I was not the little girl that dreamed of her wedding day. So when we got engaged we decided it would be a simple event that suited us. We love good food, so that became the key. I wanted music, so we hired a fabulous guitarist/singer. I bought a dress that i loved, but never thought of it as "the" dress, it was just a beautiful gown, and I loved it. I just focused on what mattered most and forgot about the rest of it. I only ordered a boquet because my mom was beside herself that I didn''t want one, it took me 10 minutes to pick it out. I had her select the invites, enlisted a friend to address them. Skipped the wedding party, because, well, I didn''t need one. I didn''t have a wedding shower, we didn''t register for gifts, we just kept it simple and stress free. It was the most amazingly fun day and everyone who attended was thrilled to actually be served good food for dinner and have a nice relaxing meal, no cake, no cake cutting, no first dances, just all the people we cared about there to spend a wonderful evening with us.
I was engaged once before and called it off about 2 months before the wedding, we had done all of the planning and were addressing invitations (150 of them!!!), it was not at all a fun experience. He wanted nothing to do with planning, his family was furious about what church we were getting married in, it was just not fun. My husband and I went to all of the appts. together, and made it into fun evenings out (we''d meet with the photographer then go out to dinner, etc.). He didn''t have much input, he just wanted me to have whatever it was I wanted, as long as we kept it small, but it was so great to have his companionship through the process, even though wedding planning, party planning of any kind for that matter, is simply not his thing.
So my lesson learned was that it''s all in the approach and that it can be fun if what you''re planning reflects who you are as couple, whether you are someone who deosn''t care about about the flowers matching the bridesmaids dresses, matching the centerpieces or your someone who can''t imagine it being any other way.
Good luck, aprailcait...and know that you are not alone! But if you''re truly dreading it and not just because you''re not a detail person who doesn''t enjoy planning, perhaps you should rethink your approach as this should be a happy time.