Two MOHs, One Speech and a Hula?

[purelily]

I have two maid of honors and my Fiance has one best man. One of my maid of honors is working out her speech as we speak (she started working on it from the time I got engaged). She was so excited, in fact, she called my mother and asked her for her input on the situation.

My other maid of honor is a very talented spoken word artist and extremely talented hula dancer. Would it be okay if I asked her to do the hula instead of a speech? When she moves, it is just beautiful and I know people will be very much in awe of her grace and talent. She has never expressed interest in giving the speech, but I know she would like to give one. However, I think our guests would appreciate watching her dance rather than being bored to death with a million speeches.

Would you be offended if you were asked not to do a speech but to a dance instead?

 

[Kelli]

Personally I would NOT be offended. I think that would be really cool. Isn''t hula dancing supposed to tell a story anyway?

 

[purelily]

Hi Kelli,
Thank you for your input. Also, yes, the hula tells a story -- when a talented dancer choreographs and dances its absolutely breathtaking.

 

[lulu66]

i think it would be great! if it were me, i''d still give her a choice. maybe explain that you *know* the other two are doing speeches & you''d be really honored if she would perform a hula dance.

 

[mayachel]

Date: 1/5/2010 12:04:52 AM
Author: lulu66
i think it would be great! if it were me, i''d still give her a choice. maybe explain that you *know* the other two are doing speeches & you''d be really honored if she would perform a hula dance.

This! I''d tell her that you are aware it is customary to do a speech, but would be absolutely honored if she would feel comfortable and willing to do a hulu in lieu of the speech. Then if she asks if you have a preference speak up and let her know without a doubt.

When my best friend got married, I had officiated another friend''s wedding recently and my BF was having a hard time finding the right officiant. She presented it to me as she would like to have me involved however I wanted to be involved. Though i''d have done whatever she wanted me to, in the moment I really wanted to share the experience of being her MOH.

(And then she found a different officiant who worked out just fine.)

 

[tlh]

I was the matron of honor and my friends sister was the maid of honor at her wedding. There was only one best man. She just asked that we kept our toasts short. Her sister sang, I cried and blubbered through my 2 minutes, and the best man went last. It was kinda funny... he was like "well I'm here to toast my best friend and his new bride, sorry that I can't sing, and I don't plan on crying... " which kinda wrapped it all up.

I think the hula is a wonderful idea... if she WANTS to do that for you. My BFF didn't ask for her sister to sing or whatnot - but it really worked out... even if her sister just gave her a toast. Friends are different and show different aspects of your personality. So I agree about making it a choice...

I mean shoot, some of the best toasts are those about funny things that others may not know about you... and sometimes it is crazy what people come up with... I wouldn't think a story about how I took a dwarf hampster to the vet to get sewn up would have made a great toast... but it did... and it was FUNNY... and the people that were there remembered "frankenhampster" and laughed so hard - and it was one I certainly didn't expect either.

It was one of those toasts that was not your typical wedding speach, but was memorable - and it was one thing I wouldn't have wanted to dictate... as I did try to control everything else.

So long winded, I think it is great to give it her the idea, but it can really be amazing at the stuff people come up with all on their own... and want to share about you... through their eyes, and their words.

cheers!

(eta: you mention your guests being bored... but who cares if they are bored. it is a toast to you and your groom. honestly, people only get bored when the toast givers give random toasts they googled on the internet because they were forced to give a speach that they aren't comfortable giving....)

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 1/5/2010 12:20:02 PM
Author: tlh
I was the matron of honor and my friends sister was the maid of honor at her wedding. There was only one best man. She just asked that we kept our toasts short. Her sister sang, I cried and blubbered through my 2 minutes, and the best man went last. It was kinda funny... he was like ''well I''m here to toast my best friend and his new bride, sorry that I can''t sing, and I don''t plan on crying... '' which kinda wrapped it all up.

I think the hula is a wonderful idea... if she WANTS to do that for you. My BFF didn''t ask for her sister to sing or whatnot - but it really worked out... even if her sister just gave her a toast. Friends are different and show different aspects of your personality. So I agree about making it a choice...

I mean shoot, some of the best toasts are those about funny things that others may not know about you... and sometimes it is crazy what people come up with... I wouldn''t think a story about how I took a dwarf hampster to the vet to get sewn up would have made a great toast... but it did... and it was FUNNY... and the people that were there remembered ''frankenhampster'' and laughed so hard - and it was one I certainly didn''t expect either.

It was one of those toasts that was not your typical wedding speach, but was memorable - and it was one thing I wouldn''t have wanted to dictate... as I did try to control everything else.

So long winded, I think it is great to give it her the idea, but it can really be amazing at the stuff people come up with all on their own... and want to share about you... through their eyes, and their words.

cheers!

(eta: you mention your guests being bored... but who cares if they are bored. it is a toast to you and your groom. honestly, people only get bored when the toast givers give random toasts they googled on the internet because they were forced to give a speach that they aren''t comfortable giving....)

I think giving your second MOH a choice would be the way to go. I had two MOHs (they are sisters) and I really enjoyed hearing the two different speeches. I agree with tlh that sometimes they are quite funny and you never really know what people are going to say. I love hearing funny stories about the bride and groom during the Best Man and MOH speeches. I also agree that the boring ones are the kind that are really generic and do sound like a googled speech. So if your MOH is uncomfortable with giving a speech and would love to dance, then great! But I think it would be nice to give her that choice and not tell her what to do.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 1/5/2010 11:16:21 AM
Author: mayachel

Date: 1/5/2010 12:04:52 AM
Author: lulu66
i think it would be great! if it were me, i''d still give her a choice. maybe explain that you *know* the other two are doing speeches & you''d be really honored if she would perform a hula dance.

This! I''d tell her that you are aware it is customary to do a speech, but would be absolutely honored if she would feel comfortable and willing to do a hulu in lieu of the speech. Then if she asks if you have a preference speak up and let her know without a doubt.

Ditto, all around.

I think a hula would be AWESOME!!!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I think either would be fine but how neat would it be if she was able to work out a hula telling the story of how you and your fi met or something along those lines? Very cool!

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I love the idea of having her tell a story through hula.

I clearly need to go to bed because when I read your post, I think I inserted the word "hoop" after hula. So I''m picturing your MOH standing up there swiveling her hips with a hula hoop wondering how that makes sense at all.

Hula. No hoop. Love it.

 

[purelily]

Hi Everyone!
Thank you so much for all of your help and opinions. I have taken each and every one of them into consideration and will be discussing this matter with my mother (the end decider )

Thank you so much again!