Tweens with facebook pages!!!???? Inappropriate??

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 3/9/2010 6:51:10 PM
Author: swingirl
It''s pretty hard to keep 13+ year olds off social networking sites because they can do it on a friend''s computer, at the library, use a different name or on the sly. I think it is wiser to teach them how to manage their privacy and understand how public the internet is. My kids had to do a lot of research on the internet by high school so I would rather they were aware of creeps and offerings of ''free'' things.

Some rules I implemented were NEVER accept a friend request from a stranger, either no photos or photos only viewed by friends, NO tagged photos, NO personal information (like city, school, name) and the very important one---I had to have the password. And I promised that I would go on periodically to check things.

By the time your kid is 16 and able to DRIVE they definitely have been exposed to facebook! That means they have had a lot of exposure without guidance.

I agree with this.

My friend''s daughter is 9 and she has a FB account. Her mother set it up for her because her best friend at school emigrated to New Zealand and her other friend went back to Korea with her family a week later. Poor little thing was lost without her best friends and it actually helped lessen the trauma (which was very real to a 9 year old). She has rules for how to use it - no friend requests to be accepted without her mother OKing them for a start. Her mother is pretty active on FB, so she logs into her daughter''s page two or three times a day to keep a close eye on it.

I think that''s ok, but I didn''t realise there was a 13 year age limit on FB.

 

[doodle]

Date: 3/9/2010 6:51:10 PM
Author: swingirl
It''s pretty hard to keep 13+ year olds off social networking sites because they can do it on a friend''s computer, at the library, use a different name or on the sly. I think it is wiser to teach them how to manage their privacy and understand how public the internet is. My kids had to do a lot of research on the internet by high school so I would rather they were aware of creeps and offerings of ''free'' things.


Some rules I implemented were NEVER accept a friend request from a stranger, either no photos or photos only viewed by friends, NO tagged photos, NO personal information (like city, school, name) and the very important one---I had to have the password. And I promised that I would go on periodically to check things.


By the time your kid is 16 and able to DRIVE they definitely have been exposed to facebook! That means they have had a lot of exposure without guidance.

+1. Personally, I think the safest way for my kid to learn about something potentially dangerous is with supervision and guidance. We got internet access at my house when I was 12 or so (I''m 26 now), and since my mother didn''t know enough about it, there were a few oops moments along the way (such as having to do an assignment for school on societal norms regarding women--we made the mistake of googling "Russian women" which can pull up some sites with some interesting pics!); those oops moments were all monitored though, and we could only get into so much since the only computer in the house was in the living room. I have the feeling this will be a debated issue between my husband and I and his ex-wife sooner than I''d like since the ex tends to allow my stepson to do a lot of things that kind of make me shriek in horror, haha! I mean really, someone explain to me why my stepson needed a cell phone when he was 8 again?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 3/9/2010 6:51:10 PM
Author: swingirl
It''s pretty hard to keep 13+ year olds off social networking sites because they can do it on a friend''s computer, at the library, use a different name or on the sly. I think it is wiser to teach them how to manage their privacy and understand how public the internet is. My kids had to do a lot of research on the internet by high school so I would rather they were aware of creeps and offerings of ''free'' things.

Some rules I implemented were NEVER accept a friend request from a stranger, either no photos or photos only viewed by friends, NO tagged photos, NO personal information (like city, school, name) and the very important one---I had to have the password. And I promised that I would go on periodically to check things.

By the time your kid is 16 and able to DRIVE they definitely have been exposed to facebook! That means they have had a lot of exposure without guidance.

Completely and totally agree.

I am 27, and had the internet in my house around age 12. I did some terrifying things on the internet that now I shudder to think what could have potentially happened to me. I didn''t know any better, and neither did my parents. I was very, very lucky.

I should have been monitored and taught to be responsible, but my parents had no idea. Fortunately, we know enough now to help keep our children safe. I think its important to not just ban things from children out of fear or ignorance, but to teach them how to be responsible.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Supervision is the key. Our 14 year old daughter has had a FB account for a couple of years, and the condition was that I have her password and access to her account. I check it almost everyday, so if there was something inappropriate posted, we would talk about it and decide the best way to deal with it. I have questioned her before on some of the "friends", and she understands that NO adults (or anyone else) should be on her friend list unless we know them personally. We just haven''t had a problem, but I can see a few of the kids pages from her school who I can tell their parents must not monitor their pages.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/9/2010 8:01:20 PM
Author: kama_s
I'm sorry, but did none of you have an ICQ account and frequent joint chat forums when you were 15? Kids are tech saavy these days, there is no stopping that. Hence, it is imperitive to teach them responsible net behaviour, NOT shelter them from the world.

Exactly! I was talking in AOL chatrooms when I was 11 for crying out loud. You can set the privacy on FB so that only friends can see the content. I'd much rather my kid had a FB account than myspace. IMO, there are a lot more creepers on there.

ETA: Like Elle, I did a really stupid thing once. I gave out my phone number and the guy's dad called me and told me never to do that again. Scared me to death! But the internet was new and no one really understood what was happening, especially me, at 13.

My youngest cousin is 14 I believe, and he has a FB. I'm glad, because it allows me to get to know him, since I've only met him a couple of times.

 

[charbie]

Date: 3/10/2010 5:27:32 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 3/9/2010 8:01:20 PM

Author: kama_s

I''m sorry, but did none of you have an ICQ account and frequent joint chat forums when you were 15? Kids are tech saavy these days, there is no stopping that. Hence, it is imperitive to teach them responsible net behaviour, NOT shelter them from the world.

Exactly! I was talking in AOL chatrooms when I was 11 for crying out loud. You can set the privacy on FB so that only friends can see the content. I''d much rather my kid had a FB account than myspace. IMO, there are a lot more creepers on there.


ETA: Like Elle, I did a really stupid thing once. I gave out my phone number and the guy''s dad called me and told me never to do that again. Scared me to death! But the internet was new and no one really understood what was happening, especially me, at 13.


My youngest cousin is 14 I believe, and he has a FB. I''m glad, because it allows me to get to know him, since I''ve only met him a couple of times.

I loved the chatrooms on AOL, and also did the stupidest stuff! But I also remember our parents monitoring everything. Facebook incorporates so much more than just an account now, with the chatting and such you can do. Id make sure the profile was kept private, and no personal info. I also agree about making sure your kids know you can and will log into their account. My dad had the "master" AOL account and had no problem asking all of my friends list who they were!

 

[Indylady]

I''m so glad this was posted! A family friend''s daughter asked me last weekend if I had a Facebook (she''s around 12) while we were at a family party and I said no. She pranced away and played with some kids, until I walked in on her on Facebook chatting with a friend via FB chat (who had a picture of herself posted) and playing Farmville! I''ve been meaning to ask her mom about this, but am not exactly sure if its my place. If her mom does know, and does monitor her Facebook account, I don''t want to be rude and overstep my boundaries when there really isn''t a problem. However, if her mom doesn''t know, then there is a problem because she is 12. I think I will mention something casually.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 3/10/2010 10:37:46 PM
Author: IndyLady
I''m so glad this was posted! A family friend''s daughter asked me last weekend if I had a Facebook (she''s around 12) while we were at a family party and I said no. She pranced away and played with some kids, until I walked in on her on Facebook chatting with a friend via FB chat (who had a picture of herself posted) and playing Farmville! I''ve been meaning to ask her mom about this, but am not exactly sure if its my place. If her mom does know, and does monitor her Facebook account, I don''t want to be rude and overstep my boundaries when there really isn''t a problem. However, if her mom doesn''t know, then there is a problem because she is 12. I think I will mention something casually.

Chances are if she was going to invite you as her friend she has nothing to hide and mom already knows.

 

[Indylady]

Date: 3/10/2010 10:41:28 PM
Author: swingirl

Date: 3/10/2010 10:37:46 PM
Author: IndyLady
I''m so glad this was posted! A family friend''s daughter asked me last weekend if I had a Facebook (she''s around 12) while we were at a family party and I said no. She pranced away and played with some kids, until I walked in on her on Facebook chatting with a friend via FB chat (who had a picture of herself posted) and playing Farmville! I''ve been meaning to ask her mom about this, but am not exactly sure if its my place. If her mom does know, and does monitor her Facebook account, I don''t want to be rude and overstep my boundaries when there really isn''t a problem. However, if her mom doesn''t know, then there is a problem because she is 12. I think I will mention something casually.

Chances are if she was going to invite you as her friend she has nothing to hide and mom already knows.

Good point! Though the last I remember they didn''t want to have internet acess available to her outside of school because they didn''t think it was necessary and for safety reasons. However, something may have changed their minds as I remember this conversation from a while ago.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 3/10/2010 5:27:32 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 3/9/2010 8:01:20 PM
Author: kama_s
I''m sorry, but did none of you have an ICQ account and frequent joint chat forums when you were 15? Kids are tech saavy these days, there is no stopping that. Hence, it is imperitive to teach them responsible net behaviour, NOT shelter them from the world.

Exactly! I was talking in AOL chatrooms when I was 11 for crying out loud. You can set the privacy on FB so that only friends can see the content. I''d much rather my kid had a FB account than myspace. IMO, there are a lot more creepers on there.

ETA: Like Elle, I did a really stupid thing once. I gave out my phone number and the guy''s dad called me and told me never to do that again. Scared me to death! But the internet was new and no one really understood what was happening, especially me, at 13.

My youngest cousin is 14 I believe, and he has a FB. I''m glad, because it allows me to get to know him, since I''ve only met him a couple of times.

I wish that was the stupidest thing I did!

 

[Clio]

Our eldest, who is 12.5, has a Facebook page. There are certain groundrules. We have her password, and she know that we will check her account on a very regular basis. She has to get permission before friending anyone (or accepting a friend request). I set her privacy settings to the most restrictive possible, and I check periodically to make sure that nothing has changed. Also, the computers are all in the same room, so we can always see what she''s doing.

Given those restrictions and what I''ve seen in the month since she created her page, I''m comfortable with her use of Facebook.