Home Tumor removal talking much muscle

[radiantquest]

For those of you that remember, my husbands tumor has continued to grow although he was doing chemotherapy threatments. Today we had a tumor board meeting and were not pleased with the result. The last time we were there we we talking about the cyberknife. Now his doctor wants to do surgery and remove the tumor which would result in much of his deltoid muscle going also. This means that there would be issues with him moving his elbow from his side. Keep in mind that this is his right arm. He will be fine using his hand and wrist. The real issue is that he is an electrician and obviously needs to be able to raise both arms above his head. If we remove the tumor that will/may no longer be possible. We are wrestling about what to do. I told him that I would support whatever decision that he makes about further treatment, but do give my opinion. He said that he is not ready for our lives to completely change. He has to sign a consent form so that they can use the tumor for research. Our options are pretty limited in that if the treatment that we choose doesnt work and it continues to grow then he will probably use his entire right arm, or we could do what our gut says and try other things and it works then he may not lose any use.

I guess I am just using you guys to get my thoughts and feelings out there. Since he is an electrician he does have specialized knowledge. If it comes to removing the tumor and he loses some use what other fields do you think he would be able to get a job in?

I am trying to be very optimistic. I told him that he is only 33 and he can use this as a mid life crisis. Many people change careers and decide they want to do something else. I told him that although it isnt ideal it may be a blessing in disguise and he could end up doing something he truly loves since he was just thrown into this career by his dad.

Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?

 

[somethingshiny]

I am so sorry you and your DH are going through this.

I''ve been talking to DH about it a lot. In his field (in machining shops), their staff electricians *mostly* work at waist level. The supervising electricians really get to choose what tasks they are/aren''t performing with the option of delegating the stuff they won''t do. If your DH wants to stay within this field, there may be more options than you''re thinking right now.

Also, he is so young. He can definitely switch careers if he wants!

I really don''t know what we''d do in your shoes. I *think* we''d have the tumor removed to try to avoid any further damage to the rest of the arm. But, the thought of giving up a career and having no idea what''s coming next would be beyond difficult.

DH says he''d have the tumor removed and THEN learn a new field (if he didn''t think he could perform his current job). That way he''d LEARN with the disability and modify from the beginning.

You and your family are in our prayers! Best of luck to you!

 

[purrfectpear]

Could he start teaching young people who want to apprentice becoming electricians? How about learning to be a General Contractor? Electrical consulting for new construction? I know when I was building a custom home I was completely unprepared for the decisions they wanted me to make. What wall did I want the switch on - 2 way - 3 way - floor outlets - how many/where, etc.

 

[Dandi]

id=ms__id138>Date: 2/26/2010 11:14:45 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Could he start teaching young people who want to apprentice becoming electricians? How about learning to be a General Contractor? Electrical consulting for new construction? I know when I was building a custom home I was completely unprepared for the decisions they wanted me to make. What wall did I want the switch on - 2 way - 3 way - floor outlets - how many/where, etc.

Exactly what I was going to suggest! I asked my husband, who is also an electrician, and he thought either that or teaching/lecturing in an education role would be ideal, or a shift supervisor role - where he would mostly delegate physical work and oversee jobs, rather than have to take them on. There are fields of work he could use his skills in, like creating wiring looms (just one of lots of examples!) which is usually a sit down at a bench kind of job (DH does this on occasions and really likes it).

But as someone who is obviously trade/mechanically minded like your DH radiantquest, it certainly isn't too late to change careers or trades! Best of luck to you both, do keep us posted!

 

[pancake]

I''m sorry that you are going through this - but glad that you are doing it together.

I think the first thing you need to do is to sit down with your husband''s oncologist and ask every single question you can think of. They should be able to at least give you relative pros and cons of each approach.

My view is not entirely unbiased as I am a medical practitioner myself, but I would encourage you to arm yourself with as much information as possible. Essentially the question you want answered is, what are the chances of curing his tumour or getting him into remission with and without this treatment - I think only the oncologists can address this with you.

 

[CasaBlanca]

Radiant,

Your request to keep you in our prayers is accepted. You can count on me.

Tumors don''t belong in the body. It is an unwelcome guest, and it is time to go. I think that is the most important element that needs your focus. Pancakes advice of getting as much info as possible is what I too would do. You have to get as many opinions/information on the angle of attack best for you. But if it were me, I would roll up the welcome mat and send it packing. Today is the most important day...the now is what matters...

How many times in your life have you conquered trials? I am sure many. If you think back at them, you will find you came out stronger and more resilient on the other side.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

I like using Helen Keller''s version. She used the words LOOK and SEE... didn''t she? Optimistic even though she had no reason to be. A lesson with in a lesson.

She hoped to encourage you...she is reminding us not to focus our vision on the door behind us...but the wonder and the Blessing of the open one before us. Visualize those doors to help you stay optimistic, just as you vowed you were doing. And the vista beyond those open doors.

Had this unwelcome guest not come in, there may have been some career adjustment on the forefront, anyway. Many small businesses are experiencing restructuring in this new tax year, and the next to follow. So through your optimism, remember not all things remain the way they are...constantly-with or without this horrible hurdle you are going to conquer.

Focus on the fact that you have an opportunity to remove this @#%* Tumor! I know you both want guarantees right now. It is human nature to look for it. The one guarantee you can offer him...is your positive stance. Don''t waiver. Stay steadfast and be his rock. I know you want to buckle and wear those little girl ruffle pants...but you can do this, radiant. You can and you will.

What I see in reading your post, is that there are many windows of the unknown. When you apply your optimistic vow here...that also means there are still windows open to allow hope and positive results. Meaning muscle tissue has as much opportunity to remain than go.

I am struggling in trying to support you in a fashion that is PC on this board. Windows doors...anything I can do to get you moving forward. So in PS pc fashion, what ever faith you utilize...optimism is the key to making it work. Go to the root of where you need the positive results...that is the muscle, the body, and let the work, career thing follow your PRESENT focus.

You asked for support in thought, and in prayer, agreement in the same result we all want is so important to achieve that! You can count on me.

 

[radiantquest]

Thank you all. I also thought of teaching. I never considered him being a consultant. He is so smart and could do so many things, but really only has documented experience with electrical work. I usually do not let him read on here, but I think I may have him read these posts, both for the support and the ideas on jobs. He has been doing this for so long that he really doesnt know anything else, much less how to write a resume or have an interview.

I am the one that breaks down in the beginning and then plows through and does what is needed.

Last night we were talking and he actually said that I could divorce him if I wanted to. He would understand. And that this is not what I signed up for.

Can you believe that! That made me cry. Of course that thought never crossed my mind and I would not leave him, but I couldnt believe that he was thinking it was even an option I would consider!

 

[hmr_mama]

Radiant--You and your family are in my prayers. My husband lost his right deltoid in a moto-cross wreck 10 years ago. He is a mechanic and also must reach over his head. During his recovery he got quite ambidextrous (thank you physical therapy)--and now anything he needs to reach for--he reaches with his left arm. I would do as pancake advises--gather as much information as possible--and make an informed decision. Just use this as your mantra, "we are going to kick this things a$$ into submission"!!!! God bless.