Trying to stay distracted, and I welcome suggestions...

[wwmd8118]

Here's my update and why I'm trying to stay distracted. The BF has told me his tax refund is the last piece we're waiting for to help pay for the ring. So, I've gone through a painful 2 months of waiting for his tax return to be filed, and now it has officially been filed as of 1 week ago. He told me the other night that he should receive the money within 2 weeks of filing. I know he has the ring picked out (mainly because I know what site he's using - Blue Nile - and I showed him the setting I'm in love with), and he has spent the last 3 months deciding on cut, clarity and color and the actual setting, so he's ready to pull the trigger once the money is here. Now I'm wondering every day if he's gotten the money yet and if he's done the deed. As far as proposal timing, we have a few things coming up on the calendar that may have an impact. I really thought he would do it by next weekend because my sister is coming to visit, and I won't see her again for 4 months. BUT I don't think he's bought a ring yet. Then we're spending the following weekend with his immediate and extended family for Easter, and they're all waiting for it to happen. Lastly, I'm going to visit my mom in 4 weeks and I only see her twice a year - he's known about this visit for a while, and I really think he knows that it would mean a lot for me to be able to celebrate with her and show her my ring in person.

So, I truly believe it'll happen within 4 weeks at the latest. I am really struggling day to day right now to stay distracted and keep my mind off of the proposal. Now that I know it's so close, the wait is truly unbearable. Four weeks feels like an eternity. I saw his family this weekend, and his aunt who he is close with said she thinks he is going to surprise me in the next 2 weeks before we go home to see his whole family for the holiday. I know in the big scheme of things that 2 weeks versus 4 weeks makes no real difference, but I've been counting the days since December, so I feel like every week longer is an ETERNITY. I figured if anyone understands this, it's the LIWs.

Now that I've explained why I'm trying to distract myself, help me do it! I'm in school for my PhD right now, so that should be distraction enough, but I find that when I have work that is boring to get through, I can't focus and I'm online looking at rings. I'm doing a lot of reading which is helping. I've been on a gym hiatus but the BF and I just made a pact to start again this week (we'll see how that goes... ). Any other helpful suggestions for how you stay distracted or stop obsessing? Another distraction is checking PS all the time, but I'm not sure that's the best "distraction" right now.

 

[gummy-bear]

Hi wwmd8118,

It sounds like you're on the right track with school and the gym. For me i try to focus on work or tire myself out with exercise. If you're too tired to think, you won't.

If you can't get your mind off of it don't obsess over that either. I sometimes feel like the world is out to get me with all its ill-placed jewelry ads and questions / comments from people about getting engaged / married.

I have at least 6 montha to kill so i hope someone else can offer some good ideas.

 

[wwmd8118]

Thanks, gummy-bear! I feel the same way about the jewelry ads EVERYWHERE and people asking when we'll be engaged. It all gets to be a bit much sometimes. I wish I could make the ads go away, because that's really what derails me. I'll be doing fine not thinking about it, and then the ads are on every page I go to (I know it's because the internet knows I like to look at rings so it's my own fault anyway), so next thing I know I've spent an hour looking at diamonds. Ugh. Sometimes that's fun but sometimes it just makes the wait so much worse.

 

[maebelle]

Haha, I also wish I could make the internet forget that I like to look at jewelry. They are honestly the only ads I see!

Try every time you go to look at rings online instead go for a walk around the office: up/down stairs/ so on!

 

[lisalikessparkles]

Honey I am FEELING your pain !!

I went looking for signs of ring purchases right at a time when I honestly didn't mind waiting and after findin evidence that he is going to propose and went ring shopping 2 weeks ago I am going CRAZY!!!

Every single day I am looking at him lovingly, making sure I dress nicely, hair done.. Makeup...
Every time he changes a plan or does something probably very normal I get butterflies.
This is going to be TORTURE!!

I don't know what to do either. Perhaps it's better to create a fictional date 2 month from now where I think he will propose and run with that. That way anything before it is just a bonus??

 

[wwmd8118]

Try every time you go to look at rings online instead go for a walk around the office: up/down stairs/ so on!

That's a great idea! Maybe I'll even lose a pound or two in the process...

Honey I am FEELING your pain !!

I went looking for signs of ring purchases right at a time when I honestly didn't mind waiting and after findin evidence that he is going to propose and went ring shopping 2 weeks ago I am going CRAZY!!!

Every single day I am looking at him lovingly, making sure I dress nicely, hair done.. Makeup...
Every time he changes a plan or does something probably very normal I get butterflies.
This is going to be TORTURE!!

I don't know what to do either. Perhaps it's better to create a fictional date 2 month from now where I think he will propose and run with that. That way anything before it is just a bonus??

Torture is a good way to describe it! We went ring shopping in January and then again in March, and that pretty much sealed the deal between me and ring obsession. Now I go through this cycle repeatedly: obsess over rings which is fun at first, then continue to obsess to the point where I'm completely unproductive in other aspects of my life, finally tell myself to stop and ban myself from all ring/wedding/engagement/etc. websites (including PS...it ends up feeding the obsession ), and then I'm good for a day or 2....just enough that I think I can look at just a couple websites, and oh, then the cycle repeats itself again. AAAHHH! I'm basically doing what you said - I have an imaginary date in my head and I'm just trying to keep my cool till then because that's my "imaginary proposal" date - even though I know it'll probably be before then, I try to trick myself into thinking it's not so I don't think about it...we see how well that's working out. Haha but hey - we could definitely have worse things to worry about!

 

[captainmcgee]

Ladies, I can completely relate.

I have been waiting over 4 months. We've had the ring since december and there are no signs of it happening anytime soon. It is killing me so any distractions would be welcomed here too!!!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Ok, I'm needing distractions as well, SOOOO let's think of a way to distract ourselves.

Favorite movie-------------

GO!

Mine is Gone With the Wind followed closely by Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

 

[wwmd8118]

Sounds like we have a few ladies with imminent engagement coming soon - so exciting!!

Ladies, I can completely relate.

I have been waiting over 4 months. We've had the ring since december and there are no signs of it happening anytime soon. It is killing me so any distractions would be welcomed here too!!!

mif, I've read some of your story - I cannot believe you've had to wait that long KNOWING he has the ring. I can't imagine how you're doing it. I had a conversation with the BF a couple weeks ago about this after my best friend got engaged and her BF said he had the ring for 3 months (but she didn't have any idea - they hadn't been together that long and he was waiting for Spring for an outdoor proposal on the beach). I said I didn't know how guys could do that - I could only hold on to something like that for a very short time. He said guys think of it differently because they're looking for the perfect time to do it. I told him to realize that the perfect time is NOW and once he buys the ring, I better have it on my hand soon! It would be so much easier in your case if you didn't know he had it, I think. Good luck and I hope your day comes super soon!

Ok, I'm needing distractions as well, SOOOO let's think of a way to distract ourselves.

Favorite movie-------------

GO!

Mine is Gone With the Wind followed closely by Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

OUpear, I've read your story too and sounds like your day is right around the corner! You better go get your nails did.

I haven't seen Gone with the Wind but read the book last year and it's on my bucket list of movies to see. I should do that. I don't have a favorite movie but I tend to migrate towards the comedies of the last decade like Old School and Wedding Crashers. Trying to stay distracted, I've been reading more than ever (I just got a Nook so this helps). Rather than stay up late obsessing over rings on the internet, I go to bed and read until I can't keep my eyes open. Right now I'm reading Girl with the Dragon Tattoo which is keeping me occupied for the moment. Reading late also tends to help eliminate the insomnia I was having sometimes when I would lay in bed and not be able to go to sleep because I would get all excited thinking about the ring, proposal, wedding, etc. I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve...except Christmas is still a month or so away.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Ok, I'm needing distractions as well, SOOOO let's think of a way to distract ourselves.

Favorite movie-------------

GO!

Mine is Gone With the Wind followed closely by Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

OUpear, I've read your story too and sounds like your day is right around the corner! You better go get your nails did.

I haven't seen Gone with the Wind but read the book last year and it's on my bucket list of movies to see. I should do that. I don't have a favorite movie but I tend to migrate towards the comedies of the last decade like Old School and Wedding Crashers. Trying to stay distracted, I've been reading more than ever (I just got a Nook so this helps). Rather than stay up late obsessing over rings on the internet, I go to bed and read until I can't keep my eyes open. Right now I'm reading Girl with the Dragon Tattoo which is keeping me occupied for the moment. Reading late also tends to help eliminate the insomnia I was having sometimes when I would lay in bed and not be able to go to sleep because I would get all excited thinking about the ring, proposal, wedding, etc. I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve...except Christmas is still a month or so away. [/quote]

The book is my favorite book ever. It's better than the movie, but the movie is still fantastic, especially if you think about the fact that it was made in the 1930s!

I've been reading a lot, too. Currently I'm flying through Devil in the White City, but I just finished The Help. I would recommend this book to anyone. It's a great read and an interesting perspective on civil rights. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is next on my list.

I feel ya on the Christmas feeling. I work in bridal, and just today it clicked which dress is MY dress. It's on sample sale, so my boss let me hide it in the back. I'm officially bonkers!

 

[wwmd8118]

The book is my favorite book ever. It's better than the movie, but the movie is still fantastic, especially if you think about the fact that it was made in the 1930s!

I've been reading a lot, too. Currently I'm flying through Devil in the White City, but I just finished The Help. I would recommend this book to anyone. It's a great read and an interesting perspective on civil rights. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is next on my list.

I feel ya on the Christmas feeling. I work in bridal, and just today it clicked which dress is MY dress. It's on sample sale, so my boss let me hide it in the back. I'm officially bonkers!

The Help is an awesome book. I flew through it last summer and also think everyone should read it! Haven't heard of Devil in the White City but I'll have to check it out.

Congrats on finding THE dress! What does it look like? Have you tried any on before? I imagine it's tempting working in bridal. I think I know what I like but I'm curious to see if that's actually what I pick once I try some on.

 

[maebelle]

I loved Devil in the White City.

Also: Read "Water for Elephants"

 

[OUpearlgirl]

The book is my favorite book ever. It's better than the movie, but the movie is still fantastic, especially if you think about the fact that it was made in the 1930s!

I've been reading a lot, too. Currently I'm flying through Devil in the White City, but I just finished The Help. I would recommend this book to anyone. It's a great read and an interesting perspective on civil rights. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is next on my list.

I feel ya on the Christmas feeling. I work in bridal, and just today it clicked which dress is MY dress. It's on sample sale, so my boss let me hide it in the back. I'm officially bonkers!

The Help is an awesome book. I flew through it last summer and also think everyone should read it! Haven't heard of Devil in the White City but I'll have to check it out.

Congrats on finding THE dress! What does it look like? Have you tried any on before? I imagine it's tempting working in bridal. I think I know what I like but I'm curious to see if that's actually what I pick once I try some on.

Devil in the White City is a neat book. It's about the building and planning of the Chicago world's fair and a serial killer in Chicago at the same time. It's unique and a good read, but it's definitely dark.

It's lace, with a huuuuge train, 3 quarter sleeve, and a bateau neckline. So very feminine and old fashioned. I'll definitely put up some pictures as I narrow the choices down (once I'm engaged), but I'm pretty sure I've already decided. I've tried on a bajillion. We do bridal fairs where we wear dresses and I've also been in a few wedding style shows. No, I'm not a model, but my boss likes customers to see REAL people in dresses. It helps them to see a 5'4" size 6 instead of all 5'11 size 2s!

What kind of dress do you think you want?

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I loved Devil in the White City.

Also: Read "Water for Elephants"

That's another one that I need to read! Especially before the movie comes out. After reading the book do you think the casting is OK? I was disappointed with the cast for The Help.

Apparently Leo Dicaprio just bought the screenplay for Devil in the White City. He'd make a very, very convincing and creepy H. H. Holmes.

 

[Glitz]

Leo Dicaprio

I love all of his movies, he's so brilliant, an environmentalist and TOTALLY hot! Good idea, I think I'll be watching Leo movies anytime my LIW'itis flares up. To pass time lately I have been: working lots of hours, starting my garden from seeds, preparing healthy lunches/dinners ahead of time, going for walks with friends & shopping. Our time will come ladies, hold tight!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Leo Dicaprio

I love all of his movies, he's so brilliant, an environmentalist and TOTALLY hot! Good idea, I think I'll be watching Leo movies anytime my LIW'itis flares up. To pass time lately I have been: working lots of hours, starting my garden from seeds, preparing healthy lunches/dinners ahead of time, going for walks with friends & shopping. Our time will come ladies, hold tight!

Look at you being all healthy and sane..

I may need to watch Gerard Butler every time I'm feeling antsy.. Mmmmmm...

 

[wwmd8118]

Devil in the White City is a neat book. It's about the building and planning of the Chicago world's fair and a serial killer in Chicago at the same time. It's unique and a good read, but it's definitely dark.

It's lace, with a huuuuge train, 3 quarter sleeve, and a bateau neckline. So very feminine and old fashioned. I'll definitely put up some pictures as I narrow the choices down (once I'm engaged), but I'm pretty sure I've already decided. I've tried on a bajillion. We do bridal fairs where we wear dresses and I've also been in a few wedding style shows. No, I'm not a model, but my boss likes customers to see REAL people in dresses. It helps them to see a 5'4" size 6 instead of all 5'11 size 2s!

What kind of dress do you think you want?

I'll have to check out Devil in the White City. Sounds like one I'd like.

The dress you described sounds beautiful - old fashioned (in a good way) and classic. Can't wait to see pictures! That's so fun that you get to put on dresses all the time. My good friend works in bridal too, and she says that's one of the perks. I honestly don't even know how to describe the style I like for wedding dresses because I know so little about them. I've been trying to keep myself away from looking at dresses online because I think it's only healthy for me to nurture one pre-wedding obsession which is currently (and has been) the ring. But when I went with my best friend a few months ago to shop for her gown, she made me put on one that she tried on but said it was something she completely saw me in. And I loved it. It's the only wedding dress I've ever tried on, and I was in it for all of like 3 minutes because it was her day and I was a little embarrassed to be in a dress...but that 3 minutes definitely made an impression. It's this type of style:

 

[wwmd8118]

I was disappointed with the cast for The Help.

Wow, I'm really out of the loop - I didn't even know they were making a movie for The Help. Who's going to be in it?

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I was disappointed with the cast for The Help.

Wow, I'm really out of the loop - I didn't even know they were making a movie for The Help. Who's going to be in it?

Emma Stone is playing Skeeter. She just does NOT fit the role for me. Bryce Dallas Howard is Hilly... She's not nearly chubby enough! And someone far too young is play Aibeleen. Sigh. Oh well!