Wedding True or False for Brides-to-Be!

[CDNinNYC]

... or anyone who wants to join in!

This is a forum game along the lines of Lorelei's thread in Hangout.

You have to make a statement (about weddings, brides, etc...) and the person below has to respond with a true or false. The person below then has to make a statement for the PSer below to respond to.

I'll start!

"I think wedding planning is fun!"

 

[SarahLovesJS]

True (most of the time)!


"Wedding shows and wedding books are a great source of wedding info!"

 

[Nocturnius]

False. They''re all targeted toward the brides who had a budget 24 times what my wedding budget was.

"Brides who involve their mothers in their planning are Bridezillas on the horizon."

 

[vintagelover229]

Date: 10/17/2008 6:54:44 PM
Author: Nocturnius
False. They''re all targeted toward the brides who had a budget 24 times what my wedding budget was.

''Brides who involve their mothers in their planning are Bridezillas on the horizon.''

Agreed. It''s been very stressful. Some parts have been fun...but I''d rather put the time and $$$ into a vacation!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 10/17/2008 6:54:44 PM
Author: Nocturnius
False. They''re all targeted toward the brides who had a budget 24 times what my wedding budget was.


''Brides who involve their mothers in their planning are Bridezillas on the horizon.''

(I''m replying to this one since there''s no quote in the last post.)

That''s a really tough one. I''m going to give most girls the benefit of the doubt and say False. Haha but I''m just now starting my planning and I can easily see how it could turn into disagreements if ground rules aren''t set and too many opinions and traditional etiquette rules are forced in.

"I should invite everyone on our parents'' guest list, even if FI and I don''t know them."

 

[pocahontas]

False, unless they’re footing the whole bill, but even then I think the bride and groom should be able to negotiate the guest list with their parents.

“That feeling of ‘oh my God, I’m getting married’ really hit me when I tried on THE dress.”

 

[LauraBabe08]

Date: 10/17/2008 10:33:56 PM
Author: pocahontas
False, unless they’re footing the whole bill, but even then I think the bride and groom should be able to negotiate the guest list with their parents.


“That feeling of ‘oh my God, I’m getting married’ really hit me when I tried on THE dress.”

Definitely true!! It didn''t "hit me" that I was really getting married until I found and ordered "the dress."


Cake tasting is a terribly boring and yukky "must" in the wedding planning process.

 

[kittybean]

Haha. False, of course! Mmmm cake.

"We have to get married in a church/other place of worship."

 

[rockzilla]

True. For me, this was important, but we are doing it in a non denominational chapel.

"There''s no place for children at a formal wedding."

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 10/18/2008 12:26:25 AM
Author: rockzilla
True. For me, this was important, but we are doing it in a non denominational chapel.

''There''s no place for children at a formal wedding.''

False, there are some very well behaved children, and I don''t believe sons, duaghters, nieces and nephews should be excluded in general.

"The minute you say that you are a bride shopping for a wedding the price doubles"

 

[diamondfan]

True. I think some vendors play on the emotionality of brides and exploit their views of their dream day.


"if you get engaged and have a lot of single friends, often times they are not really that thrilled for you"

 

[Diva0413]

True for me. I have a lot of older women friends that are having anxiety attacks regular because they think they''re going to grow old alone.

"Bride''s family pays for the wedding."

 

[kittybean]

True. (Wish his family would pitch in a little, though.)

"A wedding cake should be white."

 

[Blair138]

False, I am going to have mine complement my colors, not sure what color yet though...

"your FI should be as involved in the planning as you are"

 

[Nocturnius]

False. If he doesn''t care, he doesn''t care. Don''t make him pretend he does, and don''t get bent out of shape that he doesn''t.

Here''s an oldie for you, see if anyone gets the reference...

"It''s a bad idea to use your new monogram on your wedding invitations (before it''s really your monogram)."

 

[Lynnie]

Date: 10/18/2008 7:54:36 AM
Author: Nocturnius
False. If he doesn''t care, he doesn''t care. Don''t make him pretend he does, and don''t get bent out of shape that he doesn''t.

Here''s an oldie for you, see if anyone gets the reference...

''It''s a bad idea to use your new monogram on your wedding invitations (before it''s really your monogram).''

Hmm. never thought about that one, and I don''t know what the reference is to, but now that I think about it, I kinda wanna lean on the "true" side. Monogrammed cake toppers and favors make more sense, because by the time people see them you are married. Interesting question, though. I really had to think about that one!

Here''s one that''s been discussed recently:

"It''s a bad idea/bad luck to have pictures taken of the bride and groom before the ceremony"

 

[ladyciel]

I''ll say false, because I think it''s fine if it''s what the couple wants. Personally, DH and I really wanted to wait to see each other until the ceremony.

Sorry if i''m too daring with this one, but...

"White dresses are for virgins ONLY"

 

[Nocturnius]

Oh, I love this one.

False. In Roman times, white was the color of celebration - in fact, it was not uncommon to see the entire guestlist wearing white.

In later eras, it was a sign of status and wealth. Most women could not afford a dress in an impractical color that could only be worn once (because it was too easily stained) and so they just wore their nicest dress. The "virgin" thing was only recently the stereotype.

"Envelopes must be addressed by hand."

 

[MaggieB]

Date: 10/18/2008 10:35:10 AM
Author: Nocturnius
Oh, I love this one.

False. In Roman times, white was the color of celebration - in fact, it was not uncommon to see the entire guestlist wearing white.

In later eras, it was a sign of status and wealth. Most women could not afford a dress in an impractical color that could only be worn once (because it was too easily stained) and so they just wore their nicest dress. The ''virgin'' thing was only recently the stereotype.

''Envelopes must be addressed by hand.''

True. I LOVE getting a beautifully addressed wedding invitation in the mail. For us, a calligrapher is a must.


"Bridesmaids are more trouble than they''re worth."

 

[Nocturnius]

I personally disagree with the envelope thing, because I couldn't afford a calligrapher and my handwriting is hideous.

And ho hum, on the bridesmaids... I'm torn half and half on that one. I loved my maids, but....

I started with four bridesmaids. By the wedding, I had two.

The first one got with a possessive significant other who told her she wasn't allowed to be in my wedding, so she dropped out.

The second one complained every time we went out bridesmaid shopping. So I assumed maybe the problem was that she wanted all of my attention (she's spoiled rotten) and she felt she wasn't getting it going out with the other two maids. So I said, I'll take her out by herself so she has all of my attention.
I was letting them pick their own gowns, and she picked one by a designer who didn't have his dresses in any other store except one on the other side of the state. Fine with me, I wanted her to be happy and comfortable in whatever she was wearing. I took a day off from work and drove three hours across the state JUST FOR HER.
I waited four and a half hours and she never showed. And when I called her, she picked the phone up and hung up without answering. She then ignored my phonecalls and disappeared completely for six months. Not a word from her. I quit calling after the first few weeks.
Then out of nowhere, she texts me TWO MONTHS before the wedding with, "i feel like such a bad bridesmaid, i haven't even seen your dress :<"
You're kidding, right? (She was informed she as not a bridesmaid any longer.)

Then, even better, the first bridesmaid that dropped? She split from the crazy SO(B) and I ran into her the other day... and she had the nerve to act offended that I didn't invite her to the wedding.

You were invited as a bridesmaid, a position you declined. Not my problem.

Also, one of the bridesmaids that stayed in the party was having her dress hemmed THREE HOURS BEFORE THE CEREMONY. She called me the day before and said her dress never got hemmed (which I asked her about ten times and she insisted it would be done) and I had to make about fifty emergency phone calls before I found a store that would hem it for her in time.

So yeah, maybe they are more trouble than they're worth.

"Weddings must have an open bar. A wedding is not a wedding without alcohol."

 

[bee*]

Date: 10/18/2008 11:55:12 AM
Author: MaggieB

Date: 10/18/2008 10:35:10 AM

Author: Nocturnius

Oh, I love this one.


False. In Roman times, white was the color of celebration - in fact, it was not uncommon to see the entire guestlist wearing white.


In later eras, it was a sign of status and wealth. Most women could not afford a dress in an impractical color that could only be worn once (because it was too easily stained) and so they just wore their nicest dress. The ''virgin'' thing was only recently the stereotype.


''Envelopes must be addressed by hand.''

True. I LOVE getting a beautifully addressed wedding invitation in the mail. For us, a calligrapher is a must.



''Bridesmaids are more trouble than they''re worth.''

Nope. To be honest, I really don''t expect much from mine. I don''t mean that they''re not doing much, it''s just that it''s my wedding so I don''t expect them to be running around doing everything. They''ve offered to do tons of things but I really don''t expect them to.

"Wedding planning really isn''t that stressful if you don''t let it be"

 

[marchswallowbird]

True! A lot of the stress comes from wanting to micro-manage every tiny little detail. Chill out, and don''t sweat the small stuff.

Here''s one along the same lines:

"My wedding day is MY day and must be perfect in every detail."

 

[katamari]

False and false. It will be OUR day. And, the non-perfection will be what you remember. It will be what makes your wedding personalized and special.


"What our family wants is as important as what we want."

 

[Blair138]

False, unless they are paying, which mine is not. They can give suggestions which I will take into consideration, but FI and I have final decision. Our families respect that it is ''our'' day and are helping when asked but are not overbearing...

"My bridesmaids MUST have matching dresses"

 

[violet02]

Date: 10/18/2008 7:21:22 PM
Author: Blair138
False, unless they are paying, which mine is not. They can give suggestions which I will take into consideration, but FI and I have final decision. Our families respect that it is ''our'' day and are helping when asked but are not overbearing...

''My bridesmaids MUST have matching dresses''

False - But I loved that mine matched. It really worked for my wedding. I''ve seen some lovely non-matching wedding photos (for example Haven''s BM''s were lovely in their different dresses!). Depends on what you''re wedding style is.

"Bridesmaids are responsible for paying for their outfits."

 

[noelwr]

"Bridesmaids are responsible for paying for their outfits."

False: If the bride has decided what they should wear, then the bride should pay.
True: If the BMs are allowed to wear what they want.

"I am actually looking forward to my honeymoon more than the wedding."

 

[misspinky]

Date: 10/19/2008 7:35:10 AM
Author: noelwr
''Bridesmaids are responsible for paying for their outfits.''


False: If the bride has decided what they should wear, then the bride should pay.

True: If the BMs are allowed to wear what they want.


''I am actually looking forward to my honeymoon more than the wedding.''

True. Wedding planning and dealing with the cr*ppy economy is stressing me out.

"If you were a ''maid in a person''s wedding, you have to ask that person to be a ''maid in yours"

 

[Nocturnius]

"If you were a maid in someone''s wedding, you have to ask them to be a maid in yours."

False! It''s probably a nice gesture, but what happens if you get married ten years after your were a maid for said person? I don''t know about the rest of you, but I''m not friends with ANY of the people I was friends with ten years ago. Maids should be picked because they''re close, not diplomatically.

If you want to say that, I should have asked my 41 year old sister to be my flower girl, since I was one in her wedding!

"Every guest MUST bring a gift for the couple."

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 10/18/2008 12:28:43 PM
Author: Nocturnius
I personally disagree with the envelope thing, because I couldn't afford a calligrapher and my handwriting is hideous.

And ho hum, on the bridesmaids... I'm torn half and half on that one. I loved my maids, but....

I started with four bridesmaids. By the wedding, I had two.

The first one got with a possessive significant other who told her she wasn't allowed to be in my wedding, so she dropped out.

The second one complained every time we went out bridesmaid shopping. So I assumed maybe the problem was that she wanted all of my attention (she's spoiled rotten) and she felt she wasn't getting it going out with the other two maids. So I said, I'll take her out by herself so she has all of my attention.
I was letting them pick their own gowns, and she picked one by a designer who didn't have his dresses in any other store except one on the other side of the state. Fine with me, I wanted her to be happy and comfortable in whatever she was wearing. I took a day off from work and drove three hours across the state JUST FOR HER.
I waited four and a half hours and she never showed. And when I called her, she picked the phone up and hung up without answering. She then ignored my phonecalls and disappeared completely for six months. Not a word from her. I quit calling after the first few weeks.
Then out of nowhere, she texts me TWO MONTHS before the wedding with, 'i feel like such a bad bridesmaid, i haven't even seen your dress :<'
You're kidding, right? (She was informed she as not a bridesmaid any longer.)

Then, even better, the first bridesmaid that dropped? She split from the crazy SO(B) and I ran into her the other day... and she had the nerve to act offended that I didn't invite her to the wedding.

You were invited as a bridesmaid, a position you declined. Not my problem.

Also, one of the bridesmaids that stayed in the party was having her dress hemmed THREE HOURS BEFORE THE CEREMONY. She called me the day before and said her dress never got hemmed (which I asked her about ten times and she insisted it would be done) and I had to make about fifty emergency phone calls before I found a store that would hem it for her in time.

So yeah, maybe they are more trouble than they're worth.

'Weddings must have an open bar. A wedding is not a wedding without alcohol.'

Just wanted to respond to this one since it got skipped over. I say False - we're not big drinkers at all, actually I can't tell you the last time I had alcohol, and FI just has a beer every now and then during football. I realize we're not the norm, but I just don't think you should have to have alcohol to distort yourself and think you're having a good time. It's not a bad thing whatsoever, but I totally disagree with people that get angry and can't believe a couple invited them to a wedding with no alcohol. I'd rather people actually remember my wedding completely and act civilized.

ETA: I CAN'T BELIEVE your bridesmaids all acted like that... haha I probably would have a few choice words for them. At least you didn't put up with it!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 10/19/2008 11:59:25 AM
Author: Nocturnius
''If you were a maid in someone''s wedding, you have to ask them to be a maid in yours.''

False! It''s probably a nice gesture, but what happens if you get married ten years after your were a maid for said person? I don''t know about the rest of you, but I''m not friends with ANY of the people I was friends with ten years ago. Maids should be picked because they''re close, not diplomatically.

If you want to say that, I should have asked my 41 year old sister to be my flower girl, since I was one in her wedding!

''Every guest MUST bring a gift for the couple.''

According to etiquette, from what I''ve read, TRUE. But in today''s world, I definitely say FALSE. Some people just struggle to make the trip to the wedding with the economy, etc. I think it''s a nice gesture, of course, but gifts are not the reason for a wedding. Sure they help the couple settle in or pay for honeymoon or what not, but the reason for having folks at your wedding is to celebrate your union with them, not to get things from them. (Haha, of course after learing what the typical places are going to charge us per person just to feed my family a buffet meal, kind of makes me want something back!!

j/k)

"Everyone invited to a shower should be invited to the wedding."