tradition - never heard of the word

[ringster]

so i''ve posted on pricescope about searching for my ering and finding it. it is currently getting resized. bf said that he was going to propose by end of the year and i assumed that was when i would get my ering officially.

well i spoke to bf tonight and somehow the topic of my ring came up and i found out that he is fine with me wearing it once it is resized!?

i said i thought you wanted to propose w/ it and he said no he doesn''t need it to propose and now that i found my perfect ring the pressure is off him and he now has leeway from now until end of year to propose.

i was of course incredulous. at first i thought he was going about this a bit crazily but i think there is a method to his madness. if i get to wear the ring i will of course come to love it soooo much that when he does propose i will have no choice but to say yes otherwise i have to return the ring to him. he is sooo sneaky!

well we''ve gone about this whole engagement/proposal process our own very unique way so it isn''t surprising that it will continue along that path. wait until the wedding - it will be a very untraditional everything.

i''ll be trying to combine irish, korean and thai culture!! should be fun

 

[ringster]

but even i get the ring i am still a lady in waiting until the proposal ... so some traditions have not died i guess

 

[asscherisme]

As much as you want to wear your ring, Iwould not wear it until you are officially engaged. Once you start to wear it, everyone will assume you are engaged.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 11/16/2007 10:43:36 AM
Author: asscherisme
As much as you want to wear your ring, Iwould not wear it until you are officially engaged. Once you start to wear it, everyone will assume you are engaged.

i agree with asscher. not only will people assume you are engaged and get excited for you and congratulate you accordingly, but it will most likely take the excitement of the actual engagement down a few notches. my whole family already knows that we are going to get engaged very soon and have begun asking me questions, etc as if we are already engaged. it''s nice that they are excited, but i sort of wanted that excitement/attention to be a package deal with the actual engagement. now i sorta feel like when we do actually get engaged that people are going to be really nonchalant about it, as in "well duh you''re engaged".

there''s obviously nothing wrong with wanting to do things in an untraditional matter, but don''t do them that way just because it''s against the norm and your bf is okay with it. think about what you want for your engagement - don''t do something just for the sake of being different. it''s not as if you would actually increase your chances of saying yes!!

if you do sstill want to wear it, put it on your right hand. otherwise i would tell him that if he wants you to wear it sooner than he better get on with his plans!

 

[TravelingGal]

I wouldn''t even say wear it on your right hand. Don''t wear it at all. Give it to him and say you look forward to the day you can wear it as his fiancee. It may even speed up the process as he will want to get it out of the box on and your hand.

He may want the leeway, but seeing you wear the ring may cut him TOO much slack. What if he sees you wearing it and just starts thinking you''re pretty well engaged and doesn''t formally ask you? As much as the ring is nice, I will say, it felt very special to be asked. Even for a non-romantic like me, I was a teary mess when TGuy got down on his knee and asked, "Will you marry me?"

 

[surfgirl]

ringster, count me in with those who say WAIT until he proposes to wear the ring! Seriously. Tell him it''s not the same thing wearing it unless/until he proposes. Once it''s on your finger, you''re engaged...

 

[ringster]

thanks for the great feedback! i just saw your posts and after having thought a bit more of it last night i had come to the same conclusion. even though i am really itching to wear my ring, i think it is too confusing and will involve too much explaining to other and also does give him too much la-di-da time to propose. i''m going to talk to him tonight about it. like you all have expressed it''ll feel much more special that way and will be official :O

thanks again!

 

[surfgirl]

'Atta girl! FYI, my husband proposed to me before getting a ring so the entire ring shopping process was done by me while he was out of the country on a trip. When he got home, we went to look at that ring and some others, but in the end we both loved that one so he got that. But the presentation of the ring wasn't terribly romantic or special because he'd already proposed (not that I'm complaining because I'm not! I was thrilled to be engaged to him!)...But I think if you want the whole enchilada, wait! Plus, what could be better than a proposal capped off by your very own "precious"?!?

BTW, my precious says to say "hi!" to your precious...!

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

I''m glad you decided not to wear it until he proposes

!!! I think it would take too much of the excitement out of the actual proposal!!! Aaaahhhh...I''m such a romantic!

 

[ringster]

thanks surfgirl and hisdiamondgirl - ha ha, i''ll put the ball back in his court

 

[ringster]

Date: 11/16/2007 5:23:49 PM
Author: surfgirl

BTW, my precious says to say ''hi!'' to your precious...!

thanks - my precious is very eager to say hi to you. even bf refers to my ring as "your precious". he made fun of me the other day by imitating me staring mesmerizingly at my ring finger and he had so much fun doing that he had to do his evil cackle!