Top regrets of the dying...

[missy]

Gypsy's wonderful thread on what you wish you knew when you were younger made me think of this related topic.
What do you think are the top regrets of the dying? I think I started a thread a while ago on what are your regrets but now curious what people who are closely involved with those who are dying have to say on this topic. No big surprises but definitely adds some valuable insight so thought I'd share it here.



http://www.mindful.org/no-regrets/#

5 Regrets of the Dying

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

5. I wish I had let myself be happier

And another list:
http://thedailypositive.com/top-10-regrets-dying/

I. I never pursued my dreams and aspirations.

2. I worked too much and never made time for my family.

3. I should have made more time for my friends.

4. I should have said ‘I love you’ a lot more.

5. I should have spoken my mind instead of holding back and resenting things.

6. I should have been the bigger person and resolved my problems.

7. I wish I had children.

8. I should have saved more money for my retirement.

9. Not having the courage to live truthfully.

10. Happiness is a Choice, I wish I knew that earlier.

Do you have any others to add to these lists?

 

[missy]

For me the biggest thought shared here is the "happiness is a choice". So true and challenging to internalize. It is a choice yet so often feels like it is out of our control because of outside factors. There is always a "good" excuse in many of our heads (mine included) as to why we are not happy right now. I'm working on it because I know it *is* a choice and one can be happy no matter the external conditions.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I can understand all of these sentiments in hindsight but the truth is that day to day living is frought with so many factors that make all of those things sometimes difficult to do. I am sure that if you are looking death in the face you simply wish you had more time and think that you would have spent your time differently. Somehow, I'm not so sure it is true. Most people are doing the best they can every day. More importantly, they believe that they will have more time to do some of those things - just later. I am sure we should all put forth effort to count our blessings and not our sorrows each day - as you said, there will always be some thing that we feel prevents us from being happy. That's because we are looking for perfect - sometimes good enough just has to be good enough!

 

[missy]

I can understand all of these sentiments in hindsight but the truth is that day to day living is frought with so many factors that make all of those things sometimes difficult to do. I am sure that if you are looking death in the face you simply wish you had more time and think that you would have spent your time differently. Somehow, I'm not so sure it is true. Most people are doing the best they can every day. More importantly, they believe that they will have more time to do some of those things - just later. I am sure we should all put forth effort to count our blessings and not our sorrows each day - as you said, there will always be some thing that we feel prevents us from being happy. That's because we are looking for perfect - sometimes good enough just has to be good enough!

So true MGR. And it always reminds me of the aphorism "Perfect is the Enemy of Good". I am constantly reminding myself of this. To be satisfied with what is instead of wishing for something that may never be while always hoping for the best. And I agree we should always be grateful for the good we have in our lives.

 

[dk168]

I have two regrets in life:
* I wish I had spent more time with my late partner when he was alive
* I wish I had not hurt my ex-hubby

DK

 

[MissGotRocks]

I can understand all of these sentiments in hindsight but the truth is that day to day living is frought with so many factors that make all of those things sometimes difficult to do. I am sure that if you are looking death in the face you simply wish you had more time and think that you would have spent your time differently. Somehow, I'm not so sure it is true. Most people are doing the best they can every day. More importantly, they believe that they will have more time to do some of those things - just later. I am sure we should all put forth effort to count our blessings and not our sorrows each day - as you said, there will always be some thing that we feel prevents us from being happy. That's because we are looking for perfect - sometimes good enough just has to be good enough!

So true MGR. And it always reminds me of the aphorism "Perfect is the Enemy of Good". I am constantly reminding myself of this. To be satisfied with what is instead of wishing for something that may never be while always hoping for the best. And I agree we should always be grateful for the good we have in our lives.

So, so true. For all of us OCD folks who strive for perfection, we have to understand that there truly is no perfect - even what might appear perfect in our eyes is still flawed somehow. At this stage in my life I think I am beginning to understand and accept this but I have spent countless years banging my head on a wall over perfect. It feels good to start to let go of that - lol!!!

 

[dk168]

Perfect for one could be disaster for another.

A personal example is the decision I made when I was 18 not to have children, and have no regrets not to have kids to this day.

DK