Too many weddings, Too little time!!!!!!!

[Buena Girl]

Oh, man! Just found out that one my best friend''s b/f is proposing this Saturday. Well, my family and her family are very tight (close as you can get without actually being related). When he asked for her parents'' blessing he mentioned that he would prefer a Spring wedding. I would assume he would mean Spring 2006. Well, her sister''s b/f proposed a few months ago and they already started booking for a July 2006 wedding. B/f and I were leaning towards October 2006. We''re all going to be in each other''s weddings and my sister will probably be in at least 2, if not all 3.

Since I am not even engaged yet, I feel stressed about wanting an October 2006. I talked to b/f, and he still thinks we could do October 2006. I just don''t think he realizes how much all of us girls'' would have to do within such a short amount of time if our weddings are that close together!!! And my friends'' mom is already stressed about her 2 daughters getting married, that I can''t imagine how she''ll feel if I get engaged and plan to marry a few months after them. And my friend could always decide to have her wedding after her sister''s which could put right before me. Aaahhhh! All of this pre-mature stressing can not be healthy!

Do you think it would be a little selfish of me to still want to get married then, even though it is so close to their dates?

 

[gingerBcookie]

nope. not at all. you should have your wedding when you want. there''s a similar situation i''m involved in now. a brother and sister are both getting married within a month of each other. i''m in both weddings. everybody is in each others weddings. sounds like a lot of craziness, and it is, but its also a lot of fun if everyone does their best to stay calm and mature. yes, there have been some hissy fits here and there and money is an issue we''ve all been preparing for since the engagements, but for the most part, both parties are super happy for eachother and it doubles the excitement as the time approaches. And spring to oct - way nice buffer time. no worries, have your gorgeous fall wedding!

 

[phawk]

I don''t think it is selfish at all to get married close to their dates. The thing is, I would want to space out the weddings a little more because I want the attention on ME! Does that make sense? With all the pre-wedding activites, I want everyone to be focused on just me and noone else. If you get married so close to the other two girls, you will have to share some of your glory with them. Engagement parties, showers, bachelorette parties.... I would want all the attention!

 

[FireGoddess]

I think, especially since your date would come after theirs, that if you want to have your wedding in October 2006, go for it.

I got engaged in November 2002, and set the wedding date for September 2003. My best friend got engaged in February 2003, and set her date for JULY 2003...just 2 months before mine...and she knew she was going to be the MOH in my wedding, and asked me to be the MOH in hers. At first I was stunned...you got engaged 3 months after me, and then set your wedding date for 2 months BEFORE mine??? I thought they would be too close together and I would be upset...but everything worked out fine. Your wedding day, and the weeks and months leading up to it will be all about YOU. And frankly, if yours is last in line, everyone can concentrate on YOU, instead of still trying to plan theirs as well!

 

[fountainfairfax]

although I know it seems overwhelming to think about all those weddings (especially when we know yours will be the BEST

) I think it will be a lot of fun to be going through everything together with your friends. Of course, there will be crazy financial stress & everyone will need to plan together to keep the sanity, but I think you should go for Oct 06!

 

[windy1365]

Buena Girl - I would be stressing about having such a long engagement! My engagement was 14 months, and it seemed like forever to get here. I only wanted a six month engagement... but I didn''t get my way. It finally got here, though... 26 more days.

Anyway... the only concern that I would have about having the weddings too close together is that what if some of the same people have to fly in.... vacation time and expense concerns. Then, if ya''ll have the same bridesmaids... they will have to buy two or three dresses... so expensive. My friend was complaining the other day b/c she has had to be in two weddings lately, and it is expensive.

My fiancee once told me about two girls in college that had their weddings close together. They ended up getting mad at each other b/c people couldn''t afford to fly to both weddings within the same month. I still don''t think they talk.

These are the only concerns that I can think of... and they might not even affect you.

 

[windy1365]

Buena Girl - sorry... for some reason I read your post wrong and thought it was your sister instead of your friends sister that was also getting married. So... the traveling and vacation for family members won''t be a concern.

I think it will be just fine.

 

[elepri]

It''s totally not selfish. I have a friend getting married a month before me and another one a week after me. Although I''m going to miss her wedding since i''ll be on my hm.

 

[Buena Girl]

Thank you all for the input! I hope my situation works out as well as the one''s you have told me about!

Since my friend will be getting engaged this weekend, unless she shocks us all and says "no"

, I guess I will have to wait and find out when they actually plan to hold their wedding. Her mom mentioned to us that she is secretly hoping they plan their wedding for after her other daughter''s (the July 2006 one). In that case, all 3 weddings could potentially happen within a 3 or 4 month time frame (if my friend decides to not have a Spring wedding).

No one in our families even knows that b/f and I like the idea of an October 2006 wedding. Mostly only the people who know are you all who have read this thread. So my friend could even choose October 2006 without realizing it might conflict. The reason I can''t mention October to anyone is because no one in our families can keep a secret. B/f and I want to keep everything low key until we are actually engaged. If anyone knew we were thinking about marriage, then we would be bombarded by questions. And I am sure people would constantly check my hands to see if "it" had happened yet. Too much hassle!

I know their mom wants to be invovled in my wedding. She is a talented seamstress and plans to do everyone''s dress alterations (including all BM''s). The hardest part for me will be convincing her not to be a part of my wedding if both of her daughters'' weddings are so close to mine. She is a very giving person and I don''t want to offend her by refusing any of her help. But she will have her hands so full helping her daughters.

And we live in various states up and down the east coast, so this might also be an issue.

 

[PaulaW]

WOW!! This sounds exactly like my group of friends! One set was engaged in Jan. planning for June, I got engaged in Oct., went to another friend''s wedding a week later, I planned my wedding for the following Oct., then another friend proposed in Dec. and they planned a Sept. wedding! The friends getting married right before us were nice enough to ask us if we were ok with them getting married a few weeks before us and I told them I didn''t care as long as they were back from their HM in time for our destination wedding in FL!
The nice thing was we were all going through the same stuff at the same time. I was able to alert one bride to a bargain I found on something she wanted and vice versa, etc. It''ll be crazy hectic for you but just roll with it and HAVE FUN!

 

[MissAva]

I have to say this thread is making me a wee bit jealous. Most of my friends are guys and if I say the "M" word in front of them it is like I am starting something, none of the ones I am in school with are in long term relationships adn talking about rings would be misleading to their girls. None of my chick friends have a signifigant other and my older sister is too busy with school and taking over the world to consider dating. Sometimes it makes me a little lonely Becuase I am the only girl I know thinking about all this stuff. My BF is willing to listen and offer perspectives but I dont want to talk to him about it because I am weary of pressuring him and because we have some minor disagreements (religion, we are the same..sort of... and our families are differnt) This isnt really linked to the thread but is anyone going to marry someone from the north and they are from the south? Just wondering....

 

[MelissaSue]

nope.. its not selfish! You can get married whenever you want!
My three best friends from high school:

One got married this weekend

One is getting married next March,

One is getting married next April

I am getting married next may!

I was engaged before the two that are the months before mine.. but I certainly am not offended that they are getting married close to me.. It will be fun to have our anniversaries be all near each other.

I also found out that another friend of mine.. one that I haven''t talked to except maybe once since I started dating Jeff.. is getting married this August too! I don''t know when he met the girl or got engaged.. but it just seems like EVERYONE i KNOW is getting married! I think that just happens sometimes!

 

[eks6426]

Isn't it kind of funny how weddings clump up...just like cars on the tollways. A good part of my job is statistics. I wonder if anyone has done research to show the statistical impact of close friends & family getting engaged/married. I would bet that some analysis would show that your chances of becoming engaged increases if one of yours or his close friends/family gets engaged too.

One year 3 of my female cousins got married right after each other...May, June & July. All 3 girls were from the same family. It must have been nuts on planning and expenses. But in the end, it all worked out.

 

[elepri]

IslandDreams, I''ve been wondering about the same thing. There definitely seems to be a greater probability of getting engaged when other people around you are. For one thing, there''s probably more pressure (I know i felt it somewhat when three of my friends got engaged within a few months). My boyfriend was feeling it too and not just from me but from the newly engaged guys in sort of "you''re going down with us" way. I think it may have sped up our engagement a bit since we were already heading in that direction. Then two other friends got engaged soon after.

 

[Mara]

Mata...I am from California and my hubby was from New Jersey/Pennyslvania...so he had a bunch of family and friends fly to HAWAII for the wedding. We were very lucky that so many were able to come. It was a great time. Obviously my fam and friends here in CA didn''t have quite such a long trip!