To Those Whose SO's Were Previously Married

[maple2012]

Were you ever remotely curious as to what her ring looked like? Or how much he spent on it?

My SO was previously married and when we initially started dating I didn't care but as things got serious and the thought of marriage arose... I couldn't help but wonder what hers looked like. I also didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by bringing it up and asking... but then I drank a few margaritas and got over that fear pretty quickly and asked .

Just curious if I'm the only one!

 

[Roxy]

Were you ever remotely curious as to what her ring looked like? Or how much he spent on it?

My SO was previously married and when we initially started dating I didn't care but as things got serious and the thought of marriage arose... I couldn't help but wonder what hers looked like. I also didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by bringing it up and asking... but then I drank a few margaritas and got over that fear pretty quickly and asked .

Just curious if I'm the only one!

My husband wasn't married before but my best friend's hubby was. She went through some of the same things as you when they first got engaged. But her curiosity was cured very quickly one day when she & his mom were looking through one of his mom's scrapbook's & inadvertently came across some candid photos from his first wedding.

She realized that there was a lot more to his first marriage than just his ex's ring & that he was putting it ALL behind him to start a future w/ my friend. While the pics were a shock at first, they really freed her to realize that THEIR wedding day wasn't the "end" w/ his ex, but was the first day of his "happily ever after" w/ my best friend.

They've been married for 22 years, so if I were you, I'd consider following her example & leaving the past in the past. Focus on making your future w/ your SO the best years ever!

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

I've never had an SO who was previously married, but now that I'm engaged and my ex is in a relationship as well, I sometimes wonder what kind of ring he would get for her if he proposed. I gave the ring back, which was a gorgeous 2ct modern cushion, and I sometimes wonder whether he'd use that stone in a new setting, or sell the whole ring for funds to get a new one. I don't know anything about his new girlfriend and whether she knows much about jewelry, but if she we to get my old diamond, I hope she appreciates it lol.

 

[maple2012]

Were you ever remotely curious as to what her ring looked like? Or how much he spent on it?

My SO was previously married and when we initially started dating I didn't care but as things got serious and the thought of marriage arose... I couldn't help but wonder what hers looked like. I also didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by bringing it up and asking... but then I drank a few margaritas and got over that fear pretty quickly and asked .

Just curious if I'm the only one!

My husband wasn't married before but my best friend's hubby was. She went through some of the same things as you when they first got engaged. But her curiosity was cured very quickly one day when she & his mom were looking through one of his mom's scrapbook's & inadvertently came across some candid photos from his first wedding.

She realized that there was a lot more to his first marriage than just his ex's ring & that he was putting it ALL behind him to start a future w/ my friend. While the pics were a shock at first, they really freed her to realize that THEIR wedding day wasn't the "end" w/ his ex, but was the first day of his "happily ever after" w/ my best friend.

They've been married for 22 years, so if I were you, I'd consider following her example & leaving the past in the past. Focus on making your future w/ your SO the best years ever!

I have definately tried to leave the past in the past. I agree with that advice and think it's a great one. About two years after my SO and I started dating, his ex tried to get back into his life and it created unnecessary drama between my SO and I. That is all behind us now but it made me start thinking about her again and that's when I started the thoughts about their wedding, their rings, etc. But I'm happy to announce that we've been "ex-free" for the past year and a half now after changing all of our numbers and unlisting from the yellow pages.

I'm lucky to have not ran into wedding pictures yet. I honestly don't know how I'd react! I dont think I would take the high road... and probably toss them out when the mother-in-law wasn't looking.

 

[Roxy]

Were you ever remotely curious as to what her ring looked like? Or how much he spent on it?

My SO was previously married and when we initially started dating I didn't care but as things got serious and the thought of marriage arose... I couldn't help but wonder what hers looked like. I also didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by bringing it up and asking... but then I drank a few margaritas and got over that fear pretty quickly and asked .

Just curious if I'm the only one!

My husband wasn't married before but my best friend's hubby was. She went through some of the same things as you when they first got engaged. But her curiosity was cured very quickly one day when she & his mom were looking through one of his mom's scrapbook's & inadvertently came across some candid photos from his first wedding.

She realized that there was a lot more to his first marriage than just his ex's ring & that he was putting it ALL behind him to start a future w/ my friend. While the pics were a shock at first, they really freed her to realize that THEIR wedding day wasn't the "end" w/ his ex, but was the first day of his "happily ever after" w/ my best friend.

They've been married for 22 years, so if I were you, I'd consider following her example & leaving the past in the past. Focus on making your future w/ your SO the best years ever!

I have definately tried to leave the past in the past. I agree with that advice and think it's a great one. About two years after my SO and I started dating, his ex tried to get back into his life and it created unnecessary drama between my SO and I. That is all behind us now but it made me start thinking about her again and that's when I started the thoughts about their wedding, their rings, etc. But I'm happy to announce that we've been "ex-free" for the past year and a half now after changing all of our numbers and unlisting from the yellow pages.

I'm lucky to have not ran into wedding pictures yet. I honestly don't know how I'd react! I dont think I would take the high road... and probably toss them out when the mother-in-law wasn't looking.

OMG, I totally get it! If the ex is trying to push her way back into the picture, I can see how that would bring everything up all over again. I'm so glad that you guys have been "ex-free" for a year and 1/2, so you can focus on YOUR relationship and not her craziness!!

That said, I don't know if you meant for your last sentence to be funny, but I am still LMAO at the sight of you tearing pages out of your MIL's photo album and hiding them in your purse until you can get out of there and burn them. I can also picture MIL's face the next time she's going through the album and notices that 3-4 pages have been torn out .... LOL!!! You know, I think I'd react the same way you would.

 

[Eskiez]

Sweetpea, I remember your old ring and it was GORGEOUS! I hope that whomever wears it in the future appreciates it too!

My SO married his HS sweetheart at 23 and they were together around 10 years total when they divorced. I'm pretty sure her ring was simple, since they were young, poor college grads the first time around. I also know she gave it back and he sold it - nothing to be jealous of, for sure. I have been curious as to what their wedding was like though, but that may stem more from the fact that I am a wedding photographer myself. And I also want to make sure that I avoid any of the same details that he had the first time around as I daydream about what I hope ours will be like.

 

[MBKRH]

As a jealous person, I know that how his ex's dress/wedding/ring etc looked would drive me insane. I honestly don't know what I'd do in that situation, except probably dig and dig, and find out everything I could about the past ex-wife's "perfect day." That sounds sooooo bad.

I guess that's why I could never date someone who was previously married. Not to mention that I'd feel let down (for lack of a better term) that we wouldn't experience everything in marriage together for the first time. 'Cause he would have already done it.

That's just me though. I'm a nut.

 

[maple2012]

Sweetpea, I remember your old ring and it was GORGEOUS! I hope that whomever wears it in the future appreciates it too!

My SO married his HS sweetheart at 23 and they were together around 10 years total when they divorced. I'm pretty sure her ring was simple, since they were young, poor college grads the first time around. I also know she gave it back and he sold it - nothing to be jealous of, for sure. I have been curious as to what their wedding was like though, but that may stem more from the fact that I am a wedding photographer myself. And I also want to make sure that I avoid any of the same details that he had the first time around as I daydream about what I hope ours will be like.

I think that's one reason why I'm a bit curious... I definately want to avoid repeating things that are similar if possible. My SO has already stated that he's never had a bride in a white dress stand next to him while he's wearing a tux... so I immediately knew we weren't doing a court house wedding and we were both going to have the big sha-bang for the first time.