"To each their own" + *sniff!*

[mousey]

slightly off topic, but I always know my sister is going to say something totally off the wall, and probably insulting when the sentence starts with 'I know you will agree with me when I say this'. 100% of the time I will not (nor will any sane person) agree.... I have learned to dread those words coming out of her mouth!
Also, 'No offense but...' is super passive aggressive.

 

[summerlove6]

There is another phrase that is begging to be added to this list. I can't stand when people state their opinion, and then say, "Just sayin'...." like that completely absolves their responsibility for the statement! As an extremely rude example, " You would look so much better if you lost 10 pounds. Just sayin'...." What kind of a response do you make to these comments? "Oh, thank you so much, I have never thought about my weight before! I had no idea! You are truly a great and insightful person. Now let me jump on that treadmill..." (By the way, this is just an example!)

It seems as if people think it's OK to be rude when they are "doing someone the favor" of saying out loud what they believe everyone else must be thinking... As if the person to whom the statement is directed should be grateful that something they have been totally oblivious to has been brought to light, and now maybe their problems can be solved! For this reason it offends me even more than "No offense, but..." which is also does NOT excuse rudeness! At least if it actually isn't offensive, you can come back with "No offense taken," or if it is offensive, you can let the person know. There is no retort built into "Just sayin'" since really, they are just stating something, and don't care about your feelings or want to hold a conversation.

"To each his/her own" can be taken a few different ways. ForteKitty, the way it was used towards you just highlights how stubborn your friend is and it drives me up a wall when it is used as an excuse to preserve your "right-ness"!! However, the majority of the times that I hear it used it is simply to acknowledge a difference of opinion, as in if I stated that I prefer rainbow jimmies on my ice cream but my friend says she prefers chocolate jimmies, one of us might say "To each her own!"

 

[ForteKitty]

Grr.. this just happened.

backstory: she never drank alcohol until recently. broke out in hives all over the place. tried again, this time w/ something different.. same result. Dr. said she is allergic to alcohol, told her not to drink.

Her: I need to drink more so i can build up my tolerance.
me: why? you dont even like the taste of alcohol.
her: i just want to be able to get drunk, and i can't do that if i'm allergic. i need to know what it's like to be drunk.
me: if you're breaking out in hives, isn't that a sign that maybe you shouldn't be drinking?
her: to each their own. so when are we going drinking?
me: ........

 

[Gypsy]

Grr.. this just happened.

backstory: she never drank alcohol until recently. broke out in hives all over the place. tried again, this time w/ something different.. same result. Dr. said she is allergic to alcohol, told her not to drink.

Her: I need to drink more so i can build up my tolerance.
me: why? you dont even like the taste of alcohol.
her: i just want to be able to get drunk, and i can't do that if i'm allergic. i need to know what it's like to be drunk.
me: if you're breaking out in hives, isn't that a sign that maybe you shouldn't be drinking?
her: to each their own. so when are we going drinking?
me: ........

Um. NO OFFENSE but your friend sounds a few slices short of a loaf.

My response would have been " The day you pick up your Epi-pen at the pharmacy, after your doctor approves of you continueing to drink. Oh, and right after you sign a waiver of liability acknowledging that you are aware of the risks of your actions and despite the advice of everyone, including me, you decided to go out drinking."

FYI allergies don't get BETTER with more exposure. Most of the time they get WORSE and more acute.

 

[ForteKitty]

gypsy, did you read what i wrote about her history? that's what i meant about the common sense thing... she's a brilliant woman.. good heart, teaches at the university level!! but when it comes to things like this.. it's like she's been raised in a cult. (her own words)

 

[ForteKitty]

i posted about her previously.. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/disturbed-and-want-some-advice.154407/

 

[luv2sparkle]

That phrase is right up there with 'It is what it is'- drives me nuts!

 

[Gypsy]

i posted about her previously.. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/disturbed-and-want-some-advice.154407/

Honey, she's got major problems. She needs to see several therapists and a psychiatrist and find ones that work for her. It's not just common sense that's the problem. The conversation you qouted me shows a reckless disregard for her own safety. That's a huge red flag. She's not oblivious... she's courting disaster.

You can't help her... and you might be enabling her. ((HUGS)).

 

[ForteKitty]

i know.

 

[Gypsy]

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is stand up and object. Risking short term hurt feelings for long term advantages.

If my friend did that to me I'd say, " It's not to each their own. It's YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. I'm not contributing to this. You want to do it, fine. You are an adult. But I do not have to be involved. I hope you change your mind, and if you do call me. Until then, I'm not interested in watching someone I love commit suicide."

Or I'd leave the last part out if I wasn't feeling dramatic.

 

[sphenequeen]

That phrase is right up there with 'It is what it is'- drives me nuts!

Every time I hear that I think, "thanks for the sage advice!"

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Re "It is what it is" -- What else would it be? That has to be the dopiest saying ever.