To chop or not?

[arjunajane]

Ok,
I know this is a real navel-gazing thread to start, but please just indulge me!

I have been trying to grow my hair long for many years, and I've finally gotten it to a nice length where it looks great blow-dried out, but most of the time I tend to tie it up, or let it air dry. Currently it is shoulder length at the front and a couple inches longer at the back.

My hair is super-thick, naturally dark brown, wavy and at the moment I have a 'reverse balayage' or 'ombre' colour to it, in a layered style with a fringe (bangs), which I'm really liking. (click the link for examples of ombre hair).

I've recently changed salons and the girls there do a super job, I've been really happy both times with everything, and just got my hair done a fortnight ago.

However, despite all the above, I've been yearning for weeks to chop it! More specifically, I would like a demi-bob.
I've been obsessively collecting pics, and of course the obvious 'hair inspirations' are model Alexa Chung, along with Freya Beha, and also this chick I came across on etsy and immediately loved her hair.

I know, its silly to take inspiration from pics of models - of course I would love to look like Alexa, and of course its not gonna happen!
But on the upside, we do both have oval face shapes, and it would seem similar hair textures (hers thinner though).

 

[arjunajane]

more inspiration:

 

[arjunajane]

my thinking is:

Pro's:
- I am loathe to style my hair regularly, so this style works much better with my 'wash and wear' routine.
- it will force me to wear my hair down, instead of always tying it up
- I've been told people preferred me with shorter hair
- the style can be worn straight or with my natural curl, and is trendier than my current style
- it seems I have the face shape and hair type to suit the cut
- I already have the colour and bangs right, we would just be chopping the length

Con's:
- my hair takes For-e-ver to grow out, its not even funny. Even though its thick and apparently healthy, its taken me most of my twenties to grow to its current length.
- is shorter hair less feminine, or will it accentuate those extra 5kg I need to lose..?
- the salon could potentially screw it right up..
- longer hair is more versatile, and I will miss being able to put it up.
- I don't have the younger, pixier features I had when my hair was last short..

My fiance is no help, as he says he likes it both ways
So I need a lil input from you folks, please!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I can't give a meaningful opinion without seeing your face, but I'd say don't do it. That model is, well, a model, and even on her, I don't think it's the best she could do. I think on a regular person, this style would either make a woman look frumpy and older than she is or like a fifth-grader who needs a hairbrush, depending on the person's body type.

 

[arjunajane]

Hi guilty pleasure, ha ha - I know it may not be for everyone.

I don't want to show my face online, but I will show a couple pics of how my hair currently looks.
(I know, I don't like the 'smooshy-face' effect either, but I don't feel its wise to show one's face online, sorry).

 

[arjunajane]

I can't give a meaningful opinion without seeing your face, but I'd say don't do it. That model is, well, a model, and even on her, I don't think it's the best she could do. I think on a regular person, this style would either make a woman look frumpy and older than she is or like a fifth-grader who needs a hairbrush, depending on the person's body type.

still same opinion guilty now that I've added my own pics?

 

[dragonfly411]

I think the new do would look adorable on you! Esp the first part of your second post! I've had shorter hair, it's not less feminine and it's SOOOOOO much quicker to style. Shorter hair takes to curls more so it'll be easy to just scrunch curls in with some gel or spray!

 

[Amys Bling]

First of all your adorable! Well, hair always grows.... So if you've been eyeing this style maybe do a version of it that's a touch longer so you can get a feel for it- if you hate it,l it's not as long to grow it out-- if you love it, give it a month and go longer. I did this when I had hair about four inches below my shoulders and was eyeing the chin length - stacked shorter in the back style. First I went with the front just above the shoulders and the back angled shorter to feel it out and see how I was with styling it everyday- loved it then 4 weeks later-chop!!

 

[missy]

Hi Arjunajane,
I can totally relate as I had been dealing with the same issue and in the end decided to cut it. I am very happy I did. Like you I usually wore my hair up and rarely styled it and while it was easy to take care of that way it never looked special and I felt like I had just given up.

I recently had it cut and now I wash and with minimum styling leave it down and go. I have gotten lots of compliments and it feels fresh and I feel more up to date if that makes sense. As a plus I still have enough length to put it in a short ponytail which I do for workouts and really hot and humid days.

Also, the reason your hair might be slow to grow is if you always keep it up it can cause tension at certain areas on the scalp causing it to become less healthy and less quick to grow. Not sure if that is your problem but thought I would mention it as I think that was a problem for me in keeping my hair back/up. Even with what I thought was a loose grip.

Anyway good luck with your decision and you are gorgeous either way!

Missy

 

[minmin001]

personally I'm not a fan of the hair even on the model. With their look and makeup I still think it doesn't look that great.. but never hurts to try since hair always grow back I guess. If you don't do it, will you always wonder? also you can try to PS the hair on your pic. to see how it may look on you first

 

[that_someone_special]

I like it!

But then again... I have been wanting to chop my hair since my last large hair cut after my wedding (10/10) .. It's driving me nuts and I just throw it up and don't do anything with it.

I say do it! It's just hair. It will grow back

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Chop 'er down!

Honestly, I think it will look fresh. Sassy. A few layers will give your hair movement. And with that length, you can tuck your hair behind your ears or wear it as it. Hairband, etc. Variety.

My hair grows like a weed and I have weight and volume issues to contend with --every 8 weeks! I have decided to cut my hair short when I get home from my holiday. I never mourn the loss of hair (but that is just "me")--it always grows back.

cheers--Sharon

 

[centralsquare]

Maybe wait 2 weeks to make the decision? I think you are going to look adorable either way. I feel like I get an idea in my head and I swirl on it...but I try to wait a few days and then I make the right decision. But, I don't think you can go wrong either way.

 

[bluebirrrd]

I think the cut would look great on you. When it comes to hair, my philosophy has always been that it's just hair, so go ahead and cut it! Mine has just gotten long again too, but as soon as I get tired of it and want something new, I'm sure I'll cut it again. Then I'll probably grow it out again. I try not to be regretful about things like my hair, so I think you should go for it.

 

[LGK]

How long's it been since your hair was a lot shorter? I ask because of my own experience with a bob about 10 years ago. See, I've had my hair super long basically my entire life. It's thick, curly, and basically the same type as yours it sounds like (though, I suspect my hair might be curlier than what yours looks like? Dunno for sure.) So, in my mid 20s I had it cut into one of those cute A line bobs. Sounded good, right? My hair's thick enough to stack up in back and have a lot of body on it's own.

Except. Oh god the curls. Without the weight holding them down, it was a freaking explosion on my head, even after the hairdresser thinned my hair some. And I don't have the hair grooming patience to do a dang thing about it. Would your curls do that- stage a coup and take over your head? Would you care if they did? Just asking!

I think the style is cute, but if your hair doesn't grow that fast, I would maybe stick with your current length if it took that long to grow. It's super cute already! I actually think your hair looks fine up- you have enough bangs/fringe around your face that it looks styled and intentional. I also think maybe I like the slightly tidier bobs with more of a defined edge- or, conversely, more of a shaggy look. I do think this particular bob is kind of midway between and I'm not completely totally loving that. But, I do think you could pull it off!

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I wouldn't cut it like that, but this is based off my own hair and it may look better on wavy/curly hair. My hair is currently that length (growing out from a pixie cut - what was I thinking! ) and it keeps slipping underneath my shirts in the back. So annoying! I am seriously considering a couple rows of extensions in the back to try to keep this from happening.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I can't give a meaningful opinion without seeing your face, but I'd say don't do it. That model is, well, a model, and even on her, I don't think it's the best she could do. I think on a regular person, this style would either make a woman look frumpy and older than she is or like a fifth-grader who needs a hairbrush, depending on the person's body type.

still same opinion guilty now that I've added my own pics?

I really like your hair the way it is, especially in the third picture where you "do nothing". However, I also get the "itch" for something new, and hair grows, so go for it if you want! Just make sure that your hairdresser understands you want "fresh and sassy" instead of "upside down triangle with bangs". There is a big difference in the hair looks of the first two girls pictured and the etsy girl. The etsy girl is adorable, but her hair is "cute" rather than "hip" if that makes any sense. I'd only show the hairdresser the first two girls.

 

[Lottie]

I can relate to this, however I would say hold fire for a little while longer for this reason. I have long, very thick straight dark hair with a heavy fringe and usually I like it, however at 34 weeks pregnant last year I decided that I would have an 'Alexa' (exactly the same as a UK celeb Claudia Winkleman at the time who I really like, although it was shorter then than the pics you have put up) and ended up with what can best be described as a librarians bob.

The cut was fine - technically it was the same cut and I do have an oval shaped face but I think Alexa Chung and Claudia Winkleman must have special hair because mine did not do what theirs did! Your hair looks great in your photos so maybe you should go for something inbetween to get used to it first? A year on it has pretty much grown back but I did learn that the only thing that looks worse than a bowling ball on legs is a bowling ball on legs with terrible hair (not that you need to worry about the hugely pregnant bowling ball part of this!) How about just getting the fringe put in with a few layers at the front to see how it falls?

Good luck!
x

 

[swingirl]

Here is my opinion for what it's worth. The hair that falls around your neck looks like something grown out. Maybe when it's blown dry and styled it looks nice but if that's not what you do with it regularly than this natural look is what most people see. The feathery stuff covering your neck is distracting because it is both too long and too short and hides your neck. I do think you'd look nice with the top part layered and so I can see where you are going with the photos.

If you can live with the chop I think you'd look adorable and very feminine.

If you keep it long I'd trim up the fringy stuff and let it grow longer (since that was your original desire) until you are "done" with long hair.

Either way it'll be cute because you have a nice head shape and can wear it in many different styles and look good.

 

[lyra]

Chop it. I just did it this week. The only thing I'm wondering in your case is that your inspiration pics show bangs and you don't appear to have any. Are you going with bangs too, or just the length for starters. Growing bangs out is the worst, so you should be clear on that part, whereas just going for the length is a "safer" choice. Do it in steps if you're nervous.

 

[jstarfireb]

my thinking is:

Pro's:
- I am loathe to style my hair regularly, so this style works much better with my 'wash and wear' routine.
- it will force me to wear my hair down, instead of always tying it up
- I've been told people preferred me with shorter hair
- the style can be worn straight or with my natural curl, and is trendier than my current style
- it seems I have the face shape and hair type to suit the cut
- I already have the colour and bangs right, we would just be chopping the length

Con's:
- my hair takes For-e-ver to grow out, its not even funny. Even though its thick and apparently healthy, its taken me most of my twenties to grow to its current length.
- is shorter hair less feminine, or will it accentuate those extra 5kg I need to lose..?
- the salon could potentially screw it right up..
- longer hair is more versatile, and I will miss being able to put it up.
- I don't have the younger, pixier features I had when my hair was last short..

My fiance is no help, as he says he likes it both ways
So I need a lil input from you folks, please!

I'd probably chop it just for the sake of a change! I basically did something similar, going from a long layered style to a minimally layered bob just above shoulder length. It's more than long enough to put into a little ponytail, so that may put your mind at ease regarding one of your cons. And for what it's worth, I certainly don't think it's any less feminine. But I do want to mention a few caveats to your pros. My current cut is actually MUCH more high-maintenance than when it was long. Previously I could wash and go. Now not only do I have to blow-dry, but I also have to straighten it if i don't want strands flipping out every which way. I have a natural wave, which you also mentioned you have, so I want to warn you that the maintenance factor may actually go up, not down. That was the big bummer about my new style, and probably why I won't go with it again, even though I love the way it looks when it's styled well. I also thought it would force me to wear it down more often (99% of the time, I can be found in a ponytail, and I wanted to force myself to change that). But paradoxically, since this cut is so much harder to style than my old one, I end up getting frustrated and throwing it up into a short ponytail even more often than before. YMMV, of course, but just saying some of your pros may be cons in disguise!

 

[decodelighted]

Meeeebe I'm blind but the only difference I notice between the ideal photos and your current hair are bangs?! I mean ... a lot of those photos wouldn't be a drastic cut for you at all ... an inch or two? Why not try it out and see?

I'm kinda feeling the same way right now. Like a "bob" moment or something. I just covered a little gray with some temp hair color as a try out for a more permanent deal. So far I like! I wavered on it for about a year first though so I can certainly understand your indecision.

 

[jstarfireb]

Oh, I forgot to mention that my cut was a VERY drastic change - I had about 6 inches taken off. Yours seems like it would be less of a huge change, so all the more reason to go for it.

 

[LGK]

Yeah, I totally agree that with curly or wavy hair, shorter can equal WAY more maintenance. Length weighs the curl down and makes it less explosive and/or difficult. Theoretically, on some days, that is! That's what I was trying to say above, just, ah, with extra verbosity

 

[arjunajane]

Thank you PSers! I didn't expect so many considerate and thorough responses, thanks very much everyone for posting!

Deco, lyra and others who have mentioned the length / no bangs thing - my apologies, most of the photos I have to post are pre-my last haircut, where I did get a sweeping fringe (bangs) cut in.
(sorry, this pic is so cheesy & daggy, we were muckin about with my new camera )
So I guess the change would be to ask for more blunt bangs..




Deco, I hear ya! I had trouble finding any photos of it styled - just goes to show how rarely I do it!
Here is a photo of the length ~ 9 months ago, so it is a couple inches longer now.
Due to its wave and body, I promise it looks about twice as long when blow dried!


hope that clears a couple things up



I do agree with the people who have said Alexa's hair is not the best you can do..I've had a dig through some hair style magazines and found some other images, and I think I will simply ask for a blunt cut, one length, shoulder skimming bob with movement and body, and ask her to tidy up my fringe/bangs - I do have some shorter layers up the top that I'm currently trying to grow out, so I think I will only ask them to minimally trim my layers. Colour-wise, its just been coloured so I think I'll ask them to cut it first, then perhaps only add colour afterward if it needs it..

I completely agree with those who have commented its only hair, not something to really fret over..however I have had some truly horrendous haircuts in my days- many - especially when I was growing it out from a pixie as a teen to its current length..oh, those '"n-between"- years *shudders* But I'm hoping the good work by my current salon will be consistent..
I guess the other factor is, I am actually really happy with my hair atm, probably the happiest I have been for many years - and get compliments on it if it does get blowdried & styled properly - so I don't actually *need* a change, I just want one

I'm still going to respond to you guys personally because I really appreciate the posts, but at this stage, I think I'm gonna go for it

If anyone is a hair stylist and thinks I should ask for something different, please do mention it. Although my usual routine is to just bring a big pile of pics and pages torn from magazines to the salon - much much easier to communicate this way!

 

[arjunajane]

Ok, I'm just going to get this out of the way - it feels Really conceited to keep a thread running just about my hair! And I am not one who likes to seek attention..
However, so many of you have been kind in offering opinions, insights, questions and your own experiences, I would feel too rude not to respond!
Ok, confession over

Here is my opinion for what it's worth. The hair that falls around your neck looks like something grown out. Maybe when it's blown dry and styled it looks nice but if that's not what you do with it regularly than this natural look is what most people see. The feathery stuff covering your neck is distracting because it is both too long and too short and hides your neck. I do think you'd look nice with the top part layered and so I can see where you are going with the photos.

If you can live with the chop I think you'd look adorable and very feminine.

If you keep it long I'd trim up the fringy stuff and let it grow longer (since that was your original desire) until you are "done" with long hair.

Either way it'll be cute because you have a nice head shape and can wear it in many different styles and look good.

swingirl, you hit it on the head actually (ha, pun intended). My hair currently is 'two lengths', I'm not sure if this is due to how it was previously layered, or from keeping it tied up and breaking the hairs at that level, etc..but you're right.
If I were to go for the shoulder length bob, that would get rid of that 'old hair' sitting around the bottom layer..which, could perhaps encourage it to grow quicker..?
Thanks for your opinion, and your kind compliment.

I think the new do would look adorable on you! Esp the first part of your second post! I've had shorter hair, it's not less feminine and it's SOOOOOO much quicker to style. Shorter hair takes to curls more so it'll be easy to just scrunch curls in with some gel or spray!

thats what I like to hear dragon - quick n easy!

First of all your adorable! Well, hair always grows.... So if you've been eyeing this style maybe do a version of it that's a touch longer so you can get a feel for it- if you hate it,l it's not as long to grow it out-- if you love it, give it a month and go longer. I did this when I had hair about four inches below my shoulders and was eyeing the chin length - stacked shorter in the back style. First I went with the front just above the shoulders and the back angled shorter to feel it out and see how I was with styling it everyday- loved it then 4 weeks later-chop!!

this is a great idea amy, and I think I will suggest it to my stylist. Did you like that shorter stacked style for yourself?

Hi Arjunajane,
I can totally relate as I had been dealing with the same issue and in the end decided to cut it. I am very happy I did. Like you I usually wore my hair up and rarely styled it and while it was easy to take care of that way it never looked special and I felt like I had just given up.

I recently had it cut and now I wash and with minimum styling leave it down and go. I have gotten lots of compliments and it feels fresh and I feel more up to date if that makes sense. As a plus I still have enough length to put it in a short ponytail which I do for workouts and really hot and humid days.

Also, the reason your hair might be slow to grow is if you always keep it up it can cause tension at certain areas on the scalp causing it to become less healthy and less quick to grow. Not sure if that is your problem but thought I would mention it as I think that was a problem for me in keeping my hair back/up. Even with what I thought was a loose grip.

Anyway good luck with your decision and you are gorgeous either way!

Missy

Hi missy, cheers for your input! I had heard that before, that keeping hair tied can damage it/prevent it from growing..this probably does explain part of it.
I can definitely relate to what you've said, about wanting to feel 'fresher'. Its ok right now as its winter here, but in summer my longer hair makes me *really* hot if I wear it down, being so thick.
Exactly, I see a photo of myself with a pony or messy bun, and it just feels..slack. I don't have the skills or patience (or the length right now) to learn how to do a professional looking ballerina bun, etc..


This is another factor big factor that is likely prompting my decision - I have just been awarded a great new position with an excellent company - pretty much a dream career opportunity for me. So I feel like the bob will be more professional & 'finished' looking for when I begin work with them.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Do you think you could pull off blunt bangs with your texture of hair? It seems that at the very least it would need daily styling to keep them nice. Your current bangs are beautiful and I feel would look good with the shorter style

 

[Natylad]

Please don't cut your beautiful hair...

 

[packrat]

I think you should go for it. It's fun to change your hair and if you don't like it, it will grow back..it will be healthier and probably grow faster if it's not up in a ponytail all the time.

 

[iLander]

I'm not sure, but isn't this pretty close to how your hair is already cut? Have you tried styling it with a thin curling iron to get the waves and wisps? It would at least look similar enough for you to get an idea of the final effect.

I just had my hair cut, at a very trendy place, and I think this (the photos of the model that you posted) is what they were going for. I don't really care for it, it needs a lot of styling to get the effect. Otherwise, it just looks like a shaggy cut I got back in the '80's.