Tired of moving away from friends

[Sabine]

I just needed to vent. FI and I have been living in Hershey for 3 years now, and he''s got one year of med. school left, and then we will be moving again. It took us till this year to finally find a group of people that we really click with, and it had been really hard for us up till now. I FINALLY found some girls that I LOVE to hang out with, and we FINALLY got to the point where I feel comfortable calling them up to run out to the mall with me or anything else that FI hates to do with me but is so much more fun if you aren''t alone. Plus, we''ve been doing really fun activities, like last night we went to teh Michael Buble concert (which was AMAZING, by the way!!!!

), and we just signed up for a fun jazz dance class. Although I am confident in these friendships and feel they will last beyond us all moving to different areas like my few good friendships from high school and college, there''s a big difference in having a friend you can talk to on the phone and see every once in a while, and having friends you actually spend time with on a weekly basis. I had such a hard time finding new friends here, and it just really depresses me to think about how next year we will be starting over again, and then a few years after that (when FI will be done with the navy), we will be moving yet again. I just hate realizing that I''m not going to be settled and permanant anywhere ANYTIME in the near future. Thanks for listening.

 

[robbie3982]

. I definitely know the feeling. Hugs.

 

[Elmorton]

Sabine, I know the feeling, too...and it''s no fun.

I have no real advice to offer, except to enjoy all the fun stuff you''re doing with your gals now! It sounds like you''ve done a great job making friends (I''m still working on that...it''s so much harder than it was when I was in school! So I can empathize how hard it would be to make friends and leave them...) and will be able to do that wherever you go.

 

[D2B]

Well we have moved a fair bit and I can totally understand how horrible it is to move just as you are getting your friendship networks sorted. the only thing I can say is to focus on the positives, the adventure of a new place to explore, new sights to see and new friends to meet. there might be other financial considerations that make it worthwile to undergo the hardship now. It also might help to have a plan of action, eg for 5 years willing to move around, but when we have children that are x old, need to stay put, or whatever it might be in your case IYKWIM.

good luck,

d2b

 

[bee*]

sorry to hear that Sabine-sending hugs!

 

[KimberlyH]

Sabine,

I''ve made two major moves in my adult life and both have resulted in the struggle you face. I have 2 very good girlfriends who I miss dearly, especially because I haven''t found friendships nearly as strong or as important since I moved away. I have no great advice for you. Finding good friends is not easy. Just want you to know you''re not alone.

K

 

[mimzy]

we''ll always be here no matter where you move! (as long as you are taking your computer with you)

 

[PrettyBlues]

Sabine, I completely understand where you are coming from so hugs!! And I find the older I get the harder it is to make those connections. Although I love my life and I don''t regret the choices I''ve made, I do have to admit to feeling jealous of those girls who have their group of girlfriends that have been the same since they were teenagers. I''m still friends with some of the girls from high school and university, but we''re all over the place so it''s not the same. Anyway, I''m here for you so feel free to vent away anytime!

 

[monarch64]

Sabine, I can relate also. But you know, the great thing about true friendship is that no matter the distance, those handful of friends who will stay with you through your life, your ups and downs, will always be just a phone call or email away. Acquaintances are pretty easy to make in fair quantities, but true friends you''ve made in the past will always be a part of your life.

We are fortunate enough to live in a time where there is email, myspace, facebook, etc. so staying in touch on a daily basis is even easier these days! Technology affords us the ability to send pics and feel like you''re still sharing life even though you are no longer in close proximity. I know that I personally am so thankful for that; I have been able to reconnect with college pals and stay in touch with girls I''ve known since kindergarten!

You are right to keep a positive attitude and just do what you can to stay in touch. It''s never easy saying goodbye physically, you feel like that relationship will change so drastically it might as well be ending sometimes. But someday you will be settled, and you will not only make new and lasting friendships, you will be able to share all your experiences with the friends you''ve maintained over the years of moving around, and that''s not so bad!

Best of luck to you, I hope my words help you a little...from someone who knows what it''s like.

 

[ephemery1]

While I don't have too much experience in this area (I'm one of those people whose best friends now are my friends from high school), I can totally understand why you would be frustrated... as an adult, making acquaintances is easy, but making true friends is definitely more of a challenge. But I'd say if you've been able to do it while you're in Hershey, you'll be able to do it anywhere! It is SUCH a close-knit, small town area, that I think it's even harder to "break in" to social circles there than it is in other places. Lots of people were born and raised there, go away to college, then come back to raise their own families. Nobody EVER makes new friends, because they don't need to!

And I think one advantage for you is that you'll always be part of a medical community, where there will be other doctors and spouses in your same shoes... who understand how hard it is and will hopefully be more open and accepting of new people because of that. My brother moved back to Hershey after college to be part of my dad's business, and most of the people there in his age agroup are med students, so he is in the reverse of your position... he has to make new friends every time they all graduate and leave town! Although his closest friend just got matched for another 5 years there, so he's happy now.

We all complained in high school that there was nothing to do in Hershey, but there really are a lot of options... concerts, sports events, the Park, lots of trails/hiking nearby, downtown Harrisburg, bowling and dancing and other random stuff! One of my favorite (relatively cheap) activities is to sit up on the veranda at the Hotel and have a drink with friends... it's so pleasant up there. I didn't realize you were actually IN Hershey, for some reason I was thinking you were in Palmyra... how funny!

You would know my dad's business, I'm sure. You might actually know my brother, since he spends all his free time with med students! Mostly the class that's graduating this year, though.

 

[Sabine]

Wow, you all are so great at making a girl feel better, well, if not actually better, at least understood and supported! Thank you for all the kind responses!

 

[miraclesrule]

(((((( Sabine )))))))

mine''s the opposite, all my friends have had to move away. One by one they take off for hubbie''s job and or to somewhere less expensive to live (I''m in SD). Not having someone to do the movie, shopping, lunch thing can suck. Most my friends around my age, still have a bunch of young kids, or grandkids. But none of them are like me...a grandmother in waiting.

First we gotta get through the upcoming wedding. For now, I babysit a lot.


You''re a gem, you''ll make new friends wherever you go.