Wedding Tips - Who and How Much

[akw94]

So as not to hijack Janine''s more specific thread (and not being able to find much on this when doing a search), I''m curious, who are you tipping and how much (if you don''t mind saying)?
My vendors are: reception hall (caterer and cake are included here), photographer (this is a gift from someone), stylist, officiant (judge who''s being paid the fee he charges and is no relation to us) and violinist for the ceremony (student that I found by contacting a university). I can''t think of anyone else.
Any suggestions on which of those I''m supposed to tip?

Thanks!

 

[So_happy]

Good question! I believe the rule is you tip anyone who 1)hasn''t already been tipped automatically and if they have, that would be noted in your contract (i.e. your caterer/service bill) and 2)works for a larger company where one can reasonably assume most of what you''re paying goes to the company and not to the actual person doing the service.

So of the vendors you listed, I''d say tip on the food portion of your reception''s bill and that''s it. I wouldn''t think to tip the photographer since it''s a gift and you really don''t even know how much they cost to begin with or the nature of thier hire. I guess tip the stylist if you''re going to a salon and getting things done there but not if they are coming to you and presumably get to keep all the money they are charging you. The violinist made up his/her fee and gets all of it so, again, I think no tipping required there either.

Did any of that make sense? Of course, I''m sure a tip would always be appreciated but I don''t think these folks would be expecting it.

Maybe I''m wrong?

 

[Skippy123]

Dixie, I found this article on tipping helpful. http://www.wedaholic.com/archives/to_tip_or_not_to_tip_gratuities_for_your_wedding_suppliers.php
I gave the musicians a tip; they count on that. I do not remember how much but I do remember doing that. We also gave the DJ a tip. Reception venues will usually already include the tip in the price and it will be stated on your contract. I did not tip for the cake; we did for the photographer. I was married 7 yrs ago so I don''t remember the amounts. I did not tip the florist; that one I don''t know about.

 

[Pandora II]

I don''t tip anyone who I employ for events - I expect their fee to cover everything. I certainly wouldn''t tip vendors for my wedding.

Maybe tipping is less important here in the UK.

 

[luckystar112]

I hope I don''t get a lot of slack for this, but....
I think tipping has gotten way out of hand these days.

And I think I''m allowed to say so because I just got out of a six year food service "career"..LOL.

I don''t think I would ever tip a DJ...mostly because I don''t think the "work" they do is worth the fee they are already charging. Don''t even get me started on DJs...what a rip off.

Totally agree with Pandora. Anyone who works for themselves (as in they set their own fee and keep all of it) have already figured in the costs of travelling, maintenance for any tools they may need, etc. I don''t think they need to be tipped. So, violinists and photographer--nope, wouldn''t tip them.

Hair stylists and make-up person, I would tip 10% and nothing more. Again, the cost for their products and booth rental is figured in to what they charge for their services in the first place. Most of them work for themselves. I wouldn''t even tip them at all if it wasn''t so accepted by our society now.

I know I probably sound like a cheap psycho-maniac...but I just think tipping has gotten out of hand nowadays. Where does it end? I completely understand tipping someone who works for someone else. You could pay a company $400 for their services, and they send someone who THEY are paying $7 an hour...then that person deserves to be tipped. Anyone else is just greedy, IMO.

 

[luckystar112]

An example of how tipping is getting out of hand...

People try to tip my boyfriend ALL the time. He is the general manager of an auto repair shop. He''s got a pretty darn good salary already. He doesn''t even TOUCH a customer''s car, yet customers are always trying to throw money at him.

He''s like, "I just charged this guy $800 to fix his car and he''s trying to hand me a $20?!? Why? Cause I sound nice on the phone?"

When he was a mechanic he got tipped all the time too, and he still had a pretty good salary. Maybe people assume mechanics don''t get paid anything? No idea.

You don''t have to tip your mechanic!!! LOL.

 

[kcoursolle]

Are you supposed to tip your photographer?

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 7/7/2007 2:57:16 PM
Author: luckystar112
I hope I don''t get a lot of slack for this, but....
I think tipping has gotten way out of hand these days.

And I think I''m allowed to say so because I just got out of a six year food service ''career''..LOL.

I don''t think I would ever tip a DJ...mostly because I don''t think the ''work'' they do is worth the fee they are already charging. Don''t even get me started on DJs...what a rip off.

Totally agree with Pandora. Anyone who works for themselves (as in they set their own fee and keep all of it) have already figured in the costs of travelling, maintenance for any tools they may need, etc. I don''t think they need to be tipped. So, violinists and photographer--nope, wouldn''t tip them.

Hair stylists and make-up person, I would tip 10% and nothing more. Again, the cost for their products and booth rental is figured in to what they charge for their services in the first place. Most of them work for themselves. I wouldn''t even tip them at all if it wasn''t so accepted by our society now.

I know I probably sound like a cheap psycho-maniac...but I just think tipping has gotten out of hand nowadays. Where does it end? I completely understand tipping someone who works for someone else. You could pay a company $400 for their services, and they send someone who THEY are paying $7 an hour...then that person deserves to be tipped. Anyone else is just greedy, IMO.

Just out of curiosity, what do DJs typically charge in your area? We''ve been quoted $900-1200 but I know there are some who will do it for less and others who will do it for more. I have no idea what the going rate for DJs is, so I''m just wondering what a fair fee would be.

 

[luckystar112]

Wow! When I said they were a ripoff I had a $400 fee in mind...not $900-$1200!!!

That''s insane!

To tell you the truth, I''m not even planning a wedding, so I have no idea how much DJ''s charge for that particular event. It could be more than normal. My FF friend DJ''s at a bar on wednesday and friday nights from 10-2am. They pay him $350 per night.
When I worked at a restaurant, we would frequently have birthday parties, high school reunions, and other events there that sometimes had a DJ. I don''t think a single one of them said that they charge more than $400, and usually the hosts of the party tipped them $100-$200 on top of that!

I guess that adds to my frustration with them. Because while I took orders, brought out food, bussed tables, cleaned up trash, watched kids, took photos for people, presented the cake, and cleaned up the whole entire area of the party for hours after they had left....the DJ made quadruple what I did..........pressing a couple of buttons.

So, $900 just seems insane to me.
The job is just too easy for that. My friend clicks a button and then sits at the bar and drinks beer with his buddies all night.

So, when I get married I might just ask him to do it for free, since I know all his secrets. If he doesn''t, I''m just going to bring my laptop and rent some speakers. Then I''ll put a teenager in charge of my pre-made playlist. Put someone else in charge of making the announcements. My friend just got married without a DJ and she said that when people requested songs it got confusing, so it might be worth the money. I still don''t think so....I just can''t see myself giving that much money away.

And now that I''ve rambled on...haha

Really though...I wonder if this is one of those cases where the wedding price is higher than normal. I would make an "anonymous" call.

 

[akw94]

Thanks so much everyone! I feel much better about this now.

So Happy, yes, what you said made sense and I agree w/you.

Our reception (which includes caterer and cake) already has tipping included so I''m not concerned about them. Skippy, thanks for the article!

Pandora, thanks! I expect the fee to cover everything too but I hate to be out of line w/etiquette (for the most part).

Luckystar, I generally don''t mind tipping but I don''t tend to tip everyone so wasn''t sure how to handle this. I think that if you''re making a purchase vs. getting a service, a tip shouldn''t be expected. So the florist seems to be a purchase to me vs the stylist is offering a service. I always tip my stylist on regular appt.''s and do need to find out what she''s charging me for the day-of service.
Btw, I don''t think you sound like a cheap psycho-maniac!