Timelines: lets talk about them!

[MBKRH]

Okay, so I asked him last night when he pictured us being engaged, and he said "ideally, within a year. The problem is the money." (So I was right). I immediately assured him "No pressure, I just wanted to know where you stand, since we never seriously discussed it before."
I went to bed smiling, and in fact, I had the hardest time falling asleep.

Mission: Find a reasonably priced ring is in full effect.

Yayyyy!!! So so exciting. Let us know if you need help searching...anything to keep is from doing what we actually need to be doing and an excuse to look up bling !!

Thanks panda! Um, actually, what do you know about three-stone princess cuts?

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

I have nothing to add to bww haha I'm eloping! Yay to NO wedding!

 

[audball]

Okay, so I asked him last night when he pictured us being engaged, and he said "ideally, within a year. The problem is the money." (So I was right). I immediately assured him "No pressure, I just wanted to know where you stand, since we never seriously discussed it before."
I went to bed smiling, and in fact, I had the hardest time falling asleep.

Mission: Find a reasonably priced ring is in full effect.

Yayyyy!!! So so exciting. Let us know if you need help searching...anything to keep is from doing what we actually need to be doing and an excuse to look up bling !!

Ditto! We can totally try to help! Want to keep the convo here or start a new topic? I don't know much about princess cuts, but I'm sure we can get info!

 

[audball]

I have nothing to add to bww haha I'm eloping! Yay to NO wedding!

And..uh! Yes you can! Just because you elope doesn't mean you won't have some wedding-y things to contribute! Wedding bands, the date, where you're going to tie the knot. And maybe even other things if you plan to wear a dress or have a photographer!

 

[pandabee]

Okay, so I asked him last night when he pictured us being engaged, and he said "ideally, within a year. The problem is the money." (So I was right). I immediately assured him "No pressure, I just wanted to know where you stand, since we never seriously discussed it before."
I went to bed smiling, and in fact, I had the hardest time falling asleep.

Mission: Find a reasonably priced ring is in full effect.

Yayyyy!!! So so exciting. Let us know if you need help searching...anything to keep is from doing what we actually need to be doing and an excuse to look up bling !!

Ditto! We can totally try to help! Want to keep the convo here or start a new topic? I don't know much about princess cuts, but I'm sure we can get info!

Thirded...not very knowledgeable on princesses either, but we can certainly look! Are you interested in a standard princess? Hearts & arrows princess? Maybe even one of the princess of hearts (clipped corners)?

 

[audball]

Thirded...not very knowledgeable on princesses either, but we can certainly look! Are you interested in a standard princess? Hearts & arrows princess? Maybe even one of the princess of hearts (clipped corners)?

Or what about colored stones? Diamond Center with colored sides? Colored center with diamond sides? May be a more budget friendly option.

Are you opposed to second hand? Sometimes the setting can really tack onto the price and buying a complete piece may help!

Can you give us a rough budget to begin looking around? Any size hopes?

 

[MBKRH]

@ Aud- It'd probably be better to start a new topic. I don't want to jack this thread. Just title it "suggestions" or something generic, so other LIWs can get input on rings, if need be.
Or what about colored stones? Diamond Center with colored sides? Colored center with diamond sides? May be a more budget friendly option. I'm open to all!

Are you opposed to second hand? Sometimes the setting can really tack onto the price and buying a complete piece may help!
Not opposed, really. I'd prefer new, but I am willing to compromise, as I know his budget is....limited.


Can you give us a rough budget to begin looking around? Any size hopes?
I'd like around 1 carat, a little less is fine. I mean, I'd love more, but that'd be too expensive.
Once upon a time, he mentioned a budget of 3K. So, I'm going to stretch and say if you could find something under 5, that'd be a bit more realistic. Although I haven't had much luck looking @ three-stone princesses that were under 5K


@panda - I don't know too much about three-stone princess cuts, so I'm open to pretty much anything!

Thanks for your help, ladies! As I said, I'm open to all your suggestions!

 

[audball]

Sounds good! Go ahead and get a new topic going and we'll see what we can do to help!

 

[Chewbacca]

I've remembered recently that I do have a lapsed timeline - two separate ones. One was a three-year goal, and the other was after a year of living together. Both were for 2011.

We were in no position to be married at that time, so I guess we both just tried to skulk past the date unnoticed! Obviously it worked, I'd forgotten all about it!

 

[audball]

I've remembered recently that I do have a lapsed timeline - two separate ones. One was a three-year goal, and the other was after a year of living together. Both were for 2011.

We were in no position to be married at that time, so I guess we both just tried to skulk past the date unnoticed! Obviously it worked, I'd forgotten all about it!

At least you BOTH forgot about it!

 

[katrinab]

Well my ring is currently being made but I don't think my SO knows how important it is to me that we get engaged before the end of the year. Not sure how I should approach the subject with him too because he gets really annoyed if I bring it up, saying that I am being unromantic and he'll propose in his own good time etc. It's really important to me that we get engaged before the end of the year because I've been waiting for years already (we've been together almost 5 years), he wants a year-long engagement and we both want a summer wedding (late 2013/early 2014 in New Zealand). It was a real struggle to get him to agree to have my ring made when the perfect stone came up and a trusted family jeweler was available to make it. We have paid a deposit and still have to pay the rest before they give it to us.

So how do you think I should tell my SO all this? Do you think maybe I should just ask him if he thinks it would be possible to be engaged by the end of the year and tell him that if he agrees to this that I won't say another word to him about rings/diamonds/engagement/wedding/propose? Or should I just button up and wait? It's driving me crazy! It seems so close yet so far away!

 

[pandabee]

Well my ring is currently being made but I don't think my SO knows how important it is to me that we get engaged before the end of the year. Not sure how I should approach the subject with him too because he gets really annoyed if I bring it up, saying that I am being unromantic and he'll propose in his own good time etc. It's really important to me that we get engaged before the end of the year because I've been waiting for years already (we've been together almost 5 years), he wants a year-long engagement and we both want a summer wedding (late 2013/early 2014 in New Zealand). It was a real struggle to get him to agree to have my ring made when the perfect stone came up and a trusted family jeweler was available to make it. We have paid a deposit and still have to pay the rest before they give it to us.

So how do you think I should tell my SO all this? Do you think maybe I should just ask him if he thinks it would be possible to be engaged by the end of the year and tell him that if he agrees to this that I won't say another word to him about rings/diamonds/engagement/wedding/propose? Or should I just button up and wait? It's driving me crazy! It seems so close yet so far away!

I may be in the minority here, but I would suggest not saying anything...Christmas is just under 1 month away, plus 6 more days til the end of the year. 5 years is a long time to wait but what's another month of that? Would you really start wedding planning a month earlier if he had proposed now instead of at the end of the year? I think if you have both agreed on the timeline you want for your wedding, and how long you should be engaged before that, he should be able to do the math and have a timeline in his own head.

As for the ring, I think sometimes boys just need a good push to get the ball going Also, if you wanna get on the ball in regards to planning, you could always start pseudo-planning? Or at least gathering ideas of who you want to contact immediately after, what types of things you want, etc.

In the end, you know your BF the best, but it sounds as if he is already done being asked about his timeline and wants to do it on his own terms (which possibly you pushed the envelope a little with wanting to get your ring done when the perfect stone came up. Totally understandable though, so maybe he let you have that one). Just enjoy the last leg of waiting and come vent to us here! That's what we are here for

 

[Chewbacca]

katrinab, Hi NZ! I'm in Auckland, where are you?

Re: talking to SO, I think I would leave it alone? He knows the wedding date goal, and the length of engagement goal, I would try my best to trust him to have done the math! In the meantime you can sneak wedding research, right! But by all means if you think your SO would be cool with a 'subtle' line of questioning, do it!

 

[misscuppycake]

I don't have any specific timeline set but I have dropped the "I'd like to be married before I'm 30" line once or twice (I'm 26 now). I know that deep down inside though, I don't really feel like waiting anymore than 2 years. Since we're likely eloping and thus spending next to nothing on the wedding and we're both settled into our careers, money isn't really the issue. It's all about commitment and feelings now; I'm willing to give it some more time (both for him and myself) but I know there will be a point where I'll say "What are we waiting for...?"

 

[madelise]

Well my ring is currently being made but I don't think my SO knows how important it is to me that we get engaged before the end of the year. Not sure how I should approach the subject with him too because he gets really annoyed if I bring it up, saying that I am being unromantic and he'll propose in his own good time etc. It's really important to me that we get engaged before the end of the year because I've been waiting for years already (we've been together almost 5 years), he wants a year-long engagement and we both want a summer wedding (late 2013/early 2014 in New Zealand). It was a real struggle to get him to agree to have my ring made when the perfect stone came up and a trusted family jeweler was available to make it. We have paid a deposit and still have to pay the rest before they give it to us.

So how do you think I should tell my SO all this? Do you think maybe I should just ask him if he thinks it would be possible to be engaged by the end of the year and tell him that if he agrees to this that I won't say another word to him about rings/diamonds/engagement/wedding/propose? Or should I just button up and wait? It's driving me crazy! It seems so close yet so far away!

I agree with the other ladies. Leave it alone. If you've been mentioning it enough for him to be annoyed, you've already overstepped your boundary. He gets it. There's no need to nag. I have this same problem. I loveeeee bugging SO for a proposal. A few lovely ladies here reminded me that a proposal is HIS thing, too. It's not just about US, the ladies, even though it feels like it is. Let him have some control.

And you never know. What if he already made the ring with your jeweler? He might be wanting to surprise you, and it's hard enough for him to contain his own secret.. but if you bug him to the point of annoyance, he might just spill the beans to you. He might just be feeling his OWN pressure with his own plans, and he doesn't need you to add extra pressure. It's a sensitive time for him, too.

Come here, and complain to us. This is what the LIW side is for Get all your frustrations out, HERE, not to him. And if you feel you MUST have a conversation with him about it, talk about how it's hard for you to contain your words. Work out an agreement about when you CAN discuss it. Example: "Hi honey, it's hard for me to contain my excitement and feelings for wanting an engagement. I know it's annoying you how often I bring it up, but lack of communication makes me more antsy. Can we agree to a date, where I won't mention ANY MORE engagement stuff, but if it doesn't happen by that date, I can talk freely again?" Something like that. On another board, it's called a "Shutup Pact".

 

[katrinab]

Hi Chewbacca, oh gosh that's cool! I'm not too far away from you, in Paeroa Hardly the fine jewellery capital of NZ. I thought I was relatively good with knowledge on diamonds etc... then I came across PS It's like a whole other world!

Good advice on the SO thing, thanks pandabee and chewbacca. I actually put a photo of my ring on our background picture with photos of a few toys he would like as a kind of wishlist for Christmas. He got home from work and had a big chuckle about it which I take to be a good sign. Then he said something cheesy about how he's already got what he wants for Christmas this year and every Christmas after that: ME! I do know that he wants to get married as much as I do but I think he just doesn't realise how crazy it makes me feel that we're so close to being engaged but I feel completely out of the loop! I'm usually the one who does all the organising and planning so feeling completely powerless about such a big decision in our lives is making me do cartwheels! But that subtle reminder that I haven't forgotten about it did make me feel a little better

Thanks madelise! I know you're right, it's best to just leave him to it! I might just hold you to your suggestion to let it all out with my fellow LIWs

 

[madelise]

I'm usually the one who does all the organising and planning so feeling completely powerless about such a big decision in our lives is making me do cartwheels!

Thanks madelise! I know you're right, it's best to just leave him to it! I might just hold you to your suggestion to let it all out with my fellow LIWs

First sentence is ME right there. I do ALL of our planning. To have him have the control over the proposal is VERY hard for a planner girlfriend. I wish I can pull up the exact words these lovely LIWs (actually, I believe it was StarSparkle, so BIW!) shared with me, so I can share it with you. This is his ONE thing to control, so let him have it! Know that I'm right there suffering with you!


And yes, let it out here. That's what this board is for!!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

it's getting close to 2013...

i have been keeping my mouth shut about e rings except for the switch from AVC to RB...and getting SO "on my team" since he thought RB solitaires were too "boring" - so we paired it with a nice 7 stone and then he saw the light! I know there are plenty of threads, but frankly i don't have the time to flip through them all...does anyone have a little quick guide about the angles we need on this? LOL. I *know* GIA XXX isn't enough. I'm afraid if i try to interject again it might push back possible timelines and i don't want to frustrate him further than my craziness did over the summer. I almost feel like i should just tell him GIA XXX, because at least i'd be getting a decent stone...i dont want to push the extra numbers and then be dissappointed and ruin my engagement ring when i see the numbers weren't taken into acct...if that makes sense...

oh and he's getting it from tiffany's which further complicates things...i know they can call in rings...but im not sure if he can bring in his little index card of numbers...and frankly im afraid they might just bring out the 4-5 rings in the case there that are in the size and pricepoint since the store we go to always has a fairly large stock in the solitaire (casino and most pop setting there), he will see it sparkle and be donezo...

ETA:

i know i can get more for vatche u113 and stone buttttt i want the real thing and SO wants the real thing too. he likes the piece of mind and shopping experience tiff's gives.

 

[pandabee]

I am no help on the angles but unffff a Tiffany solitaire with a seven stone?? Sounds like heaven. I'm a little sad you're leaving the AVC train but who cares, it's gonna be gaw-juss!!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

I am no help on the angles but unffff a Tiffany solitaire with a seven stone?? Sounds like heaven. I'm a little sad you're leaving the AVC train but who cares, it's gonna be gaw-juss!!

UGHHHH I droooooolllll over your AVC! SUCH A GORGEOUS STONE and great deal! Unfortunately, AVCs are so pricey (more so than a tiffany solitaire!) I know RB face up larger than AVC's and to get near colorless and the mm range it's more than the solitaire from tiffs. Then i have to add in the cost for the setting - and it just gets to be way over budget haha. You were so lucky to snap up that beauty and i just LOVE IT & i love seeing pics of it...ring ****!

We are going to probably go with the .56 shared prong 7 stone from tiffs, since that was an acceptable amount of bling for him with the "boring" solitaire. He was only swayed after about 35 mins with me and the solitaire on...multiple wedding bands...coaxing from our amazing SA LOL. He was still stuck on "novo-like" but the moment he saw it alone with no e ring and saw the 7 stone with no e ring he was SOLD. LOL those micro pave really dont do much for me when alone. TBH it didnt even sparkle THAT much in the store lighting! And the 7 tone was only 1500 more than the novo wb which i find funny.

 

[madelise]

LLC, I think you "need" a T&Co ring. You wanted one since day one, and only wavered because of PS. Now you're making a full circle, and are back where you started. A T&Co ring fits you and your SO, and your relationship. It's perfect for you.

 

[pandabee]

LLC, I think you "need" a T&Co ring. You wanted one since day one, and only wavered because of PS. Now you're making a full circle, and are back where you started. A T&Co ring fits you and your SO, and your relationship. It's perfect for you.

Couldn't have said this better myself!!

 

[Chewbacca]

I agree with above too, LLC!

 

[audball]

LLC, I think you "need" a T&Co ring. You wanted one since day one, and only wavered because of PS. Now you're making a full circle, and are back where you started. A T&Co ring fits you and your SO, and your relationship. It's perfect for you.

Couldn't have said this better myself!!

Exactly. It's YOU. You do not need to explain yourself. It's very fitting for the two of you as a couple to have Tiffany rings. I can't wait to see it!

 

[star sparkle]

First sentence is ME right there. I do ALL of our planning. To have him have the control over the proposal is VERY hard for a planner girlfriend. I wish I can pull up the exact words these lovely LIWs (actually, I believe it was StarSparkle, so BIW!) shared with me, so I can share it with you. This is his ONE thing to control, so let him have it! Know that I'm right there suffering with you!

And yes, let it out here. That's what this board is for!!

Awww, I'm so glad that what I said actually helped you! You're right, and it IS so hard, but sooo many of us have gotten through it and I know you, and katrinab, and aud, and all the other lovely LIW's who are waiting will get there too! And once it happens, believe me when I say that you'll look back and feel silly about all the stress and anxiety you put yourself through. I know I did, and I'd like to think that my LIW symptoms were on the tamer end of the spectrum.

 

[star sparkle]

LLC, I think you "need" a T&Co ring. You wanted one since day one, and only wavered because of PS. Now you're making a full circle, and are back where you started. A T&Co ring fits you and your SO, and your relationship. It's perfect for you.

Couldn't have said this better myself!!

Exactly. It's YOU. You do not need to explain yourself. It's very fitting for the two of you as a couple to have Tiffany rings. I can't wait to see it!

I agree with all of this. LLC, you and a T&Co. ring just seem destined for each other! I think it would be the perfect choice for you!

 

[audball]

First sentence is ME right there. I do ALL of our planning. To have him have the control over the proposal is VERY hard for a planner girlfriend. I wish I can pull up the exact words these lovely LIWs (actually, I believe it was StarSparkle, so BIW!) shared with me, so I can share it with you. This is his ONE thing to control, so let him have it! Know that I'm right there suffering with you!

And yes, let it out here. That's what this board is for!!

Awww, I'm so glad that what I said actually helped you! You're right, and it IS so hard, but sooo many of us have gotten through it and I know you, and katrinab, and aud, and all the other lovely LIW's who are waiting will get there too! And once it happens, believe me when I say that you'll look back and feel silly about all the stress and anxiety you put yourself through. I know I did, and I'd like to think that my LIW symptoms were on the tamer end of the spectrum.

We need wise LIW graduates like you star! I'm sure I'll look back at my craziness and won't be able to believe that I was so stressed about it all. But still being in the midst of it, I'm going nuts! I just want to marry the love of my life already!

 

[katrinab]

You lovely ladies are so amazing, thank you for empathizing with me! Luckily I have been very good and have not dropped any hints or clues... Feeling a bit better about it all too. I did have the opportunity to tell him how much I appreciate him being so patient with me and also letting me choose exactly what I want for my ring, told him that I understand that this is pretty much the only thing he's had control over so I'm trying to be patient. Also slipped in that I was hoping it would happen this year but that I would understand (no not a lie, I truly would understand.. not saying I'd be ok with it, but I would understand!) if he would rather wait. So the ball is completely in his court and I am officially butting out

And now I have this in writing so if I come back in a few days to have a whinge just remind me about what I've said above!

 

[audball]

That's good to hear katrina! I'm glad you're feeling better about it.

 

[Chewbacca]

Hi Chewbacca, oh gosh that's cool! I'm not too far away from you, in Paeroa Hardly the fine jewellery capital of NZ. I thought I was relatively good with knowledge on diamonds etc... then I came across PS It's like a whole other world!

I don't think NZ HAS a fine jewellery capital! In saying that, we do have Robinson Designer Goldsmith.