Thought Proposal was a shock, Now The Wedding

[Tazie973]

Ok, I know I am new here and I posted about LIW for christmas proposal and was shocked when it happened. Now my FI wants to get married while we are on vacation in Maui in 3 weeks. We go every year for 2 weeks, its been that way for the past 3 years. He wants a romantic sunset beach wedding with just us two and then plan a big reception when we get back. I knew someday I would marry this man, and im exstatic about being engaged but to get married 3 weeks after. I am looking for a little advise ladies. Im not sure if i am just in shock or what......We bought the Maui tickets 6 months ago and as i said befor, I didnt think in a million years he would propose any time soon. Maybe its just cold feet or jitters......

 

[sunnyd]

Well you don''t HAVE to get married there if you don''t want to.

 

[treefrog]

What kind of wedding were you thinking about? If Maui is every year, were you thinking next year or maybe not even Maui at all? Yes, that''s not much time at all but it could be done (keep in mind you''ll need time to get the wedding bands)... if that''s what you both want. Doesn''t sound like that''s what you want or are ready for though. Have you brought up your concerns with him?


Treefrog

 

[Dreamer_D]

Ummmm... why the rush?

Get married when and how you want to. Nothing worse than feeling pressured for something so big. I knew I wanted to marry my husband and was committed to it, but it is normal to freak out in the weeks and months before your wedding. Rushing it could cause more freaking out and negatively impact your first months together and a couple I think.

 

[LilyKat]

It depends entirely on how you feel and what you want.

Have you always envisaged how your wedding will be? Do you want your family and friends there? Do you want more time to enjoy being a fiance, a bride? Because that's something you can never have again (hopefully). Do you feel you need more time for your relationship to progress naturally, to prepare yourself for marriage?

Having said that, it may be that you just want the wedding part over and to be able to start your married lives together. I know that many people do, but from the tone of your post, I'm guessing you might not be one of them.

If in doubt, wait.

 

[monkeyprincess]

He must really be caught up in the excitement of the engagement. I think a wedding is the first big decision a couple makes together, and it has to be a decision you both agree on. It doesn't sound like you're ready to do this in 3 weeks. I wouldn't be either!

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 12/29/2009 5:43:06 PM
Author: monkeyprincess
He must really be caught up in the excitement of the engagement. I think a wedding is the first big decision a couple makes together, and it has to be a decision you both agree on. It doesn't sound like you're ready to do this in 3 weeks. I wouldn't be either!

I completely agree!

I know you love him, and are sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him, but that doesn't mean you have to rush into getting married. IMO, it's obvious from your post that you do not want to get married in 3 weeks.

Don't feel bad. I also just got engaged on Christmas, and I can tell you I wouldn't be happy with the prospect of an impromptu wedding in 3 weeks.

Your post only mentioned what your FI wants, what do you want?

Edited for typo

 

[Tazie973]

Your all awesome. I would love a wedding in Hawaii and I dont mind not having people there as we are older and all the kids are pretty much grown. But I would rather wait until our next trip there. I waited years to be engaged, not with him but in a past relationship that never ended up in an engagement...after 14 years, I left. I am very happy with my FI and know that we are ment to be but I think being engaged and planning a reception and having fun with it is a memory I would want to have . He told me that we can do what ever I want, that is not just about him and what he would like. He is willilng to let me do it my way all the way. We will talk more this weekend when we can spend some time together talking about it. We have not really seen each other much since christmas. Thanks for all your advise. I will up date you soon.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Very exciting! If you want to relish the planning process then do that. it sounds like he''s just excited

That being said, we planned ours in 6 weeks and it was great (I was thrilled I didn''t have a long time to obsess about wedding stuff) but each person is different.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Sounds like you guys have made an excellent decision for both of you

I think its so wonderful to be able to enjoy and savor the planning process and also to give yourself time to enjoy being engaged. Congratulations!!

 

[Sizzle]

I agree that you have to do what you want.. personally I would have LOVED this. I think people get way to into the planning process and getting all wrapped up in the wedding that they forget to plan the marriage. Enjoy whatever your decision is and congratulations!