This makes me so angry

[basil]

Fiance just received word that one of his co-workers is pregnant.

Now, I''m all for women''s rights and all, but this girl is being ridiculous.

She doesn''t want to take a real maternity leave, cause then she would have to make up the time at the end of her training. So she''s basically forcing fiance to take all her calls for 3 months when he is supposed to be doing his research and not involved in patient care. Nevermind that this makes no sense, because he will only be taking care of patients at night and not during the day, so he won''t know them at all.

She''s *generously* offered to make up the calls she''s making him take by taking some of his this fall. But she''s cherry picking. She won''t take any weekend calls. She won''t take any Friday calls. She won''t take any of his call days over Thanksgiving (he has Thursday, Saturday and Sunday that week). Because she wants to spend time with her husband. What about our schedule and the fact that we''d like to spend time together too!

It''s totally screwing up all our plans from now until June. He has to take call on his scheduled vacation week in May. And he has no call in December, which does us no good because I''m on call every weekend in December!

There''s no choice for him...his bosses have told him he has to do it because they have to accomodate her because she is pregnant. Why can''t she take a regular maternity leave (6 weeks off or whatever) and then she can make up the time at the end of her training, and cover his schedule, which would end up being right before our wedding.

 

[musey]

Taking her calls? Is your FI a telemarketer? I''m confused. Or are you talking about an on-call physician?

Well, it sucks. It doesn''t sound like there''s any way around it since his bosses have mandated that he pick up her slack. Employers have become so afraid of a lawsuit that they will bend to a woman''s will in many cases, ESPECIALLY when there''s maternity leave involved. Quite honestly, I think that women like her are the reason that women get paid less than men in the workforce.

 

[basil]

He''s a physician (doing a fellowship program).

Not only does he have to take her calls before she even has the baby, he has to cover her day shifts for several weeks after she actually has it. He''s supposed to have 6 months of protected time to do research (get publications, build his resume, etc.). Well he''s going to miss out on a bunch of it covering her time.

This girl''s fellowship is set to end 6/30/08. And she''s due mid-May. Couldn''t she have just waited a month? Come on.

 

[Kaleigh]

My question is why is all this falling on him?? Can''t it be shared by other''s??

 

[basil]

Because he''s the only fellow with scheduled research time during those months. Everyone else will already be working, and therefore not able to pick up the extra time.

Basically, he (we) just got screwed.

 

[KimberlyH]

Do his bosses'' have bosses that can be spoken to? What about speaking to Human Resources/Personnel. The laws exist to protect all employees rights, not just pregnant women.

 

[icekid]

Basil,

That''s terrible and so disappointing! People like that make residencies worry about taking female applicants and it sucks. Not to mention that you guys are clearly getting screwed over. Is this your FI''s last year of his fellowship at least?

And I meant to answer this before- but I am a 4th year med student, applying for ophtho now!! Exciting and scary Any tips/ advice?!?!

 

[poptart]

I would definitely tell your FI to go as high up as he can to remedy this. It just doesn''t seem right. Women like that just drive me nuts. They think they deserve to get people bending over all different which ways for them just because they didn''t plan better. Gah!

*M*

 

[somethingshiny]

Here''s a thought on the other side. While I understand your disappointment and resentment, she may be doing this for her health. Is she a high risk patient, has she had miscarriages, etc? She may just be trying to be proactive in taking care of herself during this pregnancy. It''s a shame that so much work fall on you and hubby, though.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 9/18/2007 10:55:35 PM
Author: somethingshiny
Here''s a thought on the other side. While I understand your disappointment and resentment, she may be doing this for her health. Is she a high risk patient, has she had miscarriages, etc? She may just be trying to be proactive in taking care of herself during this pregnancy. It''s a shame that so much work fall on you and hubby, though.

If any of the scenarios you offered are true she has an obligation to herself and her unborn child to take a medical or personal leave of absence, a protection provided to her by law, but she is opting to continue to work, only at a schedule that is convenient to her. Totally unacceptable.

 

[somethingshiny]

I agree (In fact, that''s what I had to do myself) However, even if these scenarios are true, that doesn''t mean she''s a kind or caring person. SHe may just want to get paid for someone else doing her work while she takes it easy.

 

[asscherisme]

I am shocked they are letting her have 3 months off. When my husband was doing his fellowship, there was one other fellow in the program with him and she got pregnant. They told her 4 weeks off or lose her place in the program. My husband was really lucky because she had an amazing work ethic and returned to work after just 3 weeks. I totally feel for your fiancee (and you for not seeing him). Medical training is hard enough, I just can''t imagine them making him cover for her for 3 full months? Something does not sound right there. Also, doesn''t their attending make the call schedule? Why is she able to pick when she takes calls or not? Things must have changed a lot since my husband was in training (its been many years).

 

[basil]

He tried to appeal to another boss, but they basically said that since she was pregnant, they were just going to let her do what she wanted to, and he was lucky that she is taking any of his calls at all this fall, sorry, but he''s SOL, just suck it up. It''s unbelievable.

She''s not taking a full 3 months off - she''s taking 3 months off of call (working weekdays), plus whatever she''s taking fully off when she actually has the baby, which will be less than the 6 weeks required by law. Because by taking 6 weeks off in a row during medical training, one is forced to make up the time by extending the training, which she is trying to get out of doing.

Icekid - Ophtho is awesome and I''m really pleased with my decision. Just don''t end up in a residency far from your fiance/husband cause it sucks. Oh, and do an easy internship. That''s my only advise. Good luck with the match - it''s a tough one!

 

[gailrmv]

Basil, this really stinks. I understand if an emergency comes up, people have to cover eachother, but this is known about months in advance... it seems like she should have to take a medical leave and come back. Is she really going to spring forth from the labor and delivery suite and back to work? That doesn''t seem feasible, or good for her or baby''s health. I am surprised that anyone is going for that plan? I can only hope she will reconsider as the date gets closer. It is really unfair to your FI!

 

[drk]

Wow Basil, I can''t believe how awful this is for you and your DH. Don''t they think anyone else has any rights at all? She''s also bloody ridiculous to refuse to cover his weekend or Thanksgiving call this fall if she really expects him to cover everything for her next spring when he''s not assigned to clinical duty.

I''m so glad I''m in residency in Ontario and am protected by a very strong contract between the resident association and the hospitals. If I get pregnant, there''s no call for me after 32wks, and I can take 17wks pregnancy leave and 18wks mat leave (I think), though I would have to make up time later on. Supposedly "exceptional" residents are able to take up to 3 months off any program without needing to make up time, at the discretion of their program director. And even if I did have to make up the time, if my program director thought I was clinically ready to take the licensing exam, I''d be able to take it with my classmates and thus able to go into independent practice after finishing the extra training, rather than having to wait a full year to do the exam. We also have maximums on call frequency (1 in 4 in house, 1 in 3 home call, 2 full weekends off each month), and research time truly is protected. (http://www.pairo.org/Content/Default.aspx?pg=1003 if you guys are interested in details of our contract).

I think it''s absolutely ridiculous that she be able to do this. At the very least, they should be paying him a good bonus for each call shift or day he has to work on her behalf next spring. "Fly-in" residents who are hired to fill gaps in the call schedule around here get a pretty good stipend, I hear.

Don''t you have a resident/fellow association that would be able to fight to protect your FI''s rights in this situation? I hope things get worked out more to your satisfaction.

Kate