The wedding date-- advice please!

[asymons412]

So, originally SO and I decided that September 1st 2012 would be a perfect timeframe to have our outdoor wedding; it's just shy of 1.5 years from our engagement (we already live together, so no point in putting it off for too long!), it comes off the heels of summer so it should be starting to cool down but still be nice outside. For frame of reference, our wedding is on Eastern Long Island (NY) and will have an outdoor ceremony (probably around 11:30am) and outdoor cocktail hour-- the reception will be indoors.

Lately, we've been wondering if the end of May would be a nicer time of year for the outdoor festivities. Unfortunately, both of us agree that May 2012 is too close-- which puts May 25, 2013 as our candidate. However, we both feel that 2 years is a little long to wait considering how long we have been together, and the year that we've lived under the same roof (which would be 3 years by then!). I should also mention that I would have a hard time waiting to begin planning in full-swing; I've already begun!

But, May is almost guaranteed to be beautiful and of course has less chance for humidity.

I guess my question is-- first, does anyone have any input? I'm asking family, friends, strangers on the street (well not quite)-- both FI and I (clearly not the most decisive couple in the world) can't reach a solid decision! We've discussed it so many times and keep going back and forth-- September because the timing is perfect (and an anniversary on the 1st of the month would be pretty cool), and May because it's a guaranteed outdoor winner... but it is awful far! If anyone has lived in NY/on Long Island, or just has general recommendations on selecting a month or timeframe, it would be greatly appreciated!

For the record, I do find the chapel at our venue-to-be extremely beautiful and wouldn't be hopelessly crushed if we had to have an indoor ceremony, which is a consideration. But I do want the day to be lovely and prefer the outdoors, which I'm sure you can all understand! Any and all advice is appreciated!

 

[merilenda]

Only you two really know what's right and best for you! But I'll give you my opinion since you asked.

I would either go with your September date for next year or if you really want May as the time of year, push it up to May 2012. A year is plenty of time to plan for a wedding. I've been engaged for nearly a year now (since June 2010) and FI and I didn't start planning a single thing until last month. Granted, we're having a very small ceremony and won't require as much planning as many weddings, but still. We set a date, booked our venue, bought wedding rings, and bought my dress all in one week (I knew which dress I wanted because I had gone dress shopping several weeks prior). Oh and we're getting married in September of this year, so we didn't start planning until about 5 months out.

To be honest, after being engaged for close to a year, FI and I are just ready to be married already. We'll be getting married after being engaged for 15 months (to the day). My thought is that by the time this time next year rolls around, you're going to be getting antsy to have the wedding and be married, and if you push it back to 2013, you'll still have another year ahead of you!

 

[slg47]

what Merilenda said...either May 2012 or Sept 2012.

 

[sillyberry]

what Merilenda said...either May 2012 or Sept 2012.

I think the wedding would be lovely in either May or September, so I wouldn't worry about that too much.

We will have been engaged about 9 months when the wedding rolls around and I AM SO FREAKING READY TO BE MARRIED. You should have time to book the big things a year in advance and then you won't be wondering why you're engaged for forever. I know some people have long engagements and are thrilled with it, but...I would not be one of them.

 

[vc10um]

what Merilenda said...either May 2012 or Sept 2012.

I think the wedding would be lovely in either May or September, so I wouldn't worry about that too much.

We will have been engaged about 9 months when the wedding rolls around and I AM SO FREAKING READY TO BE MARRIED. You should have time to book the big things a year in advance and then you won't be wondering why you're engaged for forever. I know some people have long engagements and are thrilled with it, but...I would not be one of them.

I'm going to have to agree. May or September will both be lovely. I am six weeks out from my wedding. My FI and I have lived together for two years now. It has felt like we have been married since the day he proposed, and I just want it to be OFFICIAL. I now understand why some people elope! It's not because it's more private. It's not because it's easier. It's because you're just SO READY TO BE MARRIED and you want to do it NOW!

So May 2012 is PLENTY of time to plan. September 2012 is MORE than enough time. May 2013 is torturing yourself.

 

[asymons412]

Thanks all, I think I just needed to have someone tell me that May 2013 is too long to wait, and that I'm not an over-zealous bride-to-be! I think we're going to stick with September. Unfortunately FI likes to take his time and still wasn't keen on the May 2012 idea... oh well! worth a shot!

I appreciate the advice very much.

 

[CourtLynB]

Hi! Fellow LIer here and also from the East End (south shore)

If you don't mind me asking, where are you going to have the wedding? Honestly, I think you're better off with the September date. Since you'll be doing parts of it outside, I think you'll have a better shot of it being warm and sunny.

Look at the May we've had already. We did get some rain but it hasn't been overly warm. I'm having my engagement party tomorrow and I'm praying that it gets above 60 and the rain stays away. And it's not even outside!

FI and I were also going to do a September 2012 wedding, around the weekend after Labor Day (well, we have a seasonal business and it would have been easier for my parents) but I always wanted July, so we pushed it up to July. And our ceremony is outside, cocktail under an open tent and then an indoor reception with an outdoor after party.

 

[Anonymous]

I vote May of 2012! We will have had a 14 month engagement by the time we're married and I'd like to echo the "I'M READY TO BE MARRIED NOW!!!" sentiments. A year is plenty of time to plan, as long as you're organized and your venue's open/nothing too crazy to plan around.

 

[asymons412]

Hi! Fellow LIer here and also from the East End (south shore)

If you don't mind me asking, where are you going to have the wedding? Honestly, I think you're better off with the September date. Since you'll be doing parts of it outside, I think you'll have a better shot of it being warm and sunny.

Look at the May we've had already. We did get some rain but it hasn't been overly warm. I'm having my engagement party tomorrow and I'm praying that it gets above 60 and the rain stays away. And it's not even outside!

FI and I were also going to do a September 2012 wedding, around the weekend after Labor Day (well, we have a seasonal business and it would have been easier for my parents) but I always wanted July, so we pushed it up to July. And our ceremony is outside, cocktail under an open tent and then an indoor reception with an outdoor after party.

Yay! Well, I actually live in Arizona at the moment (but I'm from the north shore!) which is why it's been so difficult for me to gauge the weather! I'm only out here a year, but I feel like I can't remember what the weather feels like on LI.

We're having the wedding in Smithtown at the Watermill. I *thought* September would be an ideal time, but I couldn't be sure! It's encouraging to know that based on the weather now, I can bank on September being a little warmer. Thank you for the reassurance!

Enjoy your engagement party! Hopefully the weather will turn gorgeous!

 

[asymons412]

I vote May of 2012! We will have had a 14 month engagement by the time we're married and I'd like to echo the "I'M READY TO BE MARRIED NOW!!!" sentiments. A year is plenty of time to plan, as long as you're organized and your venue's open/nothing too crazy to plan around.

I think FI is misjudging the amount of time between now and next September... but I do feel like I might need the buffer months to plan this wedding from across the continent! We'll see!

 

[Amys Bling]

what Merilenda said...either May 2012 or Sept 2012.

totally agree, I think you will find a two year engagement to be too long...

 

[confusedaisy]

FH and I were originally looking to do September but ultimately I didn't want to wait that long and knew everything could be done in a year so we started looking at May/June. It took a tiny bit of convincing but we sat down with the list of what needed to get done and that made him feel better once he realized that it was doable. My only concern for you would be that if you decide to do next may, you need to book ASAP as things are already filling up fast!! Good luck and let us know once you decide.

 

[CourtLynB]

Hi! Fellow LIer here and also from the East End (south shore)

If you don't mind me asking, where are you going to have the wedding? Honestly, I think you're better off with the September date. Since you'll be doing parts of it outside, I think you'll have a better shot of it being warm and sunny.

Look at the May we've had already. We did get some rain but it hasn't been overly warm. I'm having my engagement party tomorrow and I'm praying that it gets above 60 and the rain stays away. And it's not even outside!

FI and I were also going to do a September 2012 wedding, around the weekend after Labor Day (well, we have a seasonal business and it would have been easier for my parents) but I always wanted July, so we pushed it up to July. And our ceremony is outside, cocktail under an open tent and then an indoor reception with an outdoor after party.

Yay! Well, I actually live in Arizona at the moment (but I'm from the north shore!) which is why it's been so difficult for me to gauge the weather! I'm only out here a year, but I feel like I can't remember what the weather feels like on LI.

We're having the wedding in Smithtown at the Watermill. I *thought* September would be an ideal time, but I couldn't be sure! It's encouraging to know that based on the weather now, I can bank on September being a little warmer. Thank you for the reassurance!

Enjoy your engagement party! Hopefully the weather will turn gorgeous!

Oh, the Watermill is lovely. My old company used to have their Christmas party there, top notch service all around.

My e-party went off very well. The weather didn't really cooperate (overcast, rained later in the day, windy), but we didn't plan on it being outside. We were going to, but all the places on the water were wayyyy too much money. Plus the date fell right around communions and graduations.


I'm even farther east than that, my wedding is going to be in Westhampton.

Let me know if you have other wedding related LI questions. Happy to help!