somethingshiny|1305678497|2924401 said:Those are things people ALWAYS tell you.
What they don't tell you is that one person cannot fulfill all your wants, needs, hopes, and dreams. So don't expect them too.
Pandora~ You're one of the few people I've met who says that marriage didn't change the relationship much after living together. Most people I know equate it to the person who says, "I have a puppy so I'm completely prepared to be a parent."
somethingshiny|1305678497|2924401 said:Those are things people ALWAYS tell you.
What they don't tell you is that one person cannot fulfill all your wants, needs, hopes, and dreams. So don't expect them too.
Pandora~ You're one of the few people I've met who says that marriage didn't change the relationship much after living together. Most people I know equate it to the person who says, "I have a puppy so I'm completely prepared to be a parent."
somethingshiny|1305678497|2924401 said:Pandora~ You're one of the few people I've met who says that marriage didn't change the relationship much after living together. Most people I know equate it to the person who says, "I have a puppy so I'm completely prepared to be a parent."
Elrohwen|1305723633|2924718 said:somethingshiny|1305678497|2924401 said:Pandora~ You're one of the few people I've met who says that marriage didn't change the relationship much after living together. Most people I know equate it to the person who says, "I have a puppy so I'm completely prepared to be a parent."
I've been married for a year and a half and feel the same as Pandora. We lived together for over three years before the wedding and I honestly don't feel like anything has changed. There was a slight adjustment when we first moved in together, but none when we married. We had already acted like a married couple for a few years, so it wasn't a change.
I agree with the others that the article doesn't really say anything that was a revelation for my own marriage, though it's good advice for people who didn't live together or make financial decisions before marriage.
Black Jade|1305732624|2924816 said:that's interesting.
From people who lived together before marriage I always heard that actually being married was quite different because the edge of the insecurity (especially for the woman) was gone. And that relationships with in-laws and so forth changed (sometimes quite a lot) and that sometimes it was better and sometimes it was worse but that the two people relaxed more with each other now that the relationship had become permanent, as opposed to being sort of in the'trial ' stage and feeling tested.
I wonder why it didn't change so much for you guys.
Were you already very secure (if I were living with someone I think I would always have a fear they might leave me, adn I think I would especially be afraid of this if I had been in other live in relationships that didn't work out) or are you not actually completely secure now (divorce being a possibility in our society, too, though still somewhat harder to do than jsut moving out).
I'm honestly asking. I have no experience with this and also don't know many people who live together--so I cna't ask them (plus it might be embarrassing if I asked--they might think I was being judgmental, which I'm not).
Black Jade|1305732624|2924816 said:that's interesting.
From people who lived together before marriage I always heard that actually being married was quite different because the edge of the insecurity (especially for the woman) was gone. And that relationships with in-laws and so forth changed (sometimes quite a lot) and that sometimes it was better and sometimes it was worse but that the two people relaxed more with each other now that the relationship had become permanent, as opposed to being sort of in the'trial ' stage and feeling tested.
I wonder why it didn't change so much for you guys.
Were you already very secure (if I were living with someone I think I would always have a fear they might leave me, adn I think I would especially be afraid of this if I had been in other live in relationships that didn't work out) or are you not actually completely secure now (divorce being a possibility in our society, too, though still somewhat harder to do than jsut moving out).
I'm honestly asking. I have no experience with this and also don't know many people who live together--so I cna't ask them (plus it might be embarrassing if I asked--they might think I was being judgmental, which I'm not).
Black Jade|1305732624|2924816 said:that's interesting.
From people who lived together before marriage I always heard that actually being married was quite different because the edge of the insecurity (especially for the woman) was gone. And that relationships with in-laws and so forth changed (sometimes quite a lot) and that sometimes it was better and sometimes it was worse but that the two people relaxed more with each other now that the relationship had become permanent, as opposed to being sort of in the'trial ' stage and feeling tested.
I wonder why it didn't change so much for you guys.
Were you already very secure (if I were living with someone I think I would always have a fear they might leave me, adn I think I would especially be afraid of this if I had been in other live in relationships that didn't work out) or are you not actually completely secure now (divorce being a possibility in our society, too, though still somewhat harder to do than jsut moving out).
I'm honestly asking. I have no experience with this and also don't know many people who live together--so I cna't ask them (plus it might be embarrassing if I asked--they might think I was being judgmental, which I'm not).
Black Jade|1305732624|2924816 said:that's interesting.
From people who lived together before marriage I always heard that actually being married was quite different because the edge of the insecurity (especially for the woman) was gone. And that relationships with in-laws and so forth changed (sometimes quite a lot) and that sometimes it was better and sometimes it was worse but that the two people relaxed more with each other now that the relationship had become permanent, as opposed to being sort of in the'trial ' stage and feeling tested.
I wonder why it didn't change so much for you guys.
Were you already very secure (if I were living with someone I think I would always have a fear they might leave me, adn I think I would especially be afraid of this if I had been in other live in relationships that didn't work out) or are you not actually completely secure now (divorce being a possibility in our society, too, though still somewhat harder to do than jsut moving out).
I'm honestly asking. I have no experience with this and also don't know many people who live together--so I cna't ask them (plus it might be embarrassing if I asked--they might think I was being judgmental, which I'm not).