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The Teapot and The Boots

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whitby_2773

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As some of you may know, I''m a dispute resolution psychologist who recently turned author. I wrote the following small piece recently after spending some time observing an emotionally abusive relationship between a man and a woman. After reading some fairly personal posts from women here, I wondered if any PS''ers might relate to it, so thought I''d put it up.

I hope it means something for someone here and even inspires someone to perhaps make a positive life change.

Blessings to you all.



The Teacup and The Boots.


“I love you!” said the teacup joyfully.

“Hey! Not so loud,” said the boots.

“I’m sorry,” said the teacup. Then as gently and softly as it could, “I love you.”

“Well,” said the boots, “I love you too.”

“You do? You love me?” asked the teacup, amazed and starry eyed.

“I do. I love you. Deeply and passionately. I love you forever. But I need to warn you – I have been wounded. Be gentle with me.”

“I will, oh I will!” said the teacup, sidling up and leaning in close.

“I love you so much, I just want to be with you all the time! I just can’t get close enough to you!” said the boots.

“I’m so glad,” said the teacup, slightly muffled. “But do you think you could move away a little? I can’t breathe…”

“Don’t you WANT me?” demanded the boots, hurt.

“Of COURSE I do!” said the teacup, appalled. “Of course I do!”

“So what are you saying? That I’m stupid for wanting to be so close? That you love me – but that you don’t really want me? Hurrrrumph!” said the boots, and turned to storm away.

“Ouch!” said the teacup. “You stepped on me! I…I think I’m cracked…”

“Stop blaming me for the size of my shoes! And besides, I think I cut my foot!”

“Oh! I’m sorry! Here, let me bandage it.”

“Ow! Softer! Softer! You’re doing it wrong and you’re hurting me!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, I’m still cracked.”

“So I suppose I’m a terrible person – that’s what you’re saying.”

“Not at all! Here – let me give you some of my tea. Perhaps you’ll feel better?”

“I’m a pair of boots! What would I do with tea? Now a saucer I could use! How about you give me your saucer?”

“But..but…I only have one saucer. And all the teacups have saucers….”

“You don’t love me. I knew you didn’t.”

I love you! I do love you! Here – have my saucer – I want you to have it!”

“Well, thank you,” said the boots, slightly mollified. “You sure crack easily.”

“I do. I’m a bit fragile. I was made that way,” said the teacup.

“Well, we’re all fragile! At least people don’t pick you up and drag you around by your tongue! If I had a handle like you, I would be much more robust. You know, if you truly loved me, you’d give me your handle.”

“But if I give you my handle, I will barely be a teacup anymore,” said the teacup sadly.

“Of course you will! And perhaps if you give me your handle, you’ll remember that you’re supposed to love me more than all the other boots or teacups or anything. Besides, if I have your saucer, and your handle, then we’ll be truly one.”

“Oh…oh, I see. I so want you to know that I love you, but I don’t think I can break off my handle…”

“Your handle is ugly, why would you want it anyway? It’s just a stupid handle. I don’t want it anymore”

“It’s ugly?” asked the teacup, tea dripping from its cracks.

“Hideous,” said the boots, turning away.

“Then I don’t want it either. I want to be beautiful for you,” said the teacup, and tore its handle away.

The boots said nothing and didn’t seem to notice the tea now pouring from the teacup.

“Hey! Look over there! There’s lots of other teacups!”

“You want other teacups?”

“Well, it would be rude not to be friendly, and besides, I’ve known them longer than you. Let’s go over and visit!”

“I once was friendly with other boots too,” said the teacup. “I’d love to share them with you…”

“YOU WHAT???” bellowed the boots.

“I’m not any more – I’m not! I’ve been looking for boots all of my own! Boots that wanted just me. I think I’ve been looking for you. I love you.”

“You’ve broken my heart! How can you pretend you love me when all you want is to hold tea and have a handle and a saucer, when you won’t truly share yourself with me, when everyone loves you but nobody loves me…well, except you…and a few other measly teacups… But this is just a game to you!”

“It’s not a game! It’s not!” cried the teacup as the shadow of the boots loomed above its head.

“I LOVE you and you don’t love ME!” screamed the boots as they smashed down on the teacup, splitting it into broken pieces, its tea running away. “I’m leaving! You let me know when you decide you love me!” said the boots, and stomped off over the hill and away in the direction of the other teacups.

“I love you,” whispered the teacup.

“I love you.”
 
I feel sad for the teacup.
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I know my hormones are nuts, but how SAD. Gah, it made me cry, poor teacup
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Poor teacup.
 
Wow, that''s such a sad story. You wrote this? It''s really good. It really describes what goes on in an emotionally abusive relationship without overdramatizing it. It''s subtle, yet powerful.
 
Date: 1/17/2010 6:41:26 PM
Author: Kitcha
Wow, that''s such a sad story. You wrote this? It''s really good. It really describes what goes on in an emotionally abusive relationship without overdramatizing it. It''s subtle, yet powerful.

thanks kitcha, yes i did. and all domestic abuse is tragic. so often the victim tries harder and harder, not realizing that their very effort is just fueling the problem. sometimes an analogy is useful in getting things in perspective...

i believe it takes a huge amount of strength and a degree of heroism to leave the cycle of abuse.
 
Oh..I''m sad for the teacup. It took me a long time to realize my handle is beautiful, and now I have a husband who loves my handle too!
 
Wonderful poem Whitby.
 
whitby you really have a beautiful writting style - your story made me think and also a little a sad unfortunetly there are a lot of boots and teacups in this world
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Thank you for posting your writing Whitby. May I have permission to use it with a group of teenage girls I meet with to discuss healthy relationships?
 
I'm not quite sure why I'm crying, but I am (and it began after reading only the first 5 lines). I feel so bad for the teacup. I love it Whitby -- thanks for sharing it!
 
I have tears in my eyes. It is so sad, and I know it is true in relationships. I can''t imagine what it must be like for you to talk to people in relationships like this all the time. It is heartbreaking thinking about a teacup, much less a person.
 
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but so beautifully written!
 
Date: 1/18/2010 8:22:41 AM
Author: swimmer
Thank you for posting your writing Whitby. May I have permission to use it with a group of teenage girls I meet with to discuss healthy relationships?

absolutely, swimmer. i wrote it to try to encapsulate the unhealthiness of what i was seeing in a particular relationship - sort of ''get it onto paper and get it out of my head'' sort of thing, so it''s a personal piece of writing, unpublished, but occasionally shared. pls feel free to use it; just pls use it in the spirit that it''s meant.

manipulation is only powerful because it remains unidentified. somehow substituting teacups and boots makes it easier to see, and perhaps to extrapolate for someone in a relationship like this. and there''s plenty, don''t you think?
 
Date: 1/18/2010 12:19:22 AM
Author: packrat
Oh..I''m sad for the teacup. It took me a long time to realize my handle is beautiful, and now I have a husband who loves my handle too!

exactly. EXACTLY! yay you!
 
Wow Whitby. Very powerful and moving. I have known a few "teacups" and "boots" in my life...
 
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Stupid boots... poor teacup.

I love this whitby

and I wish you''d follow up with the boots who piece that teacup back together again... because there is a pair that does so I think
 
Date: 1/18/2010 11:32:59 AM
Author: dragonfly411
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Stupid boots... poor teacup.

I love this whitby

and I wish you''d follow up with the boots who piece that teacup back together again... because there is a pair that does so I think

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.

 
Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM
Author: princesss
Date: 1/18/2010 11:32:59 AM

Author: dragonfly411

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Stupid boots... poor teacup.


I love this whitby


and I wish you''d follow up with the boots who piece that teacup back together again... because there is a pair that does so I think

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.


indeed, princess. :)
 
Whitby, I loved it!
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My first marriage was exactly like this . . . I was a teacup, and he was a pair of boots. Fortunately, I got out of there before I got broken. I''m still a little cracked, but getting better every day, with a lot of help from DH (my teapot?) who is very understanding of what I went through.
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BTW, so glad to have you back!!! ((((HUGS))))
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Oh, so beautiful Whitby. Have you published this anywhere? Because I'd love to own a copy to pass around to anyone I feel may need it.

ETA: Sorry, I just read your response to Swimmer. I hope you're okay with me printing out a copy as well.
 
Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM
Author: princesss
Date: 1/18/2010 11:32:59 AM

Author: dragonfly411

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Stupid boots... poor teacup.


I love this whitby


and I wish you''d follow up with the boots who piece that teacup back together again... because there is a pair that does so I think

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.



A good point
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Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM
Author: princesss

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.

I agree that an addendum would be apt. Just as the teacup is indeed putting herself back together, why who should reappear on the scene: Boots. Boots has had a change of heart ... can''t believe what he''s done ... is willing to do whatever it takes to lay his hands on the now reattached handle. Now what does the teacup do?
 
Date: 1/18/2010 2:37:54 PM
Author: decodelighted
Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM

Author: princesss

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.


I agree that an addendum would be apt. Just as the teacup is indeed putting herself back together, why who should reappear on the scene: Boots. Boots has had a change of heart ... can''t believe what he''s done ... is willing to do whatever it takes to lay his hands on the now reattached handle. Now what does the teacup do?


Ignore.... not even look at the boots... not give the boots the time of day.
 
Lovely, thank you for sharing. I feel so sad, though!
 
That was beautiful Whitby.
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Oh Whitby. That is so sad. The poor teacup must be exhausted. But in a way it can be so lovely to read at the same time...that sounds strange, but you probably came across it all the time in psychology - the relief of finding out that you're not the only one to go though what you're going through. Not so much that misery loves company, more the realisation that there isn't something wrong with you, that others have come through stronger and you will too. The road has been paved and there's help along the way, yanno?

There are boots everywhere, and it is surprisingly easy to become a teacup, even for those that thought they were strong, confident etc. Those that would have thought being a teacup wasn't possible for them. Maybe if enough of us pass on this little story, it will become a fable. A really valuable lesson in what to look out for.

Thank you for posting that.
 
Date: 1/18/2010 2:37:54 PM
Author: decodelighted
Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM

Author: princesss

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.


I agree that an addendum would be apt. Just as the teacup is indeed putting herself back together, why who should reappear on the scene: Boots. Boots has had a change of heart ... can't believe what he's done ... is willing to do whatever it takes to lay his hands on the now reattached handle. Now what does the teacup do?
Oooh yes!
 
Whitby~ Your teacup and boots as the characters are truly inspired. The frailty of a little teacup and the dominance of boots just in general thinking is quite appropriate for this message. Well done.
 
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