The Teapot and The Boots

[D&T]

Whitby!!! sooo beautifully written. Sad story but hopefully many can relate to it. You truly have a gift my friend.

 

[Scorpioanne]

Hi Whitby, I spent 20 years working with women who had experienced violence and abuse and I have to say you have captured the experiences of those women extremely well. Well done, this will be a fabulous teaching tool!

 

[kas baby]

Whitby, your story was very well written, IMO.
It definitely shows the insecurities on both sides. I feel that a lot of abuse arises from that lack of self. People lack that identity with themselves, like the boots, and latch on to other people (the teacup) to form that identity. So when that person/persons start to change, it becomes a threat to the identity, they may become aggressive and manipulative in order to try and maintain the image of themselves they have through the eyes of that other person. It''s sad when people don''t have their own confidence in themselves to stand alone. Like they say, people will tear others down just to build themselves up.

...at least, that was what the piece made me think. I feel that each individual who comes across this piece will be able to see something in it and learn. very moving. you did good!

 

[Mara]

Date: 1/18/2010 2:37:54 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM

Author: princesss

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.

I agree that an addendum would be apt. Just as the teacup is indeed putting herself back together, why who should reappear on the scene: Boots. Boots has had a change of heart ... can't believe what he's done ... is willing to do whatever it takes to lay his hands on the now reattached handle. Now what does the teacup do?

oh yes and from my experience in seeing this...the boots always show back up again. grass is always greener until OOPS it's not. but things rarely change, boots are still boots even with a little shine.

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 1/18/2010 7:41:57 PM
Author: Porridge
Oh Whitby. That is so sad. The poor teacup must be exhausted. But in a way it can be so lovely to read at the same time...that sounds strange, but you probably came across it all the time in psychology - the relief of finding out that you're not the only one to go though what you're going through. Not so much that misery loves company, more the realisation that there isn't something wrong with you, that others have come through stronger and you will too. The road has been paved and there's help along the way, yanno?


There are boots everywhere, and it is surprisingly easy to become a teacup, even for those that thought they were strong, confident etc. Those that would have thought being a teacup wasn't possible for them. Maybe if enough of us pass on this little story, it will become a fable. A really valuable lesson in what to look out for.


Thank you for posting that.

i agree, porridge. it's surprisingly easy to become a teacup - and even easier to fall in with a pair of boots. boots look for teacups, and can do an excellent job convincing a teacup they're anything other than a pair of boots!

the boots are definitely the bully and the perpetrator here. and yet there's nothing done to the teacup which it couldn't refuse or walk away from. it gives away it's own saucer, tears off its own handle, is slow to recognize the boots for what they are. if the teacup had a better sense of who it was - someone with a beautiful saucer, a precious handle, and someone with both the responsibility and strength to protect itself - it would be immune to most of the boots' wiles and arguments.

teacups are breakable - but they're stronger than they know.

there's no follow up to this story. the boots do not come back, apologetic or changed. the teacup does not heal itself. this is a story of what to *avoid*. the resolution is something we have to find for ourselves, teach our children, represent to our mothers, our sisters, our friends.

irishgrrrl i LOVED what you said - and i'm so pleased you found your teapot. you *are* the happy ending to this story.

 

[that_someone_special]

Does the tea cup ever say "OK BOOTS, AT LEAST I DON''T HAVE LACES THAT ARE RATTY AND GROSS!"

.... what does it mean if ms. tea cup wants to fight back?

 

[Porridge]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:21:57 AM
Author: swedish bean
Does the tea cup ever say 'OK BOOTS, AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE LACES THAT ARE RATTY AND GROSS!'


.... what does it mean if ms. tea cup wants to fight back?

The boots get very upset, and say "you don't love me, I'm so hurt, and what about that time last week when you said that the food in that restaurant tasted like rubber, yeah I didn't say anything at the time but that was so insulting, you KNOW my soles are made of rubber, I mentioned two years ago on a Thursday that I like my rubber soles, you are so insensitive for not remembering. It's one of many times you show how insensitive you are. People have noticed it you know."

And it continues to spiral, and shoot off in different directions, so that logical discussion is entirely impossible. It doesn't matter what teacup says!

Of course, the boots are soon sorry. They know they overreacted. They will work on that issue. If teacup works on its "insensitivity" issue.

 

[Porridge]

Date: 1/19/2010 5:09:51 AM
Author: whitby_2773

Date: 1/18/2010 7:41:57 PM

Author: Porridge

Oh Whitby. That is so sad. The poor teacup must be exhausted. But in a way it can be so lovely to read at the same time...that sounds strange, but you probably came across it all the time in psychology - the relief of finding out that you're not the only one to go though what you're going through. Not so much that misery loves company, more the realisation that there isn't something wrong with you, that others have come through stronger and you will too. The road has been paved and there's help along the way, yanno?



There are boots everywhere, and it is surprisingly easy to become a teacup, even for those that thought they were strong, confident etc. Those that would have thought being a teacup wasn't possible for them. Maybe if enough of us pass on this little story, it will become a fable. A really valuable lesson in what to look out for.



Thank you for posting that.

i agree, porridge. it's surprisingly easy to become a teacup - and even easier to fall in with a pair of boots. boots look for teacups, and can do an excellent job convincing a teacup they're anything other than a pair of boots!


the boots are definitely the bully and the perpetrator here. and yet there's nothing done to the teacup which it couldn't refuse or walk away from. it gives away it's own saucer, tears off its own handle, is slow to recognize the boots for what they are. if the teacup had a better sense of who it was - someone with a beautiful saucer, a precious handle, and someone with both the responsibility and strength to protect itself - it would be immune to most of the boots' wiles and arguments.


teacups are breakable - but they're stronger than they know.


there's no follow up to this story. the boots do not come back, apologetic or changed. the teacup does not heal itself. this is a story of what to *avoid*. the resolution is something we have to find for ourselves, teach our children, represent to our mothers, our sisters, our friends.


irishgrrrl i LOVED what you said - and i'm so pleased you found your teapot. you *are* the happy ending to this story.

Spot on Whitby. Walking away, loving and protecting yourself is in our power. And how empowering it is.

Yay to you Irishgrrrl!! I hope many teacups read this and are inspired by you.

Teacups ARE strong. And pretty darn fabulous.

Boots are boots. Boots are masters of disguise. Boots are gifted at convincing the rest of the world that they are not boots at all. Maybe some change. Maybe. But probably not. And probably the teacup gets shattered along the way.

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 1/18/2010 11:46:59 AM
Author: princesss

Date: 1/18/2010 11:32:59 AM
Author: dragonfly411

Stupid boots... poor teacup.

I love this whitby

and I wish you'd follow up with the boots who piece that teacup back together again... because there is a pair that does so I think

Perhaps the teacup puts itself back together, and ends up stronger for it.

I believe that is the optimum outcome to the story princess. It's the teacup who must put herself (yes, I gave her a gender) back together again and she must establish strong boundaries for herself so she reduces the chance of being "broken" again by any sweet talking pair of boots.

Having been the teacup many times in my life, I can tell you that valuing yourself, thinking the utmost of yourself and establishing firm boundaries for the treatment you'll allow from other people is the only thing that works. I recently shared my experience with a wife in our group who had been left by her husband for the third time in 23 yrs. Over two months time, she got her head together, became stronger, finally vocalized what she would accept and what she wouldn't, and he moved back home before the holidays because he was very afraid of losing his teacup (who had developed a backbone).

It's a good teaching tool whitby. I enjoy your writings.

 

[Gailey]

You are a very wise woman Whitby, I''m so glad you''re back!

Love from the soup cup with two very large handles!

 

[rhbgirl24]

Date: 1/17/2010 11:42:50 PM
Author: whitby_2773

Date: 1/17/2010 6:41:26 PM

Author: Kitcha

Wow, that's such a sad story. You wrote this? It's really good. It really describes what goes on in an emotionally abusive relationship without overdramatizing it. It's subtle, yet powerful.

thanks kitcha, yes i did. and all domestic abuse is tragic. so often the victim tries harder and harder, not realizing that their very effort is just fueling the problem. sometimes an analogy is useful in getting things in perspective...


i believe it takes a huge amount of strength and a degree of heroism to leave the cycle of abuse.

Wow just wow. An awesome way to show how a relationship can tear you apart. I have a psych degree and I remember my first non-intro psych class - its was psychology of the abuser, taught by a man who worked with not the battered wife, but the men who did the battering. It was completely eye opening for me b/c my mother was in one of those relationships very early in life. Very neat to see it from the other side too.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[Bliss]

What a beautifully written story...and how sad. My heart aches for the poor teacup.

Maybe in the sequal the teacup meets her friend Mr. Hole Punch, who gives the boots some of its own medicine when they run into each other?

Or teacup learns some crazy martial arts and gets a new paint job to boost her self-esteem?

Brava, whitby. Missed you around here!

 

[purrfectpear]

This is why it''s good to be a tea cup with her OWN boots.

Tea cup: If you mistreat me I will boot you into the next county, and then I will use my boots to walk away from you!

 

[Porridge]

Date: 1/19/2010 12:08:45 PM
Author: purrfectpear
This is why it''s good to be a tea cup with her OWN boots.

Tea cup: If you mistreat me I will boot you into the next county, and then I will use my boots to walk away from you!

Haha. Steel tipped!