The setting or the stone? (partial rant)

[Ms_Lovely]

This is part vent and part cry for help after a rather disappointing encounter in RockyTalk

A little backstory...

I'm 29 and currently a stay at home mom (don't know when I'll be ready to let someone else care for my child ). My SO is great and works 7 days a week-we get by-but it's barely enough some months. We've been together for 9 years and are now putting everything into saving for a house and college education for our precious kiddo(s). So, we've got $2000 saved for a ring (we can swing $2500 but I'd rather put as much as possible toward the wedding as the budget is super low for that as well). I'm in love with the Tiffany RB Ribbon ring.

So here's my issue...

I found a setting that is very reminiscent of my dream ring (it's pretty but it does miss the Tiffany mark by a mile or two) for $1,100 on GOG. I thought I could get a better stone for my buck through other vendors I found via pricescope search. I really want a center stone in the .70-.75 range and the ones suggested by GOG were really not as good as the ones I had seen on the search engine in the $900-$1000 range. I've been asking for some advice on RockyTalk and have gotten some great suggestions. Lots of people have been really helpful but there seems to be a consensus that I'm being unreasonable or that my expectations are too high.

Most people seem to think that I should choose between a great setting or a great stone and upgrade later. Is it bad that I want a good setting and a good stone now? Maybe I'm just being too sensitive, but it feels like a lot of the comments aren't taking me seriously because of my budget. As if I should take whatever I can get or choose compromise away a setting that I would love to look at or a diamond that I would be glad to show my judgmental future SIL who doesn't know anything about diamonds anyway. I KNOW we are working with a shoestring budget. I UNDERSTAND I can't get anything close to a Tiffany setting or a Tiffany diamond. I can be okay with a unique setting that is pretty and a diamond that is 3/4 carat but faintly yellow and not super sparkly at every angle .

I've been waiting a long time for a ring you guys...painfully long. What do you think? Should I choose one or the other? Would you go for the stone or the setting or both?

 

[doberman]

IMO, definitely use your budget to get the stone. When you are ready to go back to work, you can start putting aside some $ to upgrade the setting for an anniversary.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

First, I'm sorry things are getting frustrated in your search. You most certainly deserve a fabulous ring that you LOVE! The thing is, if you're wanting something that is out of reach with your budget, you have to be realistic about it. (Way harder said than done, so please don't take this as judgement!) If you and PS have both searched for your setting and the size diamond you want and it just can't be done, it's time to ask yourself if you'd rather have the setting that you dream of and a smaller, sparkly center diamond, or the larger diamond you want, with a simpler setting. While you can certainly get a gorgeous diamond with the setting you love, it might not be possible to get the size you're after. Only you can decide what you're willing to give up in order to stay within your budget. Would you be ok if your budget gets you the setting you like, plus a gorgeous center that is slightly smaller? If not, maybe going with a different and less expensive setting can allow you to get the size you need. I think your budget can make a gorgeous ring, but it might not be able to be the size you'd like. At this point, is size the more important factor for you?

I'm still sad for you about your stupid SIL...the thing is, she is just a jerk and won't care if your ring is better than hers or not. She is just a brat lol...hugs on that!

 

[maccers]

I'm not familiar with your other thread but if some of the comments weren't helpful, is it because it's not what you want to hear or because the comments truly aren't helpful? Most (if not all) PS-ers want great value AND great quality with all their jewelry. So any advice saying that you should settle on either the best setting and upgrade the stone later (or vice versa), it's only because no one wants to see you get an average, yeah-its-okay stone and setting.

FWIW, a close friend of mine is shopping for her e-ring and has a budget of $1500. And she LOVES halos with a pave shank - that's expensive. She's decided she's going to put her money into the setting first and then upgrade the stone later. It's still going to be a challenge but she's at peace with the decision.

I'm not sure how much research or looking online you've done - there's always the off chance that you'll find what you're looking for on ebay or a pre-loved vendor. Or maybe you're totally okay with the GOG piece - if that's the case, then of course, buy it. Ultimately, you'll be wearing, not someone else.

 

[gem_anemone]

I glanced back at the thread you referred to just to get an idea what was going on. I think the PSr's don't think you can get a .7 carat diamond for under $1000 because it would be likely of poorer quality than they would bother to spend their money on. They would rather have an eye clean, ideal cut at .45 carat. This is Pricescope after all!

However, it is your ring and you should get what you want. I think the best advice they gave you in that thread was that the setting you want can be bought by any jeweler. So if I were you I would not limit myself to GOG or their stone selection. I would go to the vendor that had the stone I wanted that fit my budget and have it set in that setting. Don't forget there are taxes and possible shipping charges on your order.

 

[Ms_Lovely]

I found several acceptable stones(GIA.7+ K SI2 excellent symmetry) on the ps search. GOG had smaller, less clear options for the same prices. I've found options, but was told that I need to get the setting and the stone in the same place so that makes things more limited. Also, I would want to upgrade eventually but I think I'd like to hold out for the real Tiffany setting next time. Tha
t means I won't be able to use the diamond anyway.

 

[Harpertoo]

Ms_Lovely,
I read the earlier thread...or part of it.
I think posters are just trying to put themselves in your place and respond with how they would act.
Clearly there are differing opinions and priorities regarding stones and settings. If I were in your shoes, I'd look for a nice vintage ring. I don't expect you feel the same as I do, so I didn't bother to post earlier, but I think PSers are just trying to suggest options they're comfortable with.
Good luck in your search and I'm sure the vendors you reach out to will help also!

 

[gem_anemone]

I found several acceptable stones(GIA.7+ K SI2 excellent symmetry) on the ps search. GOG had smaller, less clear options for the same prices. I've found options, but was told that I need to get the setting and the stone in the same place so that makes things more limited. Also, I would want to upgrade eventually but I think I'd like to hold out for the real Tiffany setting next time. Tha
t means I won't be able to use the diamond anyway.

Did you ask GOG if they can get that stone?

 

[Ms_Lovely]

I found several acceptable stones(GIA.7+ K SI2 excellent symmetry) on the ps search. GOG had smaller, less clear options for the same prices. I've found options, but was told that I need to get the setting and the stone in the same place so that makes things more limited. Also, I would want to upgrade eventually but I think I'd like to hold out for the real Tiffany setting next time. Tha
t means I won't be able to use the diamond anyway.

Did you ask GOG if they can get that stone?

No, I didn't know that was an option?

 

[gem_anemone]

I found several acceptable stones(GIA.7+ K SI2 excellent symmetry) on the ps search. GOG had smaller, less clear options for the same prices. I've found options, but was told that I need to get the setting and the stone in the same place so that makes things more limited. Also, I would want to upgrade eventually but I think I'd like to hold out for the real Tiffany setting next time. Tha
t means I won't be able to use the diamond anyway.

Did you ask GOG if they can get that stone?

No, I didn't know that was an option?

From what I've gathered lots of jewelers have access to the same stones. I would send the lady at GOG the specs you're ok with and see what she can come up with. Good luck!

I also know some people on here (audball comes to mind) that had a stone already and had it set by the vendor. So I know you can do that some places.

 

[maccers]

I found several acceptable stones(GIA.7+ K SI2 excellent symmetry) on the ps search. GOG had smaller, less clear options for the same prices. I've found options, but was told that I need to get the setting and the stone in the same place so that makes things more limited. Also, I would want to upgrade eventually but I think I'd like to hold out for the real Tiffany setting next time. Tha
t means I won't be able to use the diamond anyway.

Did you ask GOG if they can get that stone?

No, I didn't know that was an option?

From what I've gathered lots of jewelers have access to the same stones. I would send the lady at GOG the specs you're ok with and see what she can come up with. Good luck!

I also know some people on here (audball comes to mind) that had a stone already and had it set by the vendor. So I know you can do that some places.

I too bought my e-ring stone from Jewels by Erica Grace (pre-loved) and had it set by my jeweller in a Tacori setting (still waiting for SO to propose with it though )

 

[tuffyluvr]

What about getting your dream setting and setting it with a "stone that cannot be mentioned" here? Not a CZ, but a m........ite? They're sparkly, and very pretty, IMO. You can get a .75-1ct for about $200-$300 and keep it in the setting until you can save enough to replace with the .75-1ct diamond you want.

Obviously it's your ring and the top priority is for you to be happy with it. If a lesser-quality diamond would make you happiest, go for it! Just make sure you see the stone in person, in different lighting and be certain that you love the way it looks. My only concern in this situation is that you might be disappointed by the stones lack of brilliance and may have difficulty selling or trading in the stone later if you decide to upgrade. So make sure you love it before you buy it.

I knew a girl whose priority was size. She wanted the biggest diamond she could get, and she got a huge diamond--it was at least 3-3.5ct. It was sort of milky and not sparkly, but she loved it because it was what she wanted: BIG! Not what you see here on PS, but so what?!? It made her happy and she loved it. The most important opinion is your own! Good luck!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Was going to reply, but I just saw your post in rockytalky!!!! Hope you get that stone

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Any updates??

 

[Chewbacca]

FancyPants, I believe a preloved stone has been bought, and a setting is being chosen!

 

[Ms_Lovely]

Any updates??

So, he picked up the stone today!!!!!!!!!!! I wasn't supposed to see it but I just had to get a look at her so I went Macgyver on the package and took a peek then sealed it back up...she's perfect,perfect, perfect

My honey is--I think--deciding between the Stuller ribbon setting and the Gabriel ribbon-ish setting which would have to be customized for a round stone. There is also the possibility that he might go with something completely different as he will be going to talk with some local jewelers as well. It's so exciting and completely nerve-wrecking (I'm one of those people who loves giving gifts but is uncomfortable receiving them; lives to surprise people but hates surprises )!

Also, I may have balanced the diamond on my ring finger and swooned over it for 10 minutes...there is also the possibility that I teared up

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

That is AWESOME!!! Congratulations on getting the stone and swooning all over that bad boy!

 

[pandabee]

Ahhhhhh that's so exciting!!! As it all should be. So excited how everything is coming together for you!!!

 

[SMC]

Argh, I just read this. I'm so happy that the stone is working out for you! You have to post lots and lots of pics here when you finally receive it. I think any setting will be awesome. I love blue fluoro in a stone (so you'll have to get some outdoors pics to showcase this , and ForteKitty said it was a high color.

 

[Ms_Lovely]

Argh, I just read this. I'm so happy that the stone is working out for you! You have to post lots and lots of pics here when you finally receive it. I think any setting will be awesome. I love blue fluoro in a stone (so you'll have to get some outdoors pics to showcase this , and ForteKitty said it was a high color.

It's everything she said it was! I can't believe we got such a bright stone for $850