The Just Barely Preggo Thread

[Dreamer_D]

Hey everyone!

As most of you probably know, there is currently a Trying to Conceive (TTC) thread and a Pregnant PSers thread. The sense of community on those threads is amazing and makes me really thankful for PS.

But having just "graduated" from the TTC thread I am finding that I am not yet ready to jump into the Preggo thread full-tilt, and I have heard other newly-preggo PSers express similar feelings. It seems that in these early weeks, it can be difficult to fully "embrace" the whole preggo thing, because many people choose to remain cautious during this early phase of pregnancy. It seems like the issues of very early pregnancy are unique, and for me at least, they seem very far removed from the issues I will be thinking about 3 - 6 months from now! I can''t wait to join that thread full-time, but right now it just seems to overwhelming!

On the other hand, although I feel a deep sense of connection with my TTC sisters after the harrowing TTC journey, I don''t want to make the TTC thread into some sort of "early preggo" thread. I know in the two months of unsuccessful TTC that I had, I actually found preggo talk kind of annoying/distressing/depressing... I know not everyone feels that way, but I am sure that some do!

So I thought that I would start a new thread called "The Just Barely Preggo Thread" where we can chat about issues specific to the very early months of pregnancy--strange feelings, anxieties, telling people the news, testing, etc etc etc. This way we can keep the TTC thread focused on TTC, but we can also talk about our early pregnancies without feeling overwhelmed/anxious about everything that will come in the future!

Everyone is welcome!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Here is my first thought... has anyone named their "baby" yet? We decided to call ours "Hoonan Banana" which is the joking name I threatened to give our first-born child, back when DH and I were first dating. We have ourselves in stitches when we say it, and it seems less scary/saccarine than saying "the baaaaybeeee"...

 

[Independent Gal]

Yes! We call ours The Cub.

 

[Dreamer_D]

The Cub, I like it... like a little bear. I think there is something "safer" about having a funny name. My friends called theirs "Cletus the Fetus" after the Simpson''s character.

So I have decided to use a midwife for my primary care... I am wondering how far I want to go with selecting someone? I feel like it is such an intimate role, I really want someone I like and trust... INdy did you interview your midwife first or anything? My close friends used a particular woman for both of their pregnancies/births and they love her. I am thinking of just calling that practice.

But it seems scary to make it real by actually calling someone! Ackkk!!

 

[sbde]

great idea for this thread dreamer...the preggo thread is definitely a little scary!

for now we''re just calling it jellybean, because that''s exactly what we saw in our first ultrasound...a little jellybean.

 

[Independent Gal]

We like to think of our Cub as a lion cub, rather than the bear variety.

It''s kind of an inside joke.

My midwife is just the lady who does my annuals. I didn''t pick her specifically for the Cub. And even then I didn''t get to choose her at all. Welcome to the world of managed health care in the US! She''s the one that my primary care person is attached to, and therefore, she is the one I must go to.

That said, I think she''s kinda awesome. She is just my age, and talks to me like a buddy, not a ''patient''.

But since we''re moving in a couple of months, she''ll probably only do the first one or two appointments, and then I''ll have to find someone else.

I called to schedule the first u/s and check up. It will be on July 8th, then we''re nearly outta the danger zone. At that point, the probability that the Cub doesn''t make it is the same as the probability that my mom''s thymus growth is invasive cancer, and I like to think of that 10% probability as very, very remote.

Come on li''l Cub! You can do it!

 

[Dreamer_D]

So what are the stats on miscarriage in the early months? I know that once you see the heartbeat it drops to like 3% (or so I read), but it is like 25% before that?? I guess there aren''t any really good stats...

Does anyone have a pregnancy tracking website they like? I haven''t seen any good ones yet that aren''t full of rainbows and sunshine and "most miraculous time in your life" talk which I am not sure I can deal with...

 

[sbde]

when i moved to beantown i had to find a new dr, and i pretty much just searched online to see which ob/gyns were in my insurance providers network and picked one. luckily she''s really great and i''m happy with her.

i''m not sure if you guys are at this stage yet..but i tend to really overanalyze my symptoms to the point where if i feel fewer symptoms than the days before i begin to worry. i''m a worrier by nature but it''s so hard not to notice every little change going on in the body and compare/contrast with what has been happening uptil then. dreamer, your point abt chances for miscarriage dropping once you''ve seen the heartbeat is VERY reassuring to me, so thank you for that.

 

[Independent Gal]

DD, I think the stats are 50% before the first missed period, then drop to 25% about a week after the period is missed (some say 15%), then to 10% after the heartbeat is detected. But that's for the 'general population'.

I guess if you drink a tonne of coffee (one study said if you drink lots, it doubles your chance of miscarriage!), or have PCOS, or you're older than 30 (or 35 or 40), or have other risk factors, then the stats are different.

SBDE, if you can manage it, try to relaaaaax and NOT pay too much attention to every little twinge in your body. That's a good recipe for driving yourself nuts with hypochondria. High stress levels don't help the situation either! And the fact is, if something is going to go wrong, you will KNOW! It won't be subtle. And you won't be able to do a damn thing about it anyway. It makes sense to be hypersensitive if you can prevent it. But since you can't and since the symptoms are, by most reports, pretty intense, I would try really really hard not worry about every twinge and cramp.

Just think: you have a lifetime of worry about your kid ahead of you! Why not try to start practicing being Zen about things you can't control now?

 

[Independent Gal]

Which reminds me: my midwife said "A bit of spotting and cramping here and there are normal."

Everything down there is stretching! You should only panic if the cramping is intense or you start to really bleed.

 

[Independent Gal]

BTW, anyone else jealous that our little embryos have tails? I''ve always wanted a tail. I mentioned this to my mom this morning, and she pointed that, back in the day, when i was embryo, I had my little tadpole tail too. Why oh why didn''t I keep it?

Having a tail would be awesome.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Indy you crack me up! I''m okay with not having a tail, I like wearing skirts and somehow I think that the tail would complicate things!

So I now have a midwife! Yippee! They are so non-invasive... my first appointment will be at 10 weeks, but we get to go to an information session at the clinic on July 7, so that should be fun. The cool thing is that we managed to get in with the same midwife who delivered our close friends'' two babies. At least she will know where we live, since we are about 1 block away from those friends

. I am happy with a non-invasive approach, but it is a little odd to have zero medical contact until 10 weeks. They don''t even need to see me for a blood test, they just asked if I took an hpt and said, "That''s fine then!"

My only "symptom" so far has been an interesting pulling/stretching feeling around my uterus. I think that period cramps feel like someone is holding my uterus in their fist and squeeeeeezing... this feels more like someone attached a bunch of little threads to my uterus and is gently pulling them to the sides. I guess that is accurate since apparently this feeling is from the ligaments stretching. Otherwise, no symptoms yet (knock wood), but then again I''m only like 4 weeks along

I guess I shouldn''t get excited about how "easy" it is yet, right?? haha

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/19/2008 2:49:21 PM
Author: sbde
when i moved to beantown i had to find a new dr, and i pretty much just searched online to see which ob/gyns were in my insurance providers network and picked one. luckily she''s really great and i''m happy with her.

i''m not sure if you guys are at this stage yet..but i tend to really overanalyze my symptoms to the point where if i feel fewer symptoms than the days before i begin to worry. i''m a worrier by nature but it''s so hard not to notice every little change going on in the body and compare/contrast with what has been happening uptil then. dreamer, your point abt chances for miscarriage dropping once you''ve seen the heartbeat is VERY reassuring to me, so thank you for that.

I think it would be very easy to get lost in the bodily sensations. I know in the two months TTC where it dind''t work out I was analyzing EVERYTHING!! I don''t see why that would change with pregnancy!

But I am trying to take a "que sera" approach. There is nothing I can do about anything except sleep lots, eat well, excercise, and drink lots of water. Other than that, it is up to mother nature. I just remind myself of that when I feel myself veering into worries and it seems to work. But I tend to be a kind of low-anxiety person. My best freinds are mostly very anxious women, so I totally know coping with anxiety is easier said than done! These forums are great places to relieves anxieties I find, because sometims just voicing a concern takes it''s "teeth" away, so to speak.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/19/2008 3:26:47 PM
Author: Independent Gal
DD, I think the stats are 50% before the first missed period, then drop to 25% about a week after the period is missed (some say 15%), then to 10% after the heartbeat is detected. But that''s for the ''general population''.

I don''t know when my period would have ben due, since my cycles were wonky-woo coming off the pill! I guess my longest was 31 days, then 28, then 23. Today is cycle day 28 so I guess in a couple days I may have crossed that first hurdle?

Indy, remind me where you are? SBDE you are 8 weeks, right?

 

[Independent Gal]

Hey DD, my midwife also said there was no need for me to come in until 7-8 weeks. I said ''Don''t you want to confirm, y''know, with a blood test or whatever you people do?'' and she said "We use the same darn strips you do!

" So she basically said, don''t worry if you spot or cramp. Call me if you bleed. See you in 3 weeks.

And my first appt is... July 7th also!

I''m having the stretchy feeling too. Moments of nausea but nothing terrible, and at 8pm, everyday, it''s like I''ve been run over by a truck! so. tired. So we''ve been going to bed at 9:30.

Exercise, eat well, drink lots of water, get some rest. Sounds like everyday life to me! But now I''m eatin'' well, exercising, restin'', and drinkin'' with a whole new sense of purpose.

Actually, one more symptom. I have CRAZY craving for my favourite ginger & chili Thai dish. Must. Have. It.

 

[Independent Gal]

I''m 5 weeks today. In ''gestational time'' that is. Took me a minute to figure out all that wonky timing. I gather that means since my LMP. I''m not sure how far past what would''ve been the most recent MP I am, since I never determined Egg Day. But it''s a few days now anyway.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/19/2008 4:38:47 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Hey DD, my midwife also said there was no need for me to come in until 7-8 weeks. I said ''Don''t you want to confirm, y''know, with a blood test or whatever you people do?'' and she said ''We use the same darn strips you do!

'' So she basically said, don''t worry if you spot or cramp. Call me if you bleed. See you in 3 weeks.

And my first appt is... July 7th also!

I''m having the stretchy feeling too. Moments of nausea but nothing terrible, and at 8pm, everyday, it''s like I''ve been run over by a truck! so. tired. So we''ve been going to bed at 9:30.

Exercise, eat well, drink lots of water, get some rest. Sounds like everyday life to me! But now I''m eatin'' well, exercising, restin'', and drinkin'' with a whole new sense of purpose.

Actually, one more symptom. I have CRAZY craving for my favourite ginger & chili Thai dish. Must. Have. It.

I agree, it is much easier t otry to do these things when it isn''t *just* for me, it is for growing a baby! Craaaazy!

How do they count gestational age? I am CD 28, so I guess that means I am 4 weeks preggers but in my 5th week of my pregnancy?

 

[Independent Gal]

Yes, if you're on CD 28, you are entering your 5th week of pregnancy today, having completed 4.

Weirdyweirdy.

So you're exactly 1 week behind me in gestational time.

 

[erica k]

Oh yay, this is a good thread!

I''m not overly tired, but I do feel this low grade cramping periodically during the day. And I''ve been having a hard time staying asleep, so I''m usually up at 4 and then 6.30 am.

I''ve been more of a stickler about exercising since I found out (i.e., jogging every day instead of every other day).

I''m on CD 31, possibly O''d on CD 16, although I''m still skeptical because my charting skills are less than exemplar.

I haven''t called the health center yet, but I''m going to request a midwife, not a ''cutter'' (i.e. OB). A colleague is due late August and decided to go with a Birthing Center instead because she hated the hospital that our university uses.

SBDE--I''m in Beantown, too!

I don''t know if I have much freedom to choose my provider, though. I''m going to ask my friend how she went about switching from the University hospital to this birthing center.

Anyway, we don''t have a nickname for the baby, yet. My husband doesn''t like me talking about the pregnancy. He told me I can only say ''pregnant'' twice a day. I know he''s kidding, to an extent, but I also think he''s doing this so I don''t get my/his hopes up. I''m known to be less than reasonable about things beyond my control. Oh well.


Sending sticky vibes to everyone!

 

[mela lu]

OMG - me and my BFF almost PEE'd our pants trying to get this whole thing straight...and after tears of laughter we figured it out:

it's just like age, you may be in your 30th year of life, but you don't actually TURN 30 until you complete that 30th year of life (since from Birth to age 1 is technically age zero).

so, at cycle day 28, you are only 4 weeks pregnant because you have completed 4 weeks. You are now in your 5th week, but you don't "earn" your 5 weeks pregnant ribbon until you've successfully completed 5 weeks pregnant.

hahaha. make sense?? I almost died laughing wrapping my head around this.

Anyways, HI GIRLS!

Hope to join you and play all kinds a silly with you soon!

 

[mela lu]

PS. before my body told my embryo to ''beat it'', we called the lickle one "Bojangles". hahaha. We named it after that RAT in the movie "The Green Mile". Bojangles had a tail too. LOL. Redic.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Erika : glad you found this thread! Nerdy preggo unite! As for the insomnia, one of the mommies on the preggo thread mentioned that her Doc said high estrogen can cause insomnia, so that could be contributing since estrogen soars in the first stages of pregnancy. Anxiety also causes that type of insomnia (depression makes is hard to FALL asleep, anxiety hard to STAY asleep_. Last week during the 2ww I woke every morning at 3am, 4am, and 6am and couldn;t go back to sleep. Now that we got the BFP I slept like a baby! Are you feeling particularly anxious about this whole process?

Mela I am sure you will be back soon. I read on a site somewhere that women often get preggo very quickly after an early m/c since the body is very prepared for being preggo... all the progesterone really preps you for implantation etc. And I think that "Bojangles" takes the prize for names. I thought Hoonan Banana was a good name, but yours is better.

Hubby is really tickled about the whole thing. Everytime he leaves (like in the morning for work or just now to get his hair cut) he pats or kisses my stomach and says, "Bye bye little Hoonan!" which is really funny. We are both being autiously optimistic but we are emotional savourers, so we want to enjoy this time no matter what happens in the future.

I usually eat a very balanced diet, but the excercise has always been a challenge for me, to be honest. We get on the wagon and will go to the gym regularly, but then we fall off and it taked hurculean efforts to get in the habit again. This time has been 2 months off the gym wagon

. I asked my friend to start a walking club at lunch time with me so that I can work in more incidental excercise... they recommend 30 - 60 minutes of activity every day, so that will get me the 30 minutes at leasr. Then hubby and I will go to the gym 3 days for some more intense cardio (I like to do hill intervals on the treadmill) and some light weights. I want an unmedicated home birth so that means I need to be as healthy as possible to make it through the ordeal!

 

[erica k]

I don''t know if I''m more anxious than normal. I''m not super tired in the evening, and when I wake up extra early, I have so much energy. Normally I go to bed around midnight and have to drag myself out of bed at 7.30. I''m usually the depressive type (chronically pessimistic about everything), and taking naps during the day is common. Now I''m really active and able to concentrate on my work without ditzing online constantly. Suddenly I feel like I have a reason to write this darn dissertation, teach, and get a real job. Could it be that little something we call ''sense of responsibility?''

It''s probably just the extra estrogen, right?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/19/2008 7:08:07 PM
Author: erica k
I don''t know if I''m more anxious than normal. I''m not super tired in the evening, and when I wake up extra early, I have so much energy. Normally I go to bed around midnight and have to drag myself out of bed at 7.30. I''m usually the depressive type (chronically pessimistic about everything), and taking naps during the day is common. Now I''m really active and able to concentrate on my work without ditzing online constantly. Suddenly I feel like I have a reason to write this darn dissertation, teach, and get a real job. Could it be that little something we call ''sense of responsibility?''

It''s probably just the extra estrogen, right?

LOL! I feel the same way!

It is really funny, Erika, that you, me, and Indy spent a lot of time about 4 months or so ago talking about "balancing academic careers and family" and now we all are expecting a new batch of nerds all at the same time! I will be between 6 and 7 months preggo on the job market this year, so that should be fun!

But the good thing is that if I don''t get a job, or there are no jobs in Canada (there were none last year in my field) then I get 12 months paid maternity leave through my current post-doc, and that "buys" me a whole other year on the job market! woo hoo!

FYI: here is an interesting opinion-blog written by the Dean of Arts at a large Canadian University that talks about babies in academic life. I like his advice "From a career perspective, there is no good time to have children for female academics, so you might as well just have them when you want to." We have to be trailblazers or things will never change in our field.

So your sleeping stuff is probably either hormones or maybe... excitement? Are you excited about anything?? I can''t imahine what?

 

[zoebartlett]

OMG, Indy, you''re pregnant?! Congratulations!!! I haven''t lurked on the TTC or the pregnancy thread in FOREVER, so I''m out of the loop. I''m so excited for you!

Best wishes to everyone who is just starting out. How exciting!

 

[Kaleigh]

Dreamer,
I am glad you started this thread. I think it will help many, and totally get why you started it. Best to all of you in your early stages of pregnancy. It''s an exciting time, and one that is daunting as well. All threads are to give support, so in the nature of PS, we are here if you need it.

Lisa

 

[erica k]

Thanks for the blog link, DD.

It''s so true, there we were talking about what ifs and when is best, and now we''re on the same track to becoming parents! It''s so wonderful that your post-doc offers 12 months maternity leave. I''m actually relieved that the baby will be old enough to leave at home if I need to do a bit of traveling for interviews during my final year of school. It would be lovely to have a post-doc, but they seem to be the exception to the rule for my colleagues.


Shoot, I should really call the health center tomorrow and set up an appointment.

I''m having a hard time figuring out how many weeks along I am. I''m CD31, but only around 15 DPO and 19 DP-BDing. Do doctors and midwives normally go with the LMP? Do they even care about when I likely O''d, and when I last BD''d?

Well, if this is the least of my confusion, then I guess I''m in good shape right now.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 6/19/2008 10:48:42 PM
Author: erica k
I''m having a hard time figuring out how many weeks along I am. I''m CD31, but only around 15 DPO and 19 DP-BDing. Do doctors and midwives normally go with the LMP? Do they even care about when I likely O''d, and when I last BD''d?


Well, if this is the least of my confusion, then I guess I''m in good shape right now.

In my experience they don''t really care...but they SHOULD because if you don''t O around the middle of your cycle your due date can be quite a bit off! Mine was initially, because of my LMP they said I was due almost 2 weeks before I am now (once they dated things with an early US).

 

[erica k]

On a side note, why have I been feeling so fat and bloated? I''m well hydrated, avoid salty foods, haven''t increased my food intake, and am exercising just as much as usual. Sigh.

Is anyone else feeling a bit on the ''large'' side during these early weeks? It''s like I''m having a really bad week of PMS...

I mean, I checked my measurements, and it''s not like I''ve gained inches anywhere. I just feel ''different'' and not as svelte as I am accustomed to.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/19/2008 10:35:24 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Dreamer,
I am glad you started this thread. I think it will help many, and totally get why you started it. Best to all of you in your early stages of pregnancy. It''s an exciting time, and one that is daunting as well. All threads are to give support, so in the nature of PS, we are here if you need it.

Lisa

Lisa, thank you for understanding and taking a moment to post here. I started this thread based on comments that I noticed repeatedly from other PSers, which seemed to suggest a need for a thread like this. I thought when I started this thread that I was careful to state my thoughts and reasons so as not to offend anyone or make it seem like some sort of "splinter group" or rejection of the preggo thread. But apparently I didn''t express myself clearly enough, because I have read comments sugesting that my desire for a thread like this is odd or strange, or that my need for a transition period is not natural for a newly preggo woman, and such sentiments have really hurt my feelings.

Anyways, Lisa, thanks for your support, I really appreciate it.