miss_flo
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2007
- Messages
- 401
The synopsis:
1. Boy and girl date for almost 3 years.
2. Boy initiates vacation to Hawaii after his military deployment.
3. Boy casually brings up the idea of taking photos on vacation.
4. Girl invests in pretty dress. Hopes a proposal is imminent.
5. Girl is very, very wrong.
The background:
We''ve been living together for over two years, dating for almost three. He has been in and out on ships for most of our relationship, but recently took a job at a drug enforcement unit on land...which was thrilling, for sure
To celebrate his return from his last patrol on the ship, he suggested a week on Oahu in the beach cottages the military rents out for $70/night. He also wanted to introduce me to his family members that live in Kaneohe and Hono, so it was a ton of happy stuff to absorb at once.
...and inevitably, my thoughts turned to a proposal.
We''ve discussed marriage seriously since the first year we dated. He has taken me ring shopping numerous times (I''ve got my heart set on anything resembling a Ritani Endless Love) and he has expressed his nervousness about the proposal because he wants it to be as memorable and special as I "deserve." Which is a beautiful sentiment, no doubt.
The reason that little switch flicked in my head was because he''d just promoted in rank and received a hefty bonus for it - both in housing allowance and salary. We were finally able to afford to rent a HOUSE (a yard! a garage!) in the Bay Area, which meant we''d be settling in to live in one place for awhile. I started grad school in September and everything seemed to be falling in place for a proposal to be appropriate in our relationship.
DB suggested that we take photos on vacation since I''ve wanted to have some professional photos done for awhile. Previously we''d considered hiring one of my coworkers since I work at a newspaper and have a lot of photojournalist friends, but he agreed that within a reasonable budget, photos in Hawaii would be even better. We set the budget at $200 (since we were saving a ton of money on hotel accommodations) and I found what I considered to be a wonderful photographer who did "lifestyle" photos for couples. We were booked and ready, and I bought a dress for the shoot.
The vacation itself was perfect - relaxing, low key, and gorgeous. We woke up every morning and jumped in the ocean, cruised around the island in a convertible Mustang, hosted a BBQ for his family, and absorbed all the local culture. I couldn''t have asked for a better experience.
...and then the photo shoot went horribly wrong.
The photographer was FAR more interested in the artsy, dirty crumbling walls and buildings behind us than he was in us as people. All of the photos ended up making us look like accessories to architecture.
Every time we suggested a wardrobe change, he said he''d prefer us in our casual clothes until "the lighting is just right." He got so caught up taking those damn "urban" photos in downtown Honolulu that night fell and we still hadn''t done a wardrobe change. He had us attempt some night shots at a church in Waikiki but he didn''t have the right "lighting equipment" and he didn''t take any photos of us in our formal outfits.
On the ride home, I lost it. I felt incredibly guilty, and I felt guilty because I felt SPOILED. We''d just had the most incredible vacation of our lives in Hawaii, I met his amazing family, we woke up every morning to each other and the Pacific Ocean, and I was getting sniffly over some stupid photos turning out poorly. I started to express my disappointment about the photos to DB, but the conversation suddenly shifted and I found myself admitting my proposal disappointment.
He looked like a deer caught in headlights as he scrambled to explain why he hadn''t even THOUGHT about buying a ring yet. We were planning on buying new furniture since we''ve been using old college leftovers, and he wanted to get our home finished before thinking about wedding planning. And then it clicked for him. He realized all the misleading signs he''d made along the way: popping the Hawaii vacation last minute, talking about his promotion bonus but not saying what he wanted to do with it, suggesting pro photos, etc.
He suddenly remembered that he''d lost the little silver band I wear on my left ring finger in the ocean while we were swimming one morning. "Oh my god, you must have thought I did that on purpose!" he said. He was mortified, and apologetic. We went home that night and talked until we fell asleep, both of us trying to cheer the other up. We flew home the next morning, and have avoided discussing it since.
I guess the moral of the story is to not let your expectations supersede the act of being happy. Enjoy being a girlfriend, enjoy waking up to him every morning, and remember that one day, you''ll miss these silly LIW moments.
For the record, I still have no idea when we''re getting engaged, but I''ve forced myself to enjoy the ride instead of obsessing over every little "sign" I perceive. I learned my lesson the VERY hard way.
1. Boy and girl date for almost 3 years.
2. Boy initiates vacation to Hawaii after his military deployment.
3. Boy casually brings up the idea of taking photos on vacation.
4. Girl invests in pretty dress. Hopes a proposal is imminent.
5. Girl is very, very wrong.
The background:
We''ve been living together for over two years, dating for almost three. He has been in and out on ships for most of our relationship, but recently took a job at a drug enforcement unit on land...which was thrilling, for sure
To celebrate his return from his last patrol on the ship, he suggested a week on Oahu in the beach cottages the military rents out for $70/night. He also wanted to introduce me to his family members that live in Kaneohe and Hono, so it was a ton of happy stuff to absorb at once....and inevitably, my thoughts turned to a proposal.
We''ve discussed marriage seriously since the first year we dated. He has taken me ring shopping numerous times (I''ve got my heart set on anything resembling a Ritani Endless Love) and he has expressed his nervousness about the proposal because he wants it to be as memorable and special as I "deserve." Which is a beautiful sentiment, no doubt.
The reason that little switch flicked in my head was because he''d just promoted in rank and received a hefty bonus for it - both in housing allowance and salary. We were finally able to afford to rent a HOUSE (a yard! a garage!) in the Bay Area, which meant we''d be settling in to live in one place for awhile. I started grad school in September and everything seemed to be falling in place for a proposal to be appropriate in our relationship.
DB suggested that we take photos on vacation since I''ve wanted to have some professional photos done for awhile. Previously we''d considered hiring one of my coworkers since I work at a newspaper and have a lot of photojournalist friends, but he agreed that within a reasonable budget, photos in Hawaii would be even better. We set the budget at $200 (since we were saving a ton of money on hotel accommodations) and I found what I considered to be a wonderful photographer who did "lifestyle" photos for couples. We were booked and ready, and I bought a dress for the shoot.
The vacation itself was perfect - relaxing, low key, and gorgeous. We woke up every morning and jumped in the ocean, cruised around the island in a convertible Mustang, hosted a BBQ for his family, and absorbed all the local culture. I couldn''t have asked for a better experience.
...and then the photo shoot went horribly wrong.
The photographer was FAR more interested in the artsy, dirty crumbling walls and buildings behind us than he was in us as people. All of the photos ended up making us look like accessories to architecture.
On the ride home, I lost it. I felt incredibly guilty, and I felt guilty because I felt SPOILED. We''d just had the most incredible vacation of our lives in Hawaii, I met his amazing family, we woke up every morning to each other and the Pacific Ocean, and I was getting sniffly over some stupid photos turning out poorly. I started to express my disappointment about the photos to DB, but the conversation suddenly shifted and I found myself admitting my proposal disappointment.
He looked like a deer caught in headlights as he scrambled to explain why he hadn''t even THOUGHT about buying a ring yet. We were planning on buying new furniture since we''ve been using old college leftovers, and he wanted to get our home finished before thinking about wedding planning. And then it clicked for him. He realized all the misleading signs he''d made along the way: popping the Hawaii vacation last minute, talking about his promotion bonus but not saying what he wanted to do with it, suggesting pro photos, etc.
He suddenly remembered that he''d lost the little silver band I wear on my left ring finger in the ocean while we were swimming one morning. "Oh my god, you must have thought I did that on purpose!" he said. He was mortified, and apologetic. We went home that night and talked until we fell asleep, both of us trying to cheer the other up. We flew home the next morning, and have avoided discussing it since.
I guess the moral of the story is to not let your expectations supersede the act of being happy. Enjoy being a girlfriend, enjoy waking up to him every morning, and remember that one day, you''ll miss these silly LIW moments.
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