The Elegant E-ring... 3cts. or don''t bother?

[kaylagee]

I collect style/fashion books and this one arrived yesterday:
_A Guide to Elegance_ by Genevieve Antoine Dariaux, copyright 1964 & 2003.

I was surprised to read her views on jewelry(partic. diamond rings and simulants), being French and all. I didn't think they went in for that sort of thing but I guess that she's not one of the common, "poor people of Paree".  I don't see many diamond solitaire rings there at all. So, maybe they share her 'all or nothing' attitude:

"An engagement ring is often the only real jewel that a woman owns. Therefore, to be brutally frank, it should not be too, too modest in size - let's say, not less that three carats - because a baby diamond drowned in a sea of platinum is very touching but at the same time a bit pathetic. It is infinitely smarter and less likely to ruin a young husband at the very outset of married life to select an engagement ring paved with tiny brilliants and sapphires, for example, but beautifully designed and of respectable size.

Another formula is to eliminate the conventional engagement ring entirely and to invest one's savings in a wedding band of baguette diamonds. The proud and happy bride can them satisfy her craving for gems by buying...

Costume Jewellery- First of all, an excellent necklace of cultured or imitation pearls - and that is all as far as "imitation" jewellery is concerned. Nothing is less chic, more unattractive and comparatively ruinous than an imitation jewel attempting to pass itself off for the real thing. It belongs in the same category as the nylon coat masquerading as mink, both of them an unpardonable offence against elegance."

 

[kaylagee]

Does anyone here agree w/the madame's sentiment about a minimum size for e-rings? My mother happens to agree about 3ct., but she didn't get an 'e-ring' until the '80s. She had a wedding band only until then.

In _With this Ring_ (I can't remember the authors' names this sec) I read that Marilyn Monroe had a baguette band for her marriage to Joe DiMaggio. Audrey Hepburn had several thin wedding bands including one with horizontal baguettes. Princess Grace was presented with a diamond-ruby eternity band, but this was quickly upgraded to a 12ct. EC with baguette sides.

Does anyone else feel that it's better to simply do without than get a too small center diamond/solitaire?

Also, acc'd to this expert(?) simulants are sadder still. Ulp! Just when I thought it was safe to wade into the lake of fakes again. "ruinous...unpardonable"?! I was just ogling some canary cushion cut Signity cz the other day. This is counter to a lot of the American 'fake it until you make it', 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery' ideas.

I'm beginning to think she may be right about the engagement ring size, depending on the woman's finger size and ring design.

I think this why the halo, frames etc are so popular - enhancing and creating the illusion of larger diamonds, filling more finger space. That's in part why I went with my current design and an oval over other shapes.

Also the infinite upgrading(i''m including myself) phenom leads me to think that waiting may be a better idea. Even with the sentimental attachment, so many women seem dissatisfied with their original(& usually smaller) diamonds.

 

[ForteKitty]

I think she''s full of it. Does her article come with a picture? She sounds like an ugly person...

 

[kaylagee]

LOL! No photo with this edition... I think the original has a photo. If she''s still living, she''s probably quite elderly.

Heading off to Google.

In the meantime..dems fightin'' words, aren''t they? (giggling)

When I read it, my mouth fell open. Then the other shoe dropped when I read this to my mom later and she agreed!

There has to be *someone* here who agrees too. Don''t be shy!

 

[FireGoddess]

Hmmmmm...I think Genevieve''s dishing out a load of horse poop.

But that''s just me.

I have upgraded (0.73 ct to 1.5 ct) my e-ring stone, because I did want something bigger, but I plan to keep this stone for a very, very long time. Perhaps forever. That''s why I had a new setting made for it. I did choose a halo setting, but not specifically to make the stone look bigger...more for the dainty look that small melee can make, and the great sparkle that it can give. My first halo reset was actually WAY too big...I didn''t like it at all.

While 1.5 ct may be the norm, or perhaps(?) smallish on PS, I don''t really ever think of it as small, or have any plans to upgrade in size. I think 3+ ct stones are gorgeous, I would never turn one down,

, but I don''t make judgments about people based on whether their stone is smaller than mine or not.

As for sims being somewhere on the order of pathetic imitation....it''s laughable, really. But then I never really cared much about others'' opinions of me either. I wear them for fun, sometimes I tell people outright that it''s fake when they''re admiring it, sometimes I don''t. Depends on my mood. But that doesn''t mean that by wearing it I''m trying to be something I''m not, or the jewel is trying to be something ITS not...IMO.

I think that having a small stone in the beginning, even if it''s smaller than you like, is a good way to remember where you''ve come from. At that particular moment in time, this is what we could afford. Now...we can afford x, y, and z.

Personally, I find Genevieve''s statement that only large, real jewels equate elegance rather...unelegant.

 

[valeria101]

Ouch!

That anyone tries to write a book of "manners" today sounds silly enough. There was no need to fill the oeuvre with personal choices too. So... she''d rather had a wedding band. Who cares

 

[JCJD]

Date: 4/4/2005 6:42:51 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I think she''s full of it. Does her article come with a picture? She sounds like an ugly person...

I second this... I''d rather have a loving husband, a "baby diamond drowned in a sea of platinum", and a financial future than a 10 ct diamond and a man who was shamed or pressured into buying it to avoid being "ruined" at the very outset of marriage...

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/4/2005 6:52

3 PM
Author: valeria101
Ouch!

That anyone tries to write a book of ''manners'' today sounds silly enough. There was no need to fill the oeuvre with personal choices too. So... she''d rather had a wedding band. Who cares

To be fair, it was orig. published in 1964.

 

[kaylagee]

A novel based on the Dariaux book.

 

[kaylagee]

ForteK,

I haven't found any photos yet but this is funny:

(from the HarperCollins site)

"Geneviere Antonine Dariaux

Biography

Madame Genevieve Antoine Dariaux spent most of her life in Paris, and now lives in the south of France. Even as a child she preferred to accompany her mother to the dressmaker's rather than go to the movies. Her talent for design and making costume jewelry(my italics) led her to open her own fashion house, and her success eventually took her to Nina Ricci, where she was the directrice for many years. "

BTW that's HC's missspellin' of her name in the header.

http://www.harpercollins.com/global_scripts/product_catalog/author_xml.asp?authorid=28580

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Madame Genevieve Antoine Dariaux spent most of her life in Paris, and now lives in the south of France.

Did she ever marry? lol

 

[kaylagee]

MC,

I hope so...since she has a book about men as well! She''s so blunt & opinionated, I might have to check that one out too. I can only imagine what kind of tidbits she''s tossing out there.

http://www.harpercollins.com.au/title.cfm?ISBN=000719918X&Author=0019834

I''m so shocked that no one has come out in support of a minimum size, on PS of all places. Oh well, my hell-raising efforts have been in vain today.

-sad devil kayla

 

[ame]

Date: 4/4/2005 6:20:27 PM
Author: kaylagee
Does anyone here agree w/the madame''s sentiment about a minimum size for e-rings? My mother happens to agree about 3ct., but she didn''t get an ''e-ring'' until the ''80s. She had a wedding band only until then.


In _With this Ring_ (I can''t remember the authors'' names this sec) I read that Marilyn Monroe had a baguette band for her marriage to Joe DiMaggio. Audrey Hepburn had several thin wedding bands including one with horizontal baguettes. Princess Grace was presented with a diamond-ruby eternity band, but this was quickly upgraded to a 12ct. EC with baguette sides.


Does anyone else feel that it''s better to simply do without than get a too small center diamond/solitaire?

Now that I have been engaged almost a year and wearing a stone that has me completely neurotic and having let myself get totally suckered into this eternity band craze which will make me MORE insane...I am starting to wish I only had a plain band. Maybe a diamond band for dress up.

 

[MINE!!]

WHATEVER!!

 

[kaylagee]

ame,

I do wish I'd at least taken more time to consider carat size/proportion & designs. I went through two settings pretty quickly with the rb(my very first choice was an oval anyway). Maybe I'm just too indecisive.

I think in the US when you're engaged or newlywed, you just want *something*, even if you eventually change later. Her advice doesn't translate for most women I know. I don't know many Americans in my generation that will go w/out any sort of e-ring for years until getting the dream ring(of whatever size).

The more I think about it, it's a brave idea. It might save a lot of steps, setting changes, upgrades, money, shrinkage issues, & fretting. For the true surprise proposal where the fiancee has no input on choice, this might be a problem.

Madame Dariaux might sound harsh & unromantic, but it is funny how so many of us choose an e-ring nowadays while fully intending to ditch it ASAP for another(usually w/a larger and better cut diamond.)

 

[ame]

Im more inclined to keep what I have. It''s probably even a bit big for my lifestyle because I am rough on my hands and completely insane on top of it, but also because I will probably only get worse as time goes on if I upgrade. I do think she speaks more to me though about simplicity of just having a sparkly band. But the problem with that is that I will still destroy it and will still need replacements, and or additional bands for other looks.

 

[Christy42]

Date: 4/4/2005 6:53

6 PM
Author: JCJD

Date: 4/4/2005 6:42:51 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I think she''s full of it. Does her article come with a picture? She sounds like an ugly person...

I second this... I''d rather have a loving husband, a ''baby diamond drowned in a sea of platinum'', and a financial future than a 10 ct diamond and a man who was shamed or pressured into buying it to avoid being ''ruined'' at the very outset of marriage...

Amen!

3 Carats or none? Only someone that''s been denied nothing would have such a larger than life view....Altered perception maybe?

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/4/2005 6:51:33 PM
Author: FireGoddess
Hmmmmm...I think Genevieve's dishing out a load of horse poop.


...As for sims being somewhere on the order of pathetic imitation....it's laughable, really.  But then I never really cared much about others' opinions of me either.  I wear them for fun, sometimes I tell people outright that it's fake when they're admiring it, sometimes I don't.  Depends on my mood.  But that doesn't mean that by wearing it I'm trying to be something I'm not, or the jewel is trying to be something ITS not...IMO.

FireG,

ROFL at the horsepoop! I've tried nearly all of the sims including interlaps and ashas(mainly RBs), and I haven't found one that I loved enough to adopt yet. ForteKitty has a pretty one(a Flanders Interlap, I think). I like the signity cushion cut yellow too.  To be fair, I haven't tried many fancy shapes in simulants. So that could be part of my problem w/ 'em.

I was totally drooling over that April Fools hoax oval that Websailor and Cflutist posted but WS admitted that camera skills were largely responsible for the look.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/4/2005 6:53

6 PM
Author: JCJD

I second this... I''d rather have a loving husband, a ''baby diamond drowned in a sea of platinum'', and a financial future than a 10 ct diamond and a man who was shamed or pressured into buying it to avoid being ''ruined'' at the very outset of marriage...

"It is infinitely smarter and less likely to ruin a young husband at the very outset of married life to select an engagement ring paved with tiny brilliants and sapphires, for example, but beautifully designed and of respectable size."

JCJD,

I think she meant that young husbands(just starting out) might be financially ruined by the ideal 3ct.+ ring so it''s wiser to choose a pave ring (w/sapphs or tiny round brilliants) over the dreaded dinky diamond?

I''m still trying to get my brain around how anything under 3cts. could be too small but the idea of holding out for one''s own personal ideal is growing on me. I''ve learned a lot in this process but definitely wasted some time and money.

Of course, if a woman''s personal ideal is a petite diamond then it''s a done deal/fait accompli.

It seems that Dariaux assumes that most women are diamond size queens. I''m guilty of this to a certain extent( but not to the point of pooh-poohing those with different tastes).

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/4/2005 11:28:29 PM
Author: Christy42


Amen!

3 Carats or none? Only someone that's been denied nothing would have such a larger than life view....Altered perception maybe?

Well certainly she seems a bit spoiled and picky. LOL!

However, I'd guess that many PSers would seem spoiled and picky compared to the average jewelry consumer. 

 

[Mara]

I will say that PERSONALLY I would have preferred no e-ring to a small one...small for me NOT being under 3c..but rather under .75c or similar. But that's me the size queen. I do think that many times the setting dwarfs the stone in a smaller size, but it's all about personal preference...and all diamonds are lovely of course (well except the eBay frozen spit ones!).

But for me if we could not have afforded something over .75c .. on my size 6 hand .. i would have prefered we waited until we could get something I wanted, and/or as she noted, get a bigger wedding ring or something that could function as both. Definitely something we both loved and agreed on. I think the recent halo craze does have something to do with trying to make a smaller stone look bigger, and I think it does a fabulous, beautiful job.

Do I think 3c or don't bother? HAH no way or else I'd still be friggin waiting for my e-ring! and waiting...and waiting..not to mention Greg would have kicked me to the curb for laying down such an ultimatum so I wouldn't have anyone to marry anyway!

I am not ashamed to admit it as you really already all know...I crave diamond size baby!

Oh and for the record, my three most worn pieces of jewelry are my small platinum hoops, my regent pendant and my e-ring/w-ring set. If nothing else the e-ring/w-ring goes on..so that part of the article is true for me.

 

[sparklish]

The problem with these etiquette books is they try to make rules for everyone when it is so dependent on the circumstances. For some women, who like the author said only have one real jewel, or who want such a thing and who's FH can afford it comfortably, this might be a good guideline. For others it's not... I'd kill my BF if he bought a 3 carat ring - I'd never wear it!

Hopefully the guy knows his fiancee well enough to know which category she fits into!

 

[kittykat]

Does anyone know where to find Photos of these celebrities rings?

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/5/2005 12:31:43 PM
Author: Mara
I will say that PERSONALLY I would have preferred no e-ring to a small one...small for me NOT being under 3c..but rather under .75c or similar. But that''s me the size queen. I do think that many times the setting dwarfs the stone in a smaller size, but it''s all about personal preference...and all diamonds are lovely of course (well except the eBay frozen spit ones!).

But for me if we could not have afforded something over .75c .. on my size 6 hand .. I would have prefered we waited until we could get something I wanted, and/or as she noted, get a bigger wedding ring or something that could function as both...

Mara,

LOL! @ frozen spit. They can really offer some doozies on ebay! (gag)

At the time(before the diamond illness infected me, lol!), I had a one carat minumum for a diamond engagement ring...about 4ct for colored stones. I just don''t like to see too much of my finger. Looking back, I think I tried to remedy that with the Fay Cullen marquises shield guard.

I would have waited rather than gotten anything smaller for a center. However, I''ve never thought of smaller stones as ''pathetic'' or anything mean-spirited or absolutist like that - it''s just not my personal style. I love diamond bands so that would have been a cool idea too, but duh.. it just never crossed my mind.

As fickle as I am, I probably should have taken more time, but that''s spilled milk.
My husband was shocked enough at the cost of a decent 1ct. so maybe it''s better that we''re taking the ''scenic route.'' At least I''m halfway to a nice pair of stud earrings.

 

[Kaleigh]

Honestly I am at a loss for words.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/5/2005 2:50:24 PM
Author: sparklish
The problem with these etiquette books is they try to make rules for everyone when it is so dependent on the circumstances.  For some women, who like the author said only have one real jewel, or who want such a thing and who's FH can afford it comfortably, this might be a good guideline.  For others it's not...  I'd kill my BF if he bought a 3 carat ring - I'd never wear it!
Hopefully the guy knows his fiancee well enough to know which category she fits into!

Sparklish,

True about the etiquette and many style/fashion books as well. Maybe most non-fiction authors period.

Every one is a self-proclaimed sage and expert, but that's what makes reading them so much fun for me. I like to read aloud to torture people and giggle. Occasionally the 'expert' is on about something but it depends so much on the reader/audience.  You're right, Dariaux's advice applies for people who care and can afford to care.

It just was so dictatorial and unexpected, that I just had to share. I figured only diamond board folks could truly appreciate this particular 'gem'.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/5/2005 5:21:45 PM
Author: kittykat
Does anyone know where to find Photos of these celebrities rings?

kittykat,

There are photos of the rings in _With This Ring: The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Jewelry_ by Penny Prodow and Marion Fasel.

I have the book so I''ll try to scan them in sometime today, ok?

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 4/5/2005 5:29

2 PM
Author: kaleigh
Honestly I am at a loss for words.

about??... the topic, dariaux''s quote,... everything?

 

[diane5006]

I sow this and found it interesting...I had read the novel "Elegence" and it is pretty interesting...chick lit fo rsure...but not bad...I have not read the etiquete book...but took it "advice" (of which somein in the novel) with a grain of salt...humorous in a ''people don''t really think think that way...but they do, kinda way''

 

[kittykat]

Date: 4/5/2005 6

5

3 PM
Author: kaylagee

Date: 4/5/2005 5:21:45 PM

Author: kittykat

Does anyone know where to find Photos of these celebrities rings?

kittykat,


There are photos of the rings in _With This Ring: The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Jewelry_ by Penny Prodow and Marion Fasel.
Thank you kaylagee!

I have the book so I''ll try to scan them in sometime today, ok?