The diamond gift, a philosphical approach

[oldminer]

You can work over the price you pay for a diamond until you are totally pleased about what it cost, but you will get tired out and potentially diminish the overall experience by not looking at the larger picture. What does this diamond represent to you and to the person you are giving it to? If you examine that question thoroughly you will find the purchaser generally has a very different view of the diamond deal than the intended person who is to get it as a gift and wear it.

Buyers tend to be rather cold and demanding about what the grade is, what the price is, and the details of the transaction. They get pretty well caught up in the details of playing it safe but often just don''t understand the importance of what they are buying to the person who will recieve it shortly after completion. That second party is the one who takes ownership of the diamond by virtue of wearing it every day. They will show it to their friends, and to your friends, with a varying degrees of pride and emotonal content. I know that few of those who actually do the buying understand the depth of this emotional content and one ought to take a few moments to better comprehend what all of this means.

People who wear an engagement ring diamond invest a huge part of their mind into the love and emotional content of the gift. They may appreciate the grade, whatever it is, but it is the committment, the dowry, the exchange of promises that make it a GIFT, rather than just a gift.

In all this frenetic searching that goes on for the right diamond, keep in mind the end result must fit the other person''s expectations, needs, dreams and aspirations. Without these other things in mind, the right price will just not suffice. A great suggestion is to make the presentation of the ring a subtle, smooth, romantic, and private event. The presentation needs content. Believe me, a well presented engagement ring will be a lifetime experience that neither party forgets. Badly done, it will forever be a sore point.

Maybe some folks will add comments on how to make it a great moment. Maybe some will tell us from their heart how deeply a fitting gift, properly presented feels. Was it presentation AND quality that counted? Was it more of one than the other? For those engaged years ago, what rememberances do you have of the moment the ring was presented?

I''d think it could help a lot of people in the process of buying a diamond understand more about the importance of such a gift and how to do the entire job properly.

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

That is true, and nicely put Dave.

Sometimes we see girls given diamonds who simply do not understand the R&D that a guy has put into the process. Other times we see girls who are a bit like the sea gulls in "finding Nemo" (mine, mine , mine).
But almost always, the ring is a proudly displayed symbol.

I have even seen cheap temporary substitue rings be purchased just after a romantic proposal - and they become embued with a potent power and often worn on the right hand because they are too important to put in a draw somewhere.

 

[kristy_lyn]

Shopping for my own E-ring diamond gave me a great appreciation of all those things - and, gave me perspective on just how important (or not important) that extra mm in diameter and one color grade is to me.

And - the moment I picked up the ring in its triple-boxed, triple-enveloped package at the Fed-Ex station with my fiance was just as special as if he''d picked out the diamond and ring himself! I will never forget the way the morning sun shone through my new little prism when I slipped it on for the first time as my fiance looked on with a smile.

 

[JohnQuixote]

Nice thoughts Dave.

It's so true that all of the (necessary) analytic details can mire a buyer down & even wear him/her out. We should never forget that emotion and symbolism are the alpha and omega of the journey. As professionals I think we can help our clients by remembering this in our overall approach.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think y''all ought to make up a booklet of proposal ideas to give to the guys! And please write in there not to wait so long to give her the ring! We really see girls suffer on here knowing that the ring has been purchased but the guy is waiting for some imaginary perfect time and the poor girl just wants to be officially engaged!

But it is heartwarming to read the care some guys on here take to get the perfect ring! That makes it easy to get hooked on this site! But like Kristy, I am the diamond researcher in my house, and I prefer picking my diamonds. And my dear husband is mroe than happy to pay for them since I have saved him the trauma of shopping!

 

[angeline]

This post made me feel teary. I got engaged 10 years ago and knew nothing at all about diamonds and we never thought to learn (shock, horror!) We just went to the shop in our little town that was the best, and had been around the longest with a reputation for honesty and looked at 3 rings. I told my fiancee (never sure how to spell it) which one I liked the best, (well actually I just heavily hinted as it was the most expensive one). That said, it was a 30 point diamond in yellow gold that cost about $2000.

A couple of weeks later my now dh went to see my Dad. My Dad had had a stroke so he wasn''t actually that cognisant of what was going on but I loved that my dh made the effort to ask his permission. After a dinner we went walking (in the middle of winter) on the jetty on the beach where we had our first date. It was freezing cold, windy and dark. Halfway down the jetty he hugged me and carefully pulled the box out and asked me to marry him. I said yes of course and VERY carefully he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on.

You know what? I''m gonna ring my husband up right now and tell him how much that meant to me. Even though we''re shopping now for a bigger diamond, I will never change my original e-ring, and I''ll still wear it proudly.

Thank you for asking for these stories to remind us of what''s really important.

a

 

[oldminer]

A lovely story Angeline. There are many more and we''d all like to see more of them put into print. The romance of life is so easily pushed aside by the pressure of daily workloads. Taking the time to go back, recall a wonderful event makes it all more worth the effort. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Regular Guy]

Just want to give a compliment here, recognizing three sources:

a) First, thanks Dave for this thread. I think it''s where it''s at, too. Also, there''s two other places/persons close by who have recognized this, too.

b) James Alexander, on his old DCD site, still offers a book about popping the question for those who ask (and spend some money there). I suppose I can''t hold it against him for not having asked for it (not sure the text read that way two years ago, or that he''ll honor it two years later. Maybe I should just bequest my copy to someone else).

c) On this site, Leonid and Irina have a forum for people to get ideas about that very thing. Right here!

Not too unimportant to mention at all.

 

[oldminer]

Here is an article by John Pollard. He has many of the same feelings about the diamond buying and giving experience.
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Quote:

Diamond buying: Emotional experience or math problem?

Professionals in the diamond industry hear warnings about "commoditization" at our trade conventions. We hear the warnings from traditionalists, from sellers and suppliers, from revered industry leaders. We hear the warnings from some of the most esteemed icons of our industry. But what does it mean?

It is about the reduction of an emotional experience to a mere set of numbers. That is the concern.

For many years diamond cutters were considered craftsmen and artists, like blacksmiths and carpenters (the best still are). As technology has moved forward, blacksmiths and carpenters have been replaced with automated manufacture. In diamond-cutting, auto-dialits and assembly line production have replaced the gray-haired cutter of old who took the rough through every step from blocking to brillianteering. However, the unalterable difference between 'smithing and diamond fashioning is that producing a diamond will never be like stamping out automobiles or pre-fabricated woodwork where pieces and parts are interchangeable. Our craft is unique.

Every piece of diamond rough took millions of years to form. Every diamond is a different story. Once mined from the earth each piece of rough is individually studied and analyzed. A different plan is developed for each piece to arrive at the shape, size and beauty that will be yielded. No two diamonds are perfectly alike; not in rough form nor polished. They may be comparable, but color, clarity and even cut differ from piece to finished piece. There are subdivisions within each color grade. There are microscopic elements of crystallization within each diamond that do not appear on a plot. There are aspects to the way the diamond was run on the wheel and took a polish that blend together to create its distinctiveness when finally viewed.

As we know, the cut of a diamond has the largest influence on its overall performance and can be expressed in differing terms. Proportions, cut estimators, 3D scans, natural reflectors and machines like Imagem and BrillianceScope can assign numbers. But numbers will never tell the story of the diamond's birth, its crystallization over millions of years and the blending together of distinctive elements WITHIN the numbers that make it one-of-a-kind.

Traditionalists emphasize that a finished diamond is both a snowflake and an artist's masterpiece. Its uniqueness is absolute; both in nature and in the treatment man has given it. It can never be replicated - and its singular, irreplaceable distinctiveness is the perfect expression for a giver, and the most its wearer could ever hope for.

The traditionalists are right of course.

Now there is concern among traditionalists that by reducing a diamond to a data stream we take away its romance. We remove its symbolic appeal, distinctiveness that can be measured only by the human eye and a history larger than life - and replace them with charts and graphs.

The information age has provided us with the ability to analyze the art of man and nature. We have powerful tools for measurement and analysis. We can place a number beside every facet. We can take analytic photographs at unreal magnifications. We have black boxes that assign values. For trade and factory analysts these things can empower more understanding and the ability to maximize beauty at the source. Certainly there are hundredths of degrees which can help our scientific understanding. However, any professional will tell you that once a diamond is within an acknowledged premium range the nuances of its specific appeal depend entirely on individual human taste and preference. To make such fine judgments, beauty can only be in the eyes of the beholder.

Let us consider the most important people, our clients: For those who will give and receive nature's creation, crafted into shape by man's hand, we should provide technical validation to put them at ease. But for the sake of our trade we have a responsibility to put less emphasis on a decimal point and be more sensitive to our clients' appreciation for the emotional aspect of the diamond - which was his or her motivation for purchase in the first place!

Let us not convert someone shopping for a work of art & love into someone shopping for a tenth of a degree on crown facet number 8. To do so reduces the emotional experience to a math problem and reduces the meaningfulness of the service our trade can provide to our clients.

A healthy marriage of lab grading, parametric data and direct performance assessment should be enough for even the internet shopper's desire for pedigree. By all means, provide validation our clients need to be comfortable in a purchase, but ultimate beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is important for us to remember that when all is said and done it will be sparkle, not statistics, which cause the wearer to love the piece.
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[strmrdr]

Date: 8/7/2006 4:31:47 PM
Author: Garry H (Cut Nut)
That is true, and nicely put Dave.

Sometimes we see girls given diamonds who simply do not understand the R&D that a guy has put into the process. Other times we see girls who are a bit like the sea gulls in ''finding Nemo'' (mine, mine , mine).
But almost always, the ring is a proudly displayed symbol.

I have even seen cheap temporary substitue rings be purchased just after a romantic proposal - and they become embued with a potent power and often worn on the right hand because they are too important to put in a draw somewhere.

LOL
One of wifey2b''s first questions when I reproposed with an upgrade diamond was was do I get to keep the old one,,, I said yes... she put it on her right hand .. I said you can get it put in a pendant if you want.. she said no it stays right here.... I said kewl :}

But she is thrilled about the work I put into it too and will tell ya mine mine mine mine about both of em 2 :}
So I guess my point is that the diamond can be many things.


Will be interesting what she does after her next upgrade but until she runs out of fingers ill bet she wears em all.

 

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 8/8/2006 6:03:20 PM
Author: oldminer

Here is an article by John Pollard. He has many of the same feelings about the diamond buying and giving experience.

I agree Dave. I wrote that last month and it looks like we''re on the same wavelength.
I appreciate you going to the effort to reproduce it here.

 

[strmrdr]

" It is important for us to remember that when all is said and done it will be sparkle, not statistics, which cause the wearer to love the piece."

You know that really depends on the person.....
My .15 h&a is a beautiful diamond and I like it but I don't really love it like I do the stone I just bought my wifey2b because I don't have all the info on it and it bugs me.

On the other hand her original diamond I do love and don't have all the info because of all the work I did hunting it down.
Sure Iv seen the IS and aset images they just told me what iv already known, bright sparky non-h&a diamond.
Besides it has more memories attached to it...So I dunno :}