The cost of marriage....

[Audrey Hepburn]

Ok, ladies and gents-
I thought it rather uncouth to ask the question "how much did you spend on your wedding?" but then again, we all seem to have NOOOOO problems talking about the thousands we spend on sparkly stones, so here it goes -

HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND (or are going to spend) ON YOUR WEDDING?

I am beginning the "pre-engagment" lookin'' around, and I''ve done some research. The average amount spent on a wedding in the US is just under $25000. In large cities, the number os significantly higher ($35,000 in NYC) and in certain geographic locations it is lower ($18,000 in the south.)
So let''s say including:
Ceremony
Reception (Place + Food + Beverages)
Photographer
Flowers/Decorations
Music
Dress/Tux
Transportation....
Basicaly everything that has to do with the BIG DAY
(NOT the rehearsal dinner or the honeymoon...)
It can be any wedding (home or destination..)

Let''s hear all about the outrageous money we spend in the name of LOVE and a GOOD TIME!!!!!!!

-AH

 

[ep6585]

I'm haven't proposed yet but have started to think about what type of wedding and/or how much I want to spend. Since I'll be paying for it I'll probably end up spending between $10K and $15K. Maybe more if I get some help. Neither one of us has a large family so it'll end up being a fairly small event. Less than 50 people.

We live in the South and most of the weddings I've been to recently probably cost under 10K. But...we just went to a wedding last week that I heard cost around $40K.

 

[Mara]

Well we were going to get married locally originally with about 80 people for about $20k. Then we decided to do Hawaii with about 30 people but more elaborate setup (aka gift bags, paying for rehearsal dinner/party, paying for more items) and spent about $15k though my budget was originally $12k. So for 10 days in Hawaii...and our fabulous day and time with our friends and family, was worth it AND we paid less than a thing locally would have been with people who were not as important to us. Then we had extra $$ for our Honeymoon to Tahiti!

 

[Matata]

My fiance's estimated cost of the wedding is $40,000. He wants a large event.
My estimated cost is $65 (the cost of the license). I want a quick trip to city hall.

 

[glitterata]

We went to City Hall and out to lunch afterwards with our witnesses, his brother and my best friend. But we had a party the next month for about 200 people--dim sum in NYC's Chinatown. The wedding itself cost about $400, the reception about $5000--dim sum has the city's highest yumminess/cost ratio. It was not too long after 9/11, and we valued the opportunity to bring a little business to Chinatown, which had been hit hard economically--the whole neighborhood was shut down for months after the attacks.

When I think about all the weddings I've been to, how much money the couple or family spent has absolutely no relation to how much fun or how moving the wedding was. I've enjoyed the pot-luck-in-the-veterans-hall weddings and the bride's-mom's-backyard weddings as much as the Rainbow Room weddings and fancy vinyard weddings.

 

[chialea]

Well, this thread has given me a near-heart attack of sticker shock. I asked some friends, and they said they had paid over $20k for their wedding. Other friends of mine must have spent quite a lot more than that, judging from that estimate. I'd never really realized people COULD spend that much on a wedding.

I talked to my SO, and it seems he's worked out somewhat of a budget already -- $20 of BBQ + sides per person, my parents' backyard (more than likely), and minimal decoration. We get to have close family and friends there, time to spend with all of em, dressy clothes (for once -- though I'm not wearing a wedding dress), and still have a good chunk of money to put towards a house, saving for children, and retirement.

 

[moremoremore]

It also depends on how many people you have!!!! I had a "small" wedding of about 120 people...but there's no way I'm answering! lol ...Let's just say it was too much but worth every penny

 

[sumi]

he he he, my whole wedding was about $500. The flowers were from the LA wholesale flower mart + the flowers already blooming in the garden (we got married in my sister's BEAUTIFUL backyard). The decorations were minimal because there were so many flowers. We only had ten people there, including ourselves. We only invited immediate family. I bought a simple white coctail dress from Macy's. I didn't have a veil or a traditional wedding dress because I think all of that is nonsense. My BIL has an amazing camera and he was our unofficial photographer. It was wonderful. Of course, the $500 EXCLUDES the cost of our rings.

 

[adillus]

Our budget is a moving target (it moves pretty fast, too). It started at $10,000 for a small wedding (around 50 guests). But the $$ seems to go up every week. We're at just over $16,000 now (on paper), but the way it's been going, I expect we'll end up spending more like $20,000 before it's all said and done.

 

[kkeen15]

I think the estimates in bride magazines are significantly higher than actual figures. Most weddings are probably in the 2000-10000 range, if you factor in EVERYBODY (lower middle class) and consider that really impoverished people don't actually have weddings in a traditional sense. But I don't doubt that in the sample that the bride magazine took, the averages were in fact what they stated them to be.

My wedding will be around 5000 including rings. We're having it on a Sunday afternoon at my favorite rose garden/park in October. Our only real splurge will be a string quartet for the ceremony and reception immediately following. That's just my style according to my budget

 

[cmcwill]

We live in North Jersey and have yet to find a place that costs less than $100/plate including gratuity (20%) We just looked at a place that was $175 without gratuity! I'm sure it gets worse in the city, but it has been a real eye-opener here too!

Colleen

 

[aliciamt7]

We are in Central NJ and are looking at about $25,000 right now. This is average here, one of my coworkers spent about $38,000, and I just did a wedding (I'm a hairdresser) where they spent $100,000! So mine's actually pretty inexpensive compared to that! We are also doing offseason on a Saturday night for about 125-150 people (March 2005) to help save costs but so that we could have it at the place we wanted to!

 

[verticalhorizon]

When I was pricing e-rings, I thought I was gonna get the ultimate $3k ring. Now pricing out weddings, I thought I was gonna get the ultimate $5k wedding.

Man, was I wrong on both counts. I don't know what we'll spend, but I can't stand the idea of throwing away all that money on one day. Have y'all been watching Bridezillas on Women's Entertainment Network? One woman and her fiance spent their ENTIRE life savings on their wedding!

That's just wrong. I want to just run off to some island and tie the knot by ourselves. Maybe video it and send the DVD back to the families.

Let me just say, my wedding ring?... Boone titanium. $95 made by a guy who also makes bike parts. You can't get ANY better than that!

 

[noobie]

----------------
On 7/28/2004 7:05:41 PM verticalhorizon wrote:






Let me just say, my wedding ring?... Boone titanium. $95 made by a guy who also makes bike parts. You can't get ANY better than that!

----------------

Ha! Mine too!. I think I had to pay $5 for shipping to make it $100. Somehow I think the meaning is somewhat lost in all of these fancy celebrations. Do what makes you feel comfortable and don't overspend because you "feel" you need to.

It's a great day , but just the start of a lifetime together

 

[LGail]

My Dad is giving us a budget of $10,000. I am hoping we can spend less than that and take some with us on the honeymoon.

 

[CaptAubrey]

my little sister is getting married next month. i think they are spending about $35,000, though this is in the bay area--nothing is cheap there. they are having a lavish hotel reception for about 200 people.




mrs. aubrey and i spent about $20k on ours, which was about 15 years ago. ditto on the big hotel reception.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Wow!!! if you get married a few times sure adds up + divorce settlement.

 

[aljdewey]

You know, it's really funny because there was a poll several months ago on what people would prefer to spend their money on - a smaller wedding and bigger rock, or a smaller rock and more lavish wedding.

Most people chose the larger stone with the reasoning that the wedding lasts only one day and the rock is worn for a lifetime. Dave and Mike, on the other hand, both pointed out that you can always accumulate more/larger diamonds and material things, but you only marry (hopefully) once, and having that special day is worth it.

Before my wedding, I think I would have chimed in on the "bigger rock" side. Now that my wedding is over, I have to say I really lean toward what Dave/Mike said.

My wedding wasn't big, because that's not who Rich and I are. We had a total of 30 people (including us) - VERY intimate and very meaningful. We were married in the rose garden of a public park overlooking the ocean, and our reception was an evening sunset cruise aboard a schooner with a catered buffet meal.

The average wedding in the Greater Boston area right now averages $20-24K. We pulled ours off for just under a third of that, and nearly everyone has told us (and their friends) that ours wedding was the most elegant wedding they'd ever been to.

If I live to be 105, I will NEVER forget that day and how it felt to stand at the back of the park looking at the folks who'd come to share in our day. I felt as though our happiness was barely containable. It was the wedding of my dreams....and then some. It was truly magical.

Knowing what I know today, if my budget were reduced and I had to choose either the ring I now wear or choose the wedding I just had and a smaller ring, I'd choose the wedding and the smaller ring...without a doubt. I have relived that day already a hundred times in my head (it's only been 3 weeks!), and the value of that is priceless.

I really have to cast a vote to having the wedding of your dreams (whatever that is, big or small) and then go with what you can for the ring.

To VHorizon and others who feel as though eloping is the only solution.....we thought about that also, and now, I cannot imagine not having shared that day with my immediate family. It seems to be that family pressure is the overriding reason people elope....to avoid the stress, infighting, etc. If I could offer one piece of sage advice, it would be this: Don't sacrifice the experience of your own wedding because you can't please everyone. You can't please everyone anyway. Plan what's important to YOU and let the chips fall where they may.

My aunt is still bent that we invited only *immediate* family (parents/siblings) to our wedding, but she'll have to find a way to live with that. I'm glad I didn't let that kind of pressure cause me to elope and miss the most meaningful day of my life.

 

[NoviceNYC]

I always dreamed about The Proposal and never really cared about the wedding. I really wanted something simple that everyone can celebrate and have a good time at. So I started planning the ultimate beach/destination wedding. Something extremely conducive to both my and my Fiance's personalities as well as our realistic budget (equivalent to a backyard kegger-his ideal

)$$

.....THEN THE RING CAME!..... **cue scary music**.

All I heard about is "I won't be able to make it" or that is too much to ask people to do, etc. So we decided to have what we wanted but have a reception when we got home $$$

....Then we realized that most people were still mopey about not seeing us get married (mostly a sick grandma so can't blame her) and planning the reception and the destination wedding would be more money anyway so now we are back at square one; planning a reception at home. $$$$. Home being the operative word-NYC. But we have come to realize after the smoke clears, this for everyone else and what they want and we want to make them happy. So I would have to say we are looking at a budget of $20,000-$30,000 up from $500. There goes that Porsche I was looking at!

Conselation prize...Ww are renewing our vows a year later at the destination of my choice exactly the way I want it

!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My husband and I spend very little. Probably $2000-2500, including the dress and all misc. expenses. My dress was a simple betsy johnson dress and DH wore a nice shirt and we eloped in Vegas. Our costs were minimal as we'd been together for eight years and a huge wedding was never a "dream of mine," type of scenerio. I'd rather spend the money on a house or other priorities, which we chose to do. We wanted to start a family and this is why we decided to marry so we'd have good insurance coverage.


The ONLY mistake we made in our entire wedding process and the only part I regret is hiring a family member to take our wedding photos because we felt obligated to do so since he was married to my husband's sister. She's divorced him since. BUT, regardless, he did a terrible job and we should have had the pictures redone, but we didn't and ended up with just one or two okay shots and tons of lame ones and nothing to put in a photo book.

Michelle

 

[Audrey Hepburn]

It's so nice to hear that so many of you had smaller occasions; they sound wonderfully intimate!!! I'm still waiting for the ring (see "diamond hangout" for my other recent post) so I'm not doind much planning at this point. The place in Jamaica that we are looking at sounds very reasonable - $90 total per person for dinner and open full premium bar for 4 hours. The great thing about Jamaica is how inexpensive all the "others" are, like flowers, band, etc... The flowers are half the price I would pay in the states, and the band and string quartet is very reasonable. The most expensive package for photography is $2500 for a photographer AND videographer for 6 hours - this includes a certain amount of photos and the video! (Now if they're any good is another question - I'll have to go down there and meet with them at least once before the wedding if we do this..) Total for the day I think will run about $25,000, 100-120 people, ceremony, photo, flowers, reception, dress, travel, rooms, etc. Not too bad, I suppose, but we'll have to see how the whole thing actually works out!

You would be shocked, BTW, about a country club/hotel around where I live in virginia. The information they sent me about pricing was UNREAL!!! The email they sent me is as follows:

Thank you for your interest in XXXX Hall for your upcoming wedding. For us to accommodate a wedding you would need to reserve the hotel facility, 48 guestrooms, for a two-night minimum (Friday and Saturday), as we do not have a separate ballroom facility. Rates would largely be dependent on the season you are interested in. Busy seasons are April through June and then again starting in mid-August till Thanksgiving. Our current rates during that time would range from approximately $395 to $495 per room per night plus 10% resort fee and applicable taxes, currently 9.5%. Slower seasons would start after Thanksgiving till April and July to mid-August. Our current rates during that time will range from approximately $250 to $395 per room per night plus the 10% resort fee and taxes. In addition to the room rate there is an average $275 per room per day minimum food & beverage spend. Any food and beverage taken on property will go towards that minimum (breakfast, lunch, room service, rehearsal dinner, wedding dinner, bar tabs, etc.). Other charges you may incur would be for flowers, music, photographer, and if you decide on renting china, special linens, silver, glassware, chairs, tenting, etc. (these are optional items).



A wedding dinner costs approximately $130 to $175 per person plus 20% gratuity. This would be for a one-hour cocktail reception with light hors d'oeuvres, a 3-4-course dinner with our house wines. Pricing depends greatly on items selected and our Chef can tailor make a menu for you. I have attached our banquet menus for your review.

Well, I don't have THAT kind of money, and neither do my friends who are coming and would have to stay in one of those rooms at 500 a night!!!!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

-AH

 

[fire&ice]

Private Country Clubs can be your best value. You don't have to be a member. In ours, the member must book the hall. The Clubs are dying for your business; so, it's just a formality.

 

[Girls-best-friend]

We live in NY and the prices here are outragous. We are having about 200 people and right now the cost is somewhere btwn $55,000 and $60,000 not including the rings or honeymoon. We are both paying for it together so it comes out to about 30grand each.

Believe it or not there are still others we would like to invite but just can't do it. As it stands now we are both only inviting 50 people. The majority of which have significant others so they each can bring a guest. Out of the 50 we are each inviting about 15-20 are family members, 15 for me and 20 for him( would be more for him if they could make the trip from overseas) so that only leaves about 30 friends each, of which some are coworkers so when you really break it down you see just how fast that guest list can add up. Most of the friends we are inviting we have known for a long time. Most of the ones who ended up getting cut from the list where people we have known for 2 years or less. I felt bad enough about that.

Luckily his granfather is going to pay for our honeymoon. His gift to us. So we decided on a cruise to Bermuda. The ship leaves right from NY so no airport time necessary!

So right after breakfast with the family the morining after its off to the honeymoon

 

[TinLemon]

Girls-best-friend...

Our DC wedding is about in line with your NYC wedding. We are still at the beginning of planning, but our catering bill is already at about $18/k. We estimate that we'll spend about $50k for 175 people, give or a take a few people.

Speaking of Bermuda... my fiance and I will be going to Bermuda on the Celebrity Zenith this September.... what ship are you taking? I'll have to remember to tell you how it was once we get back, if you're interested.

 

[marquisemadness]

We are in the process of planning our Feb. 05 wedding. We just booked the ceremony and reception at a beautiful golf course (We live in Phoenix). The club alone will run us about 15K. Now add in the flowers, cake, invitations, dj, dress, tux, etc. Luckily a very good friend is a professional photographer and in exchange for a plane ticket and hotel room he has offered to do the pictures at no charge. Once all is said and done, we'll probably be at about 20K. We are paying for it (although my father did give us a very generous gift).

I have found that prices in Phoenix range anywhere from 1000.00 to 40K to start --a big range.

 

[MrsFrk]

We eloped- $112 bucks. We went swimming in Lake Tahoe afterwards. Best day of my life. Eloping is not for everyone, but if anyone is considering it, I highly recommend it. I've not regretted it ever. Think of how much jewelry you could buy with the thousands of $$s that others spend on napkins and hors d'oevres!

 

[glitterata]

Eloping can be so romantic!

I bought a ton of flowers the day before and made bouquets for myself and my best friend, and boutonieres for my groom and his brother. We brought the extras to the courthouse and gave them to other couples there who didn't have flowers. Some had come with the whole family in matching outfits; some were all by themselves with a single witness in street clothes. Pretty much everybody looked nervous and in love--I'm sure we did too.

I'm very glad we had that experience. I wouldn't change anything about it.

 

[Girls-best-friend]

TinLemon

That would be great if you could pop back in and fill me in on the trip. We are going with Seven Seas. Congrats and have a great trip!

 

[moremoremore]

But then again...if you don't have the big wedding...you probably won't get as many $ gifts...hehehehe....so it kind of balances out

(not that that's the reason to do it)

 

[bar01]

My first wedding (6 years ago)was around $10000. This included the wedding dress and a reception at a resturant (with music) for about 50-60 people. Wedding rings were another $2000, E-Ring was another $3500.

My next wedding will be much simpler and smaller since I will be paying the whole cost this time. Will plan for under $5000. However, E-ring will be much more this time.