The Birth Order of Children revived!

[butterfly 17]

This was posted a while back and I thought it would be fun to read it since we have so many moms here!

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
______________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up
the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you
can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need
it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
______________________________________________________
Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
______________________________________________________


(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)


GRANDCHILDREN:

God's reward for allowing your children to live!!!!!!!!

 

[mrssalvo]

haha, that''s funny and true....

 

[AmberWaves]

Explains so much about why my older brother has FIVE baby books/photo albums and I have one- partially filled out with pictures WITH MY BROTHER.

 

[steph72276]

So funny! I was like that with my first, and I can already tell I will be more laid back with this next one!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

That is so funny and true. The think is my younger sister got it so much easier than me and my parents fully admit it.

A lot of these I read and think to my clinic. Of curse, not all mom''s fit this, but my saying is that the first time mom''s come in for every little thing, and the second time mom''s are usually the ones at risk for waiting a little too long to bring their children in.

 

[Mara]

good argument for only having one! haha.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 7/21/2009 7:19:17 PM
Author: Mara
good argument for only having one! haha.

Yup, one and done.. LOL!!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

lol - I only have two kids and my day is schedualed around hiding from them.

 

[GliderPoss]

OMG! That is so funny!

So true too - I am the youngest of 4.
Eldest has multiple photo albums all carefully labelled etc. second one similar, third one a few less, some unlabelled, me? I get a handfull of pics literally chucked in the back on the third one''s album. Not even put IN THE PAGES, totally unlabelled. Few dates scribbled on the back. THATS how lazy they got!!!

 

[LaraOnline]

I think this is funnier, and more funny, the longer I go on in motherhood.

I''m not sure the energy expressed is at all related to the love for/enjoyment of the child though.

My newest, the third, is so easy to love because all the anxiety - and yes, the new mum''s and dad''s struggle with lifestyle changes and around-the-clock demands - are just not even issues.
The lifestyle is already accommodative to children, so it''s just pure love, baby!

 

[MonkeyPie]

LMFAO!

I knew there was a good reason to only have one or two kids lol.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

"3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!"

Hahaha, that is EXACTLY what my parents would have done!! I was the 4th.

 

[fatafelice]

Date: 7/21/2009 5:17:35 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Explains so much about why my older brother has FIVE baby books/photo albums and I have one- partially filled out with pictures WITH MY BROTHER.

LOL, Amber! One of my aunts (the youngest of three girls), only has baby pictures of herself taken on one day...on a wool blanket...that she was apparently allergic to.