The Best Age to Get Married (Article)

[Sha]

Interesting article in USA Today, on the Best age to get married

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-09-delayed-marriage_N.htm?se=yahoorefer

 

[BlueSki231]

ooo good article!!

thanks for that!

 

[fuzzers]

Thanks for the article! I tend to fall into the "Sooner rather than Later" category (and my folks would agree with this too), which is becoming more and more rare these days. And it's not because I want the ring and wedding ASAP, in fact those things aren't really important to me. Building a family is just my first priority, and I'd rather not wait until my 30's to start! I'll need all the energy I can get!

 

[Shoopy]

That was a good article. I think a lot depends on the person. I remember this conversation I had with my two cousins (one is 2 weeks older and the other 3 days older) about marriage. We were maybe 12 or 13?? Anyway, the older one said she never wanted to get married. I said when I was 30 and my other cousin said at 20.

Fastforward a few years...my cousin that said she would get married at 20 did. I will be 27 when I get married and the older one is still saying she''ll never get married.

Funny how even at a young age, you just know.

 

[Dreamgirl]

fiery has a good point. I remember when I was a kid, I thought I'd be married with 3 kids at age 24. I am now 27 and obviously not married yet and not sure on if I want kids or not. I'd like to be married by 30 though. That is my new "goal" if you will. And honestly, I DON'T want kids by 35. I'd rather maybe if at all have a kid when I am about 38. I think that is a good age. lol Sometimes I think I want them, and other times I don't. But IF I do, I think I'd only have 1 or 2 depending on how the first one goes.

I am going to send this to FF. He falls into the "gotta have the job and the money before marriage category) and he is 27 as well.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[FrekeChild]

I always thought I''d be a young bride. Like 22-25 young. But here I sit, 26.5 and not getting any younger, waiting for an ering.

My goal is before 29. That gives us 2.5 years. Eesh!

 

[Bia]

I always thought 28 would be a good age. So that gives us a little over a year and 2 months! I'll be 27 in January ((eek))

 

[Dreamgirl]

Well, since we are counting......if I want to be married by 30 in July (same month as my birthday)
WAIT!!!! Here is my delema.....I hope to get married on a July 2. My birthday is July 10 (8 day difference.) Which means do I get married 29 going on 30 (8 days later) or 30 going on 31 (8 days later) FF's birthday is in September so he is 2 months younger than I am which means he would be 29 or 30.

lol I already knew of this deliema but it's something I often forget. I think 29 going on 30.....

That boy better hurry up and find his job!!!!!!!!

Times a wastin...tick tick............

Also, it obviously all depends on when he gets the ring and asks me. But I wish at least by 30...

 

[misskitty]

I always wanted to get married before 25, but that birthday is coming up a little bit too soon for that to come true. Hopefully, it''ll happen before 30!

 

[LaraOnline]

I was really surprised by this paragraph:

"A study being drafted by sociologist Norval Glenn of the University of Texas-Austin finds that those who marry in the early to mid-20s are slightly happier and less likely to break up than those who marry in the later 20s, but are significantly more satisfied with their relationships than those who marry at 30 or older."

We Australians are heavily secular, and the ''recieved wisdom'' for years now is basically the older, the better. LIke, at least 30+ for women...
I''ve always thought that might be a pretty shallow reading, particularly as marriage is not an isolated event unaffected by previous romantic experiences...

 

[Dannielle]

Good article

It really does depend on the person though. When I was young I would tell anyone who would listen that I was never going to get married or have children because I wanted a high flying career and to travel the world. When I met Aaron I was so young, and I never really thought about the future, but as we got older I realised that the things I mentioned above really didn''t matter if he wasn''t there to enjoy them with me.

So here I am, engaged at 19 to be married at 22

We are talking about children when I am 28/29 and he will be 32/33, so that is still a long way off!

 

[megster84]

I always knew I wanted to get married, I think I still have wedding Barbie in my parents attic, lol. I never gave much thought to what age until recently. Now that I have met the man I want to marry, we have set the timeline of being married before I am 30. I am going to be 25 in March and FF and I are thinking of getting engaged in the next year or so and then married in 2011 ( I want a longer engagement so I can make sure the wedding is everything I want it to be). So I feel pretty good about things. For me personally, I could not have gotten married anytime before now, I was too young and needed to be selfish and have the freedom that comes with being a young 20 year old. But getting married and having kids is a priority for me now that I am becoming a grown up (lol). Great article and it is nice to see perspectives outside of my own...it reminds me that everyone''s relationship is different and special and shouldn''t be compared to my own (remind me that I posted this the next time a friend ''laps'' us! lol)

 

[purselover]

I always find articles like this interesting so thanks for sharing! They were discussing this on the today show, not sure if anyone saw. I didn''t think it was too surprising that those married under 20 had a higher divorce rate, but I too am with Lara that it was surprising that early to mid 20''s were a bit happier. I always tried not to predicate my marriage age growing up, but if I had to guess I thought 25 always sounded good, and alas it will probably be around there.

 

[chiapet]

Date: 11/10/2008 5:55:11 PM
Author: fieryred33143
That was a good article. I think a lot depends on the person. I remember this conversation I had with my two cousins (one is 2 weeks older and the other 3 days older) about marriage. We were maybe 12 or 13?? Anyway, the older one said she never wanted to get married. I said when I was 30 and my other cousin said at 20.

Fastforward a few years...my cousin that said she would get married at 20 did. I will be 27 when I get married and the older one is still saying she''ll never get married.

Funny how even at a young age, you just know.

I always said that I won''t ever get married (my parents have a terrible marriage) but surprised all my friends when I got married at age 28. But now I''m getting a divorce and am back to my original no-marriage belief! I don''t think there''s an ideal age to get married, except when you take into consideration a woman''s ability to have healthy babies. It''s more important to find someone compatible.
Great article though! I''ve forwarded to all my single friends, all of whom are in their 30s or 40s.

 

[Amanda.Rx]

I sit here at 22.5, I''m hoping to make it into the 25-27 year old category! (It would be sooner, but I, too, am among one of the young professionals needing to finish school and residency). No rush for a wedding band... just a big, beautiful diamond to start!

 

[trillionaire]

I always said 27 was a good age. I am now 26 and 2.5 months, so time is a-wastin''! I was always one of those, "scared of marriage" people, but I now feel much more like I would welcome the continuity. (We are LD, and I refuse to move without a commitment/engagement

) We don''t think we want kids, so technically there is no real rush... I am just tired of being apart. I would settle for a local relationship, lol. I was getting really really antsy about getting married, but then we got into the worst fights of our 5 yr relationship (we almost never ever fight), so that really helped me to cool my jets. A lot. Thank goodness for those fights, I might have gone off the deep end. Lol. Now I can resume sanity and patience.

 

[sammyj]

When I was a teenager I wanted to be married by 25 and to have 2 children before the age of 30. I was determined to be the young and cool mom! I met my BF when I was 22 and by the time I turned 25 we were in no place to be married or even engaged. On top of that he had made a promise to his older brother (who married at 21-ish?) to wait until he was 30 to be married. Now, we are 26 and 27 (in December) and looking to marry in June 2010 when we''ll be 28. Like everyone else has said, it depends on the couple.

"People are more concerned with their own self-development than they used to be," Cherlin says. "People are postponing marriage until everything in their lives is working in order. The order means after you''ve finished your education, perhaps after beginning your career, and increasingly after you''ve lived with your partner. They''re postponing marriage until they think they''re ready for it."

Many of the LIWs on PS are a testament to this. How many stories have we heard of couples waiting until they''ve finished grad school to get engaged and waiting until they are financially stable to take the next step? I think it shows that we are a responsible and conscientious group in spite of the LIW-itis that takes over at times!

Great article! Thanks for posting it, Sha.

 

[MissDimity]

Awesome article, thanks for posting!

Well I''m hoping to get married by 27/28 (I''ll be 26 in December), and I think the major factor in why I want to get married then is that I want to avoid problems with fertility and also that I want my bf to be still relatively young ( he''s 33 now) when we do have kids ( 2 kids: hopefully when I''m 28/9- 33).

 

[purselover]

I wonder what the average age of marriage would be if kids/fertility weren''t an issue? Do you think people would wait longer? Would you wait longer? For me I think it''d be the same I want to adopt so fertility is not an issue, but I''d love to hear other people''s thoughts....

 

[tessari]

I am also hoping to get married before 30...which would be mid-may 2010. But last night I started thinking...do I really want my anniversary to be right before my bday? I guess it''s not such a bad thing, maybe he''ll combine anniversary gifts and bday gifts but it''s not what matters anyway and if we get married in April or earlier then it won''t be warm enough in Europe for our honeymoon...and turning 30 on my honeymoon sounds awesome. my BF is turning 30 in June 2009 and we''ll be on a sort-of "post-engagement trip" to Barcelona so it''s kinda similar 30th bdays. how fair.

 

[gwendolyn]

Until recently, I never really thought I''d get married at all, so I''m fine with whatever, whenever. Am 30 now and will probably be married by 32, but if not...meh.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 11/11/2008 1:53:00 PM
Author: purselover
I wonder what the average age of marriage would be if kids/fertility weren''t an issue? Do you think people would wait longer? Would you wait longer? For me I think it''d be the same I want to adopt so fertility is not an issue, but I''d love to hear other people''s thoughts....

I don''t understand why they are saying 35. Wouldn''t it depend on each person? Because a couple of weeks ago FF mentioned this to me and has brought it up several times. So I''m like "So now you want kids?! We need to be married before even considering it!"

So just the other day I told him I think I have longer than that because (personal info here) I started things later than most girls..........so wouldn''t I have a few more years than that? I still think 38 works for me but now he is soooooooo concerned that 35 is it!

DUDE! WE ARE 27!!!!!!!!!! We got into a slight heated convo about this once again on Saturday. I''ve told him more than once that I want to be married for sevearal years before considering children. This topic comes up so many times now since he read that and now it says that in this article too.

arrrrrrrrrg!

lol

 

[audball]

Great article! Thanks for sharing!

 

[purselover]

Date: 11/11/2008 2:30:03 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 11/11/2008 1:53:00 PM

Author: purselover

I wonder what the average age of marriage would be if kids/fertility weren''t an issue? Do you think people would wait longer? Would you wait longer? For me I think it''d be the same I want to adopt so fertility is not an issue, but I''d love to hear other people''s thoughts....

I don''t understand why they are saying 35. Wouldn''t it depend on each person? Because a couple of weeks ago FF mentioned this to me and has brought it up several times. So I''m like ''So now you want kids?! We need to be married before even considering it!''

So just the other day I told him I think I have longer than that because (personal info here) I started things later than most girls..........so wouldn''t I have a few more years than that? I still think 38 works for me but now he is soooooooo concerned that 35 is it!

DUDE! WE ARE 27!!!!!!!!!! We got into a slight heated convo about this once again on Saturday. I''ve told him more than once that I want to be married for sevearal years before considering children. This topic comes up so many times now since he read that and now it says that in this article too.


arrrrrrrrrg!

lol

I think 35 is the average age for women where it becomes significantly hard to conceive (just a guess from the article) but I agree it totally depends on the individual person. I find stats like that so annoying b/c people start to worry that they should be having kids, and maybe their plans are "wrong", just like your SO did it''s easy to be swept up when you have doctors saying have kids asap!

 

[Rhea]

I never wanted to get married when I was young. When I got together with DH I found myself saying that 32 would be a good age. Because of immigration I got married at age 24, much younger than I wanted to be.

I think the article is interesting. It focuses a lot on the age that someone got married at, but a lot of people seem to get together with their partner and date and live together for a while without getting married. I need to finish the article...

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

That''s a fun article. When I was young, I always said I wanted to get married at 28 - because I didn''t think I''d be able to do much with my career, etc. if I got married sooner - I still have to get through law school

Plus, everyone back home gets married super-young and I didn''t want to (they also stay in my backwater state forever and ever...), and I ALSO knew that I didn''t want to get tied down in college. But then I met my guy 3 weeks into our first year of law school - now, who knows? I might still be 28 when I get married...but it might be sooner (I''m pushing for sooner!)

 

[chiapet]

I think 35 is the average age for women where it becomes significantly hard to conceive (just a guess from the article) but I agree it totally depends on the individual person. I find stats like that so annoying b/c people start to worry that they should be having kids, and maybe their plans are ''wrong'', just like your SO did it''s easy to be swept up when you have doctors saying have kids asap!

Yup, there''s this curve chart thing that haunts me in my sleep. It shows the steep drop in rates of pregnancy once you turn 35 and then the reverse is the drastic increase in chance of the child having a disability. I hear that if you want to freeze your eggs, you should do it before age of 28 or something. I''ve given myself a deadline: if I don''t get pregnant by the age of 38 (regardless if married or not), then I''ll adopt. Lots of cute babies in China who needs love

 

[IloveAsschers13]

Date: 11/10/2008 5:48:24 PM
Author: fuzzers
Thanks for the article! I tend to fall into the ''Sooner rather than Later'' category (and my folks would agree with this too), which is becoming more and more rare these days. And it''s not because I want the ring and wedding ASAP, in fact those things aren''t really important to me. Building a family is just my first priority, and I''d rather not wait until my 30''s to start! I''ll need all the energy I can get!

I just wanted to say that I agree with you 100%. I will probably be getting married at 25-26 depending on money, and I want to start having kids at 28. Ha actually, I should be saying this is a compromise between me and my boyfriend... I want to get married at like 23, and have kids at 25, but my boyfriend wants to wait till way later, so we compromised, which is still younger then a lot. I want to be a young mom.

 

[princesss]

Interesting article.

As a kid, I always said I wanted to be married around 22. I guess I just thought that was when it was "supposed" to happen (but then, my parents were engaged at 19 and married at 21/22).

Now that I''m 22, I don''t feel anywhere NEAR ready! BF and I met when we were 18, and I feel like even though we''ve been together for quite a while now, I have so much I need to learn about myself that it doesn''t make sense for us to do more than date. I met him at a time that I had meant to have just for myself, without a serious relationship (and the same goes for him), but you''ve got to take what life throws at you and roll with it. There''s no way I''m going to complain about having more time with him!

We''re thinking that getting engaged around 26/27 is about right, and then getting married pretty quickly after that (6-8 months). I don''t really care too much about having biological kids, but he does, so we''ll probably start trying a year or two after we get married. And then we''ll adopt.

It''s the perfect plan for us.

 

[LaraOnline]

The modern emphasis on house before wedding is probably another reason why people are getting married later.
In a way, that kind of seems bizarre to me. Why get a loan together, before getting married together?
But I guess a lot of people have more emotional investment in a house rather than the marriage, as we are not a religious group of people, as a whole. So ''bricks and mortar'' mean more than airy fairy commitment stuff...?

As you can guess, my man and I got married, and then bought our first home, and our business, a year or two later. It didn''t even occur to me at the time that we were being old-fashioned in doing it in that order.

But I guess I didn''t invest a lot of emotional energy in having the hugely expensive wedding either. That''s why I''m on this forum, dreaming of an upgrade.
I am moving into my dream home next week though.... so I guess we did something right.

I guess a lot of guys see the proposed cost of the with-bells-on wedding, and then compare that to a house deposit, and draw their own conclusion - either way, there''s only money for EITHER the flash wedding OR the flash house, so someone has to compromise somewhere!