The Agony Of Defeat!

[armywife13]

I will probably loupe it right away. Because I don't want to wait til I leave and then have to make a trip back over.

I would do the same thing. Even as someone who doesn't loupe often, I would check that ring up and down after all of the issues with their quality in the past!

I really hope it turns out great.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

10x, Ame, seriously. Hoping it is perfect!

 

[Laila619]

I have an update:

The remade flyer has arrived at the jeweler, I just can't get there til tomorrow afternoon to pick it up. I know they hand selected the diamonds with a 30x, and I assume final quality control was done under 30x as well. The lady at the jeweler who let me know it was there said it appeared to her to be right on, and the stones all looked level. I am crossing my fingers that it is PERFECT.

Ill update you all when I get it!

I sure hope it's flawless, but I'm worried that what looks 'perfect' to her might not match your idea.

Crossing fingers extra tight!!

 

[ame]

I have an update:

The remade flyer has arrived at the jeweler, I just can't get there til tomorrow afternoon to pick it up. I know they hand selected the diamonds with a 30x, and I assume final quality control was done under 30x as well. The lady at the jeweler who let me know it was there said it appeared to her to be right on, and the stones all looked level. I am crossing my fingers that it is PERFECT.

Ill update you all when I get it!

I sure hope it's flawless, but I'm worried that what looks 'perfect' to her might not match your idea.

Crossing fingers extra tight!!

That, unfortunately, has been the case every time. They think it's good, and when I see it I wonder what they were really looking at. If it's not perfect to my naked eye, that's a big issue. I have better eyes than most though, i've found.

 

[ame]

For everyone who has asked me off PS---I haven't gotten there yet, probably another hour.

 

[ame]

I have it BUT unless a good scrub removes this thing on the table of one of the stones, I believe we identified one stone with chips in the table. After it was spotted THEN it was louped. We steamed it, we wiped it, I've scraped at it with my nail and i have washed and dried my hands and it is still there. So I hope that it's junk on it but I have a feeling it's a chip in the stone. I don't know what we will do if it is, bec having them replace the stones that arrived in this condition last time is what created this mess. I am going to clean it well tonight and look in the morning in full daylight. The jeweler is closed Til tuesday so it won't change anything Til then. But we both saw it, and hopefully he can send me his magnified pics and maybe we can tell on those.

 

[Enerchi]

oh - overall are you even somewhat pleased or are you still unhappy???

I want you to be happy and then there can be closure on this for you then you can finally enjoy your gorgeous ring. I hope in the morning - it doesn't look unusual... fingers crossed....

 

[ame]

I let the jeweler know already, but that stone is most definitely chipped. Right in the table. Just like when I originally got the first one. The light hit it and it's clear as day without a loupe. It's not huge, but it's there, and I know it's there and that to me is not acceptable.

I just got home and gave it a good clean and resteam and it's still there, definitely a chip, definitely breaking the surface in the table facet.

There are a few stones that have little weird chips in them too, but those I see only at 30x and don't bother me. But this I don't need a loupe for, and that's a problem, though it would be at any magnification as well.

If they selected the stones at 30x as I was told, and they were fine then, I'd like to know what happened in the setting and finishing process, and why no one saw that before it left the building, just like last time. It was my understanding the owner would be the final approval, and since he was informed this was an issue the first time, I think I expected it wouldn't leave the premises this time either.

Overall the ring looks great from a distance, but even at a foot away, that chip is in that stone, I see it and I can't forget about it. I cannot and will not accept a stone that has a chip in it in a brand new ring, esp not at this price point. I don't think it can be replaced without this entire cycle repeating, so I believe I will ask for a refund.

I am disappointed, I really am. But I am done with this. I will just wear my plain band for a while by itself, the e-ring is going back in the safe this weekend, I wore it today. Maybe I jinxed myself by getting my hopes up and by wearing my e-ring. I dunno. But I am done. I have no idea what I will get as replacement. IF I bother. Right now I feel like selling the vatche, leaving my stone in the safe and being done with jewelry for a while.

 

[Amys Bling]

Ugh. Maybe you need a refund and then to buy a stock piece from Tiffany or something. This way you can inspect before you buy...


This sucks ame .

 

[ame]

I just do not get it. I don't. I don't know why this is so f'ing hard. I know it can be done, I don't know why it's not being done. I appreciate that they tried, I really do. They were great about it. But the fact that it's come to me and has the same issues as the first time...that really bugs me.

Right now, I don't know what I will do. I just don't want to do this anymore. I have it in the ring box in the safe at the moment. I have to talk to the jeweler and that won't be til Tuesday. So if we can work out a refund I need to explain the situation to DH at that time. He's going to be LIVID. And I have no idea what amount we'll be refunded, I know how much I've invested in this stuff, and it's A LOT, but I don't know that Ill see all of that in return.

Ill have to find a secondhand Tiffs because I don't think DH will budge on this, and really I am not entirely sure I want to give them money anyway. I bought a bean a month ago and he's still furious about it, so much so that I've worn it ONE time and it's hidden away from his sight.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I really don't know what to say. Your settings and rings are both very simple ... I am afraid to even imagine the trauma if they were of more complicated designs.

 

[ame]

I really don't know what to say. Your settings and rings are both very simple ... I am afraid to even imagine the trauma if they were of more complicated designs.

No kidding!

The metalwork on this appears to be fine, Im happy with that. Smooth prongs, eye clean. The stones are mostly ok as well, but I am pretty irritated that after such a big deal was made about not sending out a ring with chips, here we are again. The other stones with chips are not issues to me, they're only visible at 30x, and I am not that worried about them growing. I can't see them without the loupe. This one in particular I can, and it's towards the center of the row of stones, and in the table. And I am sad that it didn't turn out to be gunk like I REALLY deeply hoped it would be. It fissures out under the loupe, you can see that it's a chunk removed from the table facet. I am thankful they were willing to remake it, but I can't accept it coming to me this way. And if they replace it we're back where we started. Maybe for someone who is less specific and particular, it would be amazing. But not for me.

I am going to ask for a refund I think and walk away for a while. I am very disappointed but I am surprisingly clear headed about it. I gave it a chance, and it's not to my expectations. And I am not going to keep chasing my tail. My jeweler has been extremely patient with me, and extremely cool with me, and I appreciate it. Ill definitely give him some business again in the future. I just need this project to end.

I discussed this stuff with DH at dinner, and when it's worked out, Ill figure out the next step, he does agree that custom is clearly something that we have to stop doing, as it's not once worked out for us. And this has to stop.

 

[SweetAsscher]

Aww Ame I was thinking about you today and hoping everything would turn out ok for you.

 

[InnaR]

Hi Ame,
I was thinking about your topics lately, and here is what i want to suggest. Please don't get offended, because i really mean well.
I think that if perfection is so important to you, maybe the simplest plain band is the way to go for w-ring. I would try to get the refund and get a D IF little diamond and wear it either on the stacking ring, or a right hand ring. Then looking at it will always give you the satisfaction of wearing a perfection.

 

[Christina...]

I really don't know what to say. Your settings and rings are both very simple ... I am afraid to even imagine the trauma if they were of more complicated designs.

No kidding!

The metalwork on this appears to be fine, Im happy with that. Smooth prongs, eye clean. The stones are mostly ok as well, but I am pretty irritated that after such a big deal was made about not sending out a ring with chips, here we are again. The other stones with chips are not issues to me, they're only visible at 30x, and I am not that worried about them growing. I can't see them without the loupe. This one in particular I can, and it's towards the center of the row of stones, and in the table. And I am sad that it didn't turn out to be gunk like I REALLY deeply hoped it would be. It fissures out under the loupe, you can see that it's a chunk removed from the table facet. I am thankful they were willing to remake it, but I can't accept it coming to me this way. And if they replace it we're back where we started. Maybe for someone who is less specific and particular, it would be amazing. But not for me.

I am going to ask for a refund I think and walk away for a while. I am very disappointed but I am surprisingly clear headed about it. I gave it a chance, and it's not to my expectations. And I am not going to keep chasing my tail. My jeweler has been extremely patient with me, and extremely cool with me, and I appreciate it. Ill definitely give him some business again in the future. I just need this project to end.

I discussed this stuff with DH at dinner, and when it's worked out, Ill figure out the next step, he does agree that custom is clearly something that we have to stop doing, as it's not once worked out for us. And this has to stop.

I"m sorry Ame, I was really hoping that this would be the time for you. But I think that your right, it's time to walk away from this, it's caused to much time, frustration, and money, not only for you, but apparently for your DH and probably the jeweler too. I don't think that I would give up on having a perfect band though, but maybe give it some time and then start again with a Tiffany piece?

I let out a little groan for you when I read your post, I was so hoping that this would end well, but you seem to be in a good (if defeated) place right now, and going back a third time will likely not changed the outcome. They are either incapable of providing the quality you want, or unwilling. Time to walk away.

 

[ame]

I just woke up, after a 12 hour sleep. I must have needed it!

DH wanted to see it this morning, he didn't need a loupe, just wanted to see it. He saw it right away just in his normal glasses. He just said "damn. Well, get a refund, then we can do nothing, start over, whatever. I know you're disappointed babe but clearly we are not good for custom!" And that was that.

Hopefully I can work out a refund with the jeweler that is fair to both of us, and then for a while Ill just wear my plain band again.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ame, I am glad your husband was understanding. I just really suggest to you that you do your jewelry shopping without him from here on out since you said prior experiences (like with Tiffany) have been very upsetting to him. I don't buy major things without my husband's knowledge, but I also don't make him hear about all my indecision or dissatisfaction, either, because he might decide not to be so accommodating to me about future purchases! I try to just express my pleasure with the things that I end up keeping and love, and then he is happy, too!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Well, clearly this problem is not you. Get your refund and take a rest. You may not want to buy any jewery for a while.
It is ridiculous on their part. Just get away.

Annette

 

[ame]

Yea I am ok with just getting a refund and walking away for a while. The jeweler has been great dealing with this, and I am relieved my husband handled it this well, he is glad I kept him uninvolved for the most part, and normally we discuss big purchases, but he just told me to deal with it. When I get the refund processed, Ill probably just set it aside for a while and go from there. I am just letting it be. I have my plain band on and Im cool with the process now. I will just cross the bridge when I get there. I need a break, we have things to do with the house, so Ill focus on that.

 

[Frenchcut]

You took the right decision. This has gone too far already and there's no way you will ever be satisfied with this ring after so much trouble

I hope that a refund and a few weeks/months of "rest" will help you reflect on your experience and decide where you want to go from there.

 

[ame]

Thank you! Me also. I hope we can come to a fair refund amount. It will go in the bank.

 

[Chloegal]

Wow what a shame that the diamond/s are chipped. That sounds very unusual I would think? I have n`t heard of this as a problem for a newly made ring before. Especially as melee aren`t that expensive, it`s more the labour in setting them. However maybe what you are refering to as chipped is just part and parcel of how melee are cut? Would love to see a photo of what you see when you see a chipped melee in the ring.

I can relate to the obsession part of your issues as I sometimes get very obsessed with my projects or things on my `list`! Sometimes it helps me to `break` or `detach` from my obsession with something by listening to others advice. I am often able to unwant something when I can be shown a bigger picture, or more information. That`s why I am always asking people and trying to learn and take in other`s knowledge and experience.

Eg. In your case, you are fixated on not having a perfect Tiffany 2.2 mm ring because it`s `too wide`! If it was me I can hear my Mum asking me, well, is your finger so slim and delicate, or your body so petite that it would make any disernable difference? Would you let .1 of a mm make you go insane chasing an impossible dream when you can just go into a shop and buy it? Does not the instability of a less than 2mm ring factor into your logic to sway you to consider going past your `ideal perfect` in theory ring? Are you paying the market price for the level of perfection that you are expecting? And finally be honest with yourself, you are putting a lot of time and effort into a relatively basic item. Is everything you wear to this impossibly high standard, and if not, why the obsession with a tiny ring that`s not really that life changing. Are you really unhappy with something else in your life and just putting it on to this?

Good luck though with what you end up with and your search for satisfaction.

 

[canuk-gal]

Thank you! Me also. I hope we can come to a fair refund amount. It will go in the bank.

So, it really is not over?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Eg. In your case, you are fixated on not having a perfect Tiffany 2.2 mm ring because it`s `too wide`! If it was me I can hear my Mum asking me, well, is your finger so slim and delicate, or your body so petite that it would make any disernable difference? Would you let .1 of a mm make you go insane chasing an impossible dream when you can just go into a shop and buy it? Does not the instability of a less than 2mm ring factor into your logic to sway you to consider going past your `ideal perfect` in theory ring? Are you paying the market price for the level of perfection that you are expecting? And finally be honest with yourself, you are putting a lot of time and effort into a relatively basic item. Is everything you wear to this impossibly high standard, and if not, why the obsession with a tiny ring that`s not really that life changing. Are you really unhappy with something else in your life and just putting it on to this?

This is a very well written post, whether Ame sees it apply to her life or not, I found it useful. Have you or your mom been involved in cognitive behavioral therapy at some point? This type of "rethinking" is a big part of that therateutic approach.

 

[ame]

Not entirely over, but will be on Tuesday.

As for Chloe's chain of thought...My life in general is fine, I am generally pretty happy with everything besides my jewelry, and my jewelry issues are not a reflection on anything in my life being upsetting or me funneling any emotion from something else into jewelry. IF there were to be, it would be that until they're perfect, I cannot get over the robbery of my original set.

My jewelry is held to that (apparently unattainable) standard because of what it costs and how much saving I do to obtain these items, and I think the majority of my items are to that standard and my clothes typically are not, because I do so much while wearing them, including crawling around on the floor, or working on the house, I don't generally buy "nice" clothing, as I am a VERY casual person. I personally think for the amount I pay for the rings which is many many hundreds of times what I normally pay for the majority of my wardrobe, that perfection should be a requirement and attainable. This particular item was quite expensive, and therefore for that price point should be exactly how I expect, and especially since I was very clear to the maker and jeweler about my expectations on the workmanship and stone selection and they were very clear on their "loupe clean" workmanship being the "Standard" level of their work. They said they were able to meet my expectations and their promises and for whatever reason failed to do so, or someone overlooked the issues. So this is where I am ready to be done with this situation and get a refund, and move on with my life.

As for your comment about the Tiffany ring and width, I want my band to be the same width as my engagement ring, because I like the symmetry uniformity. That's just how I feel. And for this price point, I am not settling.

I was able to use the Olloclip on my phone and get a good shot, but it's only at 10x. I need to set up my tripod and figure out a solution with my 30x to really get a good zoom. But it absolutely breaks the surface. I think if I can get my camera to focus with the loupe over it it might work better. Also if you notice, the edge of the table facet in that stone (the bottom edge in this photo), is chipped up a little also.

 

[armywife13]

I would definitely find that melee unacceptable. I hope you are able to get the refund.

 

[ame]

Me as well. I don't expect an issue. I just am ready to move on with my life.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I consider something like that in the realm of acceptible. It looks to be about a thousandth of a millimeter or less. A little mark like that would likely happen from wear anyways, I suspect my own half eternity has worse from two years of ownership. But here is the thing: I have never looked and do not plan to. I hope they give you a refund, because it is what you want, but my two cents: isolating that atom sized flaw as a reason to return an item is crossing into loopy-ville (technical term).

I sized the photo to real life to put this in perspective.

 

[TravelingGal]

Well Ame, at least you take your anality about this stuff in stride. You do normally seem to have a good sense of humor about it, which is a positive thing.

Sorry it didn't work out for you. I haven't commented thus far because I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer. I didn't want to say that I didn't think it was going to meet your standards. And even if it did, would you ever wear it for fear of damaging it? Back when I was lurking in 2004, you caught my eye as a poster because you were absolutely obsessive about your rings as far as perfection and being fearful of damaging them...I think even extra lint would freak you out. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and if you want perfection in a ring just to have it, that's your prerogative. But it seems jewelry makes you miserable and gives you misery, vs giving you pleasure?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I consider something like that in the realm of acceptible. It looks to be about a thousandth of a millimeter or less. A little mark like that would likely happen from wear anyways, I suspect my own half eternity has worse from two years of ownership. But here is the thing: I have never looked and do not plan to. I hope they give you a refund, because it is what you want, but my two cents: isolating that atom sized flaw as a reason to return an item is crossing into loopy-ville (technical term).

I sized the photo to real life to put this in perspective.

I am going to have to agree. Except I am thinking the ring may be even smaller than your reduction, Dreamer.