The Agony Of Defeat!

[ame]

So I am going to the jeweler today to try to get some resolution on the Flyer band. I alerted the jeweler that the only two outcomes I think are acceptable are a refund for it, or that Flyer remakes it without charging us again, since it's their workmanship that is what got us to this place. I am actually nauseous about this. I am so sick of it. So defeated.

My husband and I spent the better part of the last week discussing this at dinner every night. We're both pretty burned at this point. We have other things we need to spend the money on, and not have to redo my rings every few months because of poor workmanship.

I told this jeweler from the start 18 months ago when we first met to discuss all this reset stuff how I am "jinxed" with my jewelry, all the way back to the first ering from T. which the sales person damaged and then they lost, not once but TWICE and how everything since then has been one disaster after another. I end up the one that always falls through the cracks, or I am the one that gets the item that is of inferior craft compared to everything else available.

He promised me he'd break that jinx.

And I thought at first he would. I was excited to find someone that I thought "got it". But slowly it's like he was trying to break it and it was jinxing him too. It's like jinx by association!

I emailed them this morning to alert them of my requests that I either have it refunded or remade and that I'd be by this afternoon.

I know I expect "perfection", I am also very direct about it up front, that I expect it right the first time, everything level, and uniform, and set properly without lifted and rough prongs. I think we'd all agree that's the right way. And we'd also hopefully agree that when it's not right, that the maker should make it right or offer a refund. Not tell the customer NO, and to take a hike. This is a VERY expensive ring. I only went with this brand after being told by multiple people in the industry that it's loupe clean work, and that their diamonds are magnificent quality. I paid extra for a brand based on what I expected to be high quality and excellent work. Rivals Tiffany (not a good sales poitn for me) and Cartier and is uniform and well made. Well that's not what I actually received. And yet I am expected to just "settle".

Anyway...I hopefully will return with good news but the pit in my stomach tells me I won't.

 

[Amys Bling]

send you DUST! I hope you finally have a solution you are happy with- a remade ring or your money back!

 

[tyty333]

Good luck ame. I hope they are willing to give it one more shot and make it right.

 

[ame]

While I hope that, their responses up til now have been a resounding NO. lol

Thanks for the dust! I hope that when I get there it can be worked out favorably. I feel sick to my stomach over it.

 

[Amys Bling]

I can only imagine.

 

[mrssalvo]

Good luck Ame! I really hope you can get this all resolved and put past you and end up with something you are 1000% happy with!!

 

[decodelighted]

I feel sick to my stomach over it.

You are literally making yourself SICK over something you have no control over. No matter WHAT they do or say or how PERFECT something ends up .... the REAL problem is what *you* do to *yourself*. Until you realize THAT .... (shrug)

 

[maplefemme]

Good luck, Ame!
I think the best outcome for you would be for them to give you a refund, if they will even consider it.
That way you can go to a vendor who doesn't mind being micromanaged and will consult you every step of the way and assure your satisfaction.

May the Force be with you

 

[Enerchi]

I hope it works out for you. You have certainly devoted enough time and energy to this ring and its STILL not what you want. I hope this is the final step towards a solution - good luck - fingers crossed....

But if not, know you have done your absolute best to try to resolve this. Best wishes!!!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Good luck, Ame! I do hope they might refund your money so you can buy a ring already made that can be inspected prior to purchase.

 

[ame]

Good luck, Ame!
I think the best outcome for you would be for them to give you a refund, if they will even consider it.
That way you can go to a vendor who doesn't mind being micromanaged and will consult you every step of the way and assure your satisfaction.

May the Force be with you

Lol thank you! I was thinking May the Schwartz be with me when I posted this earlier.

 

[ame]

I really hope I don't have to just "let it go" and try to sell it to someone less concerned about it than me. For a HUGE loss.

Good luck, Ame! I do hope they might refund your money so you can buy a ring already made that can be inspected prior to purchase.

That's a consideration. Seriously!

 

[Laila619]

So I am going to the jeweler today to try to get some resolution on the Flyer band. I alerted the jeweler that the only two outcomes I think are acceptable are a refund for it, or that Flyer remakes it without charging us again, since it's their workmanship that is what got us to this place. I am actually nauseous about this. I am so sick of it. So defeated.

Ame,

YES to the refund, NO to the remake. You will be setting yourself up for more of the same if you don't wash your hands of them and start over somewhere completely new. You've given them so many chances that I would not trust them to send it to Flyer for a remake at this point.

 

[ame]

That is how I would prefer it, Flyer said no outright before so I don't honestly expect a change in that opinion. I hope I was clear that I really just cannot do this anymore. It's no longer worth it.

I am going in about 2 hours.

 

[Amys Bling]

I really hope I don't have to just "let it go" and try to sell it to someone less concerned about it than me. For a HUGE loss.

Good luck, Ame! I do hope they might refund your money so you can buy a ring already made that can be inspected prior to purchase.

That's a consideration. Seriously!

selling to someone else for a loss would royally stink! But it may be the only way to get something back put of he deal :/

 

[ame]

Yea that's something I hope I do not have to experience.

 

[Amys Bling]

Yea that's something I hope I do not have to experience.

I hope not for your sake!

 

[ame]

I am just super anxious about how this will work out. I am not really looking at replacement options at all, I just want this to be solved. I have to get that solved and move on.

 

[Laila619]

Lots of luck!!

 

[armywife13]

Best of luck! I hope they give you a refund, I think that would be the best outcome.

 

[ame]

Ok I just left the jeweler who was very calm and helped me stay calm. I do need to make sure I stress this: he is not who I have the issue with. At all. He and his salesperson have been direct and great to work with. Sometimes I am a little pushy with expecting immediate responses but they usually are pretty good at filling me in.

We sat and discussed both options, and we decided to return the ring to Flyer and say that we want it remade correctly and to the same loupe clean standards as their work is advertised to have, and as is shown in the display. Should they decline we will ask then for the refund. And I will either update this thread or start another when it's resolved. I want them to make it right, I really like the look and I just need the workmanship to be what was paid for.

I am giving them a chance to make it right bec it was great to start and the more it was tinkered with then it started to dwindle quickly. I think it's fair and if they decline or don't produce it to my expectations then we can get a refund.

The jeweler also has read my threads and i would also think Flyer has as well. He said he would have chimed in if he felt I was off base or overly harsh or in any way inaccurate.

 

[minmin001]

I'm sorry you have to go through all these. Best of the luck to you and really hope this nightmare will end soon with a great outcome!

 

[Gypsy]

I'm with Deco as harsh as it sounds. I'm not going to blow smoke up your skirt and pretend the issue isn't you. I don't see the point in making yourself sick over a ring and having it consume several weeks worth of time, stress, and energy. I don't think any solution will make you happy unless you start fixing the issues you, personally, seem to have. Just the title is worrisome. It's not a battle. It's a ring. You need perspective honey, and bad.

 

[Laila619]

I'm with Deco as harsh as it sounds. I'm not going to blow smoke up your skirt and pretend the issue isn't you. I don't see the point in making yourself sick over a ring and having it consume several weeks worth of time, stress, and energy. I don't think any solution will make you happy unless you start fixing the issues you, personally, seem to have. Just the title is worrisome. It's not a battle. It's a ring. You need perspective honey, and bad.

But what should Ame do then? Are you and Deco saying to take a step back, and wear the ring as is?

 

[Gypsy]

I can't speak for Deco. But if it were me, I'd have learned to live with it OR demanded a refund ages ago and gotten one too. And the decision would have taken me a week to make at most. More likely within a day I would have known what I would be okay with and what I wouldn't be okay with. She's been letting this impact her life for a LONG time. It's a ring. There are a ton of rings out there. Cut line and move on. But she is fixating on it like it's her child, or worse and turning this into an epic battle in her mind over something that can only been seen with a loupe. I get the different strokes for different folks thing. Heck I had my own halo redone last year by Steven. But to let something like this take over your life for months at a time? No. It's not cancer, it's not AIDS it's a ring. If it were cancer or AIDs yes, you HAVE to deal with it, you can't just walk away without defeat and death. But for a ring??? Value yourself and your sanity enough that you have perspective. Take control, and move on. The only reason this is such a HUGE deal is because she is ALLOWING it to be. It doesn't have to be "agony" at all. It never had to be this big a deal. Why does she keep trying to make something that has proven unworkable work? There's no sense in that, to me.

For example, I bought an OEC in September. Sent it to Hunt to have it set. First two setting designs were just not going to work. We (Hunt and I) mutually agreed that ultimately it's not worth pursuing because ultimately a CAD was required to get the work were it needed to be with the second design. But the first design was just nor right for my stone and would never be. They gave me an immediate refund and wished me the best. So I called BGD, they agreed they could do the second and that the first wasn't right for my stone. But I was still stressed at that point and suspected that even if I had the ring made, since I couldn't have the first design it wouldn't be mind clean for me, and I would ultimately have end up selling it at a loss (like I did the Aurora) because it just wouldn't be right "for me." So... I sold the stone. Stress over. And the stone is with an owner who adores it and is planing to halo it. I'm buying a sapphire for a three stone RHR.

Sometimes VICTORY is just walking away and preserving your mental tranquility.

ETA: Also, Ocean offered, at the time I was considering re-doing my halo, to do mine over again. I declined and decided to pay Steven to redo it instead. If she could have done it right -- she should and would have done it the first time (actually the second because my first halo by Ocean didn't even make it to me, my appraiser kicked it back to her to remake it as unacceptable). She didn't and I wasn't going to put myself through the process of having her try again, only to be stressed that it doesn't come out right-- AGAIN. So... my decision was to pay Steven to remake the halo. Did it cost me more? In money, yes. In peace of mind? Heck no. My halo is perfect now. Love it and have no issues with it. And I look down at it and smile. Ultimately the point of bling is to make you SMILE and be happy. If it's not doing that... why do you own it? It serves no other purpose. A plain metal wedding band would say "married" just as well. And be a lot cheaper. If I were Ame, I'd still be trying to get something she can't give me from Ocean. I'm not Ame, and I'm enjoying my Steven remake. And it was worth every penny, and I consider my Ocean experience to be lesson learned.

 

[Ravinmad]

I'm with Deco as harsh as it sounds. I'm not going to blow smoke up your skirt and pretend the issue isn't you. I don't see the point in making yourself sick over a ring and having it consume several weeks worth of time, stress, and energy. I don't think any solution will make you happy unless you start fixing the issues you, personally, seem to have. Just the title is worrisome. It's not a battle. It's a ring. You need perspective honey, and bad.

But what should Ame do then? Are you and Deco saying to take a step back, and wear the ring as is?

I think if I understand them right that perhaps the things that REALLY matter in life. Health and love, just to name 2 things that come off the top of the head. Then there's all the other things that the majority of individuals on this forum enjoy. Food, Shelter, etc. I understand that the Jewelry issue is a real issue and she shouldnt have or need to compromise her standards especially when the Flyer ring is sold and advertised in the way it is, but to get have physical illness or mental illness or other self defeating ailments or thoughts from it not being up to snuff is troubling. At some point you have to step back and assess the situation. Ask yourself, is my Health, my love and home life worth the trouble of ________________ (insert problematic item).

I am suprized none of the big boys at Flyer has offered to step in and make things right, or even a top notch vendor of another brand. It can be a PR blessing or curse, and solve the problem, fix a wrong, and allow everyone to move on.

IF you are going to continue on this fight, Fight it BIG, be loud, and Let it take its own course but realize it can and will get political and spiteful, etc. Take whatever action you need, but wash your hands of the guilt and such thats dragging you down. See your family doctor and discuss some of the health related issues this has caused because I think it might be beyond just something you and the other half can handle alone and our doctors usually know us enough to get us on the right path.

 

[AllieLuv83]

Which band do you have?

 

[Laila619]

I'd have learned to live with it OR demanded a refund ages ago and gotten one too. And the decision would have taken me a week to make at most. Why does she keep trying to make something that has proven unworkable work?

That I do agree with.

I don't care if this jeweler is nice or whatever--he/she is not getting the results you want.

 

[Enerchi]

[

I am suprized none of the big boys at Flyer has offered to step in and make things right, or even a top notch vendor of another brand. It can be a PR blessing or curse, and solve the problem, fix a wrong, and allow everyone to move on.

IF you are going to continue on this fight, Fight it BIG, be loud, and Let it take its own course but realize it can and will get political and spiteful, etc.

The jeweler also has read my threads and i would also think Flyer has as well. He said he would have chimed in if he felt I was off base or overly harsh or in any way inaccurate.

If there are reps on PS who are aware of the customer concerns, wouldn't it be beneficial to resolve this issue w/ Ame (of board, of course)? I think that would be a good PR / customer service move. Maybe that's what the next step will be as the ring returns to the manufacturer....

Lets hope it resolves well for all parties.

 

[decodelighted]

My husband and I spent the better part of the last week discussing this at dinner every night.

Laila619,
To answer your question ... "what should she do about the ring?" -- I guess I stopped giving a flying fig about that once Ame said - several months ago - that she will never be pleased. Is not ABLE to be pleased. Has never once found any piece of jewelry satisfactory. (I'm paraphrasing.)

I've given up talking about this ring or that ring (she has a few that need *fixin'*) I am not trying to minimize the issue at all. I think it's a VERY SERIOUS issue. But not one of workmanship or customer service -- but one of coping mechanisms & self care & lowering expectations & tendency toward fixation.

I write out of *relating* to the problem. And knowledge that it is MISERY for yourself & others around you. And that it isn't fixed by someone else *finally getting something right* ... or a perfectly crafted ring.

Everyone else can talk about the ring. There's plenty of advice about the terrible! terrible! hateful! stomach churning! dinner ruining! marriage taxing! life altering! stocking snagging! loupe-tragic specimen. I just can't. It is 100% besides the point IMHO.