Tell me I''m crazy

[laughwithme]

I am going crazy, and being a naturally nosy and inquisitive and intelligent person, I simply cannot stop myself from overanalyzing every possible "clue".

B saved for a LONG time and I know for a fact that within the last 3 or so weeks, he hit the "mark". I guess I hoped that as soon as he hit the mark, he would buy like that day and I would totally sense the excitement and some nervousness and he would call and say "let''s getaway this weekend" and that would be it.

I''m such a dreamer.

Basically, I''ve got nothing so far. I''ve sent him a few more diamond links, and no real reaction to those. Well, for one he did actually say, "should I get you something around that size or something smaller, with better color?" and that really depressed me b/c we''ve only talked about this forty freaking times and so I felt back at square one.

Anyway, we''ve planned out what weekends to see each other thru the end of May (we are in LDR until then) and I''ve been particularly hoping he would set some weekend plans throughout February or March...but nothing. While planning, he just said "I don''t really care, you choose who drives when" and I want him to be like "WAIT! I have to come XYZ weekend." So this makes me feel like he really doesn''t have any idea or plan to do it soon.

He is not the kind of guy to sit on money, BTW.

Someone tell me I''m crazy and he is surely scheming behind my back, because he is a very wonderful guy and he''s said in the past he is determined to surprise me. Sadly enough, every night I come home from work, part of me wishes he will be in my living room surrounded by candles and down on one knee. AGHHH!

 

[CNYHopeful]

laughwithme- I''m sure he''ll surprise you when you least expect it. Some days can feel a bit more intense than others. I think when you know that he''s looking at rings, but have no clue how far along he is, can make the wait more difficult...because you don''t know how long it takes.

Chances are if he''s waiting until May or so, he''s waiting because he wants to make it PERFECT for you and he''s just trying to figure it all out in his head (the ring, the timing, the location, the mood, the words, etc.) If he already knows, and it''s before May, he probably has some big surprise for you. So what little advice i can give is this- enjoy these last few days/weeks/months as an LIW and remember he''s prolly as nervous as you are (if not more!)!

 

[BlueSki231]

YOU''RE CRAZY!!






and I''M CRAZY TOO!!

haha you are definitely not alone i can tell ya that. it''s soo natural to try and read into every little thing when you want something to happen so badly. I''ve done it and half the time these supposed clues never meant anything at all.

If he''s determined to keep it a secret, and if he''s a good secret keeper, i think all this clue analyzing is just pointless and tiring emotionally. You end up getting your hopes up, just to be let down for the nth time. I think it starts to lead to resentment.

Buuuuuuuut I''m starting to babble

. I suppose I don''t have much advice cause I''m in the same boat in a way. Hey, at least you are a step ahead and you KNOW he''s been saving! That''s a huge step! Hang in there and just try and enjoy your time together. It really does sound like a proposal is coming soon!!

 

[tlh]

Knowing that he has been saving for it for some time should make you feel good.
I understand the antsyness... but it is strange... guys really get involved in this process.
All of it is a little stressful. Plus too, you mention that he is not one to sit on money. Maybe for the first time he feels like he has a safety net, that could protect you both if something bad were to happen, and he wants to keep that for when he proposes.
I know a guy that told his girl that he just didn''t have the money, and he was working two jobs. All the money from the second job went to cover the ring for her. (I worked w/ him at his primary job, which was well paying on its own.) He told her he hit some financial difficulties that he had not anticipated and she;d have to wait a little longer. Well... he did this so that he could get her an even larger ring than they had originally budgetted for. He just felt that he wanted to give her exactly what she wanted, and for her to be overwhelmed and surprised by it all. The puppy was 2.25 carats.
So sometimes you just DONT KNOW what is going on in your man''s head.

Hugs, I know the waiting sucks. That is why they call it ANTI-cipation instead of PRO-cipitation...

 

[Italiahaircolor]

If the surprise factor is big for him, don''t ruin it. Let the purposal come when it is meant to...and it will be special, and very much worth waiting for.

 

[fieryred33143]

Hang in there hun. It happens to a lot of LIWs. I know that before my engagement, every single opportunity was an engagement opportunity in my mind...our anniversary trip to NY, going to the Keys, going to the beach, even him saying he cooked me dinner...everything would drive me nuts.

If you have both spoken about marriage and you know in your heart that when he says he wants to marry you, he''s being honest then your time will come.

 

[Bia]

Date: 1/28/2009 11:41:44 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
If the surprise factor is big for him, don''t ruin it. Let the purposal come when it is meant to...and it will be special, and very much worth waiting for.

AMEN AMEN AMEN

If he wants to surprise you, let him. It is soooo worth the wait, trust me

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 1/28/2009 11:41:44 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
If the surprise factor is big for him, don''t ruin it. Let the purposal come when it is meant to...and it will be special, and very much worth waiting for.

Something I TRY SO HARD to tell myself everyday...........

 

[JR320]

I''m in a very similar situation. We are also LDR, so I know there is a limited number of days when it could happen. I also know that he has hit the savings mark and the time-frame mark. But each weekend passes with nothing new... But he has mysteriously stopped asking me ring related questions over the past 2-3 weeks. I also have the fantasy of coming up from work and him being on one knee in my living room. Haha.

I''m trying to be very careful of the resentment factor that Namaste referenced.

But I think the advice to let him do it in his own way is the best for both you and me because I know the surprise is really important to him and it is to me too. It''s just so freaking hard to keep my mouth shut!!!

I appreciate you girls!

 

[chocolatefudge]

I understand exactly how you feel. My SO is also determined for it to be a surprise! Put yourself in your boyfriend''s shoes. If you had the money and he knew but you wanted to surprise him what would you do?

1) Leave it a little longer to throw him off the scent?
2) Ask silly questions (like one about smaller ring better colour) to throw him of the scent.
3) Act like following weekends are nothing special to throw him off the scent....

He probably knows exactly what you are thinking and is trying to make sure you don''t spoil the surprise. I think it will happen soon!! Maybe he will just appear as you keep imagining, or change plans suddenly.
Hop this is making sense now!! I''m just trying to say I think it is coming soon!

Good luck!!

 

[Blackpaw]

Date: 1/27/2009 10:43:43 PM
Author:laughwithme
I am going crazy, and being a naturally nosy and inquisitive and intelligent person, I simply cannot stop myself from overanalyzing every possible ''clue''.

B saved for a LONG time and I know for a fact that within the last 3 or so weeks, he hit the ''mark''. I guess I hoped that as soon as he hit the mark, he would buy like that day and I would totally sense the excitement and some nervousness and he would call and say ''let''s getaway this weekend'' and that would be it.

I''m such a dreamer.

Basically, I''ve got nothing so far. I''ve sent him a few more diamond links, and no real reaction to those. Well, for one he did actually say, ''should I get you something around that size or something smaller, with better color?'' and that really depressed me b/c we''ve only talked about this forty freaking times and so I felt back at square one.

Anyway, we''ve planned out what weekends to see each other thru the end of May (we are in LDR until then) and I''ve been particularly hoping he would set some weekend plans throughout February or March...but nothing. While planning, he just said ''I don''t really care, you choose who drives when'' and I want him to be like ''WAIT! I have to come XYZ weekend.'' So this makes me feel like he really doesn''t have any idea or plan to do it soon.

He is not the kind of guy to sit on money, BTW.

Someone tell me I''m crazy and he is surely scheming behind my back, because he is a very wonderful guy and he''s said in the past he is determined to surprise me. Sadly enough, every night I come home from work, part of me wishes he will be in my living room surrounded by candles and down on one knee. AGHHH!

Love it

i have the odd guilty daydream along these lines.

well i dont know what to say, apart from its totally ok by me that you''re crazy, and im sure something is in the works for you - be happy about that part at least

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 1/27/2009 10:43:43 PM
Author:laughwithme

I''ve sent him a few more diamond links, and no real reaction to those. Well, for one he did actually say, ''should I get you something around that size or something smaller, with better color?'' and that really depressed me b/c we''ve only talked about this forty freaking times and so I felt back at square one.

I know the wait is hard but these things take time!

I wouldn''t send him anymore diamond links if I were you. Trust that he knows what you want and can use the ones he''s already got as examples. What if he already bought a great diamond and then starts second-guessing himself based on a slight color or clarity difference from the one''s you sent?

I think you''re going to be surprised with a gorgeous ring sooner than you think!