Teenage Depression and Anxiety

[Gussie]

Where to start - my daughter has been depressed for almost a year now. It started before Covid but has gotten a lot worse recently. Meds and therapy aren't working and it seems to be acute. 3 professionals have recommended inpatient treatment. We are admitting her tomorrow and I am so scared. I am at a loss for words at how terrible this feels. Anyone with advise or wisdom?

 

[Arcadian]

I have no words of wisdom, Its hard, this whole thing has been very hard on lots of people Lots of hugs.

 

[inne]

I am so sorry that your daughter is going through this. I was that teenage girl once and I can only imagine how frightening it must be as a mother. I have very little wisdom to offer, as my own treatment story is very very long and not one that is particularly full of hope. Just love your daughter and look out for her. Listen to your instincts and listen to your daughter. Doctors can be great. But they're not always right, and it's so important that your daughter has an advocate.

 

[nala]

Sending you hugs and reassurance that you are doing the right thing. Just be there for her and monitor her treatment. Stay strong. Treatment goes a long way. I have a niece who has come a long way.

 

[canuk-gal]

Hello:

No words. If I could do something to ease you and your families challenges, I would. BIG HUGS.

Healing vibes across the miles.

kind regards--Sharon

 

[jaysonsmom]

Where to start - my daughter has been depressed for almost a year now. It started before Covid but has gotten a lot worse recently. Meds and therapy aren't working and it seems to be acute. 3 professionals have recommended inpatient treatment. We are admitting her tomorrow and I am so scared. I am at a loss for words at how terrible this feels. Anyone with advise or wisdom?

Hugs @Gussie, I don't have any words of wisdom or advise, but we are also going through our own journey and you are not alone. My daughter has been depressed for 3 years. We are taking things day by day, and she sees a weekly therapist. <3 <3 <3

 

[GreenPapaya]

I am so sorry. Sending many prayers and hugs to you and your daughter.
I have a 16 year old daughter and we've been trying to manage depression and anxiety since she was 13 . Everything seems to worsen after she started menstruating. We've been seeing therapists for a while. Right now she's regressed back to baby speak and haven't been turning in schoolwork or homework. I don't know what the future holds. Just taking it a day or hour at a time. I feel very sad and overwhelm at times. I don't have any advice. Just that I can sympathize. I can't talk to my coworkers whose kids are in college preparation stage. Or to my close friends who have young kids and don't really understand why my daughter isn't like the stereotypical Asian kids.

 

[LilAlex]

So sorry! A few in my family have struggled and it has gotten better with time and help. Those are such fraught years under even the best of circumstances. I'm glad she has you!

 

[seaurchin]

So sorry, Gussie. Hugs. It's just hard when your child is not doing well, no way around it. But she will be where she needs to be to recover. You are definitely doing the right thing for her. Is there any support there for parents, so you can continue to help her after she returns home? Please keep us posted.

 

[Cluless]

@Gussie, no words of wisdom here only that I'm sorry and offering you hugs, hang in there

 

[monarch64]

Non-addictive buspirone, trazodone to aid sleep. Once you get the sleep thing worked out if that's an issue you can get to the next step which is figuring out the extent of the depression (and probably anxiety). Inpatient treatment seems intense for a teen but you'll figure it out. For me, that would be total overkill and would have set me back when I was that age.

ETA: When I was 14-18 I was depressed and had major anxiety issues but I hid it well and no one ever knew until I was 17, right before I graduated high school. Mine took the form of a raging eating disorder. I attended outpatient therapy 4 times a week for my entire summer between graduating high school and starting college. It was really helpful to be around others who were experiencing similar things. I was never ever medicated. I drove myself to and from sessions. That gave me a sense of autonomy and I felt like I was in charge and in control of my treatment which was really important to me in my healing process. My parents came a few times. Not sure if that was healthy or not. Anyway, I used the tools I was taught during those few months for the rest of my life so far. Really helpful; I'm not sure how I would've felt being 100% hospitalized. In fact, I just don't agree with that at all, not for a teen. I'm sorry. I wish you and your daughter the best.

 

[Calliecake]

Oh Gussie, I am so sorry. Hugs. A teenage relative attempted suicide. She was hospitalized and went thru therapy. I wish I could say more but I’m not comfortable sharing her story.

Please know you are doing the right thing in getting her help. If she isn’t comfortable with her doctors, please find professionals she connects with and trusts. Please make sure she feels comfortable with those who are treating her.

 

[caf]

@Gussie - hang in there. I’ve experienced the depression and anxiety with my DD. The best guidance I can give is patience, love and understanding. Also, if she’ll let you, a hug goes a long way. For you and her. Gentle hugs to you.

 

[Slickk]

I have no wise words to impart but I send lots of virtual mom ((hugs)) and vibes you and your daughter’s way. What a painful decision for you all.

 

[House Cat]

The hospital can be a safe place for someone who is suffering from depression. You meet people who are in your shoes and can relate. You are able to rest. You can unplug. Also, your meds are managed everyday. This was my experience.

my son has been depressed since his concussion a year ago. He is finally allowing us to put him on meds. I know the helpless feeling of watching your child suffer. I’m so sorry.

 

[Gussie]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I feel very hopeful that they will be able to help her. When she started having suicidal thoughts, we gave her the option of therapy/medication or inpatient treatment. It wasn't as acute then and she opted for therapy/meds. Unfortunately it hasn't worked but she has been telling us that she is better. She is a high achiever so it wasn't obvious to me that she was regressing. This morning (before I even had my coffee), she came to me hysterical and said that none of it was working and it had never gotten better all this time. She requested inpatient treatment. I think she is as scared as I am, maybe more. I am very grateful that she leveled with me. I am also hopeful that she is willing to accept treatment. She has shown a lot of maturity in asking for help.

 

[jaysonsmom]

My daughter is on the BC pill (for hormonal balance) and she also takes 5-HTP and Melatonin supplements to calm her mind and help with sleep. We have yet to start prescription drugs. It has not been easy, and I’m really commend you for sharing your fears and struggles. Will pray for your daughter and family.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I am so sorry. Sending many prayers and hugs to you and your daughter.
I have a 16 year old daughter and we've been trying to manage depression and anxiety since she was 13 . Everything seems to worsen after she started menstruating. We've been seeing therapists for a while. Right now she's regressed back to baby speak and haven't been turning in schoolwork or homework. I don't know what the future holds. Just taking it a day or hour at a time. I feel very sad and overwhelm at times. I don't have any advice. Just that I can sympathize. I can't talk to my coworkers whose kids are in college preparation stage. Or to my close friends who have young kids and don't really understand why my daughter isn't like the stereotypical Asian kids.

@dizzyakira, I can relate to most of your post. Hugs to you too. My daughter is also 16 and depressed for 3 years. Praying that we all get through this!

 

[123ducklings]

No wisdom, just sending you good vibes for strength and healing. I am so sorry your daughter (and you, and you family) is hurting.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Sending healing thoughts your daughter's way Gussie

I think its time for a groups hug

 

[Gussie]

@dizzyakira, @jaysonsmom, @House Cat, @caf, prayers for you and your kiddos. It's horrible to see your child in pain but hopefully we will all get through this. Hugs to all of you.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

My heart breaks than any childhod is filled with anxiety and depression
My nephew was about 8 when he had to be admired to inpatient child psychiatric care after self harming
The earthquakes didn't help either but he did get the care he needed at that time that his frazzled parents couldn't provide

 

[Snowdrop13]

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and I’m glad your daughter was able to do that. Parenting teens is hard enough at the best of times, it is so much more difficult right now. She will get better.

Make sure you look after yourself, too.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I'm sorry @Gussie . No words of wisdom.

You're a wonderful mother and your wonderful daughter is very very mature that she can ask for help and clearly trusts you. This is so very important and the first step to truly helping her heal.
If she asks for inpatient care I'm sure it's the right thing for her at the moment.

 

[lissyflo]

I haven’t got any words of wisdom but have bucket loads of empathy for you from my family experience. Your daughter came to you for help and wants treatment, which is a huge positive. Take baby steps, focus on each day and know you can get through this as a strong and loving family. Please keep us updated, we’re all thinking of you.

 

[Austina]

I’m so sorry @Gussie, what an awful time for your family, It sounds as though your daughter understands what’s happening to her and by acknowledging that she needs more help, that’s got to be a very positive move. I hope that by being an inpatient, the change of environment and the help she’ll get there will be more beneficial than trying to manage her depression at home.

Try to take the time while she’s away to decompress from the stress, I’m sure it must’ve been extremely difficult dealing with this over the past year. Take care.

 

[missy]

I'm so sorry @Gussie. Sending you and your daughter many good wishes and gentle hugs. The fact she wants treatment is a huge and important step in the direction of healing and getting better. All the best to your daughter and your family. (((Hugs))).

 

[Ally T]

Asking for help is a huge and brave step for her, as it means she acknowledges there is a problem and wants to resolve it. I hope the hospital stay is successful and gives her the tools to deal with her problems.

Bug hugs to you all.

 

[ecf8503]

My daughter has been struggling with depression and anxiety for years. She was on medication for such, but it didn't help that much, and she was still completely unmotivated in regards to schoolwork. All she wanted to do was sleep, which I think was her way of dealing with it.

Enter a very good psychiatric nurse practitioner. She suspected my daughter may have ADHD (Inattentive type). We tested her, and sure enough, she fit the profile. We started her on Ritalin - she took one dose, and was so wired - elevated heart rate and everything - she couldn't stand it. So we changed to Concerta - and it has been a godsend. She's not as depressed, keeps more normal hours, and is finally motivated to do her schoolwork - and do it well! Thankfully, as she is a senior this year.

I don't know what her trajectory in life would have been had it not been for this astute PNP. The medication has been like a miracle - she's a completely new person! And she knows it, and has told us as such. She actually *takes* her meds now because they've helped her so much.

It sounds like your daughter may need additional diagnostics and perhaps different or additional medications. Hope is out there - don't give up! Just love her.

 

[yennyfire]

I’m so sorry Gussie! My family recently went through something similar and it’s heart wrenching and massively anxiety producing, I know. Sending you and your family hugs, strength and prayers.