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Teenage Depression and Anxiety

Does any of her depression or her desire for inpatient services have to do with (harms of) social media? If so, maybe take her on a relaxing retreat where you put electronic devices away and see how that affects her.
 
Sending good wishes out to your daughter and hope that you find an effective treatment.

FWIW I was hospitalized in my early 20’s and medicated for a few years for anxiety and depression, it’s a tough road but the right treatment plan makes all the difference. I think it really helps if she is willing to talk with a counselor about her feelings but it can take a bit to find one she is comfortable with so she can really open up.

Our kids are going through a lot these days and so are parents but it will all be okay with time.
 
I did an inpatient treatment at the age of 17. It was good for me to get out of my home, away from friends and focus on myself and my feelings with a therapist. It was not overkill, as I was suicidal. I had been depressed for 5 years, no meds up til that point. I think people feel you will snap out of it. Depression is a beast. I’ve been on and off meds for 26 years but never found one that didn’t drive me nuts with side effects until a doctor suggested genetic testing. My results showed that every anti depressant I’d ever been on was a wrong match for me! The one they put me on has made a world of difference for me! Im very thankful for that one doctor who listened to me in a time of great need and suggested the genetic test. And for a loving husband who can insist on getting me treatment when I’m too out of it to realize how desperately i need it.
You are doing to right thing for your daughter. You are responding to her cries for help. It took a lot of courage for her to come to you and by responding to her she will know she can trust you. It’s going to be a hard journey but by supporting her in this first step you are cementing a foundation of trust and love with her. ❤️
 
So sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with depression. I’m glad you have a supportive relationship and can talk to each other. Hugs to you both.
 
I'm so sorry :( I grew up with siblings that had to go through this many times. I'm thinking of you guys. Take good care of yourself. It's a good sign that she asked you for help instead of having to be forced. Hugs! I hope they will let you see her even if just for a few minutes soon!
 
I’m sorry to hear that your daughter is going through this. Prayers for you and your family @Gussie
 
I'm so sorry to hear what your family has been going through @Gussie. I have three kids and, obviously lots of friends with kids, and I think I can honestly say that 90% of us have dealt with this in one form or another. I don't have experience with in-patient treatment, but I would think that one advantage would be access to really good psychiatric diagnosticians. My own experience with my son, backed up by what I've heard from a lot of other people, is that getting the right meds or combination of meds can be a complicated equation of trial and error. Combining that with intensive therapy would, I'm guessing, provide a good environment for her to get her footing. Plus, if you've been very anxious about her (how could you not be?), it might be feeding into her anxiety if she's worrying about you or about being a burden, and an opportunity for you all to relax and take a deep breath might help with something of a reset. My own experience with high achieving kids is that it's hard to assess where they are on a day to day basis as they're good at functioning at high level even while feeling awful.

It's so good that she has felt able to talk to you and knows you'll be proactive in helping her. People say there's a much higher incidence of anxiety and depression among teens and young adults these days, but honestly, I wonder how much of that is that they're able to talk about things more openly? When I think back on my own life, I know I was an absolute ball of anxiety in my teens and even college-- I remember vividly lying in bed with my heart pounding, terrified of death and failure and not meeting expectations, ruminating on everything frightening and unjust in the world, feeling paralysed by fear and hopelessness, dreading every day. And while I had very loving parents, it never occurred to me to talk about it. I just spent half my time alone in my head, a total wreck, feeling sure I was different from everyone else in the world, and the rest of my time being as busy and accomplished as possible, because that kept the other stuff--temporarily--at bay.

One thing our doctor told me when my son was struggling, that really helped, is that there are times in the teen/young adult years where there are peaks in anxiety-producing hormones, and that often, there is actually a physical component to their anxiety.

The good news, is that all the kids I know have come through this. And, speaking for myself, I think having learned to manage those tendencies has given me some really valuable life skills--and made me very empathetic. I also want to second @ecf8503. If you haven't explored ADD, I would encourage a conversation with her doctors about it.

Sending you family hugs and good thoughts.
 
You're doing the right things. Keep the dialog open and let your daughter know that her feelings are real and nothing to be ashamed of. You'll all work it out hopefully sooner than later.

I wanted to add a bit of an anecdote too. Another poster mentioned that their daughter was treated for depression and anxiety and turned out to have a less common type of ADHD. This happened to my daughter as well. DD2 was diagnosed as an adult, but she was always a social butterfly and had troubles in school. DD1 was a perfect student with good grades but suffered we thought from depression. She was also diagnosed with ADHD. She's totally the opposite of her sister, so we hadn't considered it. Treatment for both ended up being a complete success with different ADHD medications. You just never know until you know?
 
A female family member of mine in her 20’s was diagnosed with unipolar depression years ago and was treated for it. She got worse. She switched to another doctor who diagnosed bipolar depression. She’s being treated for it and is doing much, much better. Sometimes it can be tough to get an accurate diagnosis.

Anyway, I’m thinking of you and your daughter, @Gussie. Prayers.
 
Hi @Gussie

Just thinking of you and your daughter. How did it go today? How are you doing?
 
@Gussie, Thinking of you and your family. I hope the day went as well as can be expected today. Big hugs.

I’m grateful your daughter came to you and told you how she was feeling. She sounds like a strong girl.
 
Gussie, sending warm wishes to you and your family. I am encouraged by the fact that she has asked for help and you are so willing to help her find the right treatment. I know folks that have suffered with this and agree with others that the right treatment plan is so important. Meds can be tricky and adjustments are necessary but hopefully they land on the right combination for her quickly. Adolescence can be hard and this just exacerbates it.
Don't ignore yourself - caretakers suffer just as the patients do. As time permits, you might find a therapist for yourself to help you navigate through it all and to keep yourself strong for her. Hugs!
 
@Gussie I'm so sorry you and your daughter and your family are going through this. Being a teen is tough enough. Add a pandemic, being stuck at home 24/7 and extreme uncertainty, its is enough to make anyone suffer. I am praying for your family. You are a loving, patient and understanding mom. And she can see that and feels safe enough to trust you with her feelings and ask you for help.
 
@Gussie . Our son has been depressed since middle school. It has been an uphill journey and still no answers. Since he was 12 years old, our lives have been turned upside down. Matthew is now 27 and functioning. We have been with him through this entire journey. As a parent, it's frustrating that you are not able to "fix" what's going on in their head. I wish you strength and the ability to handle this as it will have an effect on your family. Peace to you and I wish I could offer more words of wisdom. It's similar to a cancer, every case is different. Peace be with you.
 
Thank you all so much for your prayers, thoughts, and sharing your stories. It truly helps to know that I'm not alone and that there are such positive outcomes.

Yesterday went well. She seemed comfortable with all of the people we met during admission. Due to Covid, there are stricter rules so I didn't get to meet many on her team face to face. I have spoken with them on the phone though and I believe she is in good hands. One stroke of unbelievable luck (or a sign from above more likely) is that we have a contact there. We go skiing every year with my cousin and her family. A few years ago there was another couple that was there with them. It turns out that the guy is the chief of the inpatient program! He told me to call him day or night if I have any questions or worries. Although I don't know him that well, my cousin's best friend is his wife. When I spoke with my cousin, she assured me that she is in very good hands. It really made me feel encouraged. Small world for sure.

They issued her a flip phone for the duration and she is able to call at certain times throughout the day. She called last night and sounded very good considering the circumstances. I think she is relieved to be getting help.

I was so exhausted after the day that I went to bed at 8 last night!

Thank each of you again. I appreciate you all. I will try to post updates as we go through this.
 
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Gussie said:
Thank you all so much for your prayers, thoughts, and sharing your stories. It truly helps to know that I'm not alone and that there are such positive outcomes.

Yesterday went well. She seemed comfortable with all of the people we met during admission. Due to Covid, there are stricter rules so I didn't get to meet many on her team face to face. I have spoken with them on the phone though and I believe she is in good hands. One stroke of unbelievable luck (or a sign from above more likely) is that we have a contact there. We go skiing every year with my cousin and her family. A few years ago there was another couple that was there with them. It turns out that the guy is the chief of the inpatient program! He told me to call him day or night if I have any questions or worries. Although I don't know him that well, my cousin's best friend is his wife. When I spoke with my cousin, she assured me that I am in very good hands. It really made me feel encouraged. Small world for sure.

They issued her a flip phone for the duration and she is able to call at certain times throughout the day. She called last night and sounded very good considering the circumstances. I think she is relieved to be getting help.

I was so exhausted after the day that I went to bed at 8 last night!

Thank each of you again. I appreciate you all. I will try to post updates as we go through this.
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So pleased it is going smoothly so far and thank you for the happy update. It is wonderful the chief of the inpatient program is someone you have a good connection with! That is amazing and yes it is a small world. I am keeping continued good thoughts for your DD and sending you lots of good wishes too. Hang in there @Gussie we are all rooting for you and your DD.
 
Gussie said:
Thank you all so much for your prayers, thoughts, and sharing your stories. It truly helps to know that I'm not alone and that there are such positive outcomes.

Yesterday went well. She seemed comfortable with all of the people we met during admission. Due to Covid, there are stricter rules so I didn't get to meet many on her team face to face. I have spoken with them on the phone though and I believe she is in good hands. One stroke of unbelievable luck (or a sign from above more likely) is that we have a contact there. We go skiing every year with my cousin and her family. A few years ago there was another couple that was there with them. It turns out that the guy is the chief of the inpatient program! He told me to call him day or night if I have any questions or worries. Although I don't know him that well, my cousin's best friend is his wife. When I spoke with my cousin, she assured me that she is in very good hands. It really made me feel encouraged. Small world for sure.

They issued her a flip phone for the duration and she is able to call at certain times throughout the day. She called last night and sounded very good considering the circumstances. I think she is relieved to be getting help.

I was so exhausted after the day that I went to bed at 8 last night!

Thank each of you again. I appreciate you all. I will try to post updates as we go through this.
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This would comfort and reassure me as well! Wonderful news!

Please be kind to yourself and try to rest as much as possible. Hugs across the miles
 
Gussie said:
Thank you all so much for your prayers, thoughts, and sharing your stories. It truly helps to know that I'm not alone and that there are such positive outcomes.

Yesterday went well. She seemed comfortable with all of the people we met during admission. Due to Covid, there are stricter rules so I didn't get to meet many on her team face to face. I have spoken with them on the phone though and I believe she is in good hands. One stroke of unbelievable luck (or a sign from above more likely) is that we have a contact there. We go skiing every year with my cousin and her family. A few years ago there was another couple that was there with them. It turns out that the guy is the chief of the inpatient program! He told me to call him day or night if I have any questions or worries. Although I don't know him that well, my cousin's best friend is his wife. When I spoke with my cousin, she assured me that she is in very good hands. It really made me feel encouraged. Small world for sure.

They issued her a flip phone for the duration and she is able to call at certain times throughout the day. She called last night and sounded very good considering the circumstances. I think she is relieved to be getting help.

I was so exhausted after the day that I went to bed at 8 last night!

Thank each of you again. I appreciate you all. I will try to post updates as we go through this.
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That is a positive outcome! Was thinking of you and your daughter all day yesterday. Sounds like your daughter is in good hands, now go take care of yourself and the rest of the family :)
 
So glad you have a trusted contact there - that would mean a lot to me! Glad that the admission went smoothly and that she can be in touch with you when she needs or wants to be - that is a comfort for both of you. Take care and know that we are all sending good healing vibes for her!
 
Hi Gussie, I don't really know you but this post really resonated and I'm sending you lots of love during this tricky time, and hopefully a small piece of encouragement. The daughter of good friends of mine was recently admitted for inpatient psychiatric care (which was obviously a really hard decision for the whole family). Its been transformative for her, and three months later she's got a whole new set of tools to help with her struggles. I really hope that your daughter has the same experience excellent care, helpful doctors and is able to access new resources that will help her for the years ahead. It's a huge step and I hope it makes all the difference for all of you. Xxx
 
The outpouring of support, personal testimonials, nonjudgmental suggestions, prayers and openness of these posts really highlight how deep, meaningful, and vital this forum is. We all have become friends across the internet and deeply care about one another and our families. Truly it is not just about jewelry. Thoughts and prayers are with you all.
 
Just seeing this Gussie...I'm so glad she came to you for help. I'm hoping the hospital finds the right treatment/meds to set her on a
positive path. I'm also glad you have a "friend" that you can go to if you have questions (talk about luck). Wishing you strength and comfort
during these tough times. Dont forget to take care of yourself.
 
Thanks everyone. I haven't updated in a few days but she is doing well. We had our first family session today and it went smoothly. I only broke down once! We are all learning to communicate better. She doesn't like talking about her struggles so the team is helping her with that. They have switched up her meds and she is sleeping better (trazedone and melatonin). She still has some anxiety and depression but hopefully the new antidepressant will start working. One day at a time.
 
Gussie said:
Thanks everyone. I haven't updated in a few days but she is doing well. We had our first family session today and it went smoothly. I only broke down once! We are all learning to communicate better. She doesn't like talking about her struggles so the team is helping her with that. They have switched up her meds and she is sleeping better (trazedone and melatonin). She still has some anxiety and depression but hopefully the new antidepressant will start working. One day at a time.
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It is a process and it sounds like it is going well with progress being made. Don't worry about the breakdown - parents are just human and it is ok for her to know that you get overwhelmed too. Sometimes I think that anxiety/depression issues make the patient feel like they are suffering in a bubble without ever realizing that it affects the entire family. Not a doctor but I do think that seeing things from a different perspective other than just your own can be helpful and enlightening.

I have high hopes for your family and continue to send warm, healing vibes your way.
 
It’s definitely going to take some time, but it will be worth it in the end. I’m so glad your daughter seems to be doing well and I’m so happy that you have an inside contact...I’m sure that brings you some peace of mind! Continuing to pray for you and your family..... ❤️
 
Thanks @jaysonsmom. I can't say this hasn't been hard on all of us but I am hopeful that she is improving. She gets out of the hospital on Monday. I still can't believe she has been there almost 5 weeks. But she definitely needed the intensive help that inpatient provided and I am grateful for her team. She will begin IOP next week. She is working very hard in therapy and wants to get better. Poor kid has anxiety, major depression, a panic disorder, and insomnia. Puberty, genetics, and COVID (along with typical middle school girl crap) - it was too much for her. Please keep us in your prayers.
 
Gussie said:
Thanks @jaysonsmom. I can't say this hasn't been hard on all of us but I am hopeful that she is improving. She gets out of the hospital on Monday. I still can't believe she has been there almost 5 weeks. But she definitely needed the intensive help that inpatient provided and I am grateful for her team. She will begin IOP next week. She is working very hard in therapy and wants to get better. Poor kid has anxiety, major depression, a panic disorder, and insomnia. Puberty, genetics, and COVID (along with typical middle school girl crap) - it was too much for her. Please keep us in your prayers.
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Will definitely keep your family in my prayers. I was wondering if she would be able to spend the holidays with the family. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if you’re from the US? I’m glad to hear she will be home next Monday!

It is hard and it is a struggle with teens. I thought of you because this being Thanksgiving week, my daughter didn’t meet with her therapist and had meltdown when I accused her of acting funny...and then I found vape pens in her backpack....and everything went downhill from there. Dh threatened to kick her out (at 16) and my poor son who came home for the holidays hid in his room...we could use some prayers too.
 
jaysonsmom said:
Will definitely keep your family in my prayers. I was wondering if she would be able to spend the holidays with the family. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if you’re from the US? I’m glad to hear she will be home next Monday!

It is hard and it is a struggle with teens. I thought of you because this being Thanksgiving week, my daughter didn’t meet with her therapist and had meltdown when I accused her of acting funny...and then I found vape pens in her backpack....and everything went downhill from there. Dh threatened to kick her out (at 16) and my poor son who came home for the holidays hid in his room...we could use some prayers too.
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I'm sorry it was a rough day. I am trying to take it all one day at a time. Teenagers are so difficult- one foot in adulthood, the other foot still in childhood. I suppose there is some grand reason why they are the way they are. Prayers for you and your family. And have a Happy Thanksgiving!
 
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