Tax refund for ring?

[wwmd8118]

I had a random thought this morning and I thought I'd go to the source, i.e., other LIWs. I was wondering if the number of engagements spikes after tax refund time. I know that not everyone gets a refund, but I figure that of the people who do, some must use it for the bling, right?! So, what do you ladies think? Anyone here think that a tax refund is going to help their ring fund and maybe put the proposal a little closer?

I think that in my case this is where a good portion of the ring fund is coming from, and as much as I try not to do this, I sort of have it in my head that he'll pop the question shortly after receiving his refund. I'm working on not setting imaginary deadlines in my head...but it's still fun to think about sometimes.

 

[amc80]

I know for a fact this is where his refund went

 

[confusedaisy]

That's where the bf's refund went too.

Hmm. A spike in purchases could mean a spike in prices too.

 

[kateydid05]

My boyfriend ended up owing on his taxes this year so....no.

 

[Anonymous]

That's where mine came from (partially) and we were engaged at the end of March last year. How's that for fueling the fire?! Good luck ladies!!

 

[wwmd8118]

amc80 and confusedaisy ~ That's exciting!! Hopefully you guys will have good news to share very soon.

katey ~ Aww, boo! That stinks...but I'm sure he has a plan to make it happen. As long as he wasn't planning on a refund to help pay for it and then got surprised with having to pay, I'm sure he's got a way to pay for it mapped out. My BF knew his plan to pay for the ring 3 years ago - even though he had financial obstacles to overcome and he knew it would take a few years, he still had a plan.

Dust to all of you guys!!!

tammy - OMG you are definitely adding fuel to the fire, but I love it! I'm sort of hoping to be engaged by June so you are making me think my dream could come true. But, hey, even if it doesn't happen before then, I know it'll happen....but seriously, I want it to happen before then!

 

[kateydid05]

amc80 and confusedaisy ~ That's exciting!! Hopefully you guys will have good news to share very soon.

katey ~ Aww, boo! That stinks...but I'm sure he has a plan to make it happen. As long as he wasn't planning on a refund to help pay for it and then got surprised with having to pay, I'm sure he's got a way to pay for it mapped out. My BF knew his plan to pay for the ring 3 years ago - even though he had financial obstacles to overcome and he knew it would take a few years, he still had a plan.

Dust to all of you guys!!!

tammy - OMG you are definitely adding fuel to the fire, but I love it! I'm sort of hoping to be engaged by June so you are making me think my dream could come true. But, hey, even if it doesn't happen before then, I know it'll happen....but seriously, I want it to happen before then!

Thanks wwmd! I think if he got anything back it would have went to paying down more of his debt so I'm not really bummed about it. I asked him if he would like my refund for that and he shot that down because he wants to do it on his own. It's a shame though because he works so hard and feels like he should have more to show for it...until I sat down with him and showed him where all his money is going (bills ). Oh well...in time!

 

[wwmd8118]

[quote="Thanks wwmd! I think if he got anything back it would have went to paying down more of his debt so I'm not really bummed about it. I asked him if he would like my refund for that and he shot that down because he wants to do it on his own. It's a shame though because he works so hard and feels like he should have more to show for it...until I sat down with him and showed him where all his money is going (bills ). Oh well...in time![/quote]

You sound like you're exactly where I was last year. My BF had some debt from college (mostly credit card) that he was insistent on paying off before we get engaged. He knew it would take him 3 years to pay it off, so all of his money went to that over the past 3 years. So, even though I knew he wasn't buying a ring that second, I knew it was helping the cause. He paid all of it off in the Fall and then the ring fund got started, so I'm seeing progress. So, yes, in time, it will happen!

 

[mochamamasita]

Part of his refund is going to the ring. I'm beginning to think that we're going to see a lot of proposals in the next few months. Yay!!!

 

[TwinkleStar]

This is exciting that more ladies may move off the list soon!

 

[MayFlowers]

BF's refund went into the ring fund. Unfortunately, because of his mother's financial situation, some of it had to be taken out to help her.

*sigh* Someday it will finally happen

 

[Anonymous]

BF's refund went into the ring fund. Unfortunately, because of his mother's financial situation, some of it had to be taken out to help her.

*sigh* Someday it will finally happen

I've read your posts regarding your BF's mother and my heart just goes out to you both. I was in the same situation as your BF from the time that I was 16 to 24, well into my first marriage. I didn't put my foot down about it until I was pregnant with my first child and realized that there was just no way that I could continue to do her the disservice of bailing her out after she made bad financial decisions. It caused a LOT of problems and I have not had a close relationship with them because they mistook my lack of financial support for me not being a caring person anymore. It's sad, really.

Anyhow, I hope that your BF can get some help with learning to say no to her. I know how tough it is to feel obligated to help, but he's not her parent. He's not her spouse. If he's ever going to move forward with his life with you and have his own family, he needs to get some counseling from an impartial party that can help him see the situation with more clarity. It's simply not possible for him to be her financial safety net. Who is HIS safety net? If it's anything like my situation, there wasn't one and that means he's responsible for making sure he protects his financial security (and by extension, yours...especially in the future). He sounds like a really caring, supportive guy that is being taken advantage of. Now that's she's 100% comfortable with asking to "borrow", it's unlikely that she's going to be the one in the relationship to change the pattern. Only he can do that and it's a very, very difficult and uncomfortable task.

All the best and hugs to you both.

 

[MayFlowers]

BF's refund went into the ring fund. Unfortunately, because of his mother's financial situation, some of it had to be taken out to help her.

*sigh* Someday it will finally happen

I've read your posts regarding your BF's mother and my heart just goes out to you both. I was in the same situation as your BF from the time that I was 16 to 24, well into my first marriage. I didn't put my foot down about it until I was pregnant with my first child and realized that there was just no way that I could continue to do her the disservice of bailing her out after she made bad financial decisions. It caused a LOT of problems and I have not had a close relationship with them because they mistook my lack of financial support for me not being a caring person anymore. It's sad, really.

Anyhow, I hope that your BF can get some help with learning to say no to her. I know how tough it is to feel obligated to help, but he's not her parent. He's not her spouse. If he's ever going to move forward with his life with you and have his own family, he needs to get some counseling from an impartial party that can help him see the situation with more clarity. It's simply not possible for him to be her financial safety net. Who is HIS safety net? If it's anything like my situation, there wasn't one and that means he's responsible for making sure he protects his financial security (and by extension, yours...especially in the future). He sounds like a really caring, supportive guy that is being taken advantage of. Now that's she's 100% comfortable with asking to "borrow", it's unlikely that she's going to be the one in the relationship to change the pattern. Only he can do that and it's a very, very difficult and uncomfortable task.

All the best and hugs to you both.

Thank you so much for the support tammy. He is definitely being taken advantage of and it's very obvious to me. You are also correct that he has no safety net. He could probably ask his father for money, but he would have to be absolutely desperate to do so. However, at this time, he feels that he cannot say "no" to her because he does currently live with her. She does not charge him rent (but he is responsible for his own food, laundry, etc. She simply provides a room for him to live in and nothing else). So, when she asks him for money to help pay bills like rent and utilities, he feels obligated to help because he feels like she is doing him a favor by allowing him to live there mostly for free. He knows that once he moves out and we get our own place, that he will say no to her. Unfortunately, we can't move in together until I graduate and find a job since I am currently taking a leave from work to complete my last semester of school and wouldn't be able to afford anything.

We also are realizing that her situation is continually going down hill. She has been unemployed since 10/2009 and has made no effort to get a new job. When she goes for an interview, she (I think purposely) always asks for more money than they offer and therefore, loses the job offer. She has simply turned into one of the laziest people I have ever met. And I know that is a very nasty comment, but it is honestly the truth. She also recently got in a car wreck that totaled her car and has lied to us about it over and over. She said she wasn't hurt and refused services from the ambulance. But, now she is constantly complaining of pain and has refused to even feed the dog because she "just can't move". She also has scheduled an appointment for an MRI which she isn't even sure her insurance will cover. I don't even want to think about what will happen if it isn't covered. This I know BF will not pay for because he has asked her at least 10 times to call her insurance company and confirm it first.

I'm sorry this has completely gone off topic from the original question for the thread. It's just a very bad situation and she has honestly started to ruin our relationship with her because of it.

 

[lbbaber]

Hmmmmmm....funny question. We just ordered our E-ring and even though my bf makes decent money and we have alot in savings I cant help but think of my ring as our 'tax refund' ring--lol. He had a $14,000 refund and I got a $12,000 ring I know the timing is a coincidence but I will always have a fond place in my heart for tax season--lol. Maybe I can make a tradition out of 'tax season' jewelry.
By the way, I never knew you guys were over here (LIW)....neat sight. I wish I knew of you earlier!!!

 

[wwmd8118]

Hmmmmmm....funny question. We just ordered our E-ring and even though my bf makes decent money and we have alot in savings I cant help but think of my ring as our 'tax refund' ring--lol. He had a $14,000 refund and I got a $12,000 ring I know the timing is a coincidence but I will always have a fond place in my heart for tax season--lol. Maybe I can make a tradition out of 'tax season' jewelry.
By the way, I never knew you guys were over here (LIW)....neat sight. I wish I knew of you earlier!!!

That sounds like a great memory of tax season!!! I'm hoping I have a similar experience.