Talk to me about Doulas

[StacylikesSparkles]

Anyone having on with their current pregnancy or have used one with a previous pregnancy? I have a friend of a friend who is getting her certification and is able to offer her services for free. I just want to make sure its something worth having. I plan to have my husband and my Mom in the room with me for delivery. My midwife did suggest that as a first time mother, having a doula could be very helpful to me. Thoughts?

 

[Rosebloom]

I had a doula for my first birth and was extremely glad that I did. She was a huge support to me and my husband. We knew in advance that my second birth would be pretty complicated and that there would be a huge team of doctors on hand along with my midwife. For some reason we thought with all those people there we wouldn't need a doula. Big mistake. I completely regret not having one. If we have a third child, I will absolutely hire one. The going rate in Chicago is $1-2k. Honestly I would have paid much more even.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Do you think it would be too many people to have my husband, my Mom and the doula? I'm just worried about someone getting their feelings hurt.

 

[Rosebloom]

You are very thoughtful to think of others' feelings but truly this is all about you. What kind of birth are you hoping to have? If you would like a natural birth, it is important that you feel totally comfortable with the people in the room with you. You can't be distracted by worrying if the doula is stepping on mom's toes. For me, I needed to have open discussions with the various people involved before the birth so I made sure everyone was on the same page.

The birth process can be quite long (I believe first births average 24 hours). So having many helpers can be quite useful. They can take turns getting a little rest or eating. But it's totally about what you find the most comforting and helpful.

Have you taken a birth class or read books on the subject yet? If you'd like any book recommendations I'm happy to share my favorite titles.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I want to have as natural a birth as possible, which is the main reason I wanted a midwife to deliver. I don't want any sort of induction, no epidoral and no rushing me to deliver. I'm seriously hoping to be just like my mother and have a 10 hour labor I think I'm more worried about her feelings than the hubs, because he will go with pretty much anything I want during birth.

I've watched a few baby documentaries and read a few things, but haven't taken any classes just yet. Before this doula possibility came up, we figured that the hubs and my mom would be my doula. I am more than happy to hear about different birth options. Give me all you've got!

 

[dtnyc]

I had my DD (now 5) w/ an OB, it was a very intervention filled birth- pitocin induction, doc broke my water, epidural, vacuum assist, etc. Total time was just short of 23 hours. The whole thing was a hot mess, and I realized after the fact that it was rather terrifying.
So when I got pregnant w/ my DS I switched to a midwifery practice and planned on giving birth at their birth center which is adjacent to the OB wing of the hospital.
I did not have a doula, because my midwife assured me my 2nd labor and birth would be much easier than my first. She was right. My son was born 2.5 hrs after I got to the birth center and I didn't even have coached pushing. I was home about 4.5 hrs after he was born.
For my DD it would have been nice to have a doula as an advocate in the hospital- telling me I didn't have to show up for the induction, or encouraged me to ask about alternatives to pitocin, etc.
I can't imagine what a doula could have done during my brief time @ the birth center though- it would have been nice to have someone other than my husband to make me snacks, etc. while I was laboring at home, and I LOVE the idea of a post-partum doula for helping mama out in the immediate post-partum time.

 

[Skippy123]

I really thought I wanted a doula. I guess I am a weirdo because I decided I didn't want one. The less people for me, meant that I could focus on me. My sister had one and loved one. I guess it depends on you. I am sure at anytime you can tell her or whoever else is around to leave if you don't want them. I find birth very personal, so I see no problem having one and then changing your mind.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

dtnyc, this is EXACTLY why I want a midwife. I refuse to have pit and if I wasn't having a midwife, I feel like I would get more use out of the doula. So sorry you had to go through all that with baby number 1!!

Skippy, I was thinking the same thing. I mean, maybe if I were doing a homebirth, it would be more beneficial to me, but since I'm going to be in a hospital, with my midwife, husband and Mom, I'm wondering if I actually 'need' one. I've laid out all my plans for the midwife and I think that she isn't going to try to talk me into anything unwanted. Plus, I feel like between my husband and Mom, I should be covered in regards to support and all that.

 

[dtnyc]

I will say that my MW wasn't there the whole time holding my hand, rubbing my back and supporting me. My DH did that but he is relatively clueless, when my water broke he was shocked, he wasn't great at suggesting positions the way a doula would be, etc.
I know all moms are different but my mom would have been totally useless in both of my L&D situations. She would still be questioning why I was doing it this way, probably tell me to be quiet, etc, oh I can only imagine.

 

[SB621]

My neighbor is a doula and she scares me. She is not a balanced person, but I won't get into it. So I will just say screen your doula and ask for recommendations.

I think if you want a doula there to support you while an OB/MIDWIFE/DOCTOR delievers your baby that is fine. I'm not a fan of the crazy ppl who think the doula can do it for them.

I didn't have a doula for either of my births. I knew I wanted an epi and truly the epi took all the pain away. Plus my births were very short. My DS i was in active labor for just over 3 hours. My DD was 6hrs. I had a lot of trouble carryinng so labor was the easy part for me