Taking your own medicine...

[TravelingGal]

So we are all pretty good at giving good advice around here, but how many of us are good at taking our own advice? Or advice from others?

 

[bookworm21]

I''m awful at it. I know what everyone is telling me makes sense and that they''re right. And I also hear my gut telling me the same thing, but not as loudly. And I still don''t listen. *sigh* Hopefully one day soon....

 

[firebirdgold]

As long as it''s not from my mother, I''m pretty good at listening to other people''s advice. Followthrough isn''t one of my strong suits although I do try to follow the good advice, both mine and other people''s.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 1/26/2007 3:10:00 AM
Author: IndieJones
As long as it''s not from my mother, I''m pretty good at listening to other people''s advice. Followthrough isn''t one of my strong suits although I do try to follow the good advice, both mine and other people''s.

Hahaha... I''m like that too!

 

[strmrdr]

lol I suck at following my own advise or from others.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I''m lousy at taking my own advice! I always tell people to stay out of debt, but when my credit cards start screaming for oxygen, I give them a workout.

 

[poptart]

I''d like to think I''m getting a little better. Maybe. For instance, I have some serious anxiety issues, and with DH leaving on cruise it reached a whole new level. So, instead of constantly worrying to the point of not being able to do anything at all, I enrolled in a yoga class for stress relief. It was a complete turnaround. I still have anxiety problems sometimes, but it''s not a constant sick feeling ALL the time. I just took my own advice (after many years) and took the initiative to help my problem. Other than that though, I am really bad at listening to my own advice.

*M*

 

[perry]

Hmmm.... Interesting question.

I have not come here for a while looking for advice (most of that was several years ago); but there are issues that are discussed here that I have also pondered... (even if I don''t respond to that thread).

At the same time, there is often different points of view and advice that is offered.

Did I follow anyones specific advice... Perhaps on a few things.

What usually happens though is that I consider the different points of view and different stratagies offered and consider them as I chose what to do.

I can state that advice people have offered here has changed what I did in the end on several issues - because I had considered more different views than if I had never read the advice offered.

So everyone, keep on presenting your advice. It does help.

Perry

 

[TravelingGal]

I''m pretty good at observing and internalizing. I didn''t date much in my 20''s (a long distance relationship took up most of that era) but there''s nothing like seeing your friends go nutty in bad relationships to teach you what NOT to do. I do tend to follow my own advice (I am a self pep person) and also am willing to listen to other''s advice. However if I perceive them to be generally dumber than I am, I don''t listen. I always mull over advice and often do take the ones from those I admire. I am a big believer that other people can see things that I can''t, and they do it far more objectively.

 

[lumpkin]

I pretty much do take my own advice. I think I am very clear with myself and know exactly where my strengths and weaknesses are. Taking the advice of others? I listen, I consider, and then I decide.

I cannot say I do this 100% of the time, but probably 95%.

The other 5% of the time is lousy, though. I know exactly what I need to do regarding a few really important things, but I don''t do them (but I''m WORKING on that, LOL!), at least not consistently.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 1/26/2007 1:37:38 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m pretty good at observing and internalizing. I didn''t date much in my 20''s (a long distance relationship took up most of that era) but there''s nothing like seeing your friends go nutty in bad relationships to teach you what NOT to do. I do tend to follow my own advice (I am a self pep person) and also am willing to listen to other''s advice. However if I perceive them to be generally dumber than I am, I don''t listen. I always mull over advice and often do take the ones from those I admire. I am a big believer that other people can see things that I can''t, and they do it far more objectively.

LMAO!

Agreed.

 

[KimberlyH]

I am good at listening to advice, weighing it against what I know is right and best for me and then making a decision taking all things into consideration. I am more willing to listen to advice from my husband and parents than anyone else (because they know me best and I hold them in extremely high regard). I don''t ask for advice a whole lot, though.

In regards to my girfriends, I don''t ever give advice unless I am asked. My friends have all made choices that don''t agree with what I think is right or best, but I am not them and part of friendship is respecting one anothers differences. I learned this great lesson from one of my very closest friends who lives a life I can''t even imagine (in relation to her partner and the sacrifices she makes for him, raising her child, etc.) but I see how content she is and that''s all that matters at the end of the day, so I don''t share my thoughts and opinions. One of my friends believes she is capable of always dictating what is right for everyone else, but her own life is quite chaotic so it''s amusing to see her dispense advice when she would be better served taking some of it for herself. I took my cues regarding what not to do from her.

 

[diamondfan]

Kimberly you make an interesting point...I often see people doing some really nutty and unhealthy stuff (emotionally and physically) but if they seem content and fulfilled I try not to make my thoughts known. I guess ignorance is bliss, I am entitled to my views, but it is not MY life and if they seem happy who I am to argue?

 

[Mara]

i am good at listening to advice, taking it is another thing. most of it depends on who is telling me something, and how much i respect them. if it's someone random or someone whose life is all screwed up i always tend to think okay why would i listen to you? but if it's a close friend, or someone i love or a parent or someone i really respect or similar, i tend to listen and process for a while and then maybe act later.

in terms of telling others what i think....i tend to speak up but if people don't listen what can you do. i tend to not try to harp on things but sometimes it's hard keeping your mouth shut esp when it's someone important to you. but people will do what they do and that's it..i've definitely learned that.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/26/2007 1:57:55 AM
Author:TravelingGal
So we are all pretty good at giving good advice around here, but how many of us are good at taking our own advice? Or advice from others?

Depends on what it is.... one of my strongest pieces of advice is not to waste time on people who are dysfunctional and I''m *very* good at doing that myself.... I prefer to be the most dysfunctional person in my group and damnit if I am too! LOL

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 1/26/2007 10:48:31 PM
Author: diamondfan
Kimberly you make an interesting point...I often see people doing some really nutty and unhealthy stuff (emotionally and physically) but if they seem content and fulfilled I try not to make my thoughts known. I guess ignorance is bliss, I am entitled to my views, but it is not MY life and if they seem happy who I am to argue?

I think the only time I would step in is if a person I cared about was doing something harmful to themselves or their children. Otherwise I have a "live and let live" attitude when it comes to my friends/family. I''ve made some choices that they haven''t all agreed with, but because they respect me they have held their tongues, I owe them the same respect (unless they ask for my advice opinion).

My sister is going through some major turmoil w/ her in-laws and my husband gently reminded me that when I talk to her I should be willing to listen if she wants to talk about it but that she is an adult and this is something she and her husband need to work through without everyone''s input. It was a good reminder for me and he is absolutely right, she and her husband don''t need other people telling them what to do, they are adults and as a couple they need to work through this together.

This is a difficult thing when families are so close, and mine is. I talk to my mom and dad every day and my sister quite frequently and it''s hard to be so involved in one anothers lives and not say things at times.

In regards to giving advice here, I think it''s different. People come to a message board seeking out the opinions of others, and I am definitely opinionated and happy to share. But there are times when I''ll write a response to a post and then delete before hitting send because I don''t think the original poster actually wants to hear what I or anyone else has to say but instead is seeking affirmation that I can''t provide.

 

[larussel03]

I don''t necessarily take my own advice, but I''m good at taking others, if I ask for it. If they''re just giving opinions I often tune it out, b/c I''m just very "I''m gonna do it how I want to" if I know what I "should" do. If not, and I ask advice, I usually take it. Even from my mom! haha.

 

[diamondfan]

Kim, I agree...if someone was really endangering a child I would act immediately...but having three kids and being pretty cautious and protective, I have sadly seen that among my friends, not many of them are always as diligent as I am about the things that are more personal and up to each household. Sometimes people do not use good sense at all, and now that I know that, there a homes I will not allow my kids to go to. Their friends can come to MY home, and I know what is going on (for the most part). There are some grey areas about choice making, what works or is allowable in another home is NOT okay with me, like lack of supervision etc, but who I am to tell another parent that? As long as it is not illegal or immoral, they can leave three younger kids home alone with a 12 year old sibling, but MY kid is not going to be there. People can get very attitudey about stuff like that. I am an opinionated gal, I have very distinct views about things, BUT, I have also learned that not all people are receptive and get downright nasty if they feel defensive, so I try to step lightly...I might make my feelings known, and then I back off, and I make the choices that work for me, so I am not depending on someone else to do it!