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Taking Cost out of the Equation?

S

seaurchin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
3,916
Wondering if anyone else feels this way (or not) and any details you care to share. I've come around to wanting my jewelry, accessories and other items to not make a statement either way as far as money goes, whether they're real or faux. (I forgot this and bought a large lab emerald and now I'm trying to decide what to do with it, which is why it's on my mind right now).

It's not like I was ever at the level of being a (real or faux) Rolex or Birkin person anyway, but I just started to feel sort of embarrassed at anything that shouts "Expensive!" But then it's not like I want it to shout "Poor!" either lol. Of course, what shouts anything is also a matter of opinion but I'd rather if the main impression to me is just "Pretty!" without the cost or value factor being apparent. I'm less sure of my reasons because it's mostly just a feeling. But I guess it's a combo of that uncomfortable feeling socially, and also worry about drawing an attack or theft (which is how I can tell I'm getting old haha). We've also been travelling/moving around a lot for the past few years, which is probably what brought it on in the first place because then that kind of stuff becomes a real pain.

For my next ring, instead of the big lab emerald (my feeling would be the same about a mined emerald) I'd rather have a large, light green stone, for example, where the value of the stone wasn't apparent. I also long for a purse made from a tapestry or something along those lines, that's very pretty but, again, with the cost/value of it not apparent. Thoughts?
 
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Peridot ?
Cleopatra 's emeralds were in fact peridot
 
Smaller lab emerald for the ring and the larger one you have as pendant? Also the setting can make a difference if it reads “expensive”. Sometimes it’s trial and error finding your comfort zone =)2
 
I feel the same. For me, it started with the economic struggles brought on by the pandemic. I couldn't bring myself to wear anything expensive when the economy was in such a state of flux for my family and many others. Although these "expensive" items were purchased prior to the pandemic when times were good, I didn't feel comfortable wearing them when times were hard.

Almost two years later, I still find myself reaching for my modest pieces most often. And, I try to purchase preloved whenever I can. I've bought some lovely pieces from PS members over the past two years.
 
Most people don’t know what jewelry costs. Just was what you like. This is coming from a person who dresses down and has a modest social circle so I have zero concerns about screaming rich, lol.
 
I am drawn to anything unusual or uncommon. That's more interesting to me than how much something costs.
I'd rather have a cool antique than a cookie cutter piece.
 
For me, it's more of a safety issue. My neighborhood is very economically mixed. Single family houses on my block go for millions, but we're just 2 blocks away from the projects. When I walk in certain areas by myself, I'm often harassed for money, so try not to wear anything too noticeable when I know I'm going to be alone.
 
I would not know an expensive hand bag if it flew through the air and hit me in the face

i enjoy looking at what jewlery others are wearing
weather it being fun and colourful fashion pieces or an older lady loaded down with her best

i love looking at pearls the most
Size and luster call to me but i like seeing them all walking down the street

I follow what the royals are wearing (jrwlery not clothes) just to cheer my day up but i feel even they are especially mindful not to flaunt it in today's harder economic environment
 
I think I might be a bit of a dissenting voice in that I love luxury, especially things like beautifully made shoes, silk or cashmere scarves/shawls, luxury handbags etc and no matter what anyone says, there’s a certain level of social signalling going on when you choose to carry an LV bag versus a different canvas tote, for example. And I’m self aware enough to realise that I buy into it. Yes, I love the aesthetic (I wouldn’t buy expensive just to appear “rich”), and I wouldn’t buy something I didn’t personally like for the signalling aspect, but I do want it to be recognised, of course. For jewelry I honestly believe I would love diamonds even if they weren’t expensive or a social signal, and I’d still want big rocks and well designed and executed pieces, but knowing that my appearance reads “luxe” makes me happy.

Now, of course there’s a time and place for everything. I would deliberately not carry or wear anything expensive while volunteering for example. I also wouldn’t buy lab diamonds and pass them off as mined (to signal I can afford something more expensive than I actually can), or buy designer knock-offs. I wouldn’t NOT buy something just because it’s noticeably from a less expensive brand (a large chunk of my wardrobe is fast fashion or thrifted/vintage/hand me down items). I also wouldn’t mind buying less recognisable things from big houses if I appreciate the piece itself for what it is (eg I got an Hermes enamel bracelet recently, and got the les chaines hinged bracelet instead of the far more recognisable clic clac because I liked it better). But IMO there’s obviously brand appeal or luxury appeal that augments my enjoyment of these items, whether I want to admit it or not.
 
My line is that I don’t have jewellery, I have a wearable rock collection. And it’s true. I buy stones because they are interesting, and set them into rings so that I can admire them. Some are inexpensive, some pricey. It’s absolutely not about making any kind of statement, beyond “I like interesting stones”.

Of course, anything you wear will be read (or misread) as a statement, even if it’s only “I can afford to spend money on shiny rocks”. You can’t avoid that. But as others have said, most people are not into jewellery. They have no idea what different stones look like, whether they are real or fake, or how much they cost. It’s the setting that people notice. Is it flashy or understated? Edgy, conventional, retro, antique?

Are you sure it’s only the impression you give that worries you? Do you yourself perhaps feel that spending money on shiny rocks is inappropriate in straitened times (even if you can easily afford to)? If so, well, there is your answer.

There are green stones for every budget. Green diamond, emerald, demantoid, tsavorite, mint garnet, peridot, sapphire. Mint garnet may be suitable – moderately priced, light green, super sparkly.

On the tapestry purse, are you crafty? I’ve seen very nice DIY tapestry and beadwork purses. “I made it myself” is a statement you would be proud to make.
 
I am never drawn to something due to cost.
For me, it is how the piece makes me feel.
If I find something beautiful and it draws me in- that's my criteria.
I am definitely not drawn to name brands. It is the specific piece that attracts me.
Not the cache factor so to speak.

And as pointed out most people do not have a clue as to the cost factor. I am not trying to impress anybody. I purchase items for me. I wear pieces for me. For no one else.

As I like to say, it's none of my business what others think of me.
I don't need anyone's approval.


betruetoyourself.jpg
 
seaurchin said:
Wondering if anyone else feels this way (or not) and any details you care to share. I've come around to wanting my jewelry, accessories and other items to not make a statement either way as far as money goes, whether they're real or faux. (I forgot this and bought a large lab emerald and now I'm trying to decide what to do with it, which is why it's on my mind right now).

It's not like I was ever at the level of being a (real or faux) Rolex or Birkin person anyway, but I just started to feel sort of embarrassed at anything that shouts "Expensive!" But then it's not like I want it to shout "Poor!" either lol. Of course, what shouts anything is also a matter of opinion but I'd rather if the main impression to me is just "Pretty!" without the cost or value factor being apparent. I'm less sure of my reasons because it's mostly just a feeling. But I guess it's a combo of that uncomfortable feeling socially, and also worry about drawing an attack or theft (which is how I can tell I'm getting old haha). We've also been travelling/moving around a lot for the past few years, which is probably what brought it on in the first place because then that kind of stuff becomes a real pain.

For my next ring, instead of the big lab emerald (my feeling would be the same about a mined emerald) I'd rather have a large, light green stone, for example, where the value of the stone wasn't apparent. I also long for a purse made from a tapestry or something along those lines, that's very pretty but, again, with the cost/value of it not apparent. Thoughts?
Click to expand...

Others have already expressed very valid points. I'm just going to add that especially jewelry (when it's not the super recognizable brands ) is maybe less of a screaming "RICH" scenario.

Very few people have any clue whatsoever about it and even less so coloured stones, so if you'd want to wear that emerald because you love it, I'd say go ahead. Probably many people will just notice the colour.
 
mommylawyer said:
I feel the same. For me, it started with the economic struggles brought on by the pandemic. I couldn't bring myself to wear anything expensive when the economy was in such a state of flux for my family and many others. Although these "expensive" items were purchased prior to the pandemic when times were good, I didn't feel comfortable wearing them when times were hard.

Almost two years later, I still find myself reaching for my modest pieces most often. And, I try to purchase preloved whenever I can. I've bought some lovely pieces from PS members over the past two years.
Click to expand...

This! Every word! Our situation changed drastically due to Covid and while we’ve mostly recovered, it’s definitely altered my world view.
 
And it really is all very subjective too, isn't it? I went out a while ago and put on my usual daily earrings, (diamond look-alike ) CZ studs. My husband noticed and said, "I thought you didn't like the status looking stuff anymore." Hmm. I didn't really think of them that way since they're "only" one carat each lol.
 
Some of the wealthiest people look and dress like tramps; likewise some people who have expensive lifestyles outwardly are full of debts.

Apparently when I speak, people could tell that I have had an expensive education. :lol-2:

DK :))
 
I buy what I love and wear it when it want. I will however avoid anything with an obvious logo; I personally think wearing an overly branded ”designer” piece of clothing/handbag (even if it is relatively inexpensive compared to a nice piece of jewellery) is obnoxious.
 
seaurchin said:
I'd rather have a large, light green stone, for example, where the value of the stone wasn't apparent. I also long for a purse made from a tapestry or something along those lines, that's very pretty but, again, with the cost/value of it not apparent. Thoughts?
Click to expand...

I agree. But no one that I would encounter would know that a large pastel green "emerald" is less dear than a vivid-green one.

Sparkly = expensive for most people. That's why I think a nice colored stone can fly under the radar whereas a one-ct diamond elicits oohs and aahs.

Even then, my big shiny opaque gray star sapphire (gateway drug) got more comments and compliments than the much smaller colored stone I spent months choosing.
 
Most people don't know much beyond name brands. Most of my jewelry people won't know unless they happen to know gems. The rest of the world likely figures its fake and I don't correct that assumption.

I had a chuckle at a stage whisper of someone commenting that my diamond earrings had to be fake because they were too sparkly and too big. Um.... OK!!! :lol: I could have chosen to be offended but....nah.. That was someone looking for a reaction that got none.

Over the last couple of years I've come to love custom clothing. I've gotten lovely compliments, though I try not to out myself as the maker except to very specific people who just know (because I'm not into making clothes for anyone else...lol)

Wear the things you like, that make you feel comfortable. some people want to be a walking billboard. I prefer to stay under the radar.
 
I just thought of something. I think that in this celebrity crazed world that we live in, many make the assumption that celebrities would only wear expensive jewelry and don’t once question if it’s costume when it prob is for security’s sake. So I guess the true winners here are the masses bc we can wear what we like and not be at risk of being assaulted or judged, lol.
 
nala said:
I just thought of something. I think that in this celebrity crazed world that we live in, many make the assumption that celebrities would only wear expensive jewelry and don’t once question if it’s costume when it prob is for security’s sake. So I guess the true winners here are the masses bc we can wear what we like and not be at risk of being assaulted or judged, lol.
Click to expand...

I always felt very strongly that I prefer to live in relative anonymity vs being famous. That is not an attractive life to me at all. It would be a nightmare in fact. To me it seems a huge hindrance. The loss of privacy and always being under a microscope being expected to be perfect. No thank you. I much prefer being free.
 
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