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alli_esq

Brilliant_Rock
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So any of you who have read about my work problems know that my boss is pretty nasty--though some feel it should come with the territory of being a lawyer and having a lawyer as a boss.

Well, some information has come to light over the course of the past month or so and I have found out that he is interviewing for my job (it''s a small community in my area of law and I have friends in it). He has also stepped up his game in terms of treating me like garbage--now he doesn''t even wait for me to do anything that could possibly be interpreted as "wrong." Now he just screams and swears and yells and throws things at me (well, he threw a stapler and a redweld at our paralegal--all he did with me was crumple up a letter I drafted that he hadn''t yet read, and threw it at me).

It''s a small firm--just the three of us (boss, paralegal and me), and we work in a suite with several other small firms. His tirades have alerted everyone on the floor to the unacceptable and entirely unprofessional way he treats us. However, although he is definitely very nasty to both of us a lot of the time, the paralegal gets away with what I consider to be a lot. She rarely does work, she recently unilaterally changed her schedule so that she supposedly comes in early and leaves early (but she NEVER comes in early, and in fact, comes in at least an hour later than the office opens every morning, so she actually works about 6 hours/day instead of 8-9 as she is paid to do--but our boss doesn''t know that because he comes in very late every day as well), and every time I ask her for her help with something work-related, she either gives me attitude or doesn''t do it right. I end up doing most all administrative tasks myself because I don''t want to risk the chance of her getting it wrong.

That said, she and I have gotten to be friendly, and she has a good heart. She just doesn''t feel any commitment to the work at this office, which I can understand from her perspective. I take a great deal of pride in my work because this is my career--but to her, this is just a job.

So, yesterday, he decides that we have to get a motion out the door (for which I had written a portion over 2 weeks ago that he never read, but that I had given to him several times for his review). I got all of the supporting documents prepared as soon as I walked into the office, and all we were doing was waiting on his signed draft. Well, the paralegal begins to velobind the supporting papers (punching very small holes into the top of the pages, which takes a long time), and it wasn''t until 4:25, when he finally was done with his draft (the court closes at 5pm, and it takes between 30-45 minutes to get to the court house, and around 10 minutes to finish velobinding those supporting papers), that I discovered that all my hours of collecting the supporting papers and making sure they were in the correct order with all the copies lined up the way they should be were wasted, because the paralegal had put in the holes completely wrong. I hadn''t checked because I''ve never used the velobinding machine and she had, so I stupidly believed that there was no way to screw it up--but she managed.

Anyway, our boss was HYSTERICAL, swearing, SCREAMING at the top of his lungs, and basically blamed me for it not getting out to opposing counsel until 5:20 (I''m leaving to file it in court first thing in a few minutes). The paralegal was standing right there and didn''t take any responsibility for it. I know he is thisclose to firing me, and I don''t know how safe her job is (all I know is that he''s been interviewing for my job). I really do not think it''s fair for me to take the blame for something that was not my fault--and I expressed that to her. I asked her very calmly to please, when he calmed down, to explain to him why the motion didn''t go out in time, because I didn''t think that it was fair for me to take the blame on this one. She said she wouldn''t do that.

I know it doesn''t seem I have much to lose here by taking the heat off of her, but as much as I hate my job (and of course I am trying like hell to find another one), I absolutely need it, and it doesn''t seem like anyone is hiring right now (duh). I get blamed all the time for my lack of experience, and I have no defense to that other than he knew he was hiring a first-year associate when he brought me in...but this was far from my fault. We might have been able to get the papers to court on time if she hadn''t been so careless.

I''m sorry for the length of this post. I am just losing sleep over the insanity of my work right now, and I just can''t seem to be rational about it. I was hoping I might get some insight from some of you--would you tell the boss why it was that it didn''t get out in time? Or do I just continue to be blamed for everything that goes wrong in the office, even when there''s no possible way it could have been my fault? I am not a tattletale by nature, and I hate the idea of throwing someone under the bus, but I''m really sick of covering for her (which I do every day, as she comes in at least an hour later than I do every day).
 
ugh - first of all, your boss takes the cake for being a major a-hole
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. It''s to bad you cannot report him to anyone!

Don''t take the blame! Yes, you have become "friendly" with the paralegal, but she is letting you out to rot. You said so yourself, she doesn''t care about the job. YOU DO.

I think you need to meeting with your boss, and then the paralegal to set things straight.

good luck hun!
 
Alli,

First, I am sorry you are still dealing with this jerk. I know I have said before that you''ll have tough bosses as a lawyer and I still absolutely stand by that statement, but it is entirely inappropriate for him to physically throw things at you. You also say he is interviewing for your job. I think you really need to step up your efforts to find a new job. Yes, the market is tight, but there are jobs out there. I would spend every free moment outside of work trolling legal job sites for listings (let me know if you need suggestions of sites, there are several good legal specific ones).

With respect to taking the blame for this particular issue, I am sorry to say, but the blame is on you. You are responsible for the paralegal. No matter where you work, you will find that blaming a paralegal or a secretary for work that got done wrong is not acceptable. You are their supervisor and the attorney-in-charge. Yes it sucks, and yes, sometimes it really is their fault, but you have to take responsibility for their actions. I have worked with many great paralegals and legal secretaries as well as some horrible ones whose work I always have to check twice to make sure it isn''t being done incorrectly. However, in the end it is my responsibility, not theirs, to make sure it''s done right.
 
my advice is for you to read your post very carefully, try to be objective and think about the situation. what the paralegal does is really not the thing here, it is what you will do that will improve your situation. you have become part of a circus and only you can change that. it is early in your career and you have a chance to make changes. read your post and think about it. is it really this bad, and if it is, then look for a better situation. i would not wait to be fired.
 
Alli,

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I cannot believe this man has thrown things at you and the paralegal. (How long has she been working for him, btw?) Honestly, I think I would have walked out that day. It is just unreal to me that someone could be so abusive in the workplace.

What do you think about finding project work, like document review at a larger firm? I know it''s not what you want to do right now, and will not help you focus your career in the direction you want to take it, but it has got to be better than dealing with what you are dealing with right now.
 
1. Don''t take the blame.

2. Find another job.

I don''t know who told you to just take it because it comes with the territory. Maybe it does. But *no one* deserves to be treated that way. I have plenty of friends who are lawyers and while they work insane hours, none of them are being mistreated. Get your resume together and start looking elsewhere. Life is way too short for all of that nonsense.
 
Date: 6/4/2009 9:33:40 AM
Author: fiery
1. Don''t take the blame.

2. Find another job.

I don''t know who told you to just take it because it comes with the territory. Maybe it does. But *no one* deserves to be treated that way. I have plenty of friends who are lawyers and while they work insane hours, none of them are being mistreated. Get your resume together and start looking elsewhere. Life is way too short for all of that nonsense.
100% agree.
 
Date: 6/4/2009 9:52:50 AM
Author: lucyandroger

Date: 6/4/2009 9:33:40 AM
Author: fiery
1. Don''t take the blame.

2. Find another job.

I don''t know who told you to just take it because it comes with the territory. Maybe it does. But *no one* deserves to be treated that way. I have plenty of friends who are lawyers and while they work insane hours, none of them are being mistreated. Get your resume together and start looking elsewhere. Life is way too short for all of that nonsense.
100% agree.
+1
 
Your boss does not sound rational, compassionate, or like he gives a hoot about who is to blame for what. He acts like a maniac and treats people in ways that are completely unacceptable.

I don''t even think it matters if you reveal that the paralegal was to blame. I think he''d still be livid with you AND her. He will find a reason to be angry and dissatisfied. So I just don''t even know that it''s worth worrying about.

But if you are not looking for a new job - ANY JOB - right now, you should be. You MUST be. Get out of there as fast as you possible can, because this person does not care about your well-being, and an environment like that is not healthy for anyone.
 
I don''t think its going to matter to him about who messed up the pages ... he probably thinks you should be supervising her work & double checking things before they go out. Also: you are his number one target. He''ll find a way to continue to blame you, facts be d*mned.

Sooooooo. I think its fruitless to further explain -- but if that''s what you need to do to make it clear to yourself that you''ve done everything possible to save this job, do it. At this point its about clarifying the story you''ll tell yourself about this experience. If you know you''ve done all you can & documented his mania (write stuff down) -- then later, no matter what happens, you''ll know what to tell yourself about it. Know what REALLY happened. And not blame yourself irrationally or let it affect your confidence (as much) -- of course you''ll be somewhat shaken ... but stronger!

Sorry, this s*cks! I''d guess most of us have had the Evil Boss once in our lives & even gotten fired ... I''ll say that you really do learn the signs of the Evil Boss & it helps you not get into that situation again voluntarily.
 
Date: 6/4/2009 8:52:02 AM
Author: NovemberBride
Alli,

First, I am sorry you are still dealing with this jerk. I know I have said before that you''ll have tough bosses as a lawyer and I still absolutely stand by that statement, but it is entirely inappropriate for him to physically throw things at you. You also say he is interviewing for your job. I think you really need to step up your efforts to find a new job. Yes, the market is tight, but there are jobs out there. I would spend every free moment outside of work trolling legal job sites for listings (let me know if you need suggestions of sites, there are several good legal specific ones).

With respect to taking the blame for this particular issue, I am sorry to say, but the blame is on you. You are responsible for the paralegal. No matter where you work, you will find that blaming a paralegal or a secretary for work that got done wrong is not acceptable. You are their supervisor and the attorney-in-charge. Yes it sucks, and yes, sometimes it really is their fault, but you have to take responsibility for their actions. I have worked with many great paralegals and legal secretaries as well as some horrible ones whose work I always have to check twice to make sure it isn''t being done incorrectly. However, in the end it is my responsibility, not theirs, to make sure it''s done right.
Ditto this. All of it.
 
Thanks for your posts everyone...

To those of you who have recommended that I step up my job searching--I can assure you, I have. TRUST me, I don''t want to "wait" to be fired. It is just a terrible time to be needing a new job. I have had the career services dean at my law school review and edit my resume. I have gone home every night and sent out resumes, I spend much of the weekends sending out resumes. I have been attempting to network at every possible opportunity I have. I have gotten friendly with clients who I believe might at some point refer business to me (when/if I eventually open my own practice--which won''t be for at least a few years). I also have several of my friends in my field and other areas of law looking out for me. I promise, I''m trying!!!

I''d be happy to know which job sites you are referring to, NovemberBride--there are a few I regularly check, but I am always open to more suggestions! Thanks!!
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I guess it''s hard for me especially because I am not actually her "superior" here. My boss has continually undermined me with her, has asked me to do many of the administrative tasks, and does not EVER hold her responsible for anything. (He recently told her that he was concerned that, because I am infuriated with the fact that I need to ASK HIM for my insurance check every month--even though his paying for my insurance is part of my employment contract with him--he is concerned that I do not have a strong enough personality to fight for our clients'' rights. The day he did that was the day I began amping up my job search.) He even has me connect many of his calls for him. I don''t actually honestly know what her job IS. He never even gives her anything to type because she always does it wrong--if he needs anything done with any degree of accuracy or speed, he gives it to me. She doesn''t usually help me with anything--the only reason she even did THIS for me was because I couldn''t do everything myself simultaneously, and I was helping him review the substantive work.

I understand that if my firm name is on a document, it needs to be PERFECT before it goes out--I feel very strongly about that and about advocating for our clients, especially insofar as we must be absolutely sure that nothing that WE do prejudices their rights. However, I don''t see how it is possible for me to be reviewing her work, reviewing his work, and get motions out on time when they are handed to me at 4:25pm, and need to be out the door the moment they are given to me. I am just so angry that I am held responsible for things over which I have absolutely no control.

At least now I know how to use the velobind machine for the future.
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Thanks, everyone, for your honest responses. It really really helps me to gain clarity when I am so lost in my own emotions.
 
i do not mean to be unkind and doubt i should post again. i am doing so to make a point i don''t think you seem to be getting. in my opinion, you are wasting your time and energy trying to place blame. it is not going to help you, to continue to go on, about how much the paralegal doesn''t do and how much you have to do, or how evil the boss is. the situation is simply not working for you and only you can help that.

that said, i know an attorney who actually temped and did administrative type jobs until she could find the correct fit for herself. if you can not take this office situation maybe you could try something temporarily until you find the right place for you. good luck!
 
alli, that is terrible and sounds like such a stressful situation; I am so sorry. I hope you find a new job soon; crossing my fingers for you. {{{{HUGS}}}}}
 
Date: 6/4/2009 11:47:44 AM
Author: crown1
i do not mean to be unkind and doubt i should post again. i am doing so to make a point i don''t think you seem to be getting. in my opinion, you are wasting your time and energy trying to place blame. it is not going to help you, to continue to go on, about how much the paralegal doesn''t do and how much you have to do, or how evil the boss is. the situation is simply not working for you and only you can help that.


that said, i know an attorney who actually temped and did administrative type jobs until she could find the correct fit for herself. if you can not take this office situation maybe you could try something temporarily until you find the right place for you. good luck!

crown--I absolutely get what you''re saying, and you are 100% right. I am wasting my energy. I know I am. It''s just so hard to get out of my head on this.

the only reasons I am not walking out the door (and haven''t so far) are:
(1) I need this money, no matter how little it is, because I have SIGNIFICANT student loans I absolutely MUST pay off, and if I take a freelance job, I will be unable to meet those obligations...and I don''t want to be a financial burden on my fiance if it''s avoidable (if I were to get fired, it would not be avoidable, of course)

and

(2) I am actually getting a lot of great experience writing and going to court at this job, so I am hoping to parlay that into demonstrating greater experience in my chosen field--so that hopefully I can stay in the field that really interests me instead of just taking any old job in the future.

Thank you, though--I really do appreciate your post. You''re quite wise!
 
Date: 6/4/2009 9:57:59 AM
Author: AdiS

Date: 6/4/2009 9:52:50 AM
Author: lucyandroger


Date: 6/4/2009 9:33:40 AM
Author: fiery
1. Don''t take the blame.

2. Find another job.

I don''t know who told you to just take it because it comes with the territory. Maybe it does. But *no one* deserves to be treated that way. I have plenty of friends who are lawyers and while they work insane hours, none of them are being mistreated. Get your resume together and start looking elsewhere. Life is way too short for all of that nonsense.
100% agree.
+1
Ditto.. Im so sorry to hear this.. i hope you find another job soon... DUST to you!
 
Even though you do not know how to use the velobind machine, you still knew where the holes were to be punched to make it look correct? You should have double checked to make sure she was properly preparing the supporting papers.

When volunteering at school, I was taught how to use the velobind and it's very easy. You should take the time to learn to work it. . .BUT, all aside if the paralegal does have a "good heart," she would admit that she was partly to blame. Sounds like you both made a mutual mistake.

That said, do you think your boss has a drug problem? From your description, you boss remindes me of an attorney I worked for when I was in my early 20s. He is the father of one of my friends and while working for him, he would flip out all the time and yell at me. Later, after quiting, it came out that he was addicted to cocaine!
 
Date: 6/4/2009 12:32:28 PM
Author: MC
Even though you do not know how to use the velobind machine, you still knew where the holes were to be punched to make it look correct? You should have double checked to make sure she was properly preparing the supporting papers.


When volunteering at school, I was taught how to use the velobind and it''s very easy. You should take the time to learn to work it. . .BUT, all aside if the paralegal does have a ''good heart,'' she would admit that she was partly to blame. Sounds like you both made a mutual mistake.


That said, do you think your boss has a drug problem? From your description, you boss remindes me of an attorney I worked for when I was in my early 20s. He is the father of one of my friends and while working for him, he would flip out all the time and yell at me. Later, after quiting, it came out that he was addicted to cocaine!

I did check the holes to see that they were lined up, but I didn''t know that it was possible to have it set in such a way that there were too few holes (that''s what ended up happening)--it never occurred to me, because I''ve never used the machine and she had done it before so I thought she knew what she was doing. I was busy doing other things while she was doing that, but I guess you''re right, that I should have known that she might have the machine on the wrong setting.

I know how to use the machine now, after yesterday''s debacle. I just had never done it before, so I didn''t know how easy it was to screw up--I''ve never seen anyone have trouble with it before (aside from it being lined up, which I did check).

I don''t know about my boss using drugs. It''s entirely possible, I suppose. All I know is that he DEFINITELY has a personality disorder. The man is completely unable to control his emotions. He literally has tantrums. ALL the time. The other professionals in our suite are concerned about the paralegal and me--we had about a half a dozen people ask us if we were okay, and one partner at one of the other firms offered to help us get the papers out so that our boss would stop yelling at us. CRazy.
 
Date: 6/4/2009 10:18:21 AM
Author: decodelighted
I don''t think its going to matter to him about who messed up the pages ... he probably thinks you should be supervising her work & double checking things before they go out. Also: you are his number one target. He''ll find a way to continue to blame you, facts be d*mned.


Sooooooo. I think its fruitless to further explain -- but if that''s what you need to do to make it clear to yourself that you''ve done everything possible to save this job, do it. At this point its about clarifying the story you''ll tell yourself about this experience. If you know you''ve done all you can & documented his mania (write stuff down) -- then later, no matter what happens, you''ll know what to tell yourself about it. Know what REALLY happened. And not blame yourself irrationally or let it affect your confidence (as much) -- of course you''ll be somewhat shaken ... but stronger!


Sorry, this s*cks! I''d guess most of us have had the Evil Boss once in our lives & even gotten fired ... I''ll say that you really do learn the signs of the Evil Boss & it helps you not get into that situation again voluntarily.

I totally agree with Deco - irrational people will continue to be irrational, even if presented with a logical and well-reasoned argument.

My deepest sympathies for that you are going through - I''m in a science PhD program and have seen similarly bizaare and irrational abuses of power by those in positions of authority. I''m so sorry you are dealing with this, and I will send good thoughts and prayers your way that another job opportunity opens up for you SOON.
 
Date: 6/4/2009 12:40:56 PM
Author: alli_esq


I did check the holes to see that they were lined up, but I didn't know that it was possible to have it set in such a way that there were too few holes (that's what ended up happening)--it never occurred to me, because I've never used the machine and she had done it before so I thought she knew what she was doing. I was busy doing other things while she was doing that, but I guess you're right, that I should have known that she might have the machine on the wrong setting.

I know how to use the machine now, after yesterday's debacle. I just had never done it before, so I didn't know how easy it was to screw up--I've never seen anyone have trouble with it before (aside from it being lined up, which I did check).

I don't know about my boss using drugs. It's entirely possible, I suppose. All I know is that he DEFINITELY has a personality disorder. The man is completely unable to control his emotions. He literally has tantrums. ALL the time. The other professionals in our suite are concerned about the paralegal and me--we had about a half a dozen people ask us if we were okay, and one partner at one of the other firms offered to help us get the papers out so that our boss would stop yelling at us. CRazy.
Eh, oh well! I hope you find a better job soon.

In the meantime, get an RX for valium and grind a tablet up each morning and stick it in your boss's coffee!
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Alli -

I''m sorry that the madness continues. I too think your boss is not going to change his mind about you if you go tell him whose fault the binding problem was. The one thing I would add is that if you don''t find another job, you should follow the course of action that allows you to collect unemployment. I don''t know the rules in NY but assume you can''t collect if you quit. It''s never easy to get fired and I understand how you''d prefer not to go through that, but collecting unemployment may be better than quitting and getting nothing, given that money is tight.
 
Alli -

Normally I would probably have said to tell him it wasn''t entirely your fault, however, in this situation it seems that he will blame you no matter what. I think it''s pointless to blame her (no matter how much it may or may not have been her fault). Your boss sounds like a real JERK and I''m so sorry you have to deal with this. I wish I had some advice for you, all I can say is I truly hope one day soon you find a job with a much better work environment.
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Hi Ali,

I think this is an important post for you. I''m going to disagree with the others although I do understand your boss is a jerk. He has stated your personality seems too timid for him to believe you can strongly advocate for his clients. Advocate for yourself. This is good practice for you. Tell him what happened succinctly-- no crying, no yelling. Tell him that you need 2 or 3 things from him. You need more authority over the para-legal- he must make that clear to her. You want him to look at your work in a timely fashion, with respect. Tell him you want to work for him but feel he is yelling at you too much.
Stick up for yourself-- tell the truth- dont whine. You have nothing to lose. He wants to replace you now. Be more assertive. Tell the para legal you no longer will accept her errors.

Go Girl Go.

Thanks,
Annette
 
I feel for you :{
That sux working for someone like that.
There does seem to be a lot of them in the law field.

I had one throw a book at me when I gave him some bad news about his server.
I let it bounce off my chest instead of catching it and told him if he ever did that again he was going to be arrested for battery.
That was the last time he even raised his voice to me and I took care of his computers for the next 5 years.

Another his entire office staff quit on the same day recently over the same stuff.
One of them found another job and took the rest with her to work for an attorney who just went out on his own.
 
Ali, she seems to have no problem throwing you under the bus. You need to stand up for yourself.
 
I am so sorry you have to deal with this!


I also think you should be assertive and stand up for yourself. What do you have to lose?
 
I think that before making decisions you need to weigh it out....

Yes, you value your position and your career...but your boss doesn''t value you which makes for a messy relationship. He''s looking to replace you behind your back without so much as the courtesy of letting you know. He''s abusive to everyone in your small office. He''s clearly distrubed. And, if I do say so myself, quite the d-bag.

I think that at this point, if you''re going to extend any energy when it comes to your "work life" it should be proactively trying to find another position. I know that it sucks taking the blame for something you didn''t do...and this paralegal shouldn''t have been so cowardly as to point the finger. But, when I read through your entire post--I can somewhat understand why she did...she''s probably terrified of him, seeing as how she has taken the brunt of his abuse.

I think that stirring the pot, while it probably would "feel good" and "justified" won''t solve the bigger, underlying issue. Your boss is a bully and jerk...he overreacts and flies off the handle. He clearly has anger issues. Bringing up a "dead issue" will only re-incite his wrath and ruin yet another day. Don''t do that to yourself, or anyone else.

I would rather see you address your co-worker one on one. Let her know that what she did, in your eyes, is unacceptable. That while you were stunned at the time and probably handled it poorly by letting the lie slide in front of your boss...you won''t make the same mistake twice, and she should be aware that although you''re friendly, you''re not her patsy.

Alli I''m really sorry that you''re going through this...it''s unfair and absolutely BS. I hate your boss for you, and I don''t even know the man...he sounds like a really boner. I think that you need to get the heck outta dodge ASAP!
 
Date: 6/4/2009 8:40:33 PM
Author: Sabine
Ali, she seems to have no problem throwing you under the bus. You need to stand up for yourself.
Seconded.

Honestly, I''d quit and go wait tables. Let him flounder with a useless paralegal. It sounds like this job''s just eroding your sanity and your self-esteem, and while student loans are a terrible burden, you''d hardly be unique in having to defer them for a while.

I''ve dealt with opposing counsel similar to the guy you''re describing. They are bullies, and they are like any other bullies in that they cringe back when called on their bluster. They also tend not to be very good at their jobs, and I don''t know that I''d want to start building my rep in the legal community as an incompetent d-bag''s whipping post.
 
Sorry to hear this. I was in an abusive work situation and stayed on TOO LONG because: I had invested alot in my career (I was in the process of writing 3 papers at the time) had a newborn baby, and was the primary breadwinner in our house, the one with health insurance, etc. Because of those thing I felt I could NOT leave, and the boss knew that and that made the abuse worse. You have less invested where you are, it doesn''t serve you at all to stay in that situation.
Our lab had a series of "scapegoats" and I witnessed atrocious brow beating behavior, and I guess I was complicit in it because I didn''t speak out about it. Then finally it was my turn. Even if you do things 100% correctly it won''t matter because it is your boss''s perception that matters, not the facts.
For your own peace of mind It is fine to schedule a formal meeting with your boss, writing down your work issues and have a proactive, professional conversation about work expectations, etc. Set firm boundaries, if there is yelling saying that you will continue the conversation at a later time. But if the person is as irrational as you are saying, you can do all the right things, document, etc. but it won''t matter. LEAVE before it has a permanent effect on your self esteem and really, how other professionals view you.

In my situation after a particularly nasty incident where I was fired, in 2 months I was able to find a job with better pay, much better coworkers, where I was respected and rewarded for my work. However because I stayed too long at that other job it has probably colored indelibly my view of myself. I was strong enough to stay and endure the abuse, but I kick myself I was not strong enough to leave when the writing was on the wall. It is better to make an honest day pay waitressing than be in a situation like that.
 
Oh and as far as the paralegal, not surprised at all. Remember this is a dysfunctional work situation where at this point people are not working together but just trying to protect and look after themselves. At my old work it seemed my boss actively tried to sow this tension by arbitrarily favoring some over others, giving some people huge slack while others were brow beated for the smallest infraction. It''s not your job to make things "fair". It''s your job to keep your sanity, extract whatever work experience you can to put on your resume, and move on.
 
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