...tacky?

[Smurfysmiles]

What do you guys think of honeymoon registries? We have one at Target with the normal household items on it but if we had one at disneyworld (our now honeymoon of choice) and just passed it around by word of mouth that we are trying to save up to go for a couple nights...do you think that would be tacky? The site is in increments of 10 dollars so it''s not even a lot of money....

 

[sunnyd]

No different than a regular registry, IMO.

 

[SeattleSweetheart]

I hope they''re not tacky because I have one. It is through Traveler''s joy.

Traveler''s joy seems to have the lowest fees and I''ve know a few couples that used it and had a good experience with it.

I just hope that my guests are comfortable using their credit cards online.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Well apparently the big D in Disney stands for DUMB!
You can''t make a honeymoon registry without having a hotel reservation first! Is this normal or is disney just stupid?

 

[jstarfireb]

Not tacky at all. I had one through Honeyfund (in fact it was our primary registry, with just a few other items on Target and Amazon), which was completely free and didn''t require any money to change hands over the Internet. You can use it for any destination and put in your own increments. I highly recommend it!

 

[Haven]

If you are comfortable asking people to contribute to your honeymoon, do it.
Just know that you will likely have guests who find it to be an incredibly tacky move. As long as you're okay with that, go for it. People can always buy from your registry or otherwise if they aren't comfortable with a honeymoon registry.

You know your friends and family best--if it's something people do in your social circle, I imagine it's less likely to be seen as tacky.

 

[SapphireLover]

It depends on where you live and who you hang out with.

I hate to be a different voice. Amongst my circle of friends in England it is considered tacky and its just another way of asking for cash. I know people argue that registering at a department store is no different, but I think it is as it carries on the tradition in providing the bride and groom with all the items that they need to start their new life and family together.

My rule of thumb- if you could get away with asking for cash then your can get away with asking for a honeyfund. If it would cause scandal and outrage to ask for cash, then don''t ask for a honeyfund.

Who is it that always quotes the excellent Miss Manners on issues like this?

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Honeymoon funds are pretty common here in Oz, you can set them up at the local travel agent. My FSIL had a little old fashioned suitcase with old stickers from famous places around the word stuck on it (it was very cute) and people just put their cards and money envelopes in there.

I dont think it is tacky at all, i think asking for things that you already have and don''t need is just silly and after spending all that money on the wedding, who wouldn''t need a little help with the honeymoon? I think it''s a great idea!

 

[DiamondsforDee]

I have to agree with SapphireLover. If it is common in your circle, then it should be ok. If you could easily ask for cash in your circle, then go for it. It would be a pretty big faux pas in my circle to set up a honeymoon registry or ask for cash, so I''m going the regularly registry route. But if I could do either without being talked about behind my back I probably would.

Requiring reservations before they let you use their honeymoon fund service makes sense. Otherwise you can use Disney''s service for free then take your money and go somewhere else or just take the cash. They want you committed to them first. It makes perfect sense to me.

 

[mayachel]

I don''t think they are tacky. Though they always make me think how the giving of a gift is often about the giver as much, if not more than the receiver. Especially when looking at registries. I think older generations prefer the idea of something with lasting significance. IE:silver candlesticks, not dinner for two. (Even though I totally agree that memories should count as lasting.)

 

[meresal]

Disney isn't dumb, they just want people to stay on the property at THEIR resorts. Also, even when you are there vacationing, most of their "packages" have to be booked thru your hotel room anyway, so it would make sense that they need a reservation to tie them to.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Honeymoon registries are kind of "new"...so not that many people know about them, or are even familiar enough with them (esspecially older folks) to feel comfortable pitching in. I know my mom, who is pretty internet savvy, found out a recent wedding she attended had a honeymoon registry and she was like "I don''t get it"...so, just a word to wise...continue saving on your own just to supplement the fund in case you fall short.

From my experience it''s perfectly normal to have to book your hotel room upfront...I think it''s been that way everywhere I''ve ever gone...so I don''t see why setting up the registry would be any different, you know? Just pick your hotel and put the reservation on your CC--it''s not like they charge you until the actual end of your trip...it''s just saving your spot.

 

[rhbgirl24]

I also have one through Traveler''s Joy, so I hope its not too tacky! Lol fiance and I have been together so long and lived together for a while, we dont need to much of normal household stuff!

 

[purrfectpear]

In extremely poor taste. I realize that some may say it''s OK, but people with breeding will know it is wrong. Ditto cash bars, dollar dances, and any other tacky idea.

 

[Haven]

Date: 6/16/2009 4:12:58 AM
Author: SapphireLover
It depends on where you live and who you hang out with.

I hate to be a different voice. Amongst my circle of friends in England it is considered tacky and its just another way of asking for cash. I know people argue that registering at a department store is no different, but I think it is as it carries on the tradition in providing the bride and groom with all the items that they need to start their new life and family together.

My rule of thumb- if you could get away with asking for cash then your can get away with asking for a honeyfund. If it would cause scandal and outrage to ask for cash, then don''t ask for a honeyfund.

Who is it that always quotes the excellent Miss Manners on issues like this?

That would be me.

I''m not going to quote her directly, but I can tell you that anyone with a honeymoon registry wouldn''t like her answer, anyway. Miss Manners ranks honeymoon registries right up there with asking for cash, cash bars, and including registry information on invitations.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Most of our guests are in the 30-40 age range but too many really old people
We already have a cash bar (free kegs and wine though) so we might as well tack on some more tacky lol
Really though, our families are the kind that aren''t gonna think it''s that terrible

 

[Blair138]

I think it''s been said, but since you are OK with it and you said that your families would be OK with it, then do it. I don''t really think you need us to tell you what is tacky or not because we won''t be contributing

 

[Itgirl76]

I personally think it is a little bit tacky. Honestly for me it is similar to asking for money...

 

[honey22]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:37:31 PM
Author: purrfectpear
In extremely poor taste. I realize that some may say it''s OK, but people with breeding will know it is wrong. Ditto cash bars, dollar dances, and any other tacky idea.

A bit harsh PP! Maybe get off your high horse and accept that other people find these totally acceptable. To assume their ''breeding'' is lacking is just plain rude. I would have thought that it''s just plain manners to be tolerant of others?

They are very common here in Oz, I really can''t see any difference between a gift registry and a honeymoon registry.

 

[sap483]

I think you''ve already decided that your family and friends won''t think it''s tacky Smurfy, so regardless of whether the rest of us think it''s tacky or would be tacky in our own situations, you should go for it

Just an FYI though, I would check to see if your honeymoon registry charges a fee. I had friends who registered at a place that charged a fee to give them money towards their honeymoon. It upped the tackiness factor for me.

 

[LilyKat]

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it (as long as you're following standard registry rules - ie no information unless asked by the guest, etc), but as we've seen, some do. Has anyone else in your circle of friends done it, and if so, what was the reaction? Maybe mention it to close family and friends and see how they react, as it seems to be a very regional/personal thing.

I think having a standard gift registry in addition, as you're planning to do, makes it better, as anyone who does have a problem with a honeymoon registry isn't obliged to use it.

 

[elrohwen]

We are doing a honeymoon registry, because there is absolutely nothing we need that we could get from a regular registry. Since we have to register somewhere, we did the honeymoon thing. Honestly, I do think they''re slightly tacky and if we could''ve registered for normal things, I would''ve done that instead. Most people I''ve talked to don''t see any problem with it though.

 

[emeraldlover1]

Honestly, the question is do you care if people think its tacky? I''m not a fan but hey, I''m not going to not give you a gift because of it. It just wouldn''t be from that registry. I''m personally having a problem myself with my regular registry and big ticket items. Personal struggle though.

I have a friend who was born and raised with family money and status down in Miami and she had a honeymoon registry. I don''t think it had anything to do with her breeding.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:53:19 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Most of our guests are in the 30-40 age range but too many really old people

We already have a cash bar (free kegs and wine though) so we might as well tack on some more tacky lol

Really though, our families are the kind that aren''t gonna think it''s that terrible

So why ask? It''s not like we''re going to be guests at the wedding, and it seems like you''ve made up your mind.

Personally, I''m with Miss Manners on them, but people will do whatever they want to do.

 

[ice-queen]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:51:24 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 6/16/2009 4:12:58 AM
Author: SapphireLover
It depends on where you live and who you hang out with.

I hate to be a different voice. Amongst my circle of friends in England it is considered tacky and its just another way of asking for cash. I know people argue that registering at a department store is no different, but I think it is as it carries on the tradition in providing the bride and groom with all the items that they need to start their new life and family together.

My rule of thumb- if you could get away with asking for cash then your can get away with asking for a honeyfund. If it would cause scandal and outrage to ask for cash, then don''t ask for a honeyfund.

Who is it that always quotes the excellent Miss Manners on issues like this?

That would be me.

I''m not going to quote her directly, but I can tell you that anyone with a honeymoon registry wouldn''t like her answer, anyway. Miss Manners ranks honeymoon registries right up there with asking for cash, cash bars, and including registry information on invitations.

Yes, but to be fair...Miss Manners hardly endorses regular gift registries either. Gift registries are so common, and I believe she has described them as "passable." But she said "These practices are no less vulgar for having become commonplace." I would venture to guess that many of the people who think honeymoon registries are tacky did not think twice about asking for specific gifts via a regular registry. My point is, ALL registries are somewhat tacky if you really think about it...we''re just used to them. Honeymoon regiistries are fairly new so while they may seem a little strange now, they may continue to gain popularity.

With that said, I''m not totally opposed to honeymoon registries, but I probably wouldn''t do it myself.

 

[JSM]

I personally think it''s a bit tacky. I have no problems buying things for the bride and groom that they will want/need for their home (everyone needs sheets, towels, and dishes!), but I don''t like the idea of using my money to go on a tropical vacation that many people are not privileged enough to have. Just a personal view, though. A good friend of mine had a honeymoon registry, I just didn''t contribute to it.

 

[CNOS128]

I don''t like them, and would personally much rather give a gift than money, anyway.

But as long as you''re registered other places, I don''t see a problem with creating a honeymoon registry. That way those who are offended can buy you something at Tiffany & Co. (or wherever), and those who are not can contribute toward your honeymoon.

You will almost always be able to find someone who thinks that any choice you make is tacky! (Not you, personally, but one, in general).

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Please don't get crabby just because I asked for your opinions.... (i.e. why bother asking us, we won't be guests at the wedding)

Anyways, the reason I asked was because as laid back as my family is, I would still be the first to do a honeymoon registry and that is why I wanted to gage other's opinions on it....no need for some rudeness I saw above....

Everyone else, thank you for your opinions and I will definitely take them into consideration

 

[princesss]

Sorry, I wasn''t trying to be rude. If you''d be the first to do it, why not ask your mom''s/BFF''s opinion and go by her response?

I''m always curious about topics like this, because stuff like this (and the dollar dance) are so specific to your region, family, friends, etc. that it seems like asking a random bunch of people on the internet would be counter productive.

 

[cellososweet]

I don''t care for them personally. I find that I like the idea of giving a tangible gift to the couple that they can cherish for years to come or get a ton of use out of. I like to buy couples things like their cookware (that they''ll pull out for everything from Tuesday breakfast to Thanksgiving dinner to parties for special events) or something that I know will get equal use.

I''m in the camp that feels that it is akin to asking for cash but the most important thing is to gauge your guests and decide if this is something that would be considered tacky. If it might be, you just have to decide if that''s ok with you.

Weddings have become an industry and when that happens, tacky things happen. As I said, I''m not a fan, but there are way more tacky things that I''ve seen at wedding lately that have me saying "What the *$@(%?"