Sweet pic, SO and granny

[kenny]

She's 90, with old-timers.
She knew he was family, but had to be told who he was.

Deeply Catholic, they've never told her he's gay, and so, they've never let me meet her.
They fear, perhaps rightly so, it would do her in.

To try to explain to family and friends why my SO never married, she always told everyone no woman is good enough for him, though most know the real reason.
Out of over 150, he is her favorite direct descendant.

They must be related; their glasses are crooked.

 

[AprilBaby]

Lovely photo, too bad gma wasn’t told. She might surprise you!

 

[kenny]

Lovely photo, too bad gma wasn’t told. She might surprise you!

I don't know.
When his dad (the least-religous person in the family) was told he had to be taken to the ER as they though he had a heart attack.
When released he took my SO to the priest ........... who couldn't fix the poor lost soul.

Not pretty.

 

[tyty333]

Very sweet! Sometimes I dont think we give older folks enough credit...I would certainly hope at this point she would love him no matter what
he was!

Edit...just read your last post Kenny

 

[MissGotRocks]

It is a wonderful picture! I think your SO looks great despite his health issues of the past year or so. Thanks for sharing!

They wouldn't even let you meet her under the guise of a friend? Wow - that must be hurtful. She obviously adored him so whatever he chose might just have been fine with her as well. Old people are sometimes more resilient than we give them credit for.

 

[kenny]

It is a wonderful picture! I think your SO looks great despite his health issues of the past year or so. Thanks for sharing!

They wouldn't even let you meet her under the guise of a friend? Wow - that must be hurtful. She obviously adored him so whatever he chose might just have been fine with her as well. Old people are sometimes more resilient than we give them credit for.

Thanks but not hurtful at all.
She's just religious ... "Forgive them for they know not what they do", someone said.

 

[kenny]

It is a wonderful picture! I think your SO looks great despite his health issues of the past year or so. Thanks for sharing!

Yeah, he's gained 30 pounds since getting back on his Jack in the Box cheeseburger, fries & soda diet.
I'll refrain from posting the pics of him emaciated back when he was eating healthy food.

... but he's very happy to get away from this grumpy old man, and return to where he's treated like royalty.
I just treat him like an equal.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Yeah, he's gained 30 pounds since getting back on his Jack in the Box cheeseburger, fries & soda diet.
I'll refrain from posting the pics of him emaciated back when he was eating healthy food.

... but he's very happy to get away from this grumpy old man, and return to where he's treated like royalty.
I just treat him like an equal.

And someone once said you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it. . .

Still, so good to see him seemingly happy and smiling! Hopefully he will incorporate some healthy eating into his diet as well.

 

[monarch64]

Awww. This gives me the happy-sads. Thanks for sharing.

 

[kenny]

Awww. This gives me the happy-sads. Thanks for sharing.

The happy-sads.
Life ... summed up poignantly.

The pic just rips my guts out.
She's so at peace, right there, fully in the moment.
Though half her age, he's still so far away from hisself.

 

[yennyfire]

The happy-sads.
Life ... summed up poignantly.

The pic just rips my guts out.
She's so at peace, right there, fully in the moment.
Though half her age, he's still so far away from hisself.

Hmmm....you hit the nail on the head! Sweet pic, but sure do wish you could be part of that picture!

 

[azstonie]

She lived a life, she knows.

It's a sweet pic and your comment re the glasses: Priceless!

 

[tkyasx78]

Great picture. They look happy!

 

[missy]

The happy-sads.
Life ... summed up poignantly.

The pic just rips my guts out.
She's so at peace, right there, fully in the moment.
Though half her age, he's still so far away from hisself.

Yes I get that from looking at this sweet photo. His granny looks so sweet and they both look happy in that photo.
Makes me feel happy but sad at the same time looking at it. Knowing how much his granny loves him but knowing your SO isn't being true to who he is. Such a hard life to live not being true to oneself. Perhaps the hardest way to live one's life.

 

[MarionC]

Love seeing them both.
I know a little of your pain, we are not accepted by my dd’s french family older generation because we are American, so at Christmas the family is all together but my dd spends the day alone because her fiancé is required to attend and she is not invited.
It's hurtful and sad, and makes me angry that good people are not fully embraced.
I am sorry, Kenny.

 

[arkieb1]

Beautiful photo - My Chinese grandmother is 96 and is still the boss/matriarch of the family usually barking out orders to everyone. The denial of your relationship is in part a generational thing, a cultural thing, a religious thing, a multi layered and very complex thing. One of my best friends at school was a gay guy and my grandmother was always deeply critical and completely unhappy with that, yet my 76 year old mother always accepted and embraced him. In my grandmothers and your SO's grandmother's day gay relationships were not accepted on any level they were hidden and not discussed, Catholicism and cultural values add other or more complex layers of denial to that, but I would hazard a guess and say these women aren't stupid she probably understands on some level why he never got married and she still favours him none the less.

I hope you don't mind me saying, there is a far away, or almost lost expression in your SO's eyes....

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Love seeing them both.
I know a little of your pain, we are not accepted by my dd’s french family older generation because we are American, so at Christmas the family is all together but my dd spends the day alone because her fiancé is required to attend and she is not invited.
It's hurtful and sad, and makes me angry that good people are not fully embraced.
I am sorry, Kenny.

“

French in laws are really “ quelque chose“... ( got french in laws, know sooooo many mixed couples)

:roll

Hope he will make clear that he can't leave her alone for more than 30 mins on christmas.
Otherwise it'll always be a mom before wife situation...

 

[MarionC]

Kipari, glad you have some experience to understand.
Aside from the matriarchal ruler, my dd is thought of affectionately.
Kenny, sorry for the hijack.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Sweet pic! Your SO looks good! It’s s shame she wasn’t given the opportunity to meet you. I guess there is not much that can be done about family dynamics. Some are open some are not.

 

[kenny]

I hope you don't mind me saying, there is a far away, or almost lost expression in your SO's eyes....

Yes, he and her were very close.
Her body is still alive, but Alzheimers has erased 99% the person she once was.
This breaks his heart.
He just told me he could only spend 20 minutes with her, then had to leave to cry.

 

[MissGotRocks]

It is such a wicked disease that just erases a person's entire memory over time. My beloved grandmother lived to be 96 and she had dementia. We were very, very close. I could tell that she knew I was one of her family but my name just escaped her. It was such a sweet, tender moment but heartbreaking for me nonetheless. I feel for him.

 

[Bonfire]

I’m sure it’s painful for you Kenny. Your SO has made his choice. Not coming out to his Granny is his attempt to protect her. I hope you can forgive him and understand. The fact she has Alzheimers is very sad for him. I hope you can both find peace and understanding in this sad situation.

 

[kenny]

Oh, it's none of my business whether he comes out to this granny.
Doesn't bother me at all.

Different generation, different culture.
I get it.
Thanks all for the understanding and good wishes on this thread.

 

[arkieb1]

Yes, he and her were very close.
Her body is still alive, but Alzheimers has erased 99% the person she once was.
This breaks his heart.
He just told me he could only spend 20 minutes with her, then had to leave to cry.

Ahhhh, that totally explains the wistful, sad look I can see. My father's father, my grandfather had Alzheimers for over ten years in a nursing home and didn't know any of us for a large part of that so I understand his sadness.

The people suggesting he should come out to her don't get it, there would be no point because of her disease and they probably don't appreciate the level of how that just wasn't done in her day. These women were born in an age before TVs, computers, hand held phones, social media, dishwashers, washing machines, before or during two world wars, back when social structures and mores and even the way they lived were vastly vastly different to now. And even if that wasn't the case it's his decision not anyone else's.

 

[Un_Petit_Rayon_de_Soleil]

Great picture. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Un_Petit_Rayon_de_Soleil]

I know your pain. My husband is French and to day my in-laws are eiffi is an understatement. We are spending New Year's with them and I am already storing up on patience.

Love seeing them both.

I know a little of your pain, we are not accepted by my dd’s french family older generation because we are American, so at Christmas the family is all together but my dd spends the day alone because her fiancé is required to attend and she is not invited.
It's hurtful and sad, and makes me angry that good people are not fully embraced.
I am sorry, Kenny.