Surprise declines?

[laughwithme]

How many of you have gotten/did get surprise RSVP declines? I.e. from someone you totally expected to show?

I''m kind of irked. My boss and I work closely all day, every day - and there''s constant chit chat about the wedding, where I''m at in planning, etc. Back when his wife was pregnant, she was due just a few days before the wedding, and so I automatically assumed that they wouldn''t be coming. Then she miscarried

He has two other kids and he made a small comment recently that even though kids are invited, he doesn''t like bringing them to weddings since they don''t appreciate the event and require constant attention. I''ve just totally been under the impression that he and his wife will be attending. Yesterday in the mail was his RSVP with a big fat "decline" - no note or anything. He hasn''t mentioned it at work but he probably knows I got it last night so maybe he will today. I''m just kinda irked in a small way, I''ll be over it in a day, but its like dude! seriously! This guy is super nice and normal, so I just don''t get it. Maybe something came up last minute but why wouldn''t he just casually mention it at work?

Anyone else get a mini surprise like this?

On the bright side, thats another $120 I save on food

 

[purselover]

I had a coworker act like she was coming too but then declined. I thought that was odd but she never mentioned it so I didn''t pry. I was more shocked by those who rsvpd yes and then were no shows......

 

[EmDressage]

There could be something going on personally, perhaps even with the delivery date being signifigant (?) so close (though the miscarriage), so it might have just been easier/professional of him to not mention anything except a decline and hope you understand. If your relationship with him is close enough to ask, perhaps bringing it up in a sympathetic (at a causual time, perhaps not at work if people are around or you work in an extremely professional setting) way and giving him the opportunity to explain further by mentioning that you''re sorry they/he will not make it to the wedding, thanks for sending the RSVP so promptly, but not prying into ''why''. If he wants to let you know, that is his ''open door'' to do so, if not and he just moves on, then it is probably something bigger, and you just have to be understanding about it.

 

[princessplease]

I''ve been pretty shocked by all the no''s I''ve received. Out of the 8 reply cards I''ve gotten back so far, 5 were no''s.

One was from an aunt, uncle and older adult cousin who live 10 minutes away...there is a lot of family drama, but I still expected them to come, and they declined.

Then, I invited all of my coworkers from my old job, but only invited them (there are 10 of them, no spouses for budgetary purposes, but they were aware of that) as is perfectly acceptable ettiqute wise. One girl who declined (it was addressed to Mrs. Jan Smith, for example) declined "Mr and Mrs John Smith". I was kind of taken aback by that.

 

[caribqueen]

Even though you''re bummed and it feels a little bad, there''s really nothing you can do about it. I do find it weird that he hasn''t said anything about it, but maybe it was his wife''s decision or something she has going on that is preventing them from going to your wedding. Also, maybe she is the one who filled out the rsvp card and so that''s why there''s no note. idk ???

Many of the people who declined my wedding were going to be coming from a long-distance away. And most of the people who did not communicate with us in some way to tell us they were not coming, included a note which was a nice touch.

At the end of the day, I''m more concerned with those who have rsvp''d yes and then will not show up to my wedding. I keep trying to imagine who on my guest list might do that. I hope it doesn''t upset me too much on the day of the wedding.

 

[brown_eyes]

A close friend of FI''s dad has been giving us dance lessons (as our gift from her) and she declined without mentioning it to us in any of the lessons we had. It''s weird to me, but things come up. No big deal.

 

[Haven]

We had a couple of surprise declines from our friends. I wasn''t upset, but I was pretty surprised.

The most surprising was that one of DH''s oldest friends made a huge deal about the fact that we hadn''t invited her two very small children to the wedding. It was a local daytime wedding, and we only invited family children and the children of our very close friends. We had never even met these children before, and his friend was on the phone with him a couple times asking why she couldn''t bring them. She finally said "Well fine, then we can''t come to your wedding. I can''t believe you''re not inviting our kids." (DH talks to her a lot, but rarely sees her, which is why we had never seen the kids.)

The best part? For her 40th birthday we received an invitation to a party in their home. In THREE different places on the invite it said "NO KIDS, PLEASE" AND she sent out an email reminding everyone to get babysitters for their kids, or to (and I quote) "skip the party if you can''t get a sitter. There are NO KIDS ALLOWED!"

DH was shocked.

 

[Laila619]

I was more pleasantly surprised by some people who I thought for sure wouldn't come, but did!

I had a few people who said they would be coming, but then were no shows. What a rude thing to do.