Sunday Weddings?

[sap483]

Hi Ladies-

I was hoping for your opinions on something. I visited a venue I absolutely adore (Belle Mer) today, however I don't think we can meet the minimums for a Saturday wedding (30k minimum on food and beverages and a 10k set-up fee). If we go with a non-holiday Sunday though, that's reduced to a 8500 set-up fee and 22k minimum. We really had wanted a Saturday wedding though as we both think a Sunday wedding would be inconvenient for our guests- and not as much fun. However, if we give them plenty of notice (we're now thinking of waiting until May/June 2009 instead of Fall 200 would that not be as inconvenient? Maybe it's not inconvenient at all and it's all in my head. What are your thoughts? If we don't do it on a Sunday, I really don't think we can have it at this place.

ETA: Friday could also be an option as it's priced the same...

 

[cara]

I desperately tried to convince my FI to do a Sunday wedding to save a little $$$, and he held firm that it would be too inconvenient. Most of our guests were flying quite far, and a Saturday wedding gives them a choice of which day (if any) to take off of work, while a Sunday evening wedding forces folks to leave the party early or take Monday off. (A midday Sunday wedding is a somewhat more convenient than Sunday evening.)

After it all, I have to say he was right. A few people took a whole week off for our wedding, but the vast majority just made it into a long weekend of sorts. And even though we gave plenty of notice, many people important to us just did not put our wedding at the center of their planning over the preceding year. I'm sure a few more would not have made it if it were on a Sunday, and I spoke to many that were grateful it was on a Saturday and not a Sunday even if they would have found a way to attend anyway.

You have a lovely budget, so I would search for a more affordable Saturday venue if you want to prioritize the convenience to your guests.

Of course many people have lovely and well-attended Sunday weddings, and many people have more local guests for whom a Sunday evening wedding might not be such an imposition. But I am very glad we went with Saturday.

ETA: So Friday I think is more INconvenient for out-of-towners, who absolutely have to take off Friday and might have to take of Thursday. But, if your event is mostly locals, and the wedding starts after work, it has the potential to be a great party.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hey, I just went through the exact same dilemma. I'll see if I can find my thread on the subject for you.

ETA: Here it is: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/sunday-wedding-would-you-do-it-would-you-go.65531/

Looks like there's a dozen more threads on the subject too.

I decided to go for it! Hope you do too.

 

[Jas12]

I chose my wedding date based on the availability of my venue and it happened to be a sunday.

I chose a holiday long weekend (which was canada day-so the Monday is a holiday) so there was no one working the next day. It ''felt'' like any other saturday. Is that an option for you?

 

[Jas12]

BTW--that is a stunning location. I can see why you would want it!!! Simple, elegant, modern yet sophisticated...it has it all

 

[sap483]

Cara- I definitely will explore other options. I fear that nothing will compare though. It's as if this place was created based on almost everything I imagined for my wedding. I agree though that Fridays would probably be more difficult.

Indy- Thanks! What time of the day are you holding your ceremony/reception? The venue I love sets these beautiful fire pits and candles out on their lawn at night, so I really want an evening reception. I know that complicates the situation even more. I may just go for it though. I think I should probably look at a few other places, but I think they'll pale in comparison.

Jas- I wish it was! They specifically said that Sundays where Monday is a holiday go for the Saturday rate. I was bummed, as they still have Memorial Day weekend available in 2009. It is gorgeous no? It's the first venue I've visited that actually looks more beautiful in person.

 

[Independent Gal]

We'll have the wedding in the evening, but geared earlier.

Rough possible timeline: 4:30 ceremony, 5:30 cocktails, 6:30 dinner, so dancing at 8:00 till whenever. That way, those people who live in town, or within a couple of hours drive can still dance for a couple of hours and be home in time for a reasonable night's rest. Those who are from out of town can dance till whenever! The overwhelming majority of our guests will be coming in from far away and would have had to take Friday off anyway. So, may as well take Monday off instead. Same diff. Plus, many of our guests are Jewish, and they are used to Sunday weddings since Jews can't marry on Saturdays.

It also helps that our wedding is small so about 80% of our invitees are of the 'wouldn't miss it for the world' kind, so it won't be a big deal for them. And almost by definition, if the less close folks don't show, I don't care all that much!

 

[lauralu]

Hello there..........that venue looks FANTASTIC!!! But you are asking opinions on Sunday weddings. I would have to say In my opinion, people would be more likely to take off work for a long weekend to attend a Friday wedding. Than go to a Sunday wedding and have to take off a Monday if they are out of town and need the day off. People are always looking for a reason to take a long weekend. It might be really nice for some. I would first check the wedding party though...are they going to be able to get off work if need be. ALso, you will most likely need to be okay with some guests not being able to attend due to it being a Sunday or Friday.

Sundays are just difficult for people I would say. Especially if your having the whole nine yards..big reception, dance ect...people tend to really like the next day to do nothing but recop ect...

If you want that venue and Sunday and Friday do not work....I would wait for it next year. It''s really not that far off anyway. Gives you more time to plan the perfect day!!!! Time will fly by. It always does.

That all being said. We may just be having a Sunday wedding ourselves. However, ours will be very small and quaint.If we decide not to do a destination wedding. Than we may be getting married in an old tudor style mansion with very unique grounds and gardens. We will do a Sunday morning wedding ceremony on one of the old cobblestone lookouts/patio''s off one side of the home and have a brunch type reception meal inside complete with Mimosas and wine..okay coffee and lattes as well..... thats kinda what we are thinking anyway.
Good luck with your decision! There seem to be so many. Try not to stress!

 

[aljdewey]

I had a Sunday wedding, and was SO glad I did.

I think people enjoyed the wedding more because they didn''t have to RUSH RUSH RUSH to get there in time.

For OOT guests, they''d have to take off either Friday or Monday, and honestly? most people would rather miss a MONDAY working! LOL

For local guests, most of them who are closer to you will likely take the Monday off anyway (happened with my guests, although my wedding was small). Our concession: we married at 3:45 pm and reception was done by 8:45 pm. We did a sunset cruise. However, if we''d had a sit-down dinner/dancing, I''d still have gone this way and just run until about 10 pm. Locals (within an hour) can still get home and manage work the next day.

It can also be a plus as it keeps the bar tabs a bit more reasonable since people don''t get shattered knowing they have to get up the next day (if they do go to work).

 

[peridot83]

I think it all depends on the number of out of town guests, the vibe you want, and the age of the guests. Keep in mind, I have not been to a Sunday night wedding so these are just my thoughts =P

Assuming Sunday Night.

Out of Town Guests:

If you have a lot of important out of town guests, you are basically forcing them to stay the night and take a day off work (Monday). From experience, a lot of the latest sunday night flights are 9 p.m. which means leaving the reception at 6:30 p.m. to pick up bags etc which isn''t really feasible.

If you feel they all would have taken a day off ANYWAY that''s not a big deal, but I know for myself, a lot of out of town guests would be taking short flights, or driving 5 hours, (i.e. from Northern to Southern California) and therefore may resent a Sunday wedding, since they wouldn''t necessarily want to make a long weekend of the wedding otherwise.

Vibe:

If you''re having a large wedding with lots of family friends, work colleagues etc. It''s more likely they won''t take a day off, esp. for in town guests, and therefore will leave early. If you want your wedding/reception to be a nice dinner, some dancing, and done then that''s not a really big deal. If you want your reception to be a partying into the night vibe, this will be less likely to occur on a Sunday UNLESS your wedding is more intimate and it''s all close friends who would party all night anyway because...

Guests:

The guests are young and close friends! They''ll party it up no matter what night it is They don''t have to worry about getting the kids to school/summer camp etc. Monday morning if they got a babysitter. It''s less likely they have responsibilities at work that make it hard to miss days etc.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with everyone. The biggest problem would be for OOT guests. Are many of your guests OOT?

 

[sap483]

Originally we were planning a destination wedding (still an option) and lots of our family and friends were really excited to get, so I''m fairly certain that those people would take the time off regadless. Here''s approximately what my guest situation looks like:

1. 55 people local (witin 1 hour drive)- Out of that 40 are our close friends in their mid to late 20''s and the remaining are my close business acquaintances and FI''s aunt, uncle and cousins- I really wouldn''t want our close friends leaving early. In the past when friends have had Sunday weddings (we''ve been to two, one that was aout 2 hours away and another that was a a 3 hour drive plus a ferry ride away), people have either stayed until the end, driven home and gone to work the next day or have stayed the night and taken the next day off.

2. 50 people regional (within a 2 hour drive)- Mostly my parents friends that I am only inviting because my parents are paying for a lot of the wedding- I''d be thrilled if they left early

3. 40 people within 5 hour drive- Out of that 15 comprise close friends and family who I believe would come regardless-- I wouldn''t want them to leave early. The remaining are family members that my mom feels obligated to invite but generally only a couple have shown up to family weddings in the past- so if they don''t come or come and leave early I wouldn''t care.

4. 17 people from the West Coast (plane ride)- 10 of those are are my aunt, uncle and cousins who I''m the closest to- I know they would come anywhere at any time and the remaining are FI''s cousins, two of our friends and an old colleague and his wife who I''m very close to- I think three out of those seven would come (regardless of day). They would need to take time off anyway- so I think that it wouldn''t matter to them what day it was one.

5. 12 people are from Toronto- FI''s family- not sure if they would drive or fly. It would be a really long drive- so they would need to take Monday off either way. Not sure if it would be possible for them to drive without taking time off even if we hold the wedding on a Saturday.

6. 18 people are from Michigan- FI''s family- also a long drive. Same as the Michigan family

7. 20 people from Upstate NY (7 hour drive) - FI''s family- they would definitely drive.

8. FI''s parents live in Colorado and his brother is working in Kenya- they plan to come for several days regardless.


What do you think?

 

[HollyS]

Forty Thousand just for a venue? Really? Everybody''s so matter of fact on this board about the price, I just wondered if this is not at all unusual ???

If you can afford it, God bless you. Have the beautiful wedding of a lifetime, and really enjoy every moment. But for most people, this amount of money would be a nice downpayment on a house (as long as the house was not east or west coast real estate).

And really, I don''t mean to denigrate anything that you are planning; that''s not my point at all. It just aroused my curiosity when I read the venue prices you quoted. I realize we are talking about Newport, and not middle America; but -- wow.

 

[sap483]

Date: 8/27/2007 3:53:23 PM
Author: HollyS
Forty Thousand just for a venue? Really? Everybody's so matter of fact on this board about the price, I just wondered if this is not at all unusual ???

If you can afford it, God bless you. Have the beautiful wedding of a lifetime, and really enjoy every moment. But for most people, this amount of money would be a nice downpayment on a house (as long as the house was not east or west coast real estate).

And really, I don't mean to denigrate anything that you are planning; that's not my point at all. It just aroused my curiosity when I read the venue prices you quoted. I realize we are talking about Newport, and not middle America; but -- wow.

I wish I was kidding...40k would be for Saturday night- including all food, alcohol, ceremony, linens, china, a wedding planner etc. and would include 5 hours for the reception and an hour for the ceremony. It's 30k if we do it Sunday night. They also have a smaller room in an adjacent building that would be 26500 for Saturday night and 19500 for Sunday night.

The smaller room would probably not work as our guest list is quite large, plus I really do love the salon space more. My parents and grandfather are contributing a sizable amount, so we should be able to make it work. I just haven't decided if it's worth it. As much as I do love it, it's a lot of money (I recently did just purchase a new home- so yes you're right it is close to a downpayment). My fiance and mom love it as much as I do though, so we'll see...

ETA: I just realized that I never stated in my response that we are not having it on Saturday night as I would not spend 40k on that- so if we go for it on Sunday night, it will be more like $30k.

 

[cara]

The feeling I get from your post is that you want to have your cake and eat it too...

Yes the location is lovely and you will have a lovely wedding if you book there on a Sunday but it will be a slightly different wedding and guest list than a Saturday event.

Most locals WILL NOT take off the next day; some may, but most will not, even if you personally have taken the day off after Sunday weddings on other occasions.

This means that those people will not drink as much and may leave early, depending on when the event ends.

Some farther-away people will choose not to come, as they would be forced to take Monday off. There is no way around it, some people just woln''t be able to get the day off or woln''t want to use their vacation days for it.

Some farther away people may try to drive back the night of your wedding for work the next day, thus they will drink even less and leave earlier than the locals.

You may see these effects as advantages, like aljdewey who would prefer a smaller bar bill to drunkards and would prefer a smaller more intimate gathering (at a gorgeous and otherwise unaffordable location) to a larger gathering at a less stunning venue. But aljdewey had a small wedding and you have mentioned ~200 on your guest list. Even though you don''t want all of those people to come, you can''t inconvenience some of them without inconveniencing all of them.

My FI and I wanted everyone to be able to drink happily and not worry about being at work the next day at 9 am (or 7am for the doctors), and given that everyone was traveling from so far, we splurged for the more convenient Saturday date. But the extra cost was far less than the $10k you quote for Belle Mer.

The best Sunday wedding I have been to was a Sunday afternoon Jewish wedding. They had dancing outside and a fabulous meal, but people did drink less and it ended by 6pm. It was still awesome, but did not have the same feel as a nighttime party.

It is your choice, and either way is a totally legitimate choice, but be honest with yourself about the fact that you may lose a few guests that you wanted to attend or that people might not drink as much as on a Saturday...

 

[sap483]

For 30k I better be able to eat the cake too. J/K. No you''re right, it''s a choice I have to make, knowing that I can''t have it all. I''ll be doing some serious listmaking this week (my OCD way of problem solving). To put a further twist in things though, we told FMIL about the place and while she thinks it sounds lovely, she was getting very excited about potentially having the wedding in Bermuda (another option we''re pondering) and has been telling all of his family to plan on going to Bermuda next year for the wedding...

 

[sap483]

Ok ladies I have an update. Although I love love love Belle Mer, we decided to go with a different venue. We''re going with Castle Hill Inn and Resort in Newport, RI. The wedding still isn''t on a Saturday, but it''s now on July 4 which is a Friday. This way it''s essentially a Saturday since everyone we know has that day off. The guests can then stay and explore Newport for the entire long weekend if they want. The venue is still very beautiful in a different way, and the food is amazing. So overall, we''re really happy with our decision. Plus we love the event coordinator Nell. She''s been wonderful so far in accomodating all of our needs!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Yea, Newport RI is the furthest thing from affordable, but Belle Mer is gorgeous and I can see why it's your dream venue. I'm a Rhody bride and we're hoping to get married in Narragansett with our reception at the towers (see attached pic). Have you checked out some of the other venues in the area? Aldrich Mansion in Warwick is beautiful (the mansion from Meet Joe Black) as is Blythwold in Bristol RI. They might be a little more reasonable but still in the class of venue you're interested in.

edited: I've heard fabulous things about Castle Hill!

 

[sap483]

Hi Hudson! We actually checked out the Towers before booking Castle Hill. Have you been inside? Before booking, you may want to go visit a few times. When we went we saw several mice running around inside. I think that with noise from a wedding they probably wouldn''t make an appearance, but the idea sketched both myself and FI out. Other than that it was a lovely place. Good luck and keep me posted! Especially about the other RI vendors you choose!