Stupid Q number 43...Food etiquette?

[winelover23]

I''m having heavy appetizers at my cocktail style reception since the reception won''t start until around 6:45 - 7:00. Do I need to communicate to my guests that there will not be a full meal served? I know, I''m a spaz so bless all of you for tolerating my dorky questions.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Yes.

 

[neatfreak]

Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.

What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

 

[winelover23]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:10:07 PM
Author: neatfreak
Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.

What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

Luckily it''s small wedding and I know my guests won''t be "peeved". They like me. KWIM?

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:18:18 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:10:07 PM

Author: neatfreak

Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.


What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

Luckily it''s small wedding and I know my guests won''t be ''peeved''. They like me. KWIM?

Sure, but hungry people get grumpy.

Nah, seriously though, even the people who like you will want to know that dinner won''t be served.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:18:18 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:10:07 PM

Author: neatfreak

Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.


What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

Luckily it's small wedding and I know my guests won't be 'peeved'. They like me. KWIM?

I had a small wedding too. Right around lunch. And I think if I decided not to serve lunch even my husband wouldn't like me!

All I am saying is that if you expect your guests to come at 5 and stay all night you will want to serve a lot of appetizers if you aren't serving a meal. It's only common courtesy IMO if you are having your event at a mealtime.

 

[winelover23]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:21:59 PM
Author: fleur-de-lis

Date: 1/7/2010 2:18:18 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:10:07 PM

Author: neatfreak

Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.


What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

Luckily it''s small wedding and I know my guests won''t be ''peeved''. They like me. KWIM?

Sure, but hungry people get grumpy.

Nah, seriously though, even the people who like you will want to know that dinner won''t be served.

Of course and that''s what I was asking. Not whether or not someone thought it was appropriate. Thank you!

For the record it will be plenty of food it just won''t be a sit down or buffet type format. There will be a few appetizer stations as well as passed appetizers.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:25:16 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:21:59 PM
Author: fleur-de-lis

Date: 1/7/2010 2:18:18 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:10:07 PM

Author: neatfreak

Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.


What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

Luckily it''s small wedding and I know my guests won''t be ''peeved''. They like me. KWIM?

Sure, but hungry people get grumpy.

Nah, seriously though, even the people who like you will want to know that dinner won''t be served.

Of course and that''s what I was asking. Not whether or not someone thought it was appropriate. Thank you!

For the record it will be plenty of food it just won''t be a sit down or buffet type format. There will be a few appetizer stations as well as passed appetizers.

I think that sounds lovely, WL! Perfect for your venue, too! (More importantly, how many WINE stations are there???

)

I do agree, though, that you should say on your reception card in your invitations that it is an hors d''ouvres reception.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:25:16 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:21:59 PM
Author: fleur-de-lis

Date: 1/7/2010 2:18:18 PM
Author: winelover23

Date: 1/7/2010 2:10:07 PM

Author: neatfreak

Yes I think you do. If I went to an evening wedding, even one that started at 7, I would expect dinner.


What time is the ceremony? You might want to rethink the timeline if the ceremony is right before. If I were a guest I would be peeved if there was no dinner and I showed up to an event at 5 and was supposed to stay until late KWIM?

Luckily it''s small wedding and I know my guests won''t be ''peeved''. They like me. KWIM?

Sure, but hungry people get grumpy.

Nah, seriously though, even the people who like you will want to know that dinner won''t be served.

Of course and that''s what I was asking. Not whether or not someone thought it was appropriate. Thank you!

For the record it will be plenty of food it just won''t be a sit down or buffet type format. There will be a few appetizer stations as well as passed appetizers.

I like the app idea also! It keeps people moving around, socializing, and snacking.

I''m a grazer, so that makes me happy. I don''t eat big meals, but I snack constantly!

Can''t wait for the invitation!

 

[Lauren8211]

I never answered the question.

Yes, inform them! That way they can push other people out of the way for the apps if they want a full meal.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:32:56 PM
Author: elledizzy5
I never answered the question.

Yes, inform them! That way they can push other people out of the way for the apps if they want a full meal.

**giggle**

Don''t worry, elle, I''m sure WL will have a special table just for you. With Mini. And crayons.

 

[winelover23]

Date: 1/7/2010 2:32:56 PM
Author: elledizzy5
I never answered the question.

Yes, inform them! That way they can push other people out of the way for the apps if they want a full meal.

You are so smart Elle!

VC - There will be plenty of wine stations you can count on that!

 

[sunnyd]

Apps are my favorite part of any meal. Seriously. I''ll eat 300 mini quiches then not want any dinner.

I would definitely put that it''s going to be a hors d''oeuvres reception on the reception card or invite or website so people know to eat something beforehand. Or expect a lot of drunkies!

My mom was initially mad at me for wanting to have the reception start at 7 because my grandparents would starve to death.

They''ve been around for awhile, they know if they''re hungry, they should eat!!

 

[princesss]

I would definitely put "Join us for drinks, hor d''oerves, and dancing after the ceremony at insert reception venue here" somewhere on the invite. That way they know there won''t be a full meal, and they can plan ahead.

 

[Elmorton]

WL, this is pretty trendy around here, and one of my friends wrote on her reception card, "Please join us for toasting and tidbits." I can''t remember what another friend used - something like "Hors d''oeuvre Reception to follow" is fine, you could also say "Cocktail Reception to follow."

Both of these weddings had TONS of food - however, at the first wedding, it was a packed room, and while my table ate well (we were by the door to the kitchen, so the passed apps always made it to us), my parents who were sitting on the other side of the room reported that once they made it to the line (the stations were clustered together almost like a buffet - there was a pasta bar and a couple other items, so a line formed pretty naturally), they were stuck in that 5 min deadzone where everything was nearly empty and the kitchen hadn''t refilled, and the passed apps never made it to the other side of the room. So, while I felt that the "tibits" didn''t really describe the reception from my vantage point, my parents were glad that the invitation had been worded the way it was because they had a totally different experience.

The other reception I went to was great because the stations were scattered in different places across the back of a large room, so there wasn''t a line, and there were quite a few high-top tables, so you could move around and chat, return to your table, whatever. I remember I wasn''t really expecting anything remotely close to a meal (I think the ceremony started at 6, so I ate a light dinner before leaving), but there was just a ridiculous amount of stuff available, plus a crazy big dessert bar. So - I don''t know if you''re at the planning stages yet, but I really highly recommend having the stations all over and doing fewer passed and more stationed if possible. Both of these weddings were larger though (300+), so strategizing might not be as big of a deal for a smaller crowd.

 

[Rock_of_Love]

Yup - I would definitely inform them.

I recently attended a wedding of a very good friend who did a cocktail style reception. I knew what she was doing because I went with her to the tasting, so I didn''t have any problems with it at all. But, A LOT of people did and I think it was mainly because they didn''t know. Personally, I think the problem could''ve been solved by placing little menus on each table and/or at the stations. If people read it and see what is being served, they willl understand the concept. Also, you could sort of "word of mouth" it before hand...especially if it is small.

BTW...when everyone got back to the hotel, there was a huge pizza fest because of this very thing.

I''m doing "cocktail style" too, and my plan is to let everyone know...and put out menus...and I''m also having "late night" snacks.

 

[winelover23]

Thanks for the great input ladies! My guest list is about 40 and our venue is in a large open tasting room of a winery that also opens up onto a patio. I will be sure to add the info to my invite and my wedding website. Our hotel is about 2 blocks from the venue and our ceremony will be out on the patio and will be about 5-10 minutes so people will literally stand up and walk about 10 steps to the reception. Our ceremony starts at 6:30 then reception then we''re done at 10:30 so maybe I''ll do a late night pizza feed or snacks in the hospitality room at the hotel afterwards...

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I love heavy appetizer receptions! They are the norm in the south where my brother got married and YUM (their "heavy apps" were really a full meal though) I would just put on the invite "cocktail reception to follow" or "hors d''ouevres reception" somthing so that they know what to expect.

 

[cakegirl]

I guess this is a regional thing-where I live NO ONE has seated dinners, no matter how big the budget. There is always tons of food-passed, stations, but never a seated dinner. To be honest, i really prefer it this way. I think it is more fun and gives everyone more of a chance to mingle.

 

[Blackpaw]

I think its a great way to do it! Im one of those girls who fills up on appys

WL, is it meant to be a cocktail reception with the equivalent food of a sit down, just not in that format? or is it cocktail and minimal food?

My two step-sisters both got married the same year, and both had cocktail receptions. One had lots and lots of food and it was fantastic. The other had extremely ''petit'' items and not a lot of them. At the latter, people left early to go and get dinner...and got drunk early and ended up in bad shape early!

So i think if you''re not having lots of food you need to let people know...but then if you dont intend them to stay the whole night that''s ok too...

 

[Blackpaw]

Oopps sorry, just re-read and you say there''s plenty of food! i think thats the main thing and wouldnt worry about it otherwise. So long as everyone can eat the equivalent of dinner i dont think you need to mention it

 

[Haven]

I love the idea of a late-night pizza party or something. Friends of ours had hundreds of burgers delivered at midnight to their wedding, and it was really fun. They had a formal sit down dinner and a huge dessert buffet, but they knew the party was going to run late so they prepared for that ahead of time. It was really great to eat a burger after dancing and sipping cocktails all night!

Your wedding sounds lovely, by the way.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I would let them no. Sounds like a lot of fun!

 

[pinki]

I''m doing the same, although my reception starts at 8:00. I''ve just been jokingly telling everyone "Come full because we spent all our money on booze, not food"...We''re very outgoing and silly people so everyone laughs at that. I''m also wording the invitations with reference to it being an evening of Cocktails and Appetizers.

Cj

 

[winelover23]

Date: 1/8/2010 9:29:10 AM
Author: pinki
I''m doing the same, although my reception starts at 8:00. I''ve just been jokingly telling everyone ''Come full because we spent all our money on booze, not food''...We''re very outgoing and silly people so everyone laughs at that. I''m also wording the invitations with reference to it being an evening of Cocktails and Appetizers.

Cj

Love it! Our hotel is 2 blocks from our venue so people really won''t have to work about being too drunk to drive! Let''s just hope they can walk!

Luckily my Dad is bringing his huge motorhome to bring all my stuff over and he doesn''t drink so he can shuttle all the drunkies!