Sound off: Babies in Bars?

[trillionaire]

(CNN) -- From time to time, Sasha Raven Gross can be seen teetering around a neighborhood drinking hole. She flirts with strangers, talks gibberish and sometimes spins in circles for no apparent reason until she falls down. In one hand is her liquid of choice -- watered-down orange juice in a sippy cup.

The 14-month-old toddler is the sort of barfly who''s at the center of a recurring and heated debate: Should parents be allowed to bring their babies and children to bars?

Article from CNN.com


What do you think PS?

Do babies belong in bars?

 

[TravelingGal]

I started this in FHH.

And my short answer is no.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 3/2/2010 4:37:06 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I started this in FHH.

And my short answer is no.

oops! I''ll check it out there. Don''t go in there regularly

 

[princesss]

This was very common in Spain - people would bring their babies and kids, and they''d all play together outside the bar/in the doorway, and all of the adults kept an eye out while they hang out with their friends.

Not sure how I feel about it personally, but it struck me as interesting while I was there.

 

[kenny]

Drinking lowers inhibitions.
People let their guard down in their speech and behavior.

This happening in front of children in the home is bad enough but in public with a group of strangers is not acceptable IMHO.

 

[yssie]

Date: 3/2/2010 4:47:01 PM
Author: kenny
Drinking lowers inhibitions.
People let their guard down in their speech and behavior.

This happening in front of children in the home is bad enough but in public with a group of strangers is not acceptable IMHO.

This. It could be dangerous.

 

[rierie26]

Ditto. Plus, people leave glasses, bottles, etc. unattended all the time. If the kid is old enough to crawl/walk it could get very ugly.

I thought people under 21 weren''t allowed in bars. I''ve seen signs that say so, or is it up to the individual establishment?

 

[joxxxelyn]

I was at a bar a couple of years ago. It was small and intimate with more of a family feel, not loud and clubby. The owner added her own flavors to beer, like bananas and spice, and had some interesting local bands from time to time. Anyway, one night I was there and this baby walks out of the closet. Well, she was more of a toddler. Apparently there was some type of emergency situation and it was the owner''s granddaughter. It struck me as odd, but I guess sometimes there are situations where you don''t have many options.

 

[MissMina]

Back in the day it wasn''t unusual to see kids in the roadhouses in rural Missouri in the afternoon. Don''t know if things have changed.

 

[Callisto]

I think it largely depends on the bar. Like he said in the article he leaves at 7:30. Most bars where I am are still pretty chill at at that point of the evening and would seem child friendly enough. However my state does not have non-smoking in public establishment laws yet so I wouldn''t want to bring a child somewhere that could become smoky.

As far as being dangerous in terms of glasses and bottles, there are glass items and breakables at malls too that people bring their children to. I don''t think that would be a huge issue.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 3/3/2010 3:46:55 AM
Author: joxxxelyn

I was at a bar a couple of years ago. It was small and intimate with more of a family feel, not loud and clubby. The owner added her own flavors to beer, like bananas and spice, and had some interesting local bands from time to time. Anyway, one night I was there and this baby walks out of the closet. Well, she was more of a toddler. Apparently there was some type of emergency situation and it was the owner''s granddaughter. It struck me as odd, but I guess sometimes there are situations where you don''t have many options.

This, to me, is completely different than a mother regularly taking her toddler to the bar. Taking a toddler into that situation is completely unacceptable.

 

[nytemist]

No. It makes me a little nuts when I see babies/young kids in a bar, or anywhere they are not supposed to be. Now, this is just my opinion and I''m not saying all parents do this, but I don''t like the parents who insist on bringing their kids everywhere with them. Like a bar, or a high-end restaurant.

We go to one bar regularly on Fridays nights. It has a restaurant side and a bar side. Normally by 7 it''s busy in the bar. After that it becomes about 3 deep at the bar and the music pumps up. We were talking about something and both happened to say a curse word. Some woman behind me in the crowd was holding a kid of about a year or so, says to me "could you not use that language around my children?" I said to her that''s why a kid shouldn''t be in here. This is where adults come to hang out. You know that in a bar people talk louder, don''t censor what they say as much and want to let loose a bit. If you don''t want kids to hear that, don''t have them there.

 

[Circe]

If we''re talking about a happy little bistro on a weekend afternoon where the parents are enjoying a glass of wine while a baby sleeps peacefully in her stroller, I have no objections.

If we''re talking about the kind of environment in which anyone would be doing a shot (and I''m Russian, folks, so for us, that''s basically just dinner), HELL NO. There''s too much potential for things to go wrong when you drink with strangers for a child to be exposed to it.

 

[Circe]

Date: 3/3/2010 8:58:16 AM
Author: nytemist
No. It makes me a little nuts when I see babies/young kids in a bar, or anywhere they are not supposed to be. Now, this is just my opinion and I''m not saying all parents do this, but I don''t like the parents who insist on bringing their kids everywhere with them. Like a bar, or a high-end restaurant.


We go to one bar regularly on Fridays nights. It has a restaurant side and a bar side. Normally by 7 it''s busy in the bar. After that it becomes about 3 deep at the bar and the music pumps up. We were talking about something and both happened to say a curse word. Some woman behind me in the crowd was holding a kid of about a year or so, says to me ''could you not use that language around my children?'' I said to her that''s why a kid shouldn''t be in here. This is where adults come to hang out. You know that in a bar people talk louder, don''t censor what they say as much and want to let loose a bit. If you don''t want kids to hear that, don''t have them there.

Wow, the entitlement ... I''m sort of in awe that she had the nerve to say anything when she was exposing her child to an adult environment in the first place. Good on you for pointing it out ....

 

[nytemist]

Circe, you have no idea how mad she made me. It took all I had to not say something really rude to her. Unfortunately, I run into plenty of moms in public that have this attitude in Boston and surrounding areas.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/3/2010 9:00:49 AM
Author: Circe

Date: 3/3/2010 8:58:16 AM

Author: nytemist

No. It makes me a little nuts when I see babies/young kids in a bar, or anywhere they are not supposed to be. Now, this is just my opinion and I''m not saying all parents do this, but I don''t like the parents who insist on bringing their kids everywhere with them. Like a bar, or a high-end restaurant.

We go to one bar regularly on Fridays nights. It has a restaurant side and a bar side. Normally by 7 it''s busy in the bar. After that it becomes about 3 deep at the bar and the music pumps up. We were talking about something and both happened to say a curse word. Some woman behind me in the crowd was holding a kid of about a year or so, says to me ''could you not use that language around my children?'' I said to her that''s why a kid shouldn''t be in here. This is where adults come to hang out. You know that in a bar people talk louder, don''t censor what they say as much and want to let loose a bit. If you don''t want kids to hear that, don''t have them there.

Wow, the entitlement ... I''m sort of in awe that she had the nerve to say anything when she was exposing her child to an adult environment in the first place. Good on you for pointing it out ....

A similar thing happened at a bar/restaurant I was at a few months ago. Some women had apparently decided to have a BABY SHOWER there. The place is a small but super busy and popular bar/restaurant with the emphasis on the bar part. One of the women in the baby shower group went up to some people smoking at the bar and told them to stop smoking because a pregnant woman was at her table. Needless to say, that did not go over well, and of course MORE people lit up. (My friend being one of them.)

Time and place, people. A bar is not the place for a baby shower OR a baby.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/3/2010 9:46:06 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/3/2010 9:00:49 AM
Author: Circe

Date: 3/3/2010 8:58:16 AM

Author: nytemist

No. It makes me a little nuts when I see babies/young kids in a bar, or anywhere they are not supposed to be. Now, this is just my opinion and I''m not saying all parents do this, but I don''t like the parents who insist on bringing their kids everywhere with them. Like a bar, or a high-end restaurant.

We go to one bar regularly on Fridays nights. It has a restaurant side and a bar side. Normally by 7 it''s busy in the bar. After that it becomes about 3 deep at the bar and the music pumps up. We were talking about something and both happened to say a curse word. Some woman behind me in the crowd was holding a kid of about a year or so, says to me ''could you not use that language around my children?'' I said to her that''s why a kid shouldn''t be in here. This is where adults come to hang out. You know that in a bar people talk louder, don''t censor what they say as much and want to let loose a bit. If you don''t want kids to hear that, don''t have them there.

Wow, the entitlement ... I''m sort of in awe that she had the nerve to say anything when she was exposing her child to an adult environment in the first place. Good on you for pointing it out ....

A similar thing happened at a bar/restaurant I was at a few months ago. Some women had apparently decided to have a BABY SHOWER there. The place is a small but super busy and popular bar/restaurant with the emphasis on the bar part. One of the women in the baby shower group went up to some people smoking at the bar and told them to stop smoking because a pregnant woman was at her table. Needless to say, that did not go over well, and of course MORE people lit up. (My friend being one of them.)

Time and place, people. A bar is not the place for a baby shower OR a baby.

I get that these people were stupid and shouldn''t have hosted a baby shower at a bar. I get that it''s really rude and entitled to ask people to stop smoking at a bar when you really shouldn''t be there in the first place.

But (if I smoked) I would never light up intentionally around a pregnant woman out of spite or principle. It''s not the baby''s fault the mother is a moron.

 

[mrscushion]

A bit of a different perspective...

When I was little, I know my parents used to take me with them quite often when they went out. Granted, they would not visit dive bars or rowdy clubs, but rather cafés, bistros and private parties to meet up with friends, but some nights would get pretty late and there was usually a fair bit of alcohol involved. This was considered perfectly normal in their circles. (I grew up in Europe, perhaps that makes a difference.)

Can''t say that it hurt me one bit. On the contrary, one thing I have always admired about my parents is that they didn''t give up the social life they loved when they had me.

I am not a parent, but from observation it seems that becoming a parent can involve some degree of sacrifice of the life that used to work perfectly well for you pre-baby. I think that your social connections outside of your immediate family help keep you sane and healthy, and frequenting the social spots you used to visit pre-baby can make you feel like your life has not completely changed. Bringing your child along can be a way to integrate your child into yourlife as opposed to feeling like you''re in every aspect re-building your life and relationship(s) around your child.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/3/2010 1:06:12 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/3/2010 9:46:06 AM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/3/2010 9:00:49 AM

Author: Circe

Date: 3/3/2010 8:58:16 AM

Author: nytemist

No. It makes me a little nuts when I see babies/young kids in a bar, or anywhere they are not supposed to be. Now, this is just my opinion and I'm not saying all parents do this, but I don't like the parents who insist on bringing their kids everywhere with them. Like a bar, or a high-end restaurant.

We go to one bar regularly on Fridays nights. It has a restaurant side and a bar side. Normally by 7 it's busy in the bar. After that it becomes about 3 deep at the bar and the music pumps up. We were talking about something and both happened to say a curse word. Some woman behind me in the crowd was holding a kid of about a year or so, says to me 'could you not use that language around my children?' I said to her that's why a kid shouldn't be in here. This is where adults come to hang out. You know that in a bar people talk louder, don't censor what they say as much and want to let loose a bit. If you don't want kids to hear that, don't have them there.

Wow, the entitlement ... I'm sort of in awe that she had the nerve to say anything when she was exposing her child to an adult environment in the first place. Good on you for pointing it out ....

A similar thing happened at a bar/restaurant I was at a few months ago. Some women had apparently decided to have a BABY SHOWER there. The place is a small but super busy and popular bar/restaurant with the emphasis on the bar part. One of the women in the baby shower group went up to some people smoking at the bar and told them to stop smoking because a pregnant woman was at her table. Needless to say, that did not go over well, and of course MORE people lit up. (My friend being one of them.)

Time and place, people. A bar is not the place for a baby shower OR a baby.

I get that these people were stupid and shouldn't have hosted a baby shower at a bar. I get that it's really rude and entitled to ask people to stop smoking at a bar when you really shouldn't be there in the first place.

But (if I smoked) I would never light up intentionally around a pregnant woman out of spite or principle. It's not the baby's fault the mother is a moron.

Meh, I see your point, but the people smoking at the bar were hardly blowing smoke in the pregnant woman's face. The baby shower group was seated at the very back of the place and the bar is in the very front. Plus it was really only 3 or 4 people smoking-the place wasn't filled with smoke or anything.

The people at the bar smoking were clearly regulars and the people hosting the baby shower clearly weren't. I saw the whole "Now I want a cigarette even more!" thing coming-not sure why they didn't! Oh wait, yes I do-it was their sense of entitlement. That sense of entitlement prevented them from seeing how asking a bunch of drinking, smoking regulars to stop smoking (because they had the bright idea to host a BABY SHOWER at a BAR) might backfire on them.

ETA in my opinion it's the pregnant woman's responsibility to protect her unborn child from harm-not anyone else's. They weren't holding her down and blowing smoke in her mouth-she was sitting at a BAR where smoking is far from prohibited.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 3/3/2010 1:47:24 PM
Author: mscushion
A bit of a different perspective...

When I was little, I know my parents used to take me with them quite often when they went out. Granted, they would not visit dive bars or rowdy clubs, but rather cafés, bistros and private parties to meet up with friends, but some nights would get pretty late and there was usually a fair bit of alcohol involved. This was considered perfectly normal in their circles. (I grew up in Europe, perhaps that makes a difference.)

Can''t say that it hurt me one bit. On the contrary, one thing I have always admired about my parents is that they didn''t give up the social life they loved when they had me.

I am not a parent, but from observation it seems that becoming a parent can involve some degree of sacrifice of the life that used to work perfectly well for you pre-baby. I think that your social connections outside of your immediate family help keep you sane and healthy, and frequenting the social spots you used to visit pre-baby can make you feel like your life has not completely changed. Bringing your child along can be a way to integrate your child into yourlife as opposed to feeling like you''re in every aspect re-building your life and relationship(s) around your child.

Big ditto. I had a similar childhood experience, even though I grew up in NY, because my parents were immigrants from Europe, and would take us out with their immigrant friends (and their kids).

We are talking about this same topic in FH&H, and I mentioned that DH and I have brought DS to bars while on vacation, since we didn''t feel comfortable using sitters we didn''t know at the resorts. The places were low-key, calypso music open air bars (with no one smoking nearby), and every time DS slept through it, because we would go after dinner, around 9 pm. So, he would just sleep in his stroller while we had a few drinks. No big deal.

I would not take DS to a loud, rowdy, smoky bar, though. A bistro type place, I have no problem doing that.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/3/2010 2:56:30 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/3/2010 1:06:12 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/3/2010 9:46:06 AM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/3/2010 9:00:49 AM

Author: Circe

Date: 3/3/2010 8:58:16 AM

Author: nytemist

No. It makes me a little nuts when I see babies/young kids in a bar, or anywhere they are not supposed to be. Now, this is just my opinion and I''m not saying all parents do this, but I don''t like the parents who insist on bringing their kids everywhere with them. Like a bar, or a high-end restaurant.

We go to one bar regularly on Fridays nights. It has a restaurant side and a bar side. Normally by 7 it''s busy in the bar. After that it becomes about 3 deep at the bar and the music pumps up. We were talking about something and both happened to say a curse word. Some woman behind me in the crowd was holding a kid of about a year or so, says to me ''could you not use that language around my children?'' I said to her that''s why a kid shouldn''t be in here. This is where adults come to hang out. You know that in a bar people talk louder, don''t censor what they say as much and want to let loose a bit. If you don''t want kids to hear that, don''t have them there.

Wow, the entitlement ... I''m sort of in awe that she had the nerve to say anything when she was exposing her child to an adult environment in the first place. Good on you for pointing it out ....

A similar thing happened at a bar/restaurant I was at a few months ago. Some women had apparently decided to have a BABY SHOWER there. The place is a small but super busy and popular bar/restaurant with the emphasis on the bar part. One of the women in the baby shower group went up to some people smoking at the bar and told them to stop smoking because a pregnant woman was at her table. Needless to say, that did not go over well, and of course MORE people lit up. (My friend being one of them.)

Time and place, people. A bar is not the place for a baby shower OR a baby.

I get that these people were stupid and shouldn''t have hosted a baby shower at a bar. I get that it''s really rude and entitled to ask people to stop smoking at a bar when you really shouldn''t be there in the first place.

But (if I smoked) I would never light up intentionally around a pregnant woman out of spite or principle. It''s not the baby''s fault the mother is a moron.

Meh, I see your point, but the people smoking at the bar were hardly blowing smoke in the pregnant woman''s face. The baby shower group was seated at the very back of the place and the bar is in the very front. Plus it was really only 3 or 4 people smoking-the place wasn''t filled with smoke or anything.

The people at the bar smoking were clearly regulars and the people hosting the baby shower clearly weren''t. I saw the whole ''Now I want a cigarette even more!'' thing coming-not sure why they didn''t! Oh wait, yes I do-it was their sense of entitlement. That sense of entitlement prevented them from seeing how asking a bunch of drinking, smoking regulars to stop smoking (because they had the bright idea to host a BABY SHOWER at a BAR) might backfire on them.

ETA in my opinion it''s the pregnant woman''s responsibility to protect her unborn child from harm-not anyone else''s. They weren''t holding her down and blowing smoke in her mouth-she was sitting at a BAR where smoking is far from prohibited.

I agree with your post. I also think if it was an issue, the preggo woman should have gotten her butt out of there.

I''m just saying, I wouldn''t have lit up if I knew there was a preggo around. I would have probably told her that if she really cared about her health, she should probably leave because people are going to smoke and not care. I personally, would not have the conscience to do so.

But I''m also not a smoker, so what do I know?