Some thoughts please on this proposal idea

[njseeker]

So, I wanted to run this by all of you guys... I''m thinking of proposing and this is what I came up with generally.

I don''t want to disclose the place b/c I don''t want to blow the surprise but suffice it to say I am comfortable with it being pretty romantic. Anyway, the place has a separate outdoor area and an indoor area separated by glass.

I am very close with my parents and she is very close with her parents. I would like to take them all as a surprise outing to this place. Through some maneuvering she will be standing outside alone. Indoors, I will ask her parents in front of my parents for permission to marry her daughter (I already know all parents want us to get married). Then, I ask them to bear with me and to wait for 5-10 minutes and I bring my gf over in front of the glass but outdoors outside of hearing distance. I then make my speech and get on the one knee and do the whole thing in front of the parents where they can see but not hear....

I would love to hear some genuine honest opinions on whether this is not a good idea or a good idea... I am still deciding on whether to do it in front of the parents or not....

 

[CNYHopeful]

Sounds like a really sweet idea. I think it depends:
1) you mentioned how close both of you are with your parents. Has she ever hinted that she''d like them to see it. Honestly, I personally would love it but I hear from a lot of women that they''d feel pressure or want it to be more one-on-one.
2) Are both parents close to the possible location you might be considering?
3) logistically speaking, would you be able to find a way to get her preoccupied while asking her parents and then bringing her to the place where you''ll propose and she can see?

It sounds like a very personal and romantic idea. I think however it develops will be fantastic! Best wishes to you and keep us posted!

 

[njseeker]

Thanks for the response CNYHopeful... to answer your questions...

1. she''s never mentioned anything about what type of proposal she would want. All I know for sure is that she would want me to be on one knee with a ring to show her.
2. both parents are close to the location.
3. logistically I think I could do really anything once i figure out what exactly i am going to do...

. . . if it was in front of the parents, i was actually thinking about having her watch from outside and wonder what the hell i was doing... then i would step outside and go for it... believe it or not she really has absolutely no idea.

 

[njseeker]

ok so i have second thoughts on doing the proposal thing in front of the parents, i thought it might be too much pressure. I read from one of the other proposals is to make sure your girlfriend has had a manicure before proposing... so... what if I treat her to a "valentine''s" day manicure/pedicure/massage and haircut and then top it off with the proposal?

what order do i have her go through the treatments? massage then manicure/pedicure then haircut? do i get it all done at the same place? or how does this work? and how long will all of this take?

this will probably be in nyc...

 

[Gabes78]

I think that''s a great idea. I''m planning on proposing to my girlfriend at the end of the month and I really have no idea how I''m going to do it. I''ve already asked her parents for permission so I know that''s covered. I really like your idea of having your families see but not hear. I think that she might feel a little pressured if everyone is watching while you ask her so maybe if you put her in a way that she can''t see anyone inside she might not feel so pressured. I also like the idea of taking her to get pampered before that way she will be able to enjoy the look of the ring on her finger. Good luck. Let us know how it goes, I could definitely use some ideas.

 

[njseeker]

thanks for the input. I would share more of what I am thinking but I don''t want to ruin the surprise just in case she or someone she knows reads this.

If you want some more ideas, i''ve been surfing the net and just putting marriage proposal ideas and also reading these posts. Here are some of what I have read that you might like:

1. Simple - just go to dinner and get on one knee and propose or choose a place that has meaning for both of you such as the first place that you''ve met.

2. customize something... labels, fortune cookies, stamps, puzzles, tshirts can all be customized with a short message or simple will you marry me? custom labels can be put on anything and everything i think... i saw one proposal where at a restaurant they brought out a wine bottle with a picture of the man and the woman with a will you marry me on it... i also read of one where you can have a puzzle made of any picture you have and you could have her put it together then propose

3. incorporating children for some reason always seems very sweet. one proposal i read that i thought was pretty sweet was... guy takes girl to the beach... a little boy runs up to the girl and says "your pretty will you marry me?" and then runs off... guy continues the walk... then returns and as the sun is setting asks her to turn around where there is a "____ your pretty, will you marry me", (someone else has to write it)... she exclaims.... oh that''s my name... and turns around and he is on a knee.... i wish i remembered which website i read that on but i thought that was touching...

 

[njseeker]

ooopsss.... the "______ your pretty, will you marry me" part is written in the sand...

sorry.. I reread that and it didn''t make much sense.

 

[babygirl]

njseeker, what a sweet plan. I love the idea of incorporating both sets of parents, but I''m not sure how I feel about having them watch through the glass- what about inviting them to help celebrate with the two of you just after the proposal?

I also like the mani/pedi idea. However, instead of a haircut, I''d get a a massage or facial or another spa service instead. I guess it depends on your girlfriend, but for me- I get a haircut every 2 months or so- a massage would make me feel much more pampered. Something to think about. Best of luck on your proposal!

 

[Kaleigh]

Propose during dinner. Have your families join you afterwards to celebrate your engagement.

 

[Judah Gutwein]

My 2 cents is that your proposal ought to be a private affair between the two of you who will be spending the rest of your lives together.
Having your sets of parents there to witness this momentous event, is IMO, a sub conscious permission slip for them to invade that privacy later on in life where it may not be indicated or appreciated.

You guys are in this TOGETHER.
You guys are the ones proclaiming your love and devotion to one another.
This event should be almost sacred and certainly private in my humble opinion.

Your parents have time to get involved after that.

BEST!

 

[tlh]

I like the idea of getting the parents together before the marriage, that is nice.
But I do not like the idea of asking perm w/ her parents and your parents together. It is sort of your opportunity to bond w/ her parents and get to know them. It is a sweet thing for her parents to have it be, just you and them. Having your parents there, acts as a distraction for this getting to know you bonding time.
I am a fan of the engagement being just the two of you... throwing family in the mix, no matter how exciting it is, sets a weird precident. It is your first step towards being man and wife, and IMHO you should do that alone, after all the marriage is going to be just you and her.. no you her and the in-laws.
Good luck and best wishes!

 

[njseeker]

Thanks for all of the input. I am finalizing my plans and it really helps to hear everyone''s perspective.... hopefully I only have to do this once and I do it right! For those that are interested I''ll provide an update on what I do and how it goes...

I certainly don''t want any subconscious slips! haha.

 

[tlh]

YAY! Do tell!!!

Best wishes!

 

[wishinpink]

Propose to in the evening.

Surprise her the next morning with brunch with the parents!!! I would NOT want my parents watching me be proposed to... it''s so awkward lol

 

[njseeker]

I am engaged! Thanks to all of you for your advice. I proposed on our anniversary. Here''s the story:

I scheduled a surprise spa treatment at a nice hotel spa for the entire morning. She actually ran into Hugh Jackman and got a smile out of him while she was there which made it even better b/c she''s a big Hugh Jackman fan (thanks Hugh!). We then had brunch with both of our parents at a nice restaurant. After brunch I told everyone that I had a surprise waiting for them and then gave each individual an envelope to open that had a "secret location." Both parents had to go to the third floor. My f went to another floor. I then sent my f on a scavenger hunt in the area which consisted of picking up flowers and chocolate for herself among other things. She basically had about 10 envelopes to open which had directions on each of them. She thought that everyone was participating but I took the parents to a hotel suite that had a great living room and asked my f''s parents for their blessing and my parent''s for their approval. After I spoke with them for a bit I went out to meet my f. The last set of directions that my f had was to go to Central Park and open a bag which had a 10x loupe in it. The card that she opened next had very small font written on it that could only be read with a loupe ("Will you marry me?"). After she read it, I popped out behind the rock where I was hiding and went down on a knee and proposed again. Afterwards, I took her back to the suite and celebrated with the parents.

I really appreciate the input that I received from all of you! All of you helped me make it a very special day for both of us.

 

[LostSapphire]

CONGRATULATIONS

What an amazing proposal!

LS

 

[wishinpink]

Great job! Congrats!