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janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
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3,689
hi all, I have some random questions..figure maybe someone might relate or be able to provide feedback on a few of them:

*is it bad form to not invite someone to a wedding but include them in other wedding events (like bachelorette, bridal shower)?
*has anyone been to / had a wedding reception which was small and the band wasn''t in the traditional spot (at the front, interacting with the audience?). The room I''m looking at is perfect for our small sized wedding BUT has a small attached room to the dining area for the band/dancing. My FI thinks this is an unusual set up...just curious if anyone had done anything similar.
*at what point do you ask people to be bridesmaids..does a date have to be 100% before approaching anyone?
*has anyone had a church ceremony several hours before the reception? How''d you fill the time for your guests?
*what are price ranges (I know these will vary greatly by region) for bands? I live in the Northeast.
*what is range that people spend for honeymoons (if going to somewhere exotic).

Thanks all, I know the questions are all over the shop, but feel free to answer if one pops out at you! I love this site!
Janine
 

ammayernyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
Messages
1,268
Date: 12/27/2006 10:35:12 AM
Author:janinegirly
hi all, I have some random questions..figure maybe someone might relate or be able to provide feedback on a few of them:

*is it bad form to not invite someone to a wedding but include them in other wedding events (like bachelorette, bridal shower)?
*has anyone been to / had a wedding reception which was small and the band wasn''t in the traditional spot (at the front, interacting with the audience?). The room I''m looking at is perfect for our small sized wedding BUT has a small attached room to the dining area for the band/dancing. My FI thinks this is an unusual set up...just curious if anyone had done anything similar.
*at what point do you ask people to be bridesmaids..does a date have to be 100% before approaching anyone?
*has anyone had a church ceremony several hours before the reception? How''d you fill the time for your guests?
*what are price ranges (I know these will vary greatly by region) for bands? I live in the Northeast.
*what is range that people spend for honeymoons (if going to somewhere exotic).

Thanks all, I know the questions are all over the shop, but feel free to answer if one pops out at you! I love this site!
Janine
I don''t have answers to all the questions, but here are some...

*is it bad form to not invite someone to a wedding but include them in other wedding events (like bachelorette, bridal shower)? Yes. It''s like saying, come celebrate and give me presents, but you''re not important enough to invite to my wedding. Even if you are having a small wedding, it''s still bad ettiquette.

*has anyone been to / had a wedding reception which was small and the band wasn''t in the traditional spot (at the front, interacting with the audience?). The room I''m looking at is perfect for our small sized wedding BUT has a small attached room to the dining area for the band/dancing. My FI thinks this is an unusual set up...just curious if anyone had done anything similar. I just went to a wedding like this. The wedding was beautiful, but we were at the end furthest away from the band. We didn''t dance once.

*has anyone had a church ceremony several hours before the reception? How''d you fill the time for your guests? I''ve been to several like this. None of the couples did anything per se to fill our time for us. It was just: the reception is later, see you there.

As for bands and honeymoons... depends on how much you want to spend and you will generally find something in that price range. Where do you want to go? What kind of band? What day of the week are you getting married? I live in NYC so things are usually more expensive.

Hope that helps!
 

Anastasia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2005
Messages
451
Date: 12/27/2006 10:35:12 AM
Author:janinegirly
hi all, I have some random questions..figure maybe someone might relate or be able to provide feedback on a few of them:

*is it bad form to not invite someone to a wedding but include them in other wedding events (like bachelorette, bridal shower)?BAD BAD FORM!!! For the reasons listed above!!
*has anyone been to / had a wedding reception which was small and the band wasn''t in the traditional spot (at the front, interacting with the audience?). The room I''m looking at is perfect for our small sized wedding BUT has a small attached room to the dining area for the band/dancing. My FI thinks this is an unusual set up...just curious if anyone had done anything similar.I have been to a wedding like this. The dancing never really seemed to get started. You end up having half of the people in one room and half in the other, and it isn''t as much fun.
*at what point do you ask people to be bridesmaids..does a date have to be 100% before approaching anyone?I don''t think it matters, as long as you are in the process of setting the date, I think it is okay to ask before it is finalized.
*has anyone had a church ceremony several hours before the reception? How''d you fill the time for your guests?I have been to several this way (including my own). Usually the guests just entertain themselves in the free time. I have only been to one where there was an "in-between" party.
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
I think it is not cool to invite someone to all events except the wedding, that is the whole point, celebrating with the couple. To me it is either all or nothing.

The band being off a bit to the side is unusual but it could work, depending on accoustics in the room... I am a traditionalist but it might be fine, you have to scope it all out.

Honeymoons in an exotic place, during a busy time, hard to say. I just came from Little DIx, and the three nice resorts there were running 1000.00 per night in the off season (I am rounding up and including taxes in this)...so it could be tough to really guess. Most islands are expensive, all things are brought in, so even food is pretty pricey...and some places have minimum stays during busy times. Getting there a day or two into the slower season, provding the weather is still decent, can save you tons. A room that might cost 1500.00 per night plus tax the week prior could be nearly half that...

I think as soon as you get engaged, you can mention it to those girls whom you would want as bridesmaids...you could generally mention it, give the basic timeframe for the wedding, or you could wait til things are very firm. With a close friend, I think they know you are getting engaged so it is not out of the blue...

as for time in betwen, I know with bar and bat mitzvahs sometimes there is a time delay, the service is in the morning and then the party is at night...maybe provide some options for local entertainment or siteseeing...makes it nice they can make some plans, so send it out early on...or maybe they have friends in the area and can get together with them...
 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
thank you all! I will only invite proper guests to all wedding events..thanks for straightening me out on this one


for those of you who attended a wedding where the band was in an attached (but visible) room, can you describe the set up a little more and the biggest negatives (or things that were fine about it)?

For our honeymoon, we are flying out of NYC (but wedding will be in NJ). Sounds like the budget will have to be significant for staying in island resort areas. For starters I was thinking South Pacific (Fiji, French Polynesia, even Australia), but I might have to reign that in. We are marrying in Sept, so Carribbean is not going to work.
 

ammayernyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
Messages
1,268
You could go to Aruba for your honeymoon. It''s out of the hurricane line.

Fiji is very expensive but, from what I''ve heard, worth it. You could also choose places in Mexico -- Cancun and Cozumel are hot spots, but not so crowded in September with college students. There''s also Bahamas and Bermuda.

The wedding that I went to where the band was on one side was set up like this: Walk in in the middle of a longish but narrow room. To the left were tables, to the right were tables, the bar and all the way in the right corner was the band. We were sitting on the left side. I''m not sure what other way they could have honestly set up the room unless they switched the corner where the band was. That way the bar and the band would be on different sides so it would have been a little more mixed.
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
Just check that it is not hurricane season...
 

dtnyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
1,088
Date: 12/27/2006 11:33:49 AM
Author: janinegirly


for those of you who attended a wedding where the band was in an attached (but visible) room, can you describe the set up a little more and the biggest negatives (or things that were fine about it)?
At our wedding the band and bar were in one room w/ 2 large open doorways that led into the dining room. It worked out great. We had the cake displayed in this band/bar room, the guest book there and at the edge of the dance floor closest to the doorway that led into the dining room we had some high top cocktail tables- this way people could leave their dining tables and then hang out in the dancing/drinking room w/o having to go back to their "table" to take a break and have a cocktail or enjoy some cake.
Also you had to walk through this room to get to the dining room, so it wasn''t like people didn''t know where it was, etc. But this way if the older folks wanted to talk and not have to shout over the band they could remain at their tables.
 

Cheekyprincess

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2006
Messages
133
It is fairly usual in Australia to have your ceremony hours before the reception. A lot of people go home and change etc for the reception. A friend of mine organised a small get together at a hotel before the reception so that guests could go and mingle should they want to- very informal, nothing booked or anything just a few tables at a bar and guests paid for their own drinks/nibbles of course the bride and groom were busy having photos etc so not present.

ETA: Fiji is very unstable at the moment and may become so again in the future- I wouldn't risk it. I am having my honeymoon at Kota Kinabalu in Malaysian Borneo- the resorts are totally amazing, we are staying at the Nexus, but the Shang ri la is another beautiful option. The nexus is something like 3000 acres of rainforest and beach, there are orangutans and a lot of other wildlife in the area. As far as cost is concerned I am guessing $ conversion here but it is less than $100US per night with b-fast daily. Food is very cheap. http://www.nexusresort.com
 
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