Some Prayers and Good Wishes Needed

[AmberWaves]

Hello everyone. Usually people come on PS asking for well wishes for sick parents, family members and pets, but my need isn''t so desperate as those, but still heartbreaking. I normally wouldn''t do this, but I have nothing else to turn to.

Lately there have been some family troubles on my father''s side that may result in estrangement amongst family, and my father being homeless. I don''t really want to go into it too much, but let me say that there are three siblings (of which my father is one) who own three family trust properties (one of which my father lives in). Lately there have been infighting amongst the siblings, and the trustee sister has decided that she feels it''s better that my 62 year old, unemployed (laid off) father move out and try to buy a house of his own (with no current employment or downpayments). He''s very much the least successful sibling, but is the kindest hearted. He takes in rescue animals of all kinds (we even had a crow for a few years), but my aunts have decided that he has too many plants and too many animals for him to be allowed to live in the home. So, they want him to remove all his animals (two parrots that have been raised since they were chicks) and give them away/move out.

It destroys me to see my father go through this agony, not being allowed to live in the house that he''s lived in for 30+ years because he''s not keeping it museum quality. He''s very tidy, and very anal about how the house is looking, yet will not be allowed to live there because one of the sisters fixed it up too nicely to allow him to ruin it. He''s making plans to move out of state since he won''t be able to afford to live in CA anymore, and submitting resumes all over the place. He''s trying, he really is, but the sisters won''t listen.

Please, pray for my dad, and that his sisters will see how cruel they are being, so we can put this all behind us. He''s a good man who unfortunately fell on hard times. The house is paid off, and my dad pays all the bills there- so he''s not just living there for free. Please just keep us and our family in your thoughts.

Thank you.

 

[ladypirate]

Prayers outgoing for your father--I''m so sorry that he is going through this right now.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Oh my goodness that is so horrible. I will keep him in my prayers.

 

[jewelerman]

your in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[somethingshiny]

How awful! I''ll keep your family in my prayers.

 

[AmberWaves]

Thank you everyone. I really hope something good comes out of this whole situation.

 

[kcoursolle]

Your dad is in my thoughts and I am wishing your family peace.

 

[littlelysser]

Amber - I''m thinking of you and your family. I''m so sorry pal.

 

[partgypsy]

Amberwaves sorry to hear this is happening. It could very well be true with the way trusts are written, that it is within their legal right to evict him.
But is there anyway to get the people involved to discuss, whether whoever set up the trusts in the first place (such as the parents of your father), would have wanted this as an outcome? If they can honestly say no, then perhaps they would be willing to work on some compromise, for example taking out of the trust for him whatever they believe is the depreciated value of that house.

good luck.

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks everyone. Party Gypsy, my grandma is the one who set up the trust, and is now no longer with us. She wanted Dad in that house- the whole family knows it. We''re trying to get together to come up with some kind of solution, but non-trustee Aunt is angry about random things and is trying to bring trustee aunt to her side. A few of my cousins are on our side, and we''re hoping to have a reasonable conclusion made. It''s just making me sick, to see him this way.

 

[mela lu]

this is terrible. I'm so sorry Amber.

This hopefully will make you smile: while I was reading your post, all I could think of was (paraphrasing) the evil/ugly step-sisters in Cinderella, "clean the cinders, wash the floor. etc etc".

I'm sorry Amber. It's no laughing matter, but I hope you at least got a chuckle out of my internal dialog.

My love goes out to you and your dad.

 

[2Artists]

I am so sorry to hear of your father''s troubles.

Sending prayers and well wishes.


Mrs.2Artists

 

[hibiscus]

Hi Amberwaves,

My prayers goes out to your dad and family. I hope things will work out for the best. In Asia, I''m not sure about the real estate law here in the US, I recall seeing it on on of the episodes aired on tv on how a tenant can claim right to the house if he/she stayed for more than 11 years. You might want to ask around to findout more.

Take care, I really hope for the best for your dad, your family and you.

Big hug.

 

[bee*]

I''m so sorry to hear that-sending lots of prayers and good wishes.

 

[Octavia]

Amber, your father really should talk to a lawyer before moving out. Depending on how the trust is set up, he may have more options than it seems right now, and it would be a shame for him to go through all this if your aunt''s threats have no real teeth. I don''t know, it will depend on the details of his situation, but it''s better to know for sure. Best wishes outgoing...

 

[diamondsrock]

Date: 9/4/2008 8:33:51 PM
Author: Octavia
Amber, your father really should talk to a lawyer before moving out. Depending on how the trust is set up, he may have more options than it seems right now, and it would be a shame for him to go through all this if your aunt''s threats have no real teeth. I don''t know, it will depend on the details of his situation, but it''s better to know for sure. Best wishes outgoing...

I agree, double check this. If he is one of the three siblings and they all own the properties together, I''m not sure she would have full rights to evict him. Plus, if it was your grandmother''s wishes that he stay there, I would think that would help him somewhat in a legal battle (especially if her wishes were in writing). Honestly, I would look at every avenue before leaving if I were him.
I don''t know anything about law but that''s my two cents!

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Amber, I''m sending prayers and good wishes to you and your dad.

 

[AmberWaves]

Thank you all so much for the great advice and thoughts. I''m definitely going to talk to him.

 

[Harriet]

My best wishes for your dad, Amber.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Aw, that is sad. I will keep your dad in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[iheartscience]

That''s terrible...lots of PS dust and good wishes for your father! I can''t believe his own sister would treat him that way. I hope everything can be worked out.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Sending support and encouragement your way and sending good wishes to your dad in the hopes that this situation is resolved satisfactorily for all involved.

I''m sorry that you and your father are having to experience this.

 

[sap483]

Lots of good wishes for your family Amber. I agree with the others though, please have your dad talk to a lawyer.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am sending all my good vibes in your family''s direction Amber! Hang in there and fight for what you know is right.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Hi AmberWaves,

Just to ask the obvious, has your father met with a reduced-cost lawyer (assuming his unemployment status might qualify him for help from a legal aid society) to see if he has any rights under the trust OR to explore options he might have to buy him some more time?

(As I can only read between the lines, if he''s crossed some sort of tipping point and become an animal hoarder, he might find it easier to reduce the numbers to a more socially acceptable number. It would be sad for him to do this, I''m sure, but it would likely help his position. Just to illustrate, many cities have a limit as to how many dogs or cats one can have-- often 3-- in a house, and beyond that it is illegal unless one has a breeding permit. If, however, your reference to the two parrots means that he *only* has those two pets, then the sister would not have the benefit of law violation behind her.)

Someone who reads the relevant documents to see the status of your father within the house would better be able to advise your father. Even if he were a mere tenant in a landlord-tenant relationship, he would have rights as well and could not just be kicked out without the right to assert a defense before an adjudicator first; as a named beneficiary in a trust situation, he has additional rights he can assert because the trust has a duty TO HIM as a beneficiary. If money is really tight for him, would you be able to assist him with getting an attorney to review the documents and let him know his rights?

Your father sounds like a nice man. I''m sorry to hear that he''s going through this drama.
f-d-l

 

[Amandine]

How awful! My prayers and thoughts go out to you and your family.

 

[Blackpaw]

AmberWaves you have lots of prayers coming your way from me. Im so sorry for your father. Its so awful when family forget they''re family for the sake of money.

 

[purrfectpear]

I''m sorry that your dad is understandably upset over all this.

I am a little confused about the situation though. There are three siblings who benefit from the trust held properties, and there are three properties, right? Why can''t he just live in whichever property is oldest/worth less? Seems like he would only be potentially degrading his third of the trust then. Do the trust properties produce income and is his third enough for him to find a suitable rental if he moves? Too many unknowns, but I ditto the suggestion to have a legal consultation.

As far as the housekeeping issue, hire a weekly cleaning person? He may need to downsize the number of pets to meet city/county rules.

Good luck to your dad.