Small, inexpensive, stress-free wedding anyone?

[snlee]

Anyone planning/have a small, inexpensive, stress-free wedding? Please share...

I''m interested in getting some ideas....

 

[lmurden]

Have you thought about doing a destination wedding? Sandles Resorts has a lot of options so it would be like having a WeddingMoon. I'm actually considering it. Go to their website. Hope this help.

 

[snlee]

lmurden,
Thanks. I wonder how much it would cost....Have you received a quote from them yet?

 

[abradabra]

A friend of mine did a small, destination wedding. It was a bit expensive, but didn''t have to be. Basically we all went to the Caribbean, rented a house, had it at the house (on a mini-beach) and then went out to a nice dinner as a reception because there were only like 10 of us.

It was really beautiful and definitely worth it, but there were a few things... As a guest, I wanted to make sure the bride and groom didn''t have to deal with anything on the day of because, after all, it was their wedding. But that meant that a few others and I took care of all the last minute snags--which was annoying and not really something you expect as a guest. So to the extent you can make sure you have someone take care of it for you (like at Sandals or a similar locale), it would be nice.

Back to the good--as a guest, it felt really special to just have a very few of us there and getting to do it in the Caribbean was just fantastic (Mother Nature is your florist already)... I highly recommend it.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 2/1/2005 3:40:54 PM
Author:snlee
Anyone planning/have a small, inexpensive, stress-free wedding? Please share...

I''m interested in getting some ideas....

Well, it depends on what you consider *small*.....but if you''re open to keeping it simple, it can be done.

We had 30 people at our wedding....including US! Family was limited to both sets of parents, both siblings (and spouses), and his grandma......no aunts/uncles/cousins/etc. Friends were limited to real friends....not acquaintances, not co-workers, but people we have very close relationships with.

We married in the later afternoon in the rose garden of a public park on the ocean. Since the setting was so beautiful, we didn''t need a swanky florist. We got an 18-stem rose bouquet, a 12-stem rose bouquet, 4 rose bouts and 2 presentation roses for $200 at the local grocery florist....and they were GORGEOUS. One of our friends officiated (she was solemnized by the state for the day). Not only was it personal, but it was $25 to have her solemnized instead of $300 plus for a JP!

Instead of a sit-down reception and dancing, we took everyone on a sunset harbor cruise on a schooner and had a meal catered---steak tips, shrimp, chicken marsala, salad, veggies, the works. No DJ, no chicken dance....nothing. Just a priceless sunset on the water and good company on the boat. In my state, the average wedding cost is $22-25K.....we pulled ours off for less than 1/3 of that!

I''ve never seen a wedding as intimate as ours, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It''s nearly 8 months later, and our friends/family still comment on how it was the best wedding they ever went to....and some of them have been to some VERY swanky weddings.

 

[NyssaLynne]

We had a destination wedding in Jamaica and the ceremony, flowers, cake, minister''s fees, paperwork fees, and a bottle of champagne were included with our resort package because we were staying more than 3 nights. Our trip only cost us $2400 for 7-nights all-inclusive including airfare. We paid extra for photos and video, which was less than $400. So for under $3000 we had a very intimate wedding with just the 2 of us and a fantastic honeymoon included. When we arrived back home we had a reception, with DJ and a professional cake, which cost less than $2000 because we catered the rest of the food ourselves.

 

[innerkitten]

I am

we plan to get married in Tahoe, just the two of us. Then we are having a recption in San Francisco a few days later for friends and family. To make the reception special we will rent out the dining area of a hotel. It''s going to be an evening reception with a cocktail hour feel from 7pm to midnight. Lots of finger foods and things you can walk around with plus cocktails of course .
So far it''s looking as if we may be able to keep the cost low.

The recption location is $500 dollars for the evening. Not bad for san Francisco. It requires no decoration and they arrange the furniture and everything for you. It''s a beautfully decorated already with victorian furnture. The caterer will probably cost a lot it''s going to be for about 65 to 70 people but I don''t know how much yet.

My dress I''m going to buy off the rack and I may not even choose a wedding dress. I may just get what looks good in the color I feel is right for me ( something formal of course). I love vintage for instance and I''ve also heard you can buy a white or cream colored bridesmaid gown and use it as your wedding dress. Just a thought. Wedding jewelry can be bought inexpensivly too.

I have a friend who is a photographer and he is going to give us a deal.

CDs instead of DJ.

And then there will be the cost of a nice hotel in Tahoe for few nights.

This will all cost way under most peoples budget.

 

[fountainfairfax]

I''m in the same boat- this is my second time around and "low key" is the way to go! I''ve been to co-worker''s weddings with informal ceremonies and receptions that were just like having a long cocktail hour- drinks and hors d''oeurves, cds playing in the background, a lot of socializing. I''ve also been to a second wedding where the reception was all about desserts, which was a lot of fun! Brunch weddings also seem to be popular now- some places that aren''t open for lunch on a Sunday will let you have the whole restaurant until 3 or 4 and will only charge for food & drink, no site rental.


We''ve got our hearts set on a "planned elopement" just the two of us on our wedding day but possibly a party hosted by my parents when we return- we''re using my parent''s vacation home in the poconos as home base, but will be going to a local very small private (but cool) gothic chapel for a non-denominational service. Mr. Wonderful is going to wear a suit casual style (open neck shirt) I''m going for a sleek, destination-style dress. We plan on hiring a photographer who specializes in documentary-style photography to "shadow" us the entire day- we''ll go to some beautiful scenic places, wander through the local town, do some silly stuff and just have a great time. It will be in October so the foliage should be great! I''m going to order a small wedding cake & have dinner catered at the house. When we get back to everyone we''ll have amazing photos to document our day, everyone we told so far seems to be cool with the idea! It really is my dream to have my wedding day be about us being together, not all the hoopla. been there, done that!

Good luck and let us know what you decide!

 

[teebee]

snlee ~ if you are interested in doing a destination wedding, you might also want to check into Occidental Resorts & Palace resorts in Mexico. They usually have free wedding packages of some sort (usually with a certain # of room reservations or something like that) and then you pay extra for packages that are beyond the "basic" wedding package. The perk for me, when I was considering this, was that they are all-inclusive resorts (and the food/drinks at Moon Palace south of Cancun where we stayed was EXCELLENT, seriously) so really, your guests have already paid for the food and drinks at the reception.

Anyhow, a friend of mine did this at Moon Palace, had about 50 guests, more than she really expected, and it was an absolute blast. And pretty simple and stress free from what she has told me.

 

[MelissaSue]

occidental resorts??? What an unfortunate name.. to me..

occidental = love canal = toxic waste dumpin and posioning..

Maybe the other occidental is spelled differently.. but still.

I''m sure its a very nice place.. but i don''t think i could go there!!

 

[eks6426]

fountainfairfax...I love your documentary style photography for your wedding. What a wonderful idea!

 

[lmurden]

Snlee, Sandals Resort website can give you a quote if you go through the motions.

 

[Rebemdee]

Check out "Bridal Bargains" by Denise and Alan Fields. It''s a book I got this weekend at an engagement brunch, and it has great ideas. I was really impressed with it.

We are going to find a restaurant with nice ambiance, and keep our guest list at 50, and have a nice dinner with the ceremony there. We are thinking about 50 dollars per person, and will get by with less if they charge less for kids. Then, for the gazillion friends, we''ll have a reception/brunch the next morning, probably at our house. We are going to have to rent tables/chairs, and serving stuff, but that''s not too expensive. We are going to look into the culinary school and hiring students to do the serving and making omelettes to order. We''ll hit up Costco for bagels, cream cheese, fruits, and little munchie things. With champagne only, we can keep the booze cost low. We can even use the table flowers if we have any made for the restaurant the day before. I figure about 100 people for that. We''ll make it "10am to 1pm" and people can come whenever they want.

As for the dress, I''m stuck there. I''m looking online, can''t find what I want. I may just start looking at Macys, etc., for party dresses, because if it''s a semiformal event, I don''t need a formal dress, and can get away with a less "bridal" dress.

I think stress is inherent with the event. The best thing I''ve learned is I am going to offend people, they''ll be mad they weren''t invited to the dinner, rather than just the reception, and I''m sorry but if it''s my wedding, I''m making it what I want. Besides, THEY aren''t paying for it!

 

[snlee]

Thanks everyone for all of your tips/ideas. I''m not even planning my wedding yet but just want to get some ideas. I know I don''t want to have a big wedding and spend tons of money of it.

Rebemdee, I will definitely check out that book when I do start planning!

 

[SubAtomic]

We eloped to Victoria BC. Two friends came with us to act as witnesses. Pretty much any hotel concierge can set up the whole thing, including finding a Justice of the Peace. Then, we took one of the wedding photos and had it made into a card and mailed it out as an invitation to a reception we had a month later. It was strictly "Please, No Gifts." on the invite. We just wanted celebrate. Looking back, an afternoon BBQ would have been less formal than an evening reception. Cheaper to cater, too.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Hey - these ideas are really helpful everyone. As a LIW, I am not doing any official planning yet but its still great to get ideas.

Innerkitten - I PMed you, because I would love to find out where you found such a (relatively) reasonable place in SF. Most of the places I have checked out in my casual browsing are super-expensive, and any tips you have on finding more reasonable palces would be very very appreciated! Thanks

 

[treysar]

We're having a clam bake on a lake (hey, that rhymed.)

But seriously, since the venue we are using is not a hotel/mansion, etc, it is saving us a ton. It is a tent. Basically, a picnic grounds with a caterer - it's really saving a ton. We're at about $75/pp, which is UNHEARD OF in Westchester County! But we could go even lower if we were not having lobster and stuff. So think about alternative venues - they may save you some dough. GOOD LUCK!

 

[Tybee]

I love hearing everyone''s small wedding ideas. I am embarrassed to say that I STILL have done NO planning! We haven''t even picked a date yet (and he proposed in November.) I''m a little worried that friends and family will think I''m getting wet feet. I waited quite awhile before finding the right squeeze, but my family jokes that they thought I''d never commit.

Granted, I''m working full time and am in grad school full time too. I haven''t had a second to even remember my name, let alone plan a wedding. I''ve been really tempted to run away to a resort to do it, but I couldn''t do that to my family.

I wish that wedding planners weren''t so expensive!

I want to hear about more low key weddings...

 

[snlee]

I can imagine, planning a wedding is A LOT of work. This is why I want a small wedding so when I do start planning my wedding I won''t go crazy.

Tybee, have you and your fiance talked about how long of an engagement you want? I''m assuming it''ll be a year or more? Don''t rush things if both of you are ok waiting to get married. There''s nothing wrong with a long engagement, right?

 

[soontobemarried]

I too am planning a wedding on a tiny budget. I have finally decided to have an outdoor wedding in a relatives back yard ( its more like acres of forest). I havent decided on whether to hire a caterer or have my family help cook, as they are very good cooks. With all the money ( 10,000) where saving on a hall, we can splash out on hiring tents, tables, silverware and champagne etc.. to make our day the way we want it. However, before i decided on my cousins back yard i considered renting a house in the Hamptons. Depending on the time of year you can rent some beautiful houses for a week/weekend with a pool, beach and up to 10 bedrooms for around $4000. check out this website if you are interested vrbo.com

Good luck with the planning

 

[anniee60]

am planning a very small wedding of 25guests. these days weddings are based on your budget. My wedding is just going to be my families and friends on both sides of me and my fiance. we don''t have a large family so that makes it a lot inexpensive for us. am just having a wedding at the chapel, reception of 25 guests with cake and fruit punch and then dinner at my house. all these is under 1500 dollars.

 

[selflove]

There is a great book called Fire Your Wedding Planner that my friend gave me that gave me all kinds of insights that I''m using like:

1) Bringing my own wine for the reception rather than buying the reception venue''s marked-up wine
2) Buying just the time of my photographer and the negatives (we''re making our own portraits/album which saves so much $$)
3) Having just one bridesmaid and one best man (less gifts to buy, less coordinating of dresses, etc)
4) Making my own bouquet and my bridesmaid''s bouquet (I''ll try to post a pic)
5) Using green plants (miniture rose plants) instead of flower arrangements for the table centerpieces
6) Searching the sale racks for dresses (I got lucky and found one at David''s Bridal for $99 for a second wedding we''re having abroad--a wedding we''re not paying for!)

There are so many creative things you can do to save money. We set a budget of $10K for 60-70 people. Other things that come to mind are using your computer/MP3 player for music instead of getting a band/DJ, looking at BM dresses that come in white and ivory. Here''s a link to some books on Amazon (that I would like to read, actually, so thanks for asking the question and giving me an excuse to check it out):
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/104-8812288-1119949

While I''ve definitely got a handle on the low-cost part, I''m not sure I''ve gotten to the "stress-free" part but having just one BM makes it a lot easier to deal with so far! It does get frustrating when I see vendors with great stuff that is just outside of the budget we''ve set but with perseverance I''ve been really happy with the quality of vendors I''ve found on a budget. (Like my photographer that I found last night!)

 

[selflove]

This bouquet is so easy to make. It takes 2-3 dozen roses and every florist I''ve talked to charges at least $150. Wrap some ribbon around the stems and it looks great. A lot of people have told me I''ll be too stressed out to make a bouquet for myself and one for my BM but seriously this takes only 10-15 minutes. (I''ve been practicing...it''s a little obsessive...)

 

[GoveyMaru]

Date: 3/3/2005 3:05:35 AM
Author: soontobemarried
I too am planning a wedding on a tiny budget. I have finally decided to have an outdoor wedding in a relatives back yard ( its more like acres of forest). I havent decided on whether to hire a caterer or have my family help cook, as they are very good cooks. With all the money ( 10,000) where saving on a hall, we can splash out on hiring tents, tables, silverware and champagne etc.. to make our day the way we want it. However, before i decided on my cousins back yard i considered renting a house in the Hamptons. Depending on the time of year you can rent some beautiful houses for a week/weekend with a pool, beach and up to 10 bedrooms for around $4000. check out this website if you are interested vrbo.com

Good luck with the planning

Soontobemarried - are you getting married in the Hamptons? I am getting married at my family''s house there next summer and I am just beginning to do research and, of course, am finding that everything is crazy expensive. Do you have suggestions for vendors that you have liked working with?

thanks!

 

[snlee]

I am happy to say I can start planning my wedding now! YES! I''m engaged!!

Now that I''ve had time to think about the wedding though, it''s a bit overwhelming! So many things to decide on and plan!

 

[Tybee]

snlee,

Congratulations! Did you post your story and your rings on another thread? (I barely leave this forum.)
Don''t worry about being overwhelmed, it starts to fall into place pretty smoothly. I totatlly freaked out at first.

Can''t wait to hear more!

 

[lilyinct]

Date: 2/24/2005 9:08:05 PM
Author: treysar
We''re having a clam bake on a lake (hey, that rhymed.)

But seriously, since the venue we are using is not a hotel/mansion, etc, it is saving us a ton. It is a tent. Basically ,a picnic grounds wit ha caterer - it''s really savign a ton. We''re at about $75/pp, which is UNHEARD OF in Westchester Copunty! But we could go even lower if we were not having lobster and stuff. So think about alternative venues - they may save you some dough. GOOD LUCK!

Treysar-

How in the world did you pull only $75/pp????

We''re having a clambake on my parents beach...and at last count, we''re at (cringe) $275/pp. And that''s providing our own wine and beer. My parents are ready to kill me, I told them I wanted a simple clambake, and it''s kind of escalated out of control.

8 days to go!

Lily

 

[Scintillating]

Date: 8/30/2005 5:33:21 PM
Author: selflove
There is a great book called Fire Your Wedding Planner
1) Bringing my own wine for the reception rather than buying the reception venue's marked-up wine

2) Buying just the time of my photographer and the negatives (we're making our own portraits/album which saves so much $$)

I have to comment on these two points, and I'm sure I'm going to get flamed.

1. It's definitely worth it to check if you can provide your own alchohol. This can save $$$.
Many places simply won't allow this. Many with charge you a corking fee and/or bartending fees.

2. I have worked in the wedding industry, both in graphic design and photography, and this is a personal point of contention. Though I and many photographers are happy to sell you our time, expertise and equipment - The negatives are and should be owned and copyrighted by the artist/photographer - for use and reproduction at our descretion only. This is our work, our livelihood, and our art, and we should own it. How is a photographer to make a portfolio if they hand over their work? Yes we are providing you a service, but that doesn't mean that you should own the negatives outright.

I agree that after a time the negatives should be turned over to the couple - As many things can happen to them, people move, accidents happen, etc.

Digital really makes this point moot, as both the bride and client can possess the files.
But I really believe to protect the photographer's rights this should be done after certain time has elapsed.

I know many of you will disagree with this, but try to see it from an Artist and Business person's perspective.
It's hard to remember that though there is great joy and satisfaction working as an event photographer it is a job, and how people feed their families. Most photogs are not out to gouge people - it's a tough industry to make a living. People simply don't realize all the time,work, and EXPENSE that goes into event photography, before, during, and after. Hourly fees often just can't cover the costs. (Photogs can't charge what their actual time costs, because people won't pay it. So they soften it by charging for prints.)

Many photographers don't see things the same way. Fortunately there is room for all kinds in this industry - and all kinds of agreements.

I hope that this gives a little insight... and doesn't offend anyone.

Scintillating...

 

[elephant]

Sigh -- I wish I could sign up for that (a small inexpensive stress-free wedding)!!!! It sounds like a really lovely idea!!

 

[OldBride]

We had our wedding at home for about 70 people and it turned out great. Most of the money we spent went to fixing up the back yard, which is something we wanted to do anyway, so I''m not even going to count it.... I think that the cost of the wedding was about 6k. The caterer, who is a friend, charged 2500 for a wonderful buffet dinner, 800 for table/linen/china rental, 300 for wine(Trader Joe''s) beer and soda, 400 for decorations, 600 for flowers (we made the centerpieces ourselves) 250 for the officiant, 500 for my dress and accessories, 600 for the DJ who mainly played a CD my husband compiled, and 200 for the cake. Very accomplished amatuer photographer friends took pictures. Additionally, I paid for house cleaning and window washing.