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"Small and Intimate" or "with family/friends"

Who do you want to be with when he pops the question?

  • I want both my family and friends to be around when he pops the question

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I want to celebrate on our bed right after and call everyone when we are done :)

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
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JasonFaber

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
74
As I am sure you would want to tell everyone you can think of that you "JUST GOT ENGAGED", I am just curious as to whether or not you would want your family/friends around you right after, or if you want to keep it personal/intimate and call everyone up later over the phone ?
 

neatfreak

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2007
Messages
14,167
I think it totally depends on the girl. Some girls love public proposals and some hate them. I hate them personally.

If you aren''t sure what she''d like stick with intimate and personal. You could always propose alone and then head off to a restaurant where her family/friends are waiting to celebrate.
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
Date: 3/25/2009 5:05:13 PM
Author: neatfreak
I think it totally depends on the girl. Some girls love public proposals and some hate them. I hate them personally.

If you aren''t sure what she''d like stick with intimate and personal. You could always propose alone and then head off to a restaurant where her family/friends are waiting to celebrate.
I agree with neatfreak. I''m not a fan of public proposals either, and her suggestion is great.

After my SO proposed we went out for dinner and coffee and spent the night celebrating our new engagement just the two of us. We didn''t tell our parents until we saw them the next day and then we told all of our friends afterwards. It was nice to be able to let it sink in and relax in our giddiness (oxymoron?) as the next day of announcements was exhausting!
 

JasonFaber

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
74
Lol, I didn't even finish making the poll when everyone started responding. I guess the text gets published even before the poll is finished.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
FI and I were hugging and kissing so much afterwards, that I loved having that moment to ourselves. My family is not the type that you are overly physical in front of. However, if it hadn't been 1:15am already, then I wouldn't have been opposed to meeting up with everyone afterwards, to celebrate... like what Neat said.

ETA: I should add that my proposal was very public in Time Square, but since it was just the two of us, it felt intimate.
 

JasonFaber

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
74
Date: 3/25/2009 5:11:10 PM
Author: sammyj

Date: 3/25/2009 5:05:13 PM
Author: neatfreak
I think it totally depends on the girl. Some girls love public proposals and some hate them. I hate them personally.

If you aren''t sure what she''d like stick with intimate and personal. You could always propose alone and then head off to a restaurant where her family/friends are waiting to celebrate.
I agree with neatfreak. I''m not a fan of public proposals either, and her suggestion is great.

After my SO proposed we went out for dinner and coffee and spent the night celebrating our new engagement just the two of us. We didn''t tell our parents until we saw them the next day and then we told all of our friends afterwards. It was nice to be able to let it sink in and relax in our giddiness (oxymoron?) as the next day of announcements was exhausting!
Hmmm, I didn''t realize that it would take that much work to let everyone know about the engagement, just thought it was a matter of a few phone calls......Good to know
 

neatfreak

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2007
Messages
14,167
Date: 3/25/2009 5:20:18 PM
Author: JasonFaber
Date: 3/25/2009 5:11:10 PM

Author: sammyj


Date: 3/25/2009 5:05:13 PM

Author: neatfreak

I think it totally depends on the girl. Some girls love public proposals and some hate them. I hate them personally.


If you aren''t sure what she''d like stick with intimate and personal. You could always propose alone and then head off to a restaurant where her family/friends are waiting to celebrate.
I agree with neatfreak. I''m not a fan of public proposals either, and her suggestion is great.


After my SO proposed we went out for dinner and coffee and spent the night celebrating our new engagement just the two of us. We didn''t tell our parents until we saw them the next day and then we told all of our friends afterwards. It was nice to be able to let it sink in and relax in our giddiness (oxymoron?) as the next day of announcements was exhausting!

Hmmm, I didn''t realize that it would take that much work to let everyone know about the engagement, just thought it was a matter of a few phone calls......Good to know
Not sure what work you are talking about?
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
I dont mind public as long as it is intimate... ie, people we know aren't around. I really like the special proposal to be just the two of you... because that is who is most important in the marriage... but the celebration part.. friends and family welcome!
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
Date: 3/25/2009 5:20:18 PM
Author: JasonFaber


Hmmm, I didn't realize that it would take that much work to let everyone know about the engagement, just thought it was a matter of a few phone calls......Good to know
haha..well, we don't live in the same city as our parents. My parents are about an hour away and then his parents are another 30-35 minutes from my parents. And then we had separate pre-planned events to go to that night so it was about 14 hours of driving, announcing, and celebrating in one day! Even then, I hate talking on the phone so making phone calls would have been just as exhausting for me!
 

choro72

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
1,867
Date: 3/25/2009 5:20:18 PM
Author: JasonFaber
Date: 3/25/2009 5:11:10 PM

Author: sammyj


Date: 3/25/2009 5:05:13 PM

Author: neatfreak

I think it totally depends on the girl. Some girls love public proposals and some hate them. I hate them personally.


If you aren''t sure what she''d like stick with intimate and personal. You could always propose alone and then head off to a restaurant where her family/friends are waiting to celebrate.
I agree with neatfreak. I''m not a fan of public proposals either, and her suggestion is great.


After my SO proposed we went out for dinner and coffee and spent the night celebrating our new engagement just the two of us. We didn''t tell our parents until we saw them the next day and then we told all of our friends afterwards. It was nice to be able to let it sink in and relax in our giddiness (oxymoron?) as the next day of announcements was exhausting!

Hmmm, I didn''t realize that it would take that much work to let everyone know about the engagement, just thought it was a matter of a few phone calls......Good to know
Yes, good to know now. I had lots of conversations with my mom that went
Mom: "Did you tell so and so?"
Me: "I thought you told them already"
Mom: "Of course not! They should hear from you directly! How ungrateful after all those years watching you grow up and showering you with gifts

voice fades off into the distance

"
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
I think I''d definitely prefer just the two of us, and then calling people afterwards. Alternatively, having the proposal be private, but then after going over to my friends or parents to share with them.
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
I had to really think about this, at first I didn''t think it mattered. But the privacy is nice to be able to hug and kiss etc
afterwards
On the other hand the celebration with everyone would be wonderful too! I think the ultimate combination would be to have a private proposal before dinner with friends or family so you can have both!
 

kittybean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
4,125
Private proposal! I love my family and friends dearly, but it was so special for me when it was just us for the proposal. We celebrated with family the next day.
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
i wouldnt mind either way, but i would like to steal a few moments with my sweetie afterwards
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Ours was at night at the Bellagio fountains, and while there was someone right next to us, it was extremely private (felt like it anyway) and I''m glad he did it that way. I didn''t want anything terribly public, because I wouldn''t want to be the center of any attention. I''m glad he did it the way he did. If family had been there I wouldn''t have been able to relax, and would have been concentrating on them more than the man wanting to marry me. But that''s just me.
 

JasonFaber

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
74
Date: 3/25/2009 6:06:07 PM
Author: ilovesparkles
I had to really think about this, at first I didn''t think it mattered. But the privacy is nice to be able to hug and kiss etc
afterwards
On the other hand the celebration with everyone would be wonderful too! I think the ultimate combination would be to have a private proposal before dinner with friends or family so you can have both!
Hmmm, I am leaning towards this, but it would be hard to organize everyone, especially since I don''t know exactly what day, as I want to propose outside (no rain)......
 

misskitty

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
1,691
I''m going a little against the (apparent) norm -- I''d love a public proposal. If family & friends are around, even better.
 

killerqueen17

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
28
Date: 3/25/2009 8:28:23 PM
Author: misskitty
I''m going a little against the (apparent) norm -- I''d love a public proposal. If family & friends are around, even better.
Agreed!! I love my family and my friends, and if they''re around, it would be great! I''m a pretty public person though... I wouldn''t mind sharing the moment with the people I love.
 

laughwithme

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
667
I would like a private proposal - I expect to basically cry the entire time, and want to hug/kiss for a bit afterwards, and I don''t want anyone else involved in that. There are some things I really want to say to B after we get engaged, that I wouldn''t want anyone else to here. Nothing new, just my most heartfelt thanks that he is in my life.

Shortly after, I will call my 6-8 closest friends, text another few friends, call close family, who will share news with extended family...and then I will pretty much announce it to the rest of the world :)
 

Ashley21

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
59
I think I''d definitely prefer a private proposal ... I don''t want a large group of people staring
, even if it''s family

Calling everyone later sounds much better so we can celebrate the moment by ourselves first
 

jaylex

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
847
Good question! Bf and i have been together over 3 years now and this was a question we talked about as soon as ideas of engagement started coming up.
He is going to do propose when it''s just the two of us... with no one that we know around.
My step sister just got married and her husband had called and told the family he was proposing... word traveled fast so EVERYONE in the family knew he was proposing before she did. (I''m not so much a fan of that idea.... me: "Jason just proposed!" them: "finally! we''ve known for 2 weeks! Thank goodness he got around to it... blah blah".
BF brought up the point that he wants to be the first to find out that i''m pregnant (when it happens... a long time from now!) so he wants me to be the first to find out he''s proposing... both are obviously very important milestones in our relationship and we want to be able to celebrate them just the two of us at first.
Also, we LOVE our families, but our moms are both attention hogs.. and chances are, they would find some way to make the proposal about them if they were there..
So yeah, he is going to propose in an intimate setting and we are going get our parents, stepparents and grandparents together the next day for lunch or something to tell them together.
We do everything else together (the two of us), so this way makes the most sense to us.

But i agree that it is individual to each couple.
 

CNYHopeful

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
360
I vote for Family & Friends-
My FI surprised me with an engagement party at his house after he proposed. It was the PERFECT ending to an amazing day (I know, sounds cliche, but it''s true!). It was such a heartwarming experience to share the engagement with loved ones. What really got me was when his father gave the champagne toast and got all choked up about how they all looked forward to that moment for a long time and were excited to welcome me into their family. With my parents and siblings (whom I LOVE DEARLY) living far away, it meant so much to be able to share that time his family and some of our friends.

The next day, we spent just the two of us, and really got to savor the memories from the night before.
Let me say that before the engagement, I probably would have preferred the intimate proposal with no fanfare afterwards...but having experienced it the other way for myself, I know it was so much better getting to share it with friends and his family afterwards, because I really wanted for us to be able to share it with all of them ASAP! We had another great celebration with my family a few weeks later, so that was nice. Only thing I would''ve wished different - if my family was able to make it up for the surprise engagement party.
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
Date: 3/26/2009 1:00:36 AM
Author: CNYHopeful
I vote for Family & Friends-

My FI surprised me with an engagement party at his house after he proposed. It was the PERFECT ending to an amazing day (I know, sounds cliche, but it''s true!). It was such a heartwarming experience to share the engagement with loved ones. What really got me was when his father gave the champagne toast and got all choked up about how they all looked forward to that moment for a long time and were excited to welcome me into their family. With my parents and siblings (whom I LOVE DEARLY) living far away, it meant so much to be able to share that time his family and some of our friends.


The next day, we spent just the two of us, and really got to savor the memories from the night before.

Let me say that before the engagement, I probably would have preferred the intimate proposal with no fanfare afterwards...but having experienced it the other way for myself, I know it was so much better getting to share it with friends and his family afterwards, because I really wanted for us to be able to share it with all of them ASAP! We had another great celebration with my family a few weeks later, so that was nice. Only thing I would''ve wished different - if my family was able to make it up for the surprise engagement party.
i believe Honey22 had something similar as well - a planned birthday party turned into a surprise engagement party. It might not have been honey22, but i know it happened last summer.
 

sba771

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
887
I vote for private meaning no family and friends. My proposal was in public but private and it was perfect. The funny thing was he proposed on this wrap around porch along this all glass resturant. We didn''t realize until everyone started clapping that they had watched the whole thing. I thought it was so funny and I was so oblivious to everyone else so it didn''t matter.
 

gwendolyn

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 4, 2007
Messages
6,770
Well, what I''d really like is a private proposal, and then some sort of low-key get together so my friends and family (separately, otherwise it''d be a bit too much of a big thing for me) could go out to celebrate, like maybe just out for dinner or something.

I suspect this *may* happen, sort of...next Wednesday, we''re flying back to the US (in England now) to see my family and friends for 2 1/2 weeks, so if he proposes soon (which I think he might do since he told me he had been going to propose originally on my birthday, March 12th!), we should be able to celebrate soon after with my family and friends! Which would be nice.


Your idea of taking her around to the gardens sounds lovely. Any way you could do it tomorrow night, so that when she sees her mom on Saturday, she can spend the whole day celebrating?
 

gossipgirl

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 16, 2009
Messages
18
Definitely a private proposal, with a few private moments and then off to a family/friend gathering.
 

princesss

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2007
Messages
8,035
Just us. I don''t want to have to share that moment with anybody, or feel like anybody is watching us. We can call parents/friends later, but I want time with just us. At the moment we''re 5 hours from his parents and an ocean away from mine, so it''d take some work to get them all together for a party afterward, lol.

I did ask him to not tell his family before he proposes. His cousin sent his dad an e-mail the morning that he meant to propose, and it had reached the entire family by noon! They were just super excited, but I begged BF to make sure that doesn''t happen to us. There''ll be enough people saying, "Finally!" that I don''t need them to know it''s going to happen before I do!
 

Camille

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
452
Def just US! Call everyone after/ maybe invite them for lunch next day.
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
I loved that mine was intimate and personal, but its totally all about the individuals involved - everyone''s different.
 
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